Chapter 5
“So you mean you want to impress the Duke?”
Thanks to Erin, who made a sound as if surprised, the eyes around her gathered together. I was perplexed by the attention of the people who pricked up their ears.
With a reddened face in surprise, I quickly took her to a corner. But Erin just stood there, dumbfounded and unwilling to move.
With so much effort, she was drenched in sweat when she managed to get to a place where people don’t pass.
“Then why do you ask what the Duke likes and dislikes? Don’t you want to look good?”
“Yes? I guess it is, isn’t it?”
Erin’s eyes, looking at my awkward face, became sharp for an instant. And just as I was about to ask her what was wrong, she was stumped with her usual smiling face.
“So, if you want to catch the Duke’s eyes…”
“I don’t need to be seen. I just want to make a good impression.”
To be precise, I want to make a good impression on Edwin, not me.
Erin, who has a keen ear for various rumors, must have known something. As soon as she stared at her mouth with her anxious face, Erin said with a twinkle in her eyes.
“I suppose I’d better be as visible as possible, huh?”
“Wouldn’t he rather hate it?”
I trembled as I recalled Raynan’s eyes that I had met for a moment. It was because I felt an unknown chill.
You’re trying to get noticed by him… Is that okay?
I feel like I’m about to be dragged away without anyone noticing.
I looked anxiously at Erin, and she narrowed her eyes.
“No. He kind of likes it, even if it looks that way. I heard that’s how Mr. Roman got up there.”
“Mr. Roman?”
When I heard the name of Raynan’s aide, Roman confidence rose sharply. He was the man who was the measure of success in the Duchy of Loerian.
Not much was known about Roman. Not even where he came from, his background, or how he met and became involved with Raynan.
One day, when he took over as Raynan’s assistant, a lot of distrust and rumors followed him.
It didn’t last long, because his work was so neat and perfect.
It was his fault that the work had not been done in a normal, gentlemanly manner, of course, and that he could not be trusted.
Ordinary people think so, but I don’t know if Raynan thinks so too. He didn’t seem to care much about who Roman was.
You said that Roman got that place by doing that in front of Raynon?
In an instant, the confidence that had risen fell to the floor again. No matter how good you thought it was, it didn’t seem like it.
“Everyone is doing this because they only see the Duke’s face and get scared. It’s the information I’ve worked hard to get, so You can’t go anywhere to talk about it.”
Erin’s face, speaking with a low voice, was so serious.
“I see. Thank you.”
I thought about how I might have been fooled by what I saw just a few moments ago…
I had a moment of reflection, but only a moment.
No, I’m not scared, and I meant it when I thought I hoped he wouldn’t come to see me again…
I have to keep trying to stay in his sight.
It was hard advice for me, as I wanted to avoid running into him as much as possible.
Erin, who couldn’t possibly know what I was thinking, just smiled, and she didn’t need to see my face to know that I was smiling back.
It was clear that I was not smiling, nor was I crying, but I was making a very distorted face.
*****
No, for Edwin’s sake, let’s just close our eyes and do it.
My conflicting feelings were battling it out. But contrary to what she was worried about, it went well with Raynan’s stinging eyes.
The key was how far my heart, startled by even one small gesture of his, could withstand.
I was still startled by Raynan’s slight movement, but at first I thought it was terrifying.
I remembered the day when I was worried that my heart might be beating like crazy and it might come out of my mouth.
It was the result of thinking about it for a few days.
Let’s wait on the road that Raynan might pass and block his way, very naturally.
I imagined the moment I met him over and over again in my head. So that I don’t panic in any situation.
“Good afternoon, Du-Duke.”
With that, I gave him a quick bow and turned to leave. But how scary it was for the brief moment I was in his way.
I felt like someone was going to appear out of nowhere and drag me off to some dark place.
Fortunately, that didn’t happen. After making a few encounters that pretended to be coincidences, I started visiting his office.
“Edwin has been very talkative these days. The pronunciation has also become clearer.”
Raynan’s hand, which had been busy moving at my words, stopped. He asked, raising his head slowly.
“Is that what your purpose was?”
“Yes. I thought you might be curious…”
He put down the pen he was holding and looked at me for a while. My body trembled for nothing at the persistent gaze that didn’t know the meaning.
I smiled, trying to forget the sudden rush of fear. Raynan looked at my smile and raised the corners of his lips slightly, but slightly.
When I saw his crooked lips, I suddenly realized.
I thought it was strange that not a single person tried to mediate between the awkward father and son, but maybe this is why.
His intimidation of grabbing people without saying a word was very burdensome for ordinary people.
As I was about to sink into the thought of whether it would be better for me to give up for a moment, I heard Raynan’s voice.
“Get out.”
“All right.”
As soon as Raynan’s words fell, I left his office. Breathing in the breath I had been holding back, I told myself.
“It was very natural. It is progressing slowly.”
It was Edwin who gave wings to my plans to stamp him.
Thanks to Edwin, who became more and more lovable as each day passed, the words that I could confidently say to Raynon increased.
“I like Renee the best. Does Renee like me too?”
“I’m going to marry Renee when I grow up.”
“Are you tired? You can take a break if you’re tired. I can play well by myself.”
“I’ll share the cake with Renee.”
The slurred tone of speech he had when we first met had disappeared. She thought it was a good thing that she didn’t give up on him, even for the sake of the child, speaking such pretty words in a cute voice.
Of course, no matter how Raynan was, he couldn’t help but be surprised by every word of Edwin, who looked like a child of his age, but on the other hand, was very considerate.
If possible, he will be touched, give affection, and…
I wish they could get along better.
My heart grew heavy when I thought of Edwin, who often had a gloomy face or looked at me while smiling.
If Edwin could get a little attached to Raynan, he’d be less insecure. Then he wouldn’t go on a rampage to kill people, and my future would be much more comfortable.
I shook my head in shock. Edwin is killing me. It was unimaginable now.
My future was bright enough. Of course, there were also signs that Raynan and Edwin’s relationship was going to develop for the better.
When I appeared in front of him, Raynan would listen to my story with a cold face. Sometimes he’d give me a questioning look to see if I wanted to know more.
It was clear that he was now interested and curious about Edwin.
When I first heard the information from Erin, I thought it was nonsense, but apparently it was pretty accurate.
“Renee.”
I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t hear anyone call out to me. I looked up, startled by the hand on my arm, and the other person looked even more startled.
“Cecil?”
“Good to meet you. If you’re not busy, I have something to say.”
“To me?”
She was pretty cynical, but I didn’t have time for that. Because she didn’t really have anything to do with her.
What does she have to say while holding me like this?
“Do you know what’s being said about you right now?”
“Me?”
“Everyone is talking about whether you want to die at the hands of the Duke.”
“Me?”
What kind of lightning bolt is this? Surprised, my voice rose. Cecil continued to speak as if she knew my reaction.
If that’s what you’re trying to do with the “Duke, you’re doing it all wrong, in the worst way possible.”
“Wo-worst?”
“Try to stay out of the Duke’s sight as much as possible, he hates being bothered.”
As if she had finished speaking, Cecil left without any regrets. The quiet hallway felt eerie today.
“Wha-what is it?”
Among the crossroads in completely different directions, where is the path I have chosen to go?
No, I’ve already left, and if it’s not this way, will I ever get back? And still be alive?
As the confusion grew, blood seemed to drain out of my body.
*****
Edwin’s nanny was a strange woman indeed.
Is there still someone who doesn’t know that it’s good for them not to wander around Raynan unnecessarily in the Duke’s house?
It was clear that at least Renee didn’t know about it. Her visits, which had begun to appear out of nowhere, were becoming less and less frequent.
Others would have sent it out like crazy, but strangely, it wasn’t easy for Renee.
It was as if he was being held back, and her expression and hand gestures were hectic, as if she were trying to tell me something.
Without realizing it, I was obsessed with watching the tiny thing busily move around.
And then, just as quickly as she appeared, she’d be gone again.
The problem was that the stories she was telling were always very trivial and insignificant, and the bigger problem was that she talked about them as if they were really great things.
“It’s kind of weird.”
“Are you talking about Renee?”
Roman asked as if he had been waiting, how he had heard the small talk that came out of his mouth.
I looked at him wondering how he knew it again, and Roman answered with a natural-looking face.
“Renee the only one who’s been weird lately, isn’t she?”
“It is.”
If it looked weird to Roman, it must be pretty weird.
“Shall I put her away?”
“Leave it alone.”
He asked mechanically, but when he got an unexpected answer, Roman looked at Raynan with a surprised look.
“Why?”
“No, I think she looks pretty cute.”
Raynan burst into laughter at his words, whether teasing or sincere. And though it was still quite chilly, Roman smiled broadly, as if he was used to it.
“Isn’t this the first time you’ve seen Edwin follow someone like that?”
“Ah, that’s right. He’s pretty sensitive.”
Roman nodded, remembering Edwin’s who was sensitive and picky, nodded his head.
Renee was the only person he’d ever opened up to in such a short period of time.
Though she didn’t seem to realize it.
“He seems to like her more than me.”
“It would be much better than you, who only picks up cold words.”
“You are too perverting words of affection.”
Roman poured out his injustice in a dry voice. Raynan spoke briefly without looking at Roman.
“Let’s do a background check instead.”
“All right.”
Just then, there was a knock on the door. It sounded more hesitant than usual, and Raynan looked up.
“Looks like she’s here again.”
As soon as Roman was finished speaking, the servant with a puzzled face entered the office.
“Duke.”
“Tell him to come in.”
Before the servant could even speak, Raynan gave an answer. The servant, who was terrified of if he would get angry, quickly left the office.
“You can go out.”
He showed a meaningful smile when he talked to Roman, who was motivated to keep his place even if Renee came in.
Seeing his face, clearly thinking about something mean, Raynan shook his head without saying a word. That alone would have made Roman aware of his intentions.
As Roman began to walk away, the now-familiar pink-haired woman opened the door and stepped inside.
She was not alone today.
