It was a strange sensation.
Although I had regained consciousness, I couldn’t move at all. My eyelids felt as heavy as if they weighed a thousand pounds, and my body lacked any strength, as though submerged in deep water. Even my senses were hazy—I couldn’t tell exactly where I was lying.
However, the faint scent of Ian lingering at the tip of my nose, and the voice echoing in my ears, assured me that this was not a hallucination but reality.
How much time had passed? Had I truly returned safely to Eloise’s body? Or had something gone wrong along the way?
There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t even move a finger, let alone speak, which was maddening.
The only thing I could feel clearly was Ian’s firm grip on my hand.
“Eloise, please.”
That slightly cooler temperature I always liked, and the voice enveloping it—it was undoubtedly his voice, the one I loved.
Unlike usual, his voice was rough and cracked, with a trace of moisture seeping through.
‘Are you… crying, Ian?’
I couldn’t voice the question, so I asked it silently in my mind.
Was the mighty Duke of Ice crying in front of me?
‘Why are you crying, when I’m right here, you fool?’
I wanted to lift my heavy eyelids, meet his azure eyes, and brush his cheek softly with my hand, teasing him with a playful tone.
I wanted to tell him that I had left everything behind and come here solely to be with him. That he no longer needed to worry about losing me or be anxious. That I was now ready to be entirely his.
But I couldn’t say any of that, and that was the most frustrating part.
“…Didn’t you say you wouldn’t leave me?”
His voice, trembling ever so slightly, came from right beside me.
I wanted to grip his hand tightly in return.
“Was it because I failed to protect you? Were you disappointed in me? Is that why you really went back to your world?”
Of course not.
All I need is you.
The true world I belong to now is not there, but here—with you.
“If I had realized it a little sooner, if I had found a way for you to stay without needing to return…”
“…”
“Would you be smiling at me right now?”
A teardrop fell onto the back of my hand.
The warmth of it against my skin made it hard for me to breathe, as if someone had poured water down my throat.
I couldn’t utter a single word, but the heat rushing to my eyes and the flush spreading through my face were unmistakable.
“If that’s truly the case…”
“…”
“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. So please, please, at least open your eyes.”
“…”
“Eloise, I beg you…”
Had I ever seen Ian so earnestly desire something before?
The fact that the first desperate wish of his life was simply for me to open my eyes felt both unfamiliar and heartachingly tender.
I wanted to leap up right now, embrace him tightly, and confess my love.
“Please, eyes, just open.”
And then, it happened.
I felt a faint tension in the hand he was holding, as if my fingers were moving ever so slightly.
The next moment, as if by magic, my eyelids began to lift slowly.
Through the hazy vision, light filtered in, and I felt the tears pooling in my eyes trickle down my temples.
It was a familiar ceiling.
Our bedroom—Ian’s and mine.
And beneath it, the silhouette of someone I had dearly missed.
“…Eloise?”
Ian, who had been frozen in place, looked down at me in astonishment.
His azure eyes were damp with tears.
“Looks like you’ve cried a lot.”
Everything about him was a mess—not just his tear-streaked face but also his hair, usually combed neatly back, and his shirt, typically pristine and buttoned to the top.
As I silently took it all in, Ian, still frozen and staring blankly at me, showed a slight tremor in his expression.
“…Do you know who I am?”
“…”
“Do you recognize me?”
The end of his voice quivered faintly.
Seeing the unease and confusion in his wavering gaze, I could sense that he wasn’t entirely sure which “Eloise” I was.
The realization that he had wholeheartedly believed my words about coming from another world made me feel a lump in my throat.
I barely managed to move my lips, and in a voice cracked and hoarse, I called out to him.
“…Ian.”
A faint smile appeared on my lips.
“My love.”
“…”
“Why are you crying? It breaks my heart.”
The moment my feeble voice echoed, Ian’s frozen expression crumbled like a landslide.
His tear-streaked face twisted, and he bit down on his lips, burying his face in our clasped hands as his shoulders shook.
A small sob escaped him.
“I thought… I thought you wouldn’t wake up again.”
“…”
“The royal physician, the court healer—they all said there was nothing wrong with your body. But you wouldn’t wake up for so long. So…”
He clutched my hand tightly, as if afraid to lose me.
“I thought it was because I found you too late, because I couldn’t protect you. I thought you hated me… and went back.”
“That could never happen.”
I wanted to wrap my arms around his shoulders with all my might, but all I could manage was to squeeze his hand that held mine. It was frustrating.
His silvery hair, once soft like a cascade of silk, now seemed rough and unkempt. His hand, clasping mine, was pale and trembling.
Summoning all my strength, I managed to speak again.
“…I missed you. Aren’t you going to let me see your face?”
At last, he slowly lifted his head.
Seeing his tear-streaked face sent a pang through my chest, but at the same time, I felt a strange sense of joy.
It was because his love for me was so plainly visible in this moment.
It was clear that he longed for me just as much as I longed for him.
And only then did I notice that his hand, holding mine, was trembling uncontrollably.
When my gaze shifted to our joined hands, he flinched and tightened his grip even further.
“If I let go of your hand, I’m afraid you’ll disappear…”
“…Does this feel like a dream?”
“It doesn’t feel real.”
“…”
“I kept having the same dream every time I fell into a light sleep. You woke up, just like this, looking at me. But whenever I let go of your hand, you kept vanishing. I…”
He couldn’t finish his sentence, his body trembling pitifully.
It was the first time I had seen Ian Cloud so afraid of something.
“What an absolute fool.”
I could feel the tears threatening to rise in my own throat, but I forced them back down. Carefully, I reached out to stroke his cheek.
The warmth of his skin was vivid beneath my touch.
“It’s not a dream. I’m really here.”
“…”
“See? Everything is real—my voice, my warmth.”
At my words and smile, he finally nodded slowly, as though coming to terms with reality.
I managed to move my hand just enough to wipe away his tears with my thumb, smiling reassuringly.
“You thought it was a dream? Does that mean I’ve been asleep for a long time?”
“…It’s been two weeks.”
“Two weeks?”
That long?
It had only felt like half a day in that other world.
Apparently, quite a bit of time had passed here in the meantime.
Come to think of it, the aches and pains from being kidnapped and thrown around earlier were completely gone.
Realizing that made me understand, faintly but deeply, why Ian had been so desperate to call out to me.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t realize it had been so long.”
“No.”
His voice, though still thick with emotion, was firm as he shook his head.
The grip on my hand grew tighter.
“I’m just… glad you’ve come back. That’s all that matters. As long as you haven’t left me, I need nothing else.”
“This is the only place I could come back to. Because you’re here.”
“…”
“This is my home now. So…”
I smiled.
“I won’t leave again.”
Thinking about how much anxiety he must have endured while I was asleep sent another pang to my chest.
I had thought of his face first thing when I awoke in the other world.
What I feared most, more than anything else, was the thought of never seeing him again.
Perhaps we had shared the same feelings.
Gazing at him for a long while, I slowly sat up.
Ian hurriedly leaned forward to support me, his face, now so close, looking utterly precious to me.
“I should’ve greeted you properly first, but I’m late.”
When he carefully removed the hand that was supporting me, I cupped his cheek and leaned my forehead against his.
The warmth was vivid and achingly familiar.
“I’m back, Ian.”
He held my arms gently and wrapped his other hand carefully around my waist before whispering softly:
“…Yes. I’ve been waiting.”
I was truly back.
Back to my world—the one where he was.
• • •
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