I Was Just Trying To Raise Male Lead

Chapter 26

 

I fiddled with my fingers, trying to hide my nervousness.

 

“I’m not saying anything, buy…”

 

“Yes?”

 

His voice, which came out quieter than other times, was scattered in the air by the wind that just happened to blow in.

 

When I looked up, he spoke again, as if trying to explain something.

 

“She’s…”

 

“Duke, you’ll have to go quickly.”

 

This time, Raynan was unable to finish his sentence properly due to Roman’s urgent voice.

 

He looked at me for a moment and then started looking at Roman menacingly.

 

What is that look, Why am I still sitting here, blaming him?

 

Roman, who received Raynan’s gaze, looked at Raynan and me in turn with an unusually bewildered expression.

 

Also, It seemed like that was the case.

 

I just need to hold on for one more day. I brought up the story of his fiancee for no reason…

 

In an instant, I felt depressed. As I quietly lowered my head, Raynan stood up.

 

“We’ll talk about it later.”

 

Later? I looked up when I heard something that sounded like there was tomorrow for me too, but Raynan was already far away.

 

Instead, Roman was standing there, looking at me with meaningful eyes.

 

“Do you have anything to say?”

 

“Hmm….”

 

It seemed like it was. He touched his chin as if he was thinking for a moment and nodded.

 

“I’ll talk to you later.”

 

Roman also left the same words as Raynan and turned around.

 

It seemed like resentment flashed across his eyes for just a moment, but what was important to me anyway was my future.

 

It seemed like I wouldn’t be taken away right away.

 

What can we talk about later? I was thinking of leaving tomorrow night.

 

Fortunately, I have been safe so far.

 

I just need to survive for two days, today and tomorrow…

 

As expected, it would have been better to ask Catherine to give my salary a few days earlier. Wouldn’t it be better to leave today?

 

It was something I thought about several times. But the conclusion was the same.

 

It was better not to do anything pointless. There was a high chance of not getting caught if you behaved as usual as much as possible.

 

Moreover, I didn’t feel comfortable asking for a favor. It was much better to wait quietly than to move right away.

 

But even so, the nervousness did not lessen. Rather, as the day I decided to leave approached, my anxiety grew.

 

With heavy feet, I finally arrived at Edwin’s bedroom. As soon as I opened the door, Edwin came rushing in as if he had been waiting.

 

“Renee!”

 

Edwin, who was pulling my hand, could not hide his joy.

 

Even though they were together all day, Edwin felt bad about spending time apart these days.

 

“You came back early?”

 

“Huh?”

 

It was an ordinary question, but Edwin avoided my eyes for a moment.

 

“Young master Edwin?”

 

“I worked really hard because I wanted to see Renee quickly.”

 

“Good job.”

 

He replied, looking elsewhere, but my praise soon brought him back into eye contact. But he didn’t smile as brightly as he had the other times.

 

Instead, he hesitated and asked.

 

“Where have you been?”

 

These days, Edwin has become more interested in my daily life. In particular, he reacted to the point where it seemed like he was sensitive when I left my seat.

 

“I came to see the Duke.”

 

“I see.”

 

Edwin seemed a little discouraged by my answer. My heart ached for no reason when I saw his sudden appearance.

 

Even so, I was worried about leaving Edwin behind all the time, and every time I saw him like this, my worries couldn’t help but grow.

 

Ever since I thought about leaving Loerian, I’ve been worried about Edwin. The child has finally become brighter.

 

I knew that leaving Edwin without a word would hurt him, but I didn’t have the courage to stay.

 

Hopefully Raynan would get married and whoever she married would be a much stronger fence than me.

 

Now that I thought about it, I remembered that last time I was going to ask Edwin if he knew about the rumors about their marriage, but I forgot when I met Raynan.

 

“Young master Edwin.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Didn’t someone tell you a story about the Duke?”

 

“A story about your father?”

 

I stammered, unsure of what to say to Edwin, who looked at me with wide eyes.

 

“Hmm… The Duke will soon have a best friend?”

 

Edwin paused in thought at my question. He put his hand to his chin.

 

With a cute posture and a wry smile on his face, Edwin smiled and answered my question.

 

“No? Actually, no one talks about my father to me.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

It was something I couldn’t tell if it was fortunate or not. It seemed that my expression was also ambiguous. Edwin asked, tilting his head.

 

“Why? If you have any questions, you can ask Roman.”

 

“No. I’m just asking out of the blue.”

 

“Really?”

 

I nodded in understanding, but my body felt like it wanted to run out of the bedroom at any moment.

 

Asking Roman, and not anyone else. It was extremely uncomfortable in many ways.

 

“Oh, did you want to go to tea with the Duke today?”

 

“What? Why do you ask?”

 

“No, I just saw you looking a little disappointed earlier.”

 

The hasty question, meant to distract Edwin, worked surprisingly well.

 

Because of that, Edwin’s face, which had been lively for a while, turned into sadness again.

 

As I was taken aback by his unexpected reaction, Edwin smiled broadly and spoke energetically.

 

“I’ll come with you next time!”

 

“Sure. He said you could come with me once a month.”

