Julia had not stepped out of the bedroom for weeks.
The surveillance around the castle had increased, and Fernan watched her every move daily.
He didn’t give her the slightest chance to escape.
Because of this, Julia’s will was quickly broken. She couldn’t find any opportunity to get out of this situation.
Thus, suffocating days continued to pass.
One afternoon, past noon, Julia was curled up quietly on the bed.
Resignation was written all over her eyes.
After a while, she heard someone opening the door. Julia closed her eyes and bowed her head.
There was only one person who would enter this bedroom.
“Julia.”
A low voice accompanied by footsteps approached. While Julia remained silent with her head buried in her knees, the bed beside her sagged.
Fernan, sitting beside her, reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. Even then, Julia didn’t lift her head.
Fernan quietly looked around the bedroom. The meal he had brought a few hours ago was untouched.
The books on the table and the neatly folded clothes were also left as they were.
Fernan, slightly furrowing his brow, spoke.
“At least eat something.”
“……”
“Do I have to force you to eat?”
Fernan continued to speak to Julia, who didn’t respond.
Hiding his impatience, he eventually grabbed her cheek and made her look at him.
Julia’s pale face finally turned toward him, but she didn’t meet his eyes, looking down instead.
Watching her long, lowered eyelashes, Fernan forcibly embraced her. Carrying her, he walked over and sat her in front of the table.
He ordered a servant to bring a new meal to replace the now-cold one.
While Fernan was dealing with the meal tray, Julia got up and started to return to the bed.
“Julia.”
When he grabbed her hand, she weakly shook him off. Her eyes looking back at him were empty.
As Fernan momentarily wore a dazed expression, the servant quickly returned with a new meal.
Coming to his senses, Fernan led Julia back to the table.
“Eat.”
When Julia turned her head away, he gently grabbed her delicate chin and turned her face toward him.
He picked up some food with the utensils and brought it to her lips. When she didn’t open her mouth, Fernan spoke in a calm voice.
“If you want to resist like this all day, go ahead.”
“……”
Only then did Julia look at him and move her lips for the first time.
“…I’ll eat by myself.”
At her small voice, Fernan’s expression softened slightly.
He held her hand and placed the utensils in it before sitting opposite her.
Julia glanced at Fernan as he sat firmly, clearly determined to stay until she finished her meal.
Eventually, Julia began to eat slowly, but with no appetite and feeling unwell, she couldn’t finish even half of it before putting the utensils down.
As she stood and walked back to the bed, Fernan quietly cleaned up the meal tray without another word.
Julia lay down on the bed slowly. The fact that this was Fernan’s bedroom no longer bothered her.
She just wanted to sleep like this.
But soon, she had to open her eyes again due to the hands lifting her up.
“Haven’t you slept enough already?”
Julia, without responding, tried to lie down again but was stopped once more.
Fernan, gently holding her shoulders, made her look into his eyes. But Julia averted her gaze, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Stop being stubborn.”
“……”
“This could all end with just one word from you, saying you’ll stay by my side.”
Julia finally looked at him. However, despite the time passing, she didn’t say anything.
In her eyes, firmly looking at him with her lips tightly sealed, was a determination not to say what he wanted to hear.
Fernan’s composed face gradually hardened.
As he stared at her tightly closed lips, he reached out and lifted her delicate chin.
Just as he was about to kiss her, he stopped right before their lips touched.
Julia didn’t react, neither accepting nor resisting, simply lowering her gaze.
“……”
After staring at her for a while, Fernan slowly lifted his head and let go of her face.
Julia watched him turn away, releasing her tightly clenched dress.
As she turned and closed her eyes tightly, Fernan did not speak to her again.
Julia erased all the thoughts swirling and shaking her mind.
* * *
After that day, Julia was constantly sick with a high fever. They said it was a feverish illness.
Although the physician visited several times and she took her medicine, she showed no signs of improvement.
Lying buried in the bed, Julia breathed heavily. She vaguely heard someone speaking.
“Her Majesty’s health has deteriorated more than before.”
“……”
“She needs to move her body, even if it’s just a light walk. And she needs to eat more. Most importantly… you must stop giving her mental stress.”
When she slightly opened her eyes, she saw Fernan silently listening to the physician’s firm words.
Closing her eyes again, Julia quickly fell asleep.
As Julia slept, the dusk rapidly darkened.
Time passed, and as the room was enveloped in the deep night, faint moonlight seeped in.
Fernan stood quietly beside the deeply sleeping Julia. His large hand touched her forehead.
The cool, pleasant sensation made Julia’s eyes relax slightly.
His hand, lingering to measure the fever, soon moved from her forehead to her cheek. The cold touch gradually cooled her feverish cheek.
A low voice fell over the sleeping Julia.
“Julia.”
Though she couldn’t possibly hear, he continued to murmur.
“Don’t think about leaving.”
“……”
“Even if you’re sick, be sick by my side.”
Fernan held her hand, neatly placed beside her. His large hand completely enveloped her delicate one, tightening his grip.
He knew it was his fault that Julia was so ill.
He had confined her, preventing her from going anywhere, which must have been a severe strain on her already weak body.
However, he didn’t know any other way to keep her with him.
He increasingly felt uncertain about everything.
The feelings he always had when he saw Julia were now twisted and distorted as she kept trying to get away from him.
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he also wanted to keep her by his side, even if it meant hurting her.
If she would just stay quietly by his side, he could give her anything. He wanted to give her everything she desired.
But why did she keep trying to run away?
Why didn’t she look at him the way she used to?
The Julia who used to express her love with her eyes was no longer there. This realization twisted and provoked his heart. The more she tried to escape, the less he could let her go.
A look of uncertain anxiety was directed at the sleeping Julia.
Then, suddenly, she moved her hand in her sleep, gently holding his.
The faint touch shook his heart. He brushed the cold sweat off her forehead.
He wished she would never let go of his hand. He truly longed for her to stay within his reach forever.
* * *
Julia recovered from her long fever on a day when the long-absent snow began to fall gently.
In the still dark dawn, Julia felt her head was light for the first time in a long while as she got up.
Blinking blankly and turning her gaze, she saw a figure sitting upright on the sofa.
As expected, the face faintly illuminated by the moonlight was Fernan’s.
Julia looked at him quietly. He didn’t move, as if he had fallen asleep sitting like that.
Come to think of it, she had never seen Fernan asleep before.
His bed was hers, and Julia had been completely oblivious to her surroundings, so it was natural.
Feeling an incomprehensible emotion, Julia quietly got out of bed.
Even as she stepped on the floor and moved, Fernan didn’t wake up.
She approached him as quietly as possible. His closed eyelids didn’t move at all.
Watching his face closely, Julia glanced at the door.
Suddenly, she thought she might be able to escape now.
—
