But it didn’t take long for me to realize that my newfound motivation was nothing more than the reckless bravado of a novice.
“This time was pretty close. If you try just one more time, you might actually win.”
“No.”
I should’ve realized it sooner. No matter how many times I tried, I could never win.
Raynan’s promise to “go easy” on me didn’t mean he would let me win.
It meant he would stay just far enough ahead to keep things close while still beating me every single time.
No matter how fast I tried to go, it was obvious he would always edge me out by a hair’s breadth.
That much was clear after several fruitless attempts to test my luck.
Now my hips hurt, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, my arms hurt, my fingers hurt, my back hurt…
No, at this point, my whole body was in pain.
“Too bad. But who knows? Maybe tomorrow you’ll win,” Raynan said, his tone completely devoid of disappointment.
“I’m definitely going to be sore. I guarantee it,” I said, implying that I wouldn’t be able to continue tomorrow.
But he seemed to interpret it entirely differently.
“Shall we call it a day then? It is the first day, after all.”
I didn’t even have the energy to be upset at his condescending kindness.
Gathering what little strength I had left, I squeezed out a simple, “Thank you.”
I desperately wanted to go back and rest, but my body refused to cooperate.
As I stumbled and wobbled, Raynan quickly came over to support me.
Normally, I would’ve refused right away, but at that moment, I couldn’t have been more grateful.
Thanks to his help, it didn’t take long to reach my room. Without him, I might not have made it back until dinner.
“Ahh, my whole body hurts. I might not even be able to get up tomorrow…”
I didn’t have the strength to shower or even change my dusty clothes.
Unable to bring myself to collapse on the bed in this state, I finally settled for flopping onto the sofa.
Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, I heard the door open. I thought to check who it was, but sleep claimed me first.
“Renee? Are you just going to sleep like that? Come on, get up and at least wash up,” came Amelia’s voice.
“Amelia?”
I blinked and saw her surprised face come into view.
Fully awakened, I instinctively grabbed her hands and held them tightly.
“Keep teaching me. Please don’t abandon me,” I pleaded desperately.
She blinked in surprise, then laughed softly and patted my hands.
“I’ll teach you while you’re here. Once we’re back, I’ll take over your lessons again, so you don’t need to beg me like this.”
“…Really? You can’t go back on your word later.”
“Of course. Besides, the Duke is far too busy to make time for this regularly.”
“Thank goodness,” I sighed in relief.
I’d been worried that Raynan’s grueling lessons would continue indefinitely, but her reassurance melted my concerns away.
Unfortunately, the fatigue and muscle pain that replaced them were impossible to ignore.
“Still, if you’re clinging to me like this, it must mean the Duke was pretty lenient with you,” Amelia teased.
“Not at all. I barely made it back here. If the Duke hadn’t helped me, I might’ve collapsed and fallen asleep on the way.”
“The Duke helped you? Oh my! He must really care for you.”
“Care for me? He worked me to the bone!”
“Usually, people find strength out of nowhere when he suggests continuing the training. He’s not one to help someone along, you know.”
If Raynan had suggested continuing the training, I’d have dropped to the ground right there.
I couldn’t make sense of her standards, no matter how I thought about it.
For some reason, Amelia seemed excited, her voice gradually growing louder.
She must know the truth about this engagement. There was no way she didn’t, having come this far with us.
Even Chase had eventually figured it out, so it would be strange if someone as close as Amelia didn’t know.
Still, I couldn’t understand why she always spoke about Raynan and me as if she were clueless about the situation.
I didn’t feel like asking, and even if I did, I was sure she’d just tease me in response.
So I leaned back against the sofa instead.
“Go wash up. I’ll give you a massage afterward. You’ll feel much better.”
“I feel like not moving at all would make me feel better,” I replied.
“Don’t say that,” she chided.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, pushing me toward the bathroom to wash up.
Was it really okay to be this exhausted on the first morning of a vacation?
With Amelia’s urging, I dragged my trembling legs toward the bathroom.
