However, an even more surprising thing happened.
I don’t know how Ares Stanley interpreted the reason for my hesitation, but he seemed to be coming into the creek water without caring that his clothes would get wet!
With one hand holding the hat and the other hand holding up the skirt, he approached me and extended his hand.
“Give me the hat, and take my hand.”
I stood there with probably the dumbest expression on my face, followed his instructions by handing him the hat, and took his hand. Perhaps he was worried that I might slip and fall, as his hand exerted a slight pressure.
Once almost completely out of the water, I let go of his hand. I was truly embarrassed to the point of wanting to die, but anyway, I should maintain some dignity until the end…
Oh well, what’s the use of keeping up appearances when everything has already fallen apart! Still, let’s at least express some gratitude. Ugh!
“Thank you.”
Then Ares, with a reddened face, took out a handkerchief from his pocket.
“It’s better to wipe yourself with this.”
I quickly took the handkerchief and hurriedly wiped off the moisture from my legs. Good grief, in that short time, my skin had turned a bluish colour. Well, the water was as cold as ice, so it was only natural.
But while I could just wipe off the moisture, Ares, who had come into the water fully clothed to hold me, was completely soaked. It would be quite cold if he couldn’t dry it.
Whether he noticed my worried gaze or not, he smiled gently and said,
“This should be fine. The weather is nice, so it should dry quickly.”
“Yes…”
Sigh. I’ve experienced the most embarrassing moment of my life in front of Ares.
I quickly moved in the direction where my drawing tools were to leave the spot.
“Oh, you were drawing.”
He had approached me without my noticing. Trying to conceal my sketch, I hastily replied, “Yes.”
He came behind me, and I started tidying up the drawing tools with busy hands. Then Ares’s voice came from behind.
“Ah… Are you planning to leave?”
“Yes.”
Oh, I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I thought no one was around, so I lifted my skirt like that and went into the water!
Even though I’m called the flower of society, I’m just an ordinary woman who wants to show only pretty sides in front of the man I like! Regardless of being the flower of society, anyway, I am still a woman! Oh no, how embarrassing! He must have seen everything, even my thighs! Just like a maidservant!
I was preparing to escape, with my skirt all wrinkled and not properly straightened out, when Ares’s voice reached me again.
“…Am I that uncomfortable for you?”
I stopped my movements. His voice sounded somewhat hurt.
Only then did I quickly reconsider how my actions might have appeared to him. I was so embarrassed and focused on my own discomfort that I just wanted to get away quickly. However, from Ares’s perspective, he might have thought it was quite rude of me, as he tried to help, but I avoided eye contact and hurriedly tried to escape without expressing gratitude.
Sigh. How far have I fallen as a human being? Anyway, thinking that my actions must have been quite unpleasant for him, I decided to apologise politely.
Turning slowly, instead of looking directly into Ares’s eyes, I focused my gaze somewhere near his lips, slightly lowering my head as I apologised.
“I apologise if I made you uncomfortable. I thought no one was around and was behaving a bit awkwardly. I was surprised when you suddenly appeared. It wasn’t because I felt uncomfortable as you might think.”
This was a sincere apology.
Why would I feel uncomfortable around him? If only we could be together a little longer.
However, I was fated not to continue with him, and moreover, I was scheduled to die soon. I wanted to quietly maintain the life I had lived until now, without any connection with Ares. The closer I got to him, the more painful it would be to accept my predetermined death.
I don’t know how my words sounded to him. Whether he accepted my apology or not, he remained silent.
I lifted my head slowly, checking his expression. Was he very angry?
“Um… you seem quite upset. I’m really sorry.”
Could there be anything more miserable than the person you like coming to dislike you? Even if I were to die, I didn’t want to leave a bad impression on Ares.
He kept his mouth shut and stared at me for a while.
Sigh. He seems quite upset. How do I ease his anger? While pondering various thoughts in my mind, he slowly opened his mouth.
“If I caused you to be surprised, I should be the one apologizing. You seemed quite startled.”
“Oh, well… a bit…”
Hmm, is he not angry? Or is he angry but showing manners to save my face?
Anyway, whatever it is, I’ve apologized, and now I can leave this place!
However, Ares started speaking again, so I had to stay in that spot a little longer.
“Do you come here often?”
Translators: Stardust. Read on moonlight novels only
“Not often, but I come here occasionally.”
After hesitating for a moment, he added another comment.
“Being alone in the valley like this can be dangerous, so it would be better to have company next time.”
Come to think of it, Ares came alone too? Lea wasn’t with him. Where could she be right now?
Ares always accompanied Lea, so naturally, I asked him with a puzzled expression.
“What about Lady Lea? Didn’t she come with you?”
