“How could it be pointless to give a small gift in return when someone has taken the time and effort to prepare a gift for you?”
“……”
“It’s just about giving as much as you received.”
Ian doesn’t lack the ability to feel emotion or affection; he simply chooses not to.
There’s a significant difference between being unable to and choosing not to.
Although his actions stem from fragments of his past, it doesn’t change the fact that he hurt many people, including Diana, before realizing it himself. I just hoped he would come to terms with that a little sooner.
“To be honest, I can kind of understand why you act that way, Your Grace. Both His Majesty the Emperor and the Princess like you more than you think.”
“……”
“So, don’t try so hard to distance yourself from them.”
I glanced at the corner of the neatly placed handkerchief, where Ian’s initials were embroidered.
“And one day, if there was someone you hurt for no reason, there will also be someone who loves you for no reason.”
Someone very blindly, at that.
I thought of Diana, who had watched over him for more than ten years, all because she had fallen for Ian at first sight.
While Ian’s mother, the former empress, hurt him without reason, Diana was the one who cherished and cared for him without reason.
Her very existence would be a source of healing for Ian.
‘It’s a shame, though, that she’s too good for him…’
Clicking my tongue in frustration, I walked out of Madame Zed’s boutique.
“The decision is yours, Your Grace, but reaching out to the people who like you won’t make the world crumble.”
If it would, the world would have collapsed five hundred times by now.
Snorting, I pushed open the glass door and stepped outside.
Even though it was well past five o’clock, the sun still hung slanted in the sky.
I could feel Ian following me, one step behind.
After a few steps, I turned around with a smile. I stood in the sunlight, while he remained in the shade cast by the trees, so I couldn’t see his expression clearly.
But he was probably wearing his usual indifferent face, devoid of emotion.
“So, what I’m saying is, don’t just push people away without thinking. Whether it’s going to the South or picking out a birthday gift, once you make up your mind, it’s not that hard.”
“……”
“It certainly won’t hurt anyone.”
Your Majesty, I’ve done my best.
If he still refuses, I think it’s beyond my ability now. You should find someone else for the job.
“……”
At that moment, the shadow of the tree that had been cast over Ian suddenly wavered with a rustling sound.
His face, now visible, was too restless to be called expressionless, yet too calm to show any clear emotion.
“…Your Grace?”
People are supposed to respond when spoken to.
“Did you hear what I said?”
At my question, Ian snapped back to attention, furrowing his brow. This time, it seemed more like a reflexive reaction than a sign of discomfort.
“…I did. It’s just…”
“Just?”
At my prodding, he opened his mouth as if to speak but then closed it again and shook his head.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk; he simply couldn’t find the words.
“It’s nothing.”
Instead, he extended his hand.
“…We should head back. It’s been a long outing.”
I stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, then glanced up at him suspiciously.
Is he trying to change the subject because he’s at a disadvantage?
But despite my doubts, Ian kept his hand firmly extended, without any further reaction. Reluctantly, I took it.
“Yes, let’s go.”
At this point, I really had done everything I could. If he insisted on being stubborn… how would I explain this to the emperor? As I brooded over this, I failed to notice how weak Ian’s grip was on my hand.
❖ ❖ ❖
A few days later, Ian sent a letter to the emperor stating that he would accompany him on the trip to the South.
I won’t go into detail about how much the emperor praised me upon receiving that letter.
To sum it up, it was akin to the doting comments of an overzealous mother-in-law, like “I may have arranged this, but where did such a treasure like you come from?”
‘Really, he’s more sentimental than he looks.’
Somehow, the image I had from the original story of a mysterious emperor, both soft and charismatic, was becoming increasingly blurred.
Setting aside the emperor’s praise-filled letter, I turned my attention back to the pile of documents on my desk.
There was still a mountain of unsigned paperwork.
‘…It’s overwhelming every time I look at it.’
With Ian’s participation confirmed, the special trip to the imperial villa for the princess’s birthday was scheduled for three weeks later.
As a result, Ian and I would be away from the Grand Duke’s residence for a whole week, which meant I had double the work to handle beforehand.
Who said nobles just sit around doing nothing? Managing household affairs alone is enough to make my hair fall out.
The budget proposals submitted by each department of the Grand Duke’s estate in preparation for the upcoming summer were already piling up.
Staring at the documents helplessly, I wordlessly reached for Eloise’s secret notebook from the second drawer.
‘Well then, let’s do some sneaky cheating today too.’
As I opened the impressively thick notebook, about the size of my palm, I was once again struck by the sight of Eloise’s meticulous notes.
‘Really, she was so thorough.’
I remarked, marveling once again.
The more I read Eloise’s secret notebook, the more amazing it seemed.
At first, I thought it only contained information related to managing the estate’s finances, but upon closer inspection, I realized it also included small tips and basic guidelines for carrying out the duties of the Grand Duchess.
Sometimes, I wondered if I was truly Eloise’s successor.
‘Let’s see, which page had the explanation about the maid department…’
As I flipped through the pages, skimming over the several bookmarks sticking out of the book, my eyes landed on some unfamiliar writing, causing me to stop.
‘Huh? What’s this?’
Unlike the other neat writing, this one was faint, with signs that someone had tried to erase it.
‘What does this say…?’
It seemed like Eloise’s handwriting, but it was hard to be sure.
Squinting, I struggled to make out the letters.
The ink was smudged, but I could barely make out a few words.
[This book, to someone…]
I continued to slowly decipher the writing, tilting my head in confusion.
‘Was this a memo left for someone?’
Just as I reached for a magnifying glass to get a better look, someone knocked on the door of the office.
“My lady, a letter has arrived.”
“Yes, come in.”
Hearing Vivi’s voice outside, I set the magnifying glass down and quickly closed the book.
Vivi carefully opened the door and entered with a silver tray, on which lay a letter and a letter opener.
“There seem to be a lot of invitations these days.”
Since being invited to the tea party hosted by the Marchioness of Eckhart, I had been receiving letters from nobles in the capital, often inviting me to small social gatherings.
Despite not attending any further events, the invitations kept coming, which likely meant that either my impression in the Aria newspaper had been noteworthy, or the ladies I met at the Eckhart estate had been spreading favorable remarks about me.
“So, where is this one from?”
“It’s from the Duke of Roger.”
“The Duke of Roger?”
I raised an eyebrow in surprise but then quietly opened my mouth as a memory surfaced.
‘Now that I think about it, when we greeted each other at the Count of Olsen’s residence, he did mention wanting to host a meal.’
I thought it was just a polite remark made out of formality, but they actually followed through with an invitation.
“Hand it over.”
Receiving the tray from Vivi, I opened the envelope.
As expected, the letter stated how short our previous meeting was and expressed a desire to host a lunch at the duke’s residence the following Monday, if convenient. As I read the letter to the end, a sense of unease washed over me.
♧♧♧
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