“…Pardon?”
It was a response that came after several seconds—no, perhaps minutes—of silence. I doubted what I’d just heard over and over again, looking at him with confused eyes.
What did he just say?
Unlike me, who was flustered, Ian, the one who dropped the bombshell, remained as calm as ever.
So calm it was irritating.
“So, what you’re saying is…”
“It means I have feelings for you.”
“…”
“For you, Eloise.”
I was at a loss for words once again.
I stood there, mouth agape, as the cool early summer night breeze brushed against my cheek.
The chill felt oddly sharp. Or was it that my face was heating up?
‘Is he insane?’
I involuntarily took a sharp breath.
They say that when people are too bewildered, they lose the ability to speak. That was exactly my situation.
Ian’s words echoed in my mind.
Meanwhile, Ian, who had been staring at me all this time, took a step up the stairs, as calm as ever.
“I thought I should tell you.”
“…”
“And I thought you should know as well.”
His voice was unbelievably quiet, making his earlier confession seem out of place.
Then, as if leading someone in a daze, he guided me toward the main building, as if nothing had happened at all.
While I was seriously contemplating whether what I had just heard was real, Ian’s demeanor remained completely unaffected.
He didn’t say another word, and I, barely aware of how I was walking, followed him across the lobby.
We finally arrived at the second floor where the bedrooms were, and only then did Ian release my hand.
He politely bowed his head.
“Then, have a good night.”
❖ ❖ ❖
…Something is seriously wrong.
No, something is definitely very wrong.
This can’t be happening.
In the dead of night, I sat curled up like a ball on my bed, the lamp on the nightstand dimly glowing.
It had been hours past the time I should’ve fallen asleep, but I couldn’t sleep at all.
My head was filled with the image of Ian’s face from earlier.
“…It seems I’ve become greedy. In an improper way.”
“It means I have feelings for you. For you, Eloise.”
So, what you’re telling me is…
“I just got confessed to… by the male lead?”
And that male lead is none other than Ian Cloud?
“…This is insane.”
The world must have lost its mind for something like this to happen.
How could that Ian Cloud say such things to me of all people?
Before that, how could he even be capable of using words like desire or feelings?
This is a man who’s lived his entire life devoid of emotions.
The more I thought about it, the more confused I became.
But one thing was certain:
“If this continues, I’m doomed.”
This was a very serious matter.
At this point, I owed a heartfelt apology to the countless romance novel heroines I’d read about.
They weren’t the clueless characters I thought they were—they were just good, sensible people trying to cope with absurd situations.
Just think about it.
If you were in the world of Harry Potter and the wizard with the lightning bolt scar confessed his love and refused to attend Hogwarts because of it, wouldn’t you be worried about the entire wizarding world?
What’s more, Ian’s supposed partner is none other than the person I adore—Diana.
Ian Cloud is Diana Lawrence’s knight in shining armor, not mine!
‘I’ve read about him going through thick and thin with Diana countless times. Now, for him to say he likes me… it feels like I’m committing some kind of affair.’
“…I’ve become greedy. In an improper way, toward you.”
As the memory of the earlier scene resurfaced, my cheeks, which had barely cooled down, flushed hot once again.
With a trembling shoulder, I slapped my face.
‘No, get a grip!’
What are you going to do if you get swept away by that face? Now is not the time for this.
‘Diana will appear in a year. Things will change then. I just need to keep myself in check until then.’
Clenching my fist, I curled up on the bed once again.
But despite my resolve, sleep eluded me for the rest of the night.
❖ ❖ ❖
In the end, the method I came up with was to desperately avoid Ian.
We’ve lived in the same house for two years now, and aside from breakfast, we’ve never really crossed paths, so how hard could it be?
…Or so I thought, but I was sorely mistaken.
“Madam, today…”
“Today is so busy! I should spend the entire day rotting away in the office!”
“Good afternoon, if you have time for…”
“Oh dear! I’ve already had lunch, so I should take Vivi for a walk. Well then, I’ll be off.”
“Madam, since the weather is nice…”
“I need to clean! I’ve always wanted to personally clean my room. Vivi, bring me a broom!”
That’s right.
I had overlooked one thing.
The fact that, unlike the indifferent Ian of before, his attitude had now changed as much as the sky and the earth.
No matter how hard I tried to avoid him, Ian would appear in front of me as if by magic and start a conversation.
Thanks to that, I was getting better and better at coming up with excuses to flee the moment I saw his shadow appear.
It had now been a week since I started desperately avoiding him.
‘I must stay away from the dining hall today.’
I was just about to stealthily open the door to my bedroom, intending to hide in the office from early morning, when a familiar shadow loomed over me.
“We need to talk.”
“Gah!”
It was Ian, standing right in front of the door.
I swallowed a scream and gripped the doorknob tightly.
“I-I don’t have anything to say…”
“I do.”
Don’t!
Whatever it is, don’t say it!
My eyes shook violently.
“Th-The thing is, I just remembered that I have some urgent work to take care of this morning…”
“I’ve instructed Kyle to handle it.”
“Kyle?”
“Is there a problem with assigning work to a retainer?”
That’s not the point!
I quickly averted my gaze.
“Th-Then… how about going for a walk right now…”
“You can’t. The gardener is currently tearing up the garden.”
“What? A perfectly fine garden?”
When I asked in disbelief, Ian raised an eyebrow.
I know that look.
The ‘why do you think?’ look.
It seemed like this time, he had come with a firm resolve. He clearly had no intention of letting me go easily.
In the end, I sighed, raising my hands in surrender.
“Fine, let’s talk.”
At my half-defeated response, Ian raised an eyebrow.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“…” So, he was going to ask me directly like this?
His straightforward question, without any preamble, made my head spin for a moment.
But Ian didn’t stop there.
“I do have feelings for you, but I don’t intend to force anything because of that.”
“No…”
I tried to say something, but my words got stuck in my throat.
Stop bringing up feelings and reminding me of that night I want to forget!
This isn’t just a matter of feelings or force.
But it’s not like I can just tell him,
‘You belong to Diana, so forget these shallow feelings for me and prepare to welcome your true love.’
After a moment of serious thought, I finally spoke.
“…Um, Duke, are you familiar with the ‘suspension bridge effect’?”
He frowned.
He had a look like, ‘What nonsense are you spouting now?’
Even though he claims to like me, his expression when he looks at me hasn’t changed at all.
“Well, it’s a psychological phenomenon where people in extreme fear or tension confuse excitement with love and mistake the person they’re with for someone they have feelings for. You and I went through some dangerous situations together, right? Of course, I’m not saying your feelings are 100% because of that but…”
“What are you trying to say?”
It seemed he only wanted the conclusion, so I cut to the chase.
“Maybe you’re mistaken, Duke?”
After staring at me with a complicated expression for a moment, Ian’s face darkened.
Why now?
♧♧♧
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