 

I wanted their tea time to continue even without me. Even if it was slow, I hoped that they would grow closer little by little and become a good family.

 

“It’s a promise.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Edwin didn’t seem to want to end the promise with words. He didn’t let go of my hand for a long time after we laced our fingers.

 

I suddenly felt sad about letting go of the warmth of his small hands that I had become accustomed to.

 

“Young master Edwin.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I hope you always smile like this and have a good time.”

 

Edwin tilted his head at my unexpected words.

 

It seemed like a moment of sadness passed by, but it was such a short moment that there was no time to wonder.

 

“I hope the young master is happier than anyone else. As much as I like you.”

 

“Are you saying I’m your favorite?”

 

“Yes. I really like young master a lot.”

 

“I really like Renee too.”

 

Edwin pulled out the finger that seemed like he wouldn’t let go and drew a circle with both arms with all his might.

 

“I like you this much.”

 

“I like you this much too.”

 

Just like Edwin, I stretched out my arms as hard as I could and drew a circle. Edwin smiled brightly when he saw me like that.

 

Maybe that’s why I feel lonely at the end of that smile.

 

*****

 

It was a time that seemed to pass by very slowly. After all the anxiety and waiting, today has finally arrived.

 

A paycheck is always nice and satisfying, but this month was particularly special.

 

But the wait wasn’t over. When I thought that the only thing left to do was to leave, my body suddenly became tense.

 

Because I felt like I shouldn’t show it, all my actions seemed awkward.

 

As the sun began to set little by little, I felt a little more at ease as I realized that I didn’t have much time left to worry about what people were thinking.

 

Of course, the thought that it would soon be night made me nervous again.

 

At the end of such endless waiting, the night finally came when the darkness fell. And I realized that it was my mood that made it feel more quiet than other days.

 

“It’s no different from any other day.”

 

I said as I tried to comfort myself. If I didn’t, my heart would explode from tension and I felt like it would jump out of my body.

 

I looked around and walked carefully.

 

Unlike my worries about meeting someone, there wasn’t a single person that caught my eye.

 

It was worthwhile sneaking around at night for a while and watching people.

 

“It’s all about the time of day.”

 

Even while I was walking briskly, I couldn’t stop looking around.

 

I could barely catch my breath when I reached the old back door that workers usually use for dating.

 

Because it hadn’t been used for so long, many people didn’t know about it. It was a good thing she had remembered what Erin had once said.

 

An old door was visible through the tangled grass. She said that if you just gently lift that pull, you can open the door right away.

 

There isn’t much left now. If I had to cross that door, I would be leaving this place.

 

My head automatically turned back. The Loerian was right behind it, so wide and large that it was difficult to see at a glance.

 

When I woke up, a completely different life was waiting for me.

 

If you think about it, it may not have been a very enjoyable life. At first, I worked hard to survive, saying I had to save money.

 

Then, I became Edwin’s nanny, and contrary to the expectations that things would go well, I spent my daily life anxious, not knowing when I would die.

 

“But it wasn’t all bad…”

 

I thought Edwin would be cruel and scary, but he was the prettiest, sweetest kid I ever met.

 

The way Edwin followed me, saying he liked me, gave me a sense of satisfaction and happiness that I had never felt before.

 

Today, like any other day, I remembered Edwin’s face, who was sleeping soundly.

 

The hectic yet peaceful time I had with him was now over.

 

Above all, my biggest worry was that Edwin would be hurt after I left.

 

Edwin’s slurred pronunciation and his habit of paying attention to what he said were almost gone.

 

I wondered if he would revert back to his old self, or worse, if I would hurt him even more.

 

It was all because of Edwin that I wasn’t happy about today, which I had been waiting for with anxiety, and that I couldn’t walk easily even though I only had to cross the small door.

 

Then another face appeared. A man whose thoughts it’s difficult to tell.

 

He made people feel cold with his indifferent words or his smiling face…

 

“Renee.”

 

Raynan made me feel different from the name I had always heard.

 

Little by little, my heart began to beat. My face seemed to be heating up again.

 

It was clear that I was lost in memories and wasted too much time. Otherwise, why would I suddenly react like this?

 

Deciding that it was an instinctive signal telling me to move quickly, I made up my mind and walked towards the small door again.

 

It was really goodbye to this place.

 

Of course, I had to leave the Duke’s residence and walk for a while. What happened after that wouldn’t be easy, but it was still better than dying.

 

It was a time when the door was truly right in front of me. Someone suddenly appeared and blocked my path.

 

It took me a while to recognize the face because the person had it back to the moonlight. However, thanks to the familiar silhouette, it was not difficult to identify it.

 

The people who appeared before me were Raynan and Edwin.

 

No, why are you here at this hour? Two of them too?

 

Have you already read the letter I left for Edwin because I felt sorry for leaving without saying anything?

 

Above all, I confirmed that Edwin was soundly asleep, but there was no sign of sleep on his face at all.

 

Unlike me, who was too flustered to speak, they were looking at me with quite a calm face.

 

“Du-Duke? Young master Edwin?”

 

Their expressions didn’t change in response to my puzzled call.

 

Was it an illusion that appeared because I was thinking of them just a moment ago?

 

“It looks like you’re going out this late.”