I didn’t like bending to others to that extent. I wanted to create a tough and impenetrable image so that no one would underestimate me.
The reason I wanted to be praised as the flower of the social scene wasn’t some pure desire to be a woman who suits Ares, but solely for my self-esteem. That’s why I desperately hid the fact that I fell for Ares at first sight.
Now that I think there isn’t much time left to live, I feel impatient, wondering if my pride, which I clung to so much, was really that important. There might have been something more valuable in this world that I missed. But what’s done is done. It’s overwhelming to think about how to spend the remaining time. So, I’ve decided not to hesitate for trivial reasons anymore.
I smiled at Ares, facing him. Like his refreshing answer, it felt right for me to stand by his side. We had truly become lovers.
“I can say this now: you look really beautiful in a dress, Bianca.”
He said it with a thoughtful look, as if recalling something. It might be a compliment that was nothing special to me, but it was much more satisfying than usual because Ares said it.
Well, the figure in the dress is the result of my efforts!
“Haha, thank you. You’ll see it a lot from now on, but later, you’ll probably get bored.”
I answered calmly, not revealing my excitement too much.
“Well, I’ve been seeing your dresses for three years now, but I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of them.”
Seriously, I should give more commission to Mrs. Nix. Almost all my dresses are ordered from her. Ares was a man who knew how to make the other person feel good in a very polite way.
During the lively conversation with Ares, where we exchanged smiles and shared stories, I noticed Leia standing up from her seat with her handbag. Sensing a sense of urgency, I discreetly looked at her.
Ares, who was conversing with me, also followed my gaze.
“….”
Lea, realizing that we were looking at her from a distance, slightly bowed her head in greeting and then swiftly left the salon.
I watched Lea leave the salon until the very end.
Did she leave in a hurry because she found it difficult to hide her true feelings? As far as I knew, Leia was overly pure, and it seemed unlikely for her to conceal her inner thoughts in a cunning way like me.
At that moment, Ares’s voice brought my attention back.
“Bianca, do you have any plans for this weekend?”
He looked at Metis, subtly took my hand, and asked. Following Metis’s cue, I also looked at him and whispered my response.
“Nothing special.”
“Then….”
Ares hesitated for a moment and then asked with a gentle smile.
“How about going to see a play together? The playwright sponsored by our family is premiering a new work.”
Oh, this time, he’s the one asking for a date!
Well, my answer is already decided. I don’t have time to play push and pull, so I should accept this quickly.
“Sure.”
“The play starts in the afternoon, so I’ll pick you up around that time. We can have a meal after watching the play.”
Ares smiled charmingly, and it seemed like a sparkle came from his golden-brown eyes.
Ah, the plan seems to be working well.
Speaking of the play, honestly, I enjoyed watching ballet more than plays. To appreciate anything, you need some background knowledge to enjoy it fully, and despite taking dance lessons, perhaps due to that, I found plays a bit challenging compared to ballet.
But since Ares recommended it for a change, it might be good to study a bit about plays on this occasion. When in doubt, you can always turn to books!
Before leaving Metis’s salon, I had a brief private meeting with her.
“Metis, it seems like I might not visit the salon for a while.”
“Hmm? Why?”
“If I happen to run into Lea here, it seems like situations I’d rather avoid will keep happening. I felt really awkward earlier when she started gossiping about my relationship without my consent.”
Metis sighed and rubbed her forehead.
“Again? Anyway, it seems like a warning won’t be enough.”
“She knows about Ares’ feelings for her, and seeing her face is uncomfortable. Anyway, don’t worry too much if I don’t show up often.”
“Got it.”
I gave Metis a light hug and exchanged greetings. Ares waited a bit in the distance until I finished the conversation, then we left the salon together.
Usually, when I went out to the bustling streets, I would use public carriages. Since Ares and I coincidentally met on the street, neither of us had brought carriages with us.
We naturally walked to the public carriage station. During the walk, there wasn’t much conversation, but it didn’t feel particularly awkward.
However, Ares seemed to have a slightly different perspective.
“Bianca.”
His face was somewhat serious.
Why is that? I waited with a slightly puzzled feeling for him to continue.
“I take you much more seriously than you think.”
“…”
He mentioned ‘my thoughts.’ From Ares’ perspective, my feelings seemed quite light.
But he would never know. Is there anything more serious and weighty than the resolve to love without regrets in the face of death? A wry smile formed within me, but I didn’t show it outwardly.
I hope that when our relationship reaches its inevitable end, he won’t feel too sorry for me. Because his falling in love with Lea is the inevitable ‘pillar’ of the novel’s plot, according to the ‘author’s’ design. So, even if he speaks as if my feelings aren’t serious, I have no desire to refute him.