Ares couldn’t answer my question quickly and remained silent.
His expression seemed a bit odd…?
A strange silence lingered between us.
Did I make another mistake? Even after reflecting, I couldn’t find anything that might make the other person uncomfortable…
As I awkwardly rolled my eyes, Ares finally spoke.
“…Lea didn’t come with me today.”
“Oh, I see!”
I could have just said that; no need to startle people.
I opened my mouth again to say that I should be going, but Ares spoke first.
“Lea and I are just friends.”
“Yes, you mentioned that before.”
At the Marquis’s party and in the salon, Ares and Lea diligently clarified any misunderstandings about their relationship. Since I was the only one who knew that the two of them would eventually become lovers, it wasn’t entirely wrong to say they weren’t lovers yet.
However, due to knowing their fate in advance, I kept involuntarily tying Ares and Lea together. I, as the villainess, would unintentionally make their love as friends even stronger. Unfortunately, as the story progressed, it seemed I was becoming the villainess, who was destined to interfere with their relationship.
The reason ‘the author’ intentionally revealed to me that Leia Saturanos was the heroine might have been to see if I would adhere to her ‘villainess’ setting based on Lea’s feelings. Even though I declared that I wouldn’t become the villainess, she might have wanted to prove that I couldn’t resist her narrative and would succumb to the role she had set.
I admitted one thing: I couldn’t completely let go of the ‘feelings’ set by ‘the author.’ However, even if I couldn’t abandon these feelings, I wouldn’t become the villainess as intended by ‘the author.’ During the process of transforming into the villainess, there would undoubtedly be parts where my choices mattered, and in those moments, I was determined to prioritize the happiness of the two of them.
My heart felt bitter, as if it were freezing. But since I was a being destined to die soon and, at the same time, an essential ‘pillar’ of this novel, some things wouldn’t change. Life and death were not within my control; it was a matter of choice.
So, I would change what I could with my willpower. For the things beyond my control, I would gracefully accept them. My emotions and my death were in the realm beyond my reach.
I looked at Ares standing in front of me once again.
This man, more beautiful and gentle than anyone I know, would be the protagonist of this world even without me. I sincerely hope for happy days ahead with his lover on his path. Truly.
With a faint smile, I listened to Ares once again explain that he and Lea were just friends. Just call them friends; go ahead. Eventually, you’ll become lovers.
Even though I accepted his explanation for now, his expression still didn’t loosen up.
I really wanted to leave this place now.
“Well, then, I’ll be going. I feel a bit awkward standing here, not knowing what to do.”
Finally, I successfully managed to time my farewell!
I slightly bent my knees to say goodbye and tried to pass by him.
“…Is that the way your eyes usually look?”
I was taken aback.
My eyes? What does he mean suddenly…?
“Bianca, your gaze… it’s like…”
Ares spoke with a perplexed expression.
To understand his inner thoughts, I silently looked at him. He knows about my ‘gaze’?
Since meeting the ‘author,’ there has been a drastic change in my emotions lately, and now it seems to have reached Ares Stanley, whom I barely knew beyond recognizing his face.
I’m really terrible at acting, almost close to zero. Although the ability to maintain a poker face is necessary in social circles, now that I really need to hide a crucial secret, my expressions are being revealed like this.
I don’t know what to say in response. I can’t just tell him here, “Actually, this world is fictional, and I’m going to die soon.”
Fortunately, Ares doesn’t seem particularly interested in hearing my response.
I just went past him without looking back; the farewell had already been done. I ran away from the valley without a second thought.
His perplexed expression bothered me. It seemed like he wanted to say something more.
However, what could he possibly have to say to me? There was never any personal interaction between us. Not until Leia Saturanos appeared.
Of course, I knew his face and name. It’s only natural. If I were an existence that captivated the gazes of all immortals, he was an existence that made the hearts of all immortals flutter.
Until I learned that the object of my unrequited love was Lea Saturanos, I tirelessly tried to find reasons for why I fell for him. Was he handsome? Was he popular?
However, my feelings for him didn’t start because he was popular among others. I fell for him helplessly at first sight.
Now I understand the reason. I had no choice but to fall in love at first sight because the ‘author’ made it that way.
If the ‘author’ didn’t set it up like that and I could choose whether to love him or not with my free will, what would have happened?
If the ‘author’ had appeared before my debut in the social circles and said, “You will fall in love with Ares Stanley!” would I have loved him?
Who dares to manipulate my emotions so recklessly? Even if the ‘author’ sees me as nothing more than a side character, I don’t need to see myself in that way.
Regardless of what anyone says, I am undeniably alive, a person with willpower. At least, I don’t want to follow anyone’s instructions or settings, no matter who they are.
