I don’t know how, but somehow, today felt like the longest day of my life.
Even now, as the carriage rattled along the familiar path back to the duchy, my mind was still caught up in the events of the night.
The festival, Bella, Raynan’s unexpected laughter, and now…
His hand.
Still. Holding. Mine.
I swallowed.
It wasn’t as if he was gripping it tightly anymore.
After I’d tried to slip away earlier, he’d loosened his hold.
But… he hadn’t let go either.
Instead, he’d done something worse.
He’d gently patted my hand.
As if telling me it was okay.
As if saying, Don’t worry. Just stay like this.
As if he cared.
And that was dangerous.
Because the longer I sat here, the longer I let myself get used to the warmth of his touch, the more I started to forget.
Forget the contract.
Forget that this was all temporary.
Forget that, someday, I would have to let go.
I bit my lip, staring out the carriage window, watching the darkness rush by.
I needed to stop this.
I needed to remind myself what this really was.
And yet…
I squeezed his hand back.
Just once.
Just briefly.
Maybe he didn’t notice.
Or maybe he did.
Because for the rest of the ride, neither of us said a word.
And yet, neither of us let go.
****
Raynan held my hand all the way to my room.
He only let go when I opened the door. Feeling like I could finally breathe, I quickly ran inside.
I needed a moment to calm down. I thought I had finally gotten that chance, but I was wrong.
Raynan followed me in.
He looked like he had something to say, but instead of speaking, he just looked around the room.
It was as if he was trying to find a topic to talk about. Curious, I called out to him.
“Duke?”
“Hmm…”
He opened his mouth slightly, as if about to say something, but then gave up. Instead, he reached into his pocket and took something out.
“This is…”
My eyes widened when I saw the smooth, purple ribbon.
It was the same one I had hesitated to buy while picking out something for Edwin. He must have noticed me looking at it.
“I thought it would look good on you.”
As he spoke, Raynan stepped closer. His chest filled my vision.
Then, his cool fingers gently brushed through my hair, gathering it carefully as if he were about to tie it.
But his hands were clumsy.
Watching him struggle, I let out a small laugh, remembering the time he tried to take care of me.
“It’s my first time doing this. But I learn quickly, remember?”
“Yes. It just reminded me of something.”
Back then, I had been flustered. But looking back now, it had become a funny memory.
When else would I ever experience having a soaking wet towel placed on my forehead?
Raynan clicked his tongue softly as if things weren’t going the way he wanted.
A few strands of hair slipped out, making it clear that tying my hair properly would take a bit more time.
As he tried to fix it, his fingers brushed against the back of my neck and my ear.
It was just a light touch, but I couldn’t help but flinch.
“Did that hurt?”
“No… It’s not that.”
“This isn’t as easy as I thought.”
After a few more attempts, he finally managed to tie my hair.
But I could tell it wasn’t very secure—one good shake and it might come loose.
I looked up at him carefully.
Raynan was frowning slightly, clearly not satisfied with his work.
“I’m not used to this. But… it suits you.”
“Thank you.”
His eyes studied me for a while before softening with pride.
Even if the ribbon was tied awkwardly, he seemed happy that it stayed in place.
Feeling a little shy under his gaze, I reached up and touched the ribbon. The soft fabric wrapped gently around my fingers.
“Thank you. When did you buy it?”
“There’s always time if you make it.”
I liked the ribbon, but more than that, I was touched by his thoughtfulness.
Maybe that’s why… I couldn’t stop smiling.