Regardless, Ares continued speaking.
“I know you don’t tell me everything, but I wish you would rely on me more.”
“There wasn’t anything special to rely on today. But if you need help, I’ll gladly lean on you.”
“I hope you will share when you’re feeling down instead of keeping it to yourself.”
I chose to remain silent.
What would happen if I poured out my feelings to him every time I felt down? Being treated like a child who can’t handle their emotions alone was out of the question. That kind of behavior might suit Lea Saturanos.
“I don’t feel the need to throw a tantrum at you.”
My voice involuntarily became stern. Ares calmly spoke to me.
“I absolutely don’t perceive that as a tantrum.”
“Even if it’s just a couple of times, wouldn’t you get tired if I kept pouring out my emotions to you?”
I chuckled and nodded. I can guarantee that if I spill everything about how I felt today because of Lea, Ares will probably get tired of me and leave.
Ares hesitated for a moment and carefully chose his words.
“Yeah. I don’t mean for you to tell me everything, but when it’s really tough, I hope you will do that.”
“…”
He smiled weakly.
“I know I’m not particularly needed by you, but still, I hope I can be of some help.”
Ah, I had a sense of why he brought up this conversation. I gently grabbed Ares’ hand.
“I’m not that strong, Ares. We talked about it at the wine bar, remember? The appearance I show on the outside and my actual inner self are quite different.”
And looking earnestly into Ares’ eyes, I said,
“Even if you don’t do anything special, I’ve already received a lot of help from you. Just being here by my side is enough support for me.”
He looked at me with a worried expression.
Hmm, it seems like that wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
“I like you much more than you think. As you said, I’ll try to share my feelings a bit more from now on.”
Only then did Ares show me a relaxed smile.
So this is how it feels. Being in a relationship.
Both for me and Ares, this is our first love. This means there will likely be more trials and errors in the future. Since it’s our first love, it’s inevitable that there won’t be any mistakes. The crucial thing is how we handle them.
If we trust each other, we’ll easily overcome these problems. However, if that trust is lacking, even small issues can escalate, leading to an eventual separation.
I know Ares is a good person, and I believe he loves me now. If I hadn’t believed that from the start, we wouldn’t have started this love so late in life.
I pretended not to know and casually leaned against Ares’s arm as we boarded the public carriage that had just arrived.
Ah, he definitely asked me to rely on him when things were tough just a while ago. Since I promised to do that more often, I’m simply putting those words into practice!
He chuckled, gently removed his arm, and wrapped it around my shoulders. I could lean more comfortably against his shoulder.
I want to express my feelings for Ares without hiding anything.
For me, there’s no time for the push and pull—the greatest pleasure of starting a relationship. I don’t know when and where the crucial ‘pillar’ of the novel will appear, and I don’t know when my last moment will come.
The carriage arrived at the Marquess’s residence, and Ares rode back to the Duke’s estate.
I thought about inviting him in for a drink before he left, but it seemed a bit challenging since I hadn’t yet informed my parents about our relationship. I decided to let him go without suggesting it.
However, I didn’t need to tell my parents directly. It seemed like the news had already spread. Mother, who had attended Lady Tifatí’s tea party, had apparently questioned me about the matter during the evening meal.
“I heard some tremendous news, Bianca!”
Ah, I understood how heartbreaking it must be to hear your only daughter’s news from someone else’s mouth.
“I’m sorry. I was planning to tell you today, but I didn’t expect you to find out first.”
Father added a remark with a discerning look.
“Since when?”
“Since yesterday.”
“Hmm, it’s not that long ago.”
Rather than the fact that I hadn’t spoken, my parents seemed more surprised at how the rumor had spread so quickly.
In truth, I was equally surprised. It’s fascinating how quickly rumors circulate.
And the fact that Ares Stanley was my first lover helped the two of them come to terms with it faster.
This is why, for someone like me, a noble young lady, external appearances do matter. Besides, I was not particularly eager to engage in a relationship that my parents opposed, given my novice status in love.
Heading up to my room, I lay in bed, idly grabbing one of the many romance novels piled on my desk, and started reading until I fell asleep. In the past, I bought a bunch of books at the bookstore, intending to find out when I would die, but I still hadn’t read more than half of them.
Reading the novel without any particular thoughts, I coincidentally reached a scene where the protagonists in the story went on a date while watching a play.
Oh! This is a checkpoint!
The only thing I learned about dating was either Metis arguing with the eternal Hermes or stuff I learned through reading. However, back then, it was just forced knowledge for the sake of cultural understanding, and it didn’t stick in my mind. The situation is quite different now.
I decided to sit up in bed, correcting my posture as if I were about to take notes, and began to read more attentively.
