I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

 

Of course, there were knights around the castle, but Julia felt that if she could avoid Fernan’s eyes, she might somehow succeed.

Just as she was about to step away, she reached out to him, just in case.

She waved her hand cautiously in front of his face, but he did not open his eyes.

Before she could retract her hand, a firm hand grabbed her and pulled her sharply.

“…Ah!”

In an instant, she was in his arms and looked up. His half-opened golden eyes were staring intently at her.

The hand wrapped around her waist pulled her tightly towards him, making her sit still on his sturdy lap.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

His voice, somewhat husky, whispered in her ear. Julia tried to get up without answering, but his firm hand did not budge.

Fernan muttered as he lowered his head slightly.

“…Tomorrow, go out with me.”

With those words, he gently held the back of her head and made her lean into his chest. She could feel his heartbeat through their closely pressed bodies.

He then lowered his head slightly, burying his face in her shoulder.

And he said nothing more.

Julia tried to push him away quickly, but the large hand around her waist did not let go easily.

‘…Is he asleep?’

Looking at him with a puzzled expression, Julia eventually lowered her hand.

Even though their tightly pressed bodies were uncomfortable, she couldn’t change her position.

Sighing softly in resignation, Julia relaxed her tense body.

After staring blankly over his shoulder for a while, she slowly closed her eyes.

Perhaps it was the warmth emanating from him that made her eyes grow heavier.

At some point, leaning against his shoulder, Julia completely closed her eyes.

* * *

The next day, Julia was able to leave the castle for the first time in a long while.

Thanks to the persistent advice from the doctor that she needed to move her body a little.

Of course, she was being led by Fernan’s hand, but Julia was unusually compliant.

He led her to the back gate of the castle, towards the path that connected to the garden.

As they stepped outside, the soft sunlight made her dizzy for a moment.

Julia realized anew how long she had been confined inside.

The sound of their footsteps crunching on the snow led them to a glass greenhouse.

Entering inside, the first thing that caught her eye was a flower bed full of lily of the valley.

Julia’s gaze was momentarily captured by the white spread of flowers.

“Just as you mentioned, this place is now filled with those white flowers.”

At his quiet words, Julia blinked slowly.

She then remembered her words about filling the greenhouse only with lily of the valley.

It had been a long time since she had visited the greenhouse, and it was her first time seeing the flowers planted like this.

“If there’s anything else you want, feel free to do it.”

Fernan looked back at her. Although he was as calm as ever, there was a hint of anxiety in his demeanor.

“Yes, you can do anything you want.”

So, don’t try to leave my side anymore.

Julia could fully anticipate the unspoken words behind his statement.

Perhaps Fernan thought that giving her material things would satisfy her.

But what Julia wanted was different.

She wanted a life of love, both given and received, without being hurt or anxious.

And now, she was too exhausted to expect such love from Fernan.

‘If you want love from me, then yes, I can give it.’

That’s what he had said. That if she wanted love, he would willingly give it.

But Julia knew well. The love he spoke of and the love she desired were entirely different concepts.

There was a time when a single glance from him was enough.

A time when she believed he was her only hope.

Because she thought he was the only one who could protect her from this hellish life.

After all, he was her first love, and at the same time, the first family she had outside the shadow of the Marquis family.

Family… Yes, she had foolishly thought they could become a family.

With dimming eyes, Julia took a step forward.

She bent her knees and looked at the beautifully planted white flowers around a small fountain.

Plucking a petal, she did something she would never normally do.

Staring at the petal left in her hand, Julia spoke for the first time.

“I’ll stay by your side, Your Highness.”

She stood up and turned around. As she lifted her head, she met Fernan’s gaze directly.

His eyes wavered slightly as if he was surprised. But soon, his narrowed eyes seemed to be assessing if she was sincere.

It probably didn’t seem genuine yet. So, she planned to make him believe it from now on.

What Fernan wanted was for her to stay quietly in this place. So she would do as he wished and make him lower his guard.

“I won’t think about divorce anymore.”

She would no longer provoke him needlessly.

Once he believed her words and removed all surveillance, once he no longer paid her full attention, she would leave.

* * *

At a glance, it seemed as if everything had returned to normal.

Julia no longer stayed buried in her bed. She ate her meals on time, moved her body, and regained her health.

After that, Fernan no longer locked her in his bedroom. With a single word that she wouldn’t seek divorce, she was freed from confinement.

So, Julia could freely move around the castle again, but it didn’t mean the surveillance was gone.

There were still knights around her, and wherever she went in the castle, she was followed.

‘…She expected this, so it’s fine.’

Julia did nothing. She didn’t try to leave the castle or show any signs of wanting to go out.

Thus, seemingly peaceful days continued.

In the evening, Julia slowly headed to the dining room.

While she had always been forced to eat in her bedroom, she now naturally sat across from Fernan for meals.

“Good evening, Your Highness.”

Julia greeted him warmly, as she used to. Fernan, who had been seated first, quietly looked at her.

“Yes.”

The man, who had never responded to her greetings, now gave a brief reply.

And he watched her silently until she sat down, and only started eating after she picked up her utensils and took a bite.

Julia quietly continued her meal and glanced at him.

Fernan still seemed not to believe in her sincerity. But he didn’t particularly question or try to verify it.

Noticing her gaze, Fernan suddenly looked up at her. Julia averted her eyes slightly and spoke.

“Your Highness.”

Then she showed him her calm gaze again.

“Shall we go for a walk after dinner?”

“……”

“I want to walk with you.”

Her expression showed a hint of caution, nervous that she might sound artificial.

But perhaps that hint of nervousness slightly lowered Fernan’s guard, as his voice was gentler than usual.

“Yes, let’s go together.”

Julia felt a moment of unfamiliar emotion but simply nodded.

After finishing their meal, they left the dining room side by side and headed straight to the back gate.

The path, cleared of snow by the servants over several days, was neatly maintained.

When she first came here, the grand ducal castle’s garden couldn’t be described as well-maintained.

But ever since Julia had shown an interest in restoring the garden, they had tilled the land and built a greenhouse, creating a pleasing view.

In spring, the blooming flowers would make it even more beautiful.

‘By then, I won’t be here.’

With a subtle expression, Julia walked in silence.

Other than the sound of their footsteps, no words were exchanged between them.

She glanced at Fernan, but his face was obscured by the darkening surroundings from a short distance.

How long would it take to deceive this man completely and escape?

She wanted to leave before this winter ended.

Before too much time passed and her will to escape completely faded.

Lost in thought for a while, Julia impulsively grabbed his fingertip.

Feeling the touch of her hand, Fernan abruptly stopped.