“Episode 3”
Patrick had left, leaving only the moon and Aristman in the desolate chamber. There were no more tears left to shed.
“A wish…”
A hollow voice escaped her lips.
“Wishes… they’re unnecessary.”
The red mark from where Patrick had struck her cheek still stung, but it was her heart that hurt the most. What had he been thinking every time he embraced Aristman, who had wished and wished again? The man who had always comforted her, promising to ensure a successor!
“Don’t worry, Aristman. A healthy successor will come someday.”
It was a cruel deception. While outwardly comforting and encouraging Aristman’s hopes, behind her back, he administered infertility potions every day. He even acted as if it was a special favor for Aristman alone.
“What… what was my life even about?”
Aristman tore at her disheveled hair. She couldn’t bear it without holding onto something. What had Aristman’s life been about? At least it hadn’t been about living to bear that man’s child. More cruel than the infertility potions was the true nature of the husband Aristman had leaned on for ten years. The kind smile hid his cruel deeds, and the man Aristman had known as a loving husband didn’t exist.
“Nothing… is needed.”
There were no tears of true despair. Aristman had always clung to a thread of hope. Now, even that was gone. Everything was darkness.
“In the end… I was just a pretty flower to be displayed.”
Her parents had raised Aristman as a beautiful flower, while her husband confined her like a hot-house flower, controlling her exposure to sunlight and nutrients. His gardening skills were truly perfect. He ruled not only the empire but everything, including his wife, the empress.
“Just a cultivated flower.”
Beauty lost its meaning little by little. Laughter, tears, vitality, all the same.
“Why… have you never granted my wish?”
Aristman’s eyes, gazing at the moon, were filled with pitiable sorrow.
Instead of wanting to go mad, her mind remained painfully clear.
“I don’t want to live like this again.”
As if even a moment of happiness was forbidden for Aristman, her reason itself became a blade, crushing her heart. Patrick would never know this dismal and dreadful feeling.
“Yes, never again.”
Aristman slowly closed her eyes. There was no longer a wish to make upon the moon.
“Like a flower in the greenhouse, helplessly nurtured and miserably withering away.”
Patrick had always been obsessively fixated on Arist’s safety. Now he seemed to understand the reason why. It wasn’t that others might harm her; it was that he couldn’t bear the thought of her realizing the truth and giving up on life. As a man who needed everything to go his way for his conscience to be at ease, even Arist’s life had to unfold according to his plans.
“Never again…”
There were no dangerous items in the empress’s quarters. There was no rope suitable for hanging. Looking back, Patrick had been meticulous in being affectionate, yet Arist’s will was stronger. She found death sweeter than enduring miserable days alive.
“Ah…”
Arist gazed at the portrait of Patrick and herself hanging on the wall. In the portrait painted just after their wedding, she appeared happy. But that happiness was also a lie. Arist stood up and took the frame off the wall. When she tore the cloth covering the back of the frame, only a bundle of rags came out.
“I didn’t hide this for nothing.”
The Emperor had forced Arist to engage in intimate activities to an almost obsessive degree. Looking back, he also had a tendency to control and dominate everything. Even when she was told that not even a single piece of jewelry was allowed, Arist had secretly brought this jewel. It was that precious to her.
“But… it’s a good thing I brought it.”
Inside the bundle was a blue gem that resembled Arist’s eyes. Unlike other gems, this one remained uncut, with edges as sharp as a dagger.
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t find happiness…”
The one thing that troubled Arist’s heart was her grandmother, who had been the only one to love her and pass down this stone. She had been a kind woman who had put young Arist to bed and told her fantastic tales about dragons.
“Arist, this is a dragon’s bloodstone. It’s the most mysterious stone in the world. It grants the wishes of its owner.”
That was a lie. Wishes like that had never been granted.
“Instead, you must keep it a secret. Don’t show it to anyone. And when you need it, wish for something very desperately.”
In a sense, it was the only item that could fulfill Arist’s wish now.
“In a world like this, I don’t want to live anymore.”
Arist closed her eyes. If she wasn’t afraid, it was a lie, but when she thought of Patrick’s face, her hesitation disappeared. As the sharp edge of the stone cut her throat like a dagger, too much blood flowed uncontrollably.
“…Goodbye.”
At thirty, Arist bid farewell to this world forever. The only thing she had done of her own will since birth was, in the end, death.
Though more beautiful and noble than anyone else, her life was truly sorrowful and miserable. In the end, Arist could be nothing and no one.
Death was darkness itself.
“If there are no wishes…”
A mysterious voice echoed from afar.
“Go back and find it.”
Before Arist could understand the meaning, the voice disappeared, and her consciousness blurred. She thought that was the end. It was a farewell to death and to this insane world.
…Or so she thought.
She hoped desperately for everything to end.
“Princess, are you awake?”
But Arist’s wish wasn’t granted this time either. The white silk decorations on the bed looked familiar. A fragrant scent tickled her nose, and, most importantly, her heart was still beating.
“Princess…?”
Arist reached out and touched her own neck. There was no wound in the spot where she had gruesomely cut herself. Then Arist saw Veronique, her chambermaid, looking at her with a worried expression, just as she remembered her from her childhood.
“Veronique…!”
Arist hugged Veronique without realizing it. Veronique looked surprised but soon smiled, seeming not to mind.
“Why are you acting like this, Princess, at nineteen?”
Arist’s throat tightened at the scent of the missed Veronique. They hadn’t met since after the wedding. Patrick had said that no one except Arist was allowed in the palace. Looking back, that was the beginning of the surveillance and control over Arist.
“Oh… Is the princess feeling unwell?”
Veronique looked at Arist in surprise. The beautiful princess’s face was stained with tears.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
Feeling Veronique’s warmth, Arist realized that this was reality. Surely Veronique had said she was nineteen. She could see flowers outside the wide-open window; it was summer now.
“Yeah… It was a terrible and sad dream.”
It didn’t matter if it was the light at the end of death. Veronique was the one who had embraced Arist more warmly than her own parents. Above all, in Arist’s nineteen summers, there was no Patrick but there was her beloved grandmother.
“But it’s still a dream.”
“It felt so real. Almost as if now feels more like a dream…”
Arist stopped herself from saying more. Who would believe her? But it wasn’t a dream. That despair was still vividly etched in Arist’s heart. No dream could be more terrifying than that. Even though the wounds on her throat had disappeared, her torn heart still ached.
“Don’t show tears in the morning.”
Veronique took out a handkerchief to wipe Arist’s tears.
In an instant, the touch felt like someone else, and Arist reflexively pushed the hand away.
“No!”
“Princess…?”
Even Arist looked surprised at how harshly she had pushed the hand away. The pain was evidence that this was reality. Veronique’s vivid gaze confirmed it.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m sorry, Veronique.”
“It’s okay. You must have had a really scary dream, right? But it’s not real, so don’t worry.”
Veronique wasn’t as cold as Patrick. She gently hugged Arist and comforted her until she felt reassured. After a while, Arist remembered the voice she heard in the darkness.
“Wish…”
If there are no wishes, go back and find it. Arist didn’t know if it meant going back in time, but if this was another chance at life…
“Isn’t the princess’s wish always to be the happiest woman in the world?”
“Yeah… that’s right…”
“To marry a wonderful man like His Majesty the Emperor and live a noble life forever.”
Consultations had started since Arist turned nineteen after her coming-of-age ceremony. Her parents had spared no effort to make her an empress. They even spread rumors that she was the most beautiful woman on the continent to make her known to everyone.
“No.”
If this was reality, she had to accept it quickly. If she didn’t want to live a life full of regrets, she had to face the future. Arist, who had already lived until she was thirty in her previous life, knew how futile wasted time could be.
“My wish… is not that.”
Veronique looked puzzled but didn’t say anything more.
“Wishes can change often. Since today is a full moon, why don’t you make a new wish?”
The full moon didn’t grant wishes. But Arist nodded slightly. She needed to know exactly when she had returned to this moment.
