I Was Just Trying To Raise Male Lead

Chapter 14

 

“I’ve prepared everything. You can just wash him right away.”

 

“Huh? okay.”

 

There was still a chance. Marvin decided to ask Renee again. Renee said she didn’t know what Roman meant, but he wouldn’t find out unless she said it out loud.

 

I didn’t know if I could figure out Roman’s thoughts by listening to the situation and atmosphere. He couldn’t miss his closest horse to Raynan.

 

“Renee, a little while ago Roman…”

 

As soon as Roman’s name came out, Renee’s face darkened. It looked so pathetic that Marvin paused without realizing it.

 

“Now I have to go see the Duke. Marvin, do you want to go? I just need to briefly tell you how Edwin has been…”

 

He almost nodded his head without realizing it when he saw her speaking so weakly. But Marvin soon came to his senses, walked away from her, and smiled awkwardly.

 

“It’s a bit… too much for me to go.”

 

“… I guess so, isn’t it?”

 

Even if Renee was pitiful, Marvin couldn’t do that for her. Meeting Raynan was scary for him.

 

At Marvin’s words, Renee just sighed repeatedly as if she knew that would happen.

 

“I’ll come back.”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Bye.”

 

It was only when the sight of her back, walking slower than before, disappeared that Marvin realized it again.

 

The fact that he once again forgot his purpose. And the time to ask again will never come.

 

*****

 

Roman’s words echoed in my head, and I wanted to avoid Raynan, at least for today.

 

I asked Marvin if he would go to see Raynan instead of me, but as expected, he just shook his head with a pale face.

 

I barely managed to walk without falling and arrived in front of Raynan’s office. The attendant, who was always there, opened the door without saying a word.

 

At some point, after reporting my arrival to Raynan, the waiting time disappeared.

 

Is this really evidence that I visited Raynan very often, as Roman said?

 

I entered the office with a distraught heart.

 

As always, the quiet and heavy atmosphere in the office was no longer as unfamiliar as before. I stopped the sigh that was about to escape out of habit and stood in front of Raynan’s desk.

 

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. Normally, I would have opened my mouth first.

 

But today I couldn’t open my mouth, so I only bit my dry lips. I was silent for a while, but Raynan did not urge me.

 

If you think about it, Raynan has always been the same.

 

Even when there was no contact at all, even when I thought I should make a mark on him, and even now when I doubt that I shouldn’t be noticed by him.

 

Even while making eye contact like this for a long time, there was not the slightest movement on Raynan’s face.

 

Am I observing him or is he observing me? A meaningless curiosity arose.

 

“Are you sick?”

 

It was Raynan who broke the silence. Is it because I was the one who came to see him, but I just stared at him for a long time?

 

My body stiffened at his words that sounded like concern.

 

“No.”

 

The voice that reached my ears was clearly mine, but it sounded unfamiliar, as if it belonged to someone else. It must have been because it was extremely stiff and awkward.

 

It sounded that way to my ears, so it couldn’t have been much different to Raynan.

 

When I answered that I wasn’t sick, he got up and came in front of me. I took a step back as he slowly approached.

 

As the distance narrowed ever so slightly, a cold sweat began to flow. Raynan, perhaps aware of my nervousness, just smiled leisurely.

 

It was immediately clear where his relaxedness came from.

 

My back hit the closed door. There was no longer any place to retreat.

 

When I stopped, he stopped too. I was grateful that he had stopped a respectable distance away.

 

“Why are you backing away?”

 

“Be-because you’re getting closer?”

 

“I see.”

 

To my answer, he unexpectedly nodded as if he fully understood. If you understand, I wish you would stay a little further away…

 

It seemed that my wishes and his thoughts were very different. Raynan actually came a little closer to me.

 

“So what are you going to do now?”

 

Raynan’s face was full of interest. The smile on his face looked exactly like Edwin’s before his prank.

 

Of course, he had a completely different vibe from the cute and lovely Edwin.

 

I could tell without looking that he was getting closer. Because his scent, which I had become accustomed to at the tip of my nose, became so thick that it made me dizzy.

 

It felt like the air density had increased to the point where I couldn’t even breathe properly. My body felt heavy, so I quickly put my hands behind my back without realizing it.

 

It was an unconscious action, but he seemed to understand why I was doing it. His arm seemed to wrap around my body and then landed on my hand.

 

When a large, strong hand touched me, I unconsciously let go of the door handle I had been holding on to.

 

No, I was trying to let go. But I couldn’t because he was holding my hand tightly.

 

“Why… Why are you like this?”

 

“Why do you keep running away?”

 

Does he want to chase me because I’m running away? Are you treating me like prey?

 

The faint feeling of anger quickly disappeared.

 

Raynan’s eyes were full of laughter. That showed very well how satisfied he was right now.

 

Is there anything that can give him that level of satisfaction?

 

I guess it was good. What I wanted right now was for you to quickly let go and move away from me a little.

 

Fortunately, the warmth that covered my hand slowly disappeared. Only after his last finger swept across the back of my hand did I quickly take my hand off the handle.