*****
Just as Amelia had confidently promised, her massage significantly eased my pain, making my body feel noticeably lighter.
The debilitating soreness began to subside by that afternoon, and only then did the vacation truly begin.
When Raynan suggested visiting a nearby lake, I was honestly reluctant.
All I wanted was to do nothing and sleep, but Edwin seemed so excited that I ended up tagging along.
“Wow!”
Standing before the lake, Edwin and I exclaimed in unison.
“See? It was worth coming, wasn’t it?”
It was as if Raynan could read the reluctance I’d felt earlier. His voice brimmed with satisfaction.
“Yes. It really was worth it.”
The small lake nestled within the forest looked as if the surrounding trees were guarding it.
Sunlight fell gently, shimmering on the rippling water like scattered jewels.
“It’s so beautiful, truly.”
“Let’s get closer.”
Raynan gestured toward a wooden bridge that stretched out to the lake.
Edwin, full of excitement, dashed ahead while I followed behind at a more cautious pace.
At first, I walked at the same speed as Raynan, but my steps gradually slowed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing.”
Through the tiny gaps between the planks of the bridge, I could see the water below.
Even though the bridge looked sturdy, the lack of a railing kept drawing my attention.
Wouldn’t it be easy to fall off?
I wanted to hold onto Edwin’s hand tightly as he hopped along, but he was already at the end of the bridge.
“You look pale. Are you feeling unwell?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Just keep looking straight ahead. Don’t look down, and everything will be fine.
But even when I looked forward, the sight of the railing-less bridge was hard to ignore.
I can’t swim. What if I misstep and fall in? Someone would save me, right?
Amelia’s capable of everything, and Reynan…
No, Raynan would probably just have someone else do it rather than jump in himself.
It was then that someone grabbed my arm.
“Ahhh!”
Startled, I screamed loud enough to echo around us, drawing everyone’s attention.
“‘Ahhh’? Don’t you mean ‘Ahh’?”
Amelia’s laughter rang out from behind me. Chase, standing with Edwin, bit his lip to stifle his laughter.
“Are you sure you’re not feeling unwell?”
The one who grabbed my arm was Raynan. Unlike the others, he was the only one examining me seriously, not laughing.
Maybe it would’ve been less embarrassing if he had laughed along with them.
It was humiliating enough that I’d made such a strange noise, but his genuine concern just made it worse.
“You startled me by grabbing me so suddenly…”
I mumbled, my voice trailing off. Raynan continued studying me before asking another question.
“Are you scared?”
This time, I couldn’t bring myself to deny it.
“Then you probably won’t be able to ride the boat.”
“Boat?”
Raynan didn’t reply but pointed instead.
At the end of the bridge was a boat large enough to hold six people.
It swayed gently but looked sturdy enough to be safe.
“In that case, Edwin can ride it alone, and we’ll head back.”
Though he said this, I remained rooted in place, debating silently. Raynan waited patiently for my response.
I’m scared, but… I want to try.
Caught in indecision, I glanced at Edwin, who waved at me with a bright smile. That settled it.
“No, I think I can do it.”
“Are you sure? You might not even make it to the boat.”
Raynan chuckled faintly, his words half-teasing. It wasn’t entirely untrue, so I couldn’t deny it confidently.
“Even if I struggle to get there, the boat itself isn’t see-through, so I’ll be fine once I’m on it.”
“I don’t quite understand your logic, but are you certain?”
Raynan tilted his head, then asked again, studying me closely.
“Yes. I want to try. Who knows when I’ll get another chance?”
“Alright. Let’s go, then.”
“Yes.”
As I tried to take a step forward, Raynan suddenly extended his arm toward me.
Unsure of his intention, I looked at him. He averted his gaze slightly, clearing his throat a few times before pulling my hand through his arm.
“It’s easier if you have something to hold onto.”
Even as he said it, he avoided looking at me.
Was it just my imagination, or did he seem oddly embarrassed?
