“…Your heart?”
“The hardest thing in the world is the heart, isn’t it? Whether it’s your own or someone else’s. There was someone whose heart I wanted to win, even if I had to change everything about myself.”
Even without her saying it outright, I knew she was talking about Ian.
Suddenly, it felt like a heavy stone was pressing on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“…But it wasn’t easy. So I tried to change my own heart and ran away. I didn’t want to get hurt.”
For some reason, her blue eyes seemed to ripple slightly.
“But hearing you say I’m impressive, El, it makes me feel… strange.”
“…….”
“I still wonder if I’m someone who deserves such praise.”
I felt odd. Although her initial decision to study abroad was an act of escape, Diana had thrown herself into shoemaking with more passion than anyone else.
After graduating from the academy, she returned to the Levant Empire and started a business, eventually expanding into the heart of the city, earning recognition among the nobility.
However, as the story progressed toward the end, the narrative surrounding her genius in shoe design faded into the background.
For the readers, her journey of finding her own dream was far less important than the love story between the male and female leads.
‘In truth, it was basically a gathering of Ian’s stans.’
Fans of Diana, a minuscule group in comparison, kept holding out hope that she would become the best designer, but sadly, the author never revealed what happened to her.
Perhaps that’s why seeing her like this now felt all the more bittersweet.
No matter what anyone says, Diana, you’re the best.
“No, Diana, you really are amazing. I know you are!”
I raised my voice, speaking with conviction, and her eyes widened in surprise.
“…El?”
“Regardless of how it all started, Diana, you’re pursuing your path with all your heart. You’re passionate about what you want to do, and that makes you amazing.”
I clenched my fists as I spoke.
“So no matter how things change, I hope you continue doing what you love. It’s great to want to win someone’s heart, but what’s most important is that you’re happy.”
To the readers of this romance novel, Diana might just be the female lead who ends up with the male lead, but in Diana’s life, the only protagonist is Diana herself.
Even if she meets Ian again and, miraculously, their love story unfolds, that won’t be the entirety of her life.
That’s why I wished for Diana to hold onto her dream a little longer. Her eyes grew slightly wider.
“El…”
I realized a little too late that I had gotten overly excited and blushed in embarrassment.
“Well, I mean, even though I just met you today, it’s rare to find someone so passionate about their field like you. You were really impressive when you spoke to those students earlier.”
Fearing she might start looking at me suspiciously, I added the last part sheepishly. I glanced at her nervously, but Diana seemed deep in thought.
“…….”
Seeing her like that made my chest feel heavy again.
‘I might not be here by the time Diana finds her happiness.’
I tried to shake off the heavy thought that suddenly came to mind and smiled.
“Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m sure you’ll do great.”
Diana, who had been staring blankly at me, smiled in response.
“…Yes. Thank you, El.”
Seeing her soft smile made me feel a little more at ease.
I hadn’t planned to meet her originally, but I was grateful that I could borrow Kyle’s magic and spend even this short time with her.
So, I tried my best to push away the lingering anxiety and bitterness in my heart.
“Anyway, I guess I’ve been of some help with your project, right?”
“Some help? El, you’re my savior!”
Diana exaggerated, causing both of us to burst into laughter.
“Thank you so much today. You helped with my project, and you listened to my worries.”
“That’s embarrassing.”
Diana, looking at me with a thoughtful expression, added.
“I’ll make sure to remember what you said today, El.”
Her voice carried a certain weight, making it clear this wasn’t just a casual remark. Her lake-like blue eyes were gazing directly at me.
“And…”
She paused for a moment, blinking slowly before offering a faint smile.
“I’m glad I met you today, El.”
“…….”
“Thanks to you, I think I’ve found the solution to a problem I’ve been struggling with for a long time.”
It felt far too serious to simply be a thank-you for helping with her project.
I was the one who found it odd.
‘I didn’t expect to receive such a heartfelt thanks.’
Just as I was beginning to feel a strange sense of discomfort, Diana, now with her gentle expression back, stood up from her seat.
“Well, shall we head back? I feel like I’ve taken up too much of your time.”
“No, not at all. I enjoyed it too.”
Just saying I enjoyed it wasn’t enough. It was a one-on-one fan meeting, after all. Hearing my sincere words, Diana’s eyes curved into a wide smile.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
After slowly tidying up the table, Diana waved at me from the entrance of the store.
“See you again, El.”
I probably wouldn’t get the chance to meet her again as ‘El.’
I couldn’t find the right words to respond, so I simply raised the corners of my mouth.
Diana added one more thing. Her tone was full of certainty.
“So stay healthy until we meet again, El.”
❖ ❖ ❖
By the time I returned to the lodging after parting with Diana, I was half-exhausted.
“Haah.”
Fan meetings aren’t as easy as they seem. After spending the whole day busily walking around the campus of Biblos Academy and even wandering around the city center, I was completely drained.
Feeling utterly depleted, I staggered over to the sofa and collapsed onto it.
“It’s quiet….”
Even though the sun was halfway set outside the window, Ian still hadn’t returned.
“…….”
I blinked vacantly.
‘Maybe it’s for the best.’
I wasn’t sure how to face Ian right now. As the surroundings quieted down, complicated thoughts started to rush in.
Diana, whom I had met in person, was much more impressive than I had imagined.
So much so that I couldn’t dare feel jealous of her for being the heroine of this world.
‘And perhaps that’s why…’
My thoughts grew complicated. The realization that I was truly just ‘standing in’ for Diana hit me with a sudden sense of reality.
‘I don’t even know why I’m feeling so restless all of a sudden…’
From the beginning, my plan was to notify Ian of our divorce and disappear by the time Diana returned to her rightful place.
I had never once questioned that decision, but now that I had actually met Diana, I couldn’t avoid the fact that what I had once considered a distant reality was, in fact, my near future.
The role I was playing would inevitably come to an end.
Even if Ian was now wavering because of me, contrary to my expectations, I was still someone who would have to make way for Diana in the end.
I had never once considered the idea of forcefully taking her place for myself.
‘That was the plan from the start.’
But despite my resolve, it felt as though a heavy stone was pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
I closed my eyes tightly and bit down on the inside of my cheek.
‘…Even if not in that way, I really might disappear by the time Diana returns.’
Suddenly, I recalled the incident in Marisen from not long ago. The face of that nameless boy who muttered strange things as he looked at me.
“Outsider….”
He had said that this wasn’t the place for me.
And then, naturally, the image of ‘me’ lying in that stark white hospital room came to mind.
If what the boy said was true, then the original ‘me’ hadn’t died.
So that meant, eventually, I would have to return. If my role here was really to disappear from this world before the two protagonists got together…
‘…Will I really go back?’
Come to think of it, I had never once considered the possibility that I might return to my original world.
But now, the thought made me feel uneasy. I didn’t know why the thought of returning to my rightful place felt so heavy and frightening. And in the end, the face that surfaced in my mind was Ian’s.
“I think I’ve grown greedy.”
What should I do now that his image keeps filling my mind, even in this situation?
♧♧♧
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