 

Raynan slowly lowered his eyes to see the sight and took two steps back with a faint smile as if he had done well.

 

The moment I let out the breath I had been holding, Raynan asked.

 

“So you’re not sick anywhere?”

 

“Yes. I’m not sick.”

 

“It’s not okay for you to get sick while taking care of Edwin. It would be better to call your doctor.”

 

“No! I’m not sick at all!”

 

I wanted to get away quickly, so I actively threw up my hands.

 

I also proved my health by twirling my arms and standing up and sitting down repeatedly.

 

Raynan, who was watching me move with his head slightly tilted, let out a small laugh.

 

You know how to laugh like this.

 

The unexpectedly refreshing laughter made him seem like a completely different person. Of course, for a very, very, very, very short period of time.

 

“Then, let’s go and see the flowers that Edwin will take extra care of.”

 

“Yes? Yes…”

 

As soon as I could speak, I stepped aside to avoid Raynan approaching again. He smiled as if he knew that would happen and opened the door.

 

As I was looking up at him in confusion, Raynan pointed the hand that was not holding the door towards the outside.

 

I thought it looked like an escort, but I quickly put it away. Because Raynan’s face twitched slightly.

 

It was a sign that he would soon make some kind of move.

 

As I quickly left his office, Raynan also started walking next to me.

 

“Chase is a skilled gardener.”

 

“Yes. Despite his appearance, he’s delicate, takes good care of plants, and gets along well with Edwin.”

 

“Really?”

 

Raynan frowned slightly, though she couldn’t see where saying he was good with Edwin was supposed to be offensive.

 

Did I make some mistake? Even though I thought about what I said again, I couldn’t figure out anything.

 

“You seem to like Chase.”

 

“Yes? I don’t think it’s a matter of whether you like it or not…”

 

“Why?”

 

“He doesn’t work with me, and I don’t really like him or see him that much…”

 

I couldn’t figure out what he was trying to ask.

 

I felt like the unbearable pressure of silence would continue if I didn’t say anything, so I spit out whatever came to mind.

 

Although it was gibberish, Raynan turned his head with an unexpectedly satisfied expression.

 

I couldn’t figure out what else I’d just said that would have pleased him. Was it just my imagination?

 

I had no clue of what he was thinking.

 

“But Duke?”

 

“What?”

 

Raynan stopped walking and answered my call. I was intimidated by the feeling that I had to ask something big, so I opened my mouth with difficulty.

 

“Did I tell you that Edwin will take care of the flowers?”

 

Raynan’s mouth tightened at my question. I shook my head as he stood frozen with his mouth shut.

 

“I’ve seen you planting flowers before, and I’ve heard how you came to plant them.”

 

“I thought you said it was a flower that needed extra care…”

 

“I said it was a flower that Edwin took care of?”

 

Did I? No, I remembered thinking that “extra care” didn’t sound right.

 

“I guess you have a bad memory.”

 

Raynan spoke clearly and placed his hand on my back. His push wasn’t strong, but it was enough to make me walk faster.

 

Since the situation was like that earlier, I may have remembered it incorrectly. I still felt a little uncomfortable, but I decided to think about it that way for now.

 

What was more important than that right now was Raynan’s hand that never left my back.

 

When we arrived at the garden, Raynan was still pushing me.

 

To be precise, he just put his hand on my back, but from my perspective, it was no different from pushing.

 

No matter how fast I walked, his hand never dropped. His hand never faltered at any speed.

 

I tried to walk as if I was running and turned in different directions, but in the end, I was the one who got tired of his hands sticking together and not letting go.

 

Even though I was tired, it didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous. My steps were stiff the whole time. That tension wasn’t just because of Raynan’s hand.

 

It was also because I could feel Raynan’s persistent gaze right next to me.

 

I wondered why he was looking at me like this, but I didn’t want to ask, and I didn’t want to turn my head towards him.

 

I just looked ahead and walked towards that place, remembering what kind of flower Edwin ended up taking care of.

 

Is it because I’m too nervous? My hands and feet, which had been moving awkwardly, ended up getting twisted.

 

It was when I tripped over my own feet and stumbled. The hand that wasn’t about to leave my back gently moved down and wrapped around my waist.

 

Thanks to this, I quickly gained my balance and tried to step back. But Raynan instead used his strength to pull me towards him.

 

“Duke?”

 

“Yes.”

 

I called out to him to let me go, but Raynan only answered steadily and did not loosen his grip.

 

Then, at a distance so close that I thought I could feel his or my heart beating, my breathing suddenly stopped.

 

It was quite a strange feeling to see my face filled with Raynan’s violet eyes.

 

Just when I was wondering if my eyes were filled with him this much, Raynan smiled slightly.

 

When his smile touched my face, the breath I had been holding burst out. It felt like the still air was starting to move.

 

His and my breath mixed in the air.

 

As I was looking at Raynan blankly, as if possessed by something, he slowly raised his hand. That was when his hand was about to touch my face.