“Ugh, ugh!”
Dragged into a dark room with no light, Retina resisted, squirming her arms. She wanted to cry for help, but the hand covering her mouth prevented her from making a loud sound.
From behind, a strong grip tightened around her. Remembering Lena’s warning to be careful because there could be unpleasant incidents at the masquerade, Retina resisted even more fiercely. The self-defense techniques she learned from her brothers seemed to have disappeared from her mind, now blank with fear.
“Shh, shh. It’s me, Retina.”
The hand covering her mouth was released as she struggled uncontrollably. Frozen in a panic, Retina slowly turned her head back, revealing half of the masked Crown Prince’s face.
“Me…?”
“I told you to call me by name when there are only the two of us.”
Herald, with his nose against Retina’s neck, took a deep breath. It seemed like he only truly calmed down after feeling her presence with all his senses.
“I thought I was going crazy missing you.”
“How…”
“Didn’t you write in the letter that you’re going to the masquerade?”
Herald wrapped his strong arms around Retina’s slender waist. As if he had found something long-lost, he held her precious. As soon as he received the letter from Sat, he immediately read it and left everything behind to come here. Despite knowing that delaying today’s work would only double the load for tomorrow, he didn’t want to miss the chance to see her.
“I have been so busy lately. I thought I would see you at least once, but I never imagined it would take this long.”
Relieved to finally meet the Crown Prince, Retina, who had been tense, grabbed onto his arms. Though they were simply leaning against each other, warmth spread throughout her entire body.
To ensure that Herald and Retina weren’t disturbed during this moment of reunion, Herald locked the door to the room. It was a room often used by partygoers as a resting place, but no one had entered.
Herald quickly embraced Retina, lifting her up and placing her on the inner sofa bed. Though the sofa intended for ladies who had fainted due to corsets couldn’t fully accommodate the splendidly dressed Herald, he didn’t mind.
Retina, who had been clinging to Herald, found herself lying on top of him. Sensing her sitting on his abdomen, Retina, who had become aware of the situation, leaned back, causing Herald’s expression to furrow.
“Are you seducing me