The next day, Julia asked Melissa to run an errand for her. She wanted to send another letter.
This time, however, the letter was not headed to the Holy Kingdom but to the temple of Illion, where Mateus resided.
It was an action taken to solidify her resolve, to steady her wavering heart.
Julia knew she was being swayed by Fernan. Without realizing it, she had begun to get used to his changed demeanor, finding herself drawn to him more often.
So, she decided to start planning her escape for real.
Before she lost the will to flee entirely.
Originally, she had planned to escape on her own, using the last of her sacred power somehow.
But instinct told her that if she used any more of that power, her body wouldn’t be able to endure it.
Julia no longer intended to recklessly harm herself.
She wanted to live. To live happily, and for a long time.
But that wouldn’t happen by Fernan’s side.
Leaning against the window frame, Julia gazed out at the familiar landscape.
Fernan had changed. It was true that his warmth easily stirred her emotions.
But that warmth was fleeting.
She couldn’t rely on something so temporary and step back into a hellish past once more.
To erase the image of his face that had surfaced in her mind, Julia once again focused on the distant plains.
That evening, Melissa returned to the villa after sending off the letter.
Melissa informed Julia that the letter had been safely delivered to the temple.
“Thank you, Melissa.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. If there’s anything else you need me to do, just let me know.”
Melissa, who had answered kindly, averted her gaze for some reason. She looked somewhat uneasy.
“Did something happen?”
Julia tilted her head, puzzled. Melissa, startled, quickly shook her head.
“Oh, no, nothing happened. Don’t worry.”
“You don’t look well…”
Melissa forced a smile, as if trying to reassure her. But seeing Julia’s concern only seemed to make her more uncomfortable.
In truth, while sending the letter, Melissa had asked the courier again, just to be sure. She had asked about the situation in the Holy Kingdom.
And as expected, the answer came back that the kingdom was still embroiled in war with monsters.
‘Her Highness must be planning to return there…’
Melissa was suddenly filled with worry that something might happen to Julia if she left without knowing the full situation.
Moreover, the feeling that she was deceiving Julia had been bothering her all along.
As she fidgeted with her hands, Melissa finally spoke up.
“Your Highness… I have something I need to tell you.”
She realized she couldn’t keep lying to Julia any longer.
Whether good or bad, Julia had the right to know.
“…The letter you sent to the Holy Kingdom last time… I didn’t actually send it.”
At Melissa’s abrupt confession, Julia’s eyes widened in surprise.
“…Why?”
Melissa bit her lip and continued, watching Julia’s stunned reaction.
“The truth is, Your Highness, I heard there’s a war going on in the Holy Kingdom.”
Julia, still in shock, grew progressively paler.
“What do you mean… a war?”
“I heard from the courier that the war started last winter. They say monsters have invaded…”
Melissa cautiously explained, watching Julia’s complexion carefully. Julia stood frozen, clearly shaken.
“Winter…?”
Julia mumbled absentmindedly, bringing a hand to her lips. Winter—that would coincide with the time she arrived here.
In that moment, everything that had been bothering her began to rise in her mind.
The memory of how she came here, which was missing entirely.
Fernan’s insistence that she could go anywhere, except the Holy Kingdom.
Julia furrowed her brow as she thought hard, but her head pounded, preventing her from thinking any further.
“Your Highness, are you alright?”
Melissa quickly supported Julia’s arm, alarmed by how pale she had become.
But Julia could only stare blankly into space, unable to respond.
In that moment, she became certain of one thing: that her reason for being here was somehow tied to the war.
Julia lowered her hand from her lips and began to move. She was headed for Fernan’s study.
As she descended the stairs, her mind was in turmoil.
Why had he hidden the fact that the Holy Kingdom was at war?
And how had she lost her memory?
With trembling hands, she knocked on the study door. But there was no response from inside.
Turning away, Julia wandered around the villa in search of him.
Eventually, she headed toward his bedroom.
Her face drained of color, Julia raised her hand.
Just as she was about to knock, the door suddenly opened from the inside.
Fernan appeared in the doorway, looking startled.
“…Julia?”
He looked down at her in surprise, clearly not expecting her to be standing there.
It seemed he had just washed up, as his usually neat hair was slightly damp, resting against his forehead.
Julia hesitated for a moment before speaking.
“There’s something I need to ask you.”
“…Something to ask?”
Fernan murmured, still a little dazed, as he stepped aside to let her in.
At his silent invitation, Julia walked into the room.
The door clicked shut behind her, and a familiar scent enveloped her. It smelled like winter.
It was the cool, slightly cold fragrance that always lingered around Fernan.
Despite the situation, the scent helped calm her mind.
As she slowly clenched her hands, Fernan pulled out a chair from the table in the center of the room.
Once seated, Julia immediately asked, “Why… didn’t you tell me anything?”
Fernan, who had sat across from her, stared at her without saying a word. His golden eyes glimmered slightly, as if trying to gauge what she was asking.
Julia continued in a shaky voice, “I heard the Holy Kingdom is at war.”
“…”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
At that, Fernan’s gaze finally wavered slightly. After a long silence, he quietly asked, “Have you regained your memory?”
“…No.”
Her memories hadn’t returned. Every time something felt like it was about to come back, the pain in her head grew unbearable.
“But I can guess that my lost memories are related to the war.”
“…”
“So, please tell me what happened to me.”
Fernan briefly looked away, as if conflicted by her unwavering gaze.
He had refrained from explaining anything to Julia because he didn’t want to forcibly trigger her memories.
His lips pressed together tightly before he finally spoke slowly.
“I hoped you wouldn’t remember anything.”
“…Why?”
Fernan often recalled Julia’s cries, the way she had covered her ears and wept. He also remembered how she had trembled all night, screaming in terror.
He didn’t want to stir up memories that were so clearly traumatic for her.
He wasn’t sure which would cause her more pain, but he had thought it would be better for her to believe that he had brought her here against her will.
After all, he wasn’t entirely lying, given that he was still preventing her from leaving.
Julia, watching his silence, bit her lip and asked another question instead.
“What about the others? The people at the monastery…?”
Her heart pounded wildly again as she tried to keep calm.
Fernan answered after a brief hesitation, “Not everyone survived.”
Julia’s eyes flickered as she lowered her gaze. Not everyone survived…
“…Are you saying they died?”
Fernan nodded slightly at her vacant question.
Julia bit her lip, clenching her hands tightly.
The people she had spent a year with were gone, and she hadn’t known. She had spent the entire time peacefully, oblivious, accepting whatever Fernan provided her.
Seeing her in shock, unable to speak, Fernan continued.
“At least the children are all safe. And the woman who looked after them.”
At that, a glimmer of light returned to her tear-filled eyes.
“Are you… sure?”
Fernan gazed quietly at her tear-streaked lashes.
As a tear finally fell, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out.
“…Don’t cry.”
His hand gently wiped away the tears from her eyes.
For some time now, watching Julia cry had become unbearable for him. Perhaps it was because he remembered how she had cried because of him in the past.
“…I’ll let you meet them.”
The words came out before he could stop them. Even though he hadn’t wanted her to meet them.
He had feared that if Julia saw them, she might try to leave him again. But now, more than that fear, it was the sight of her tears that unsettled him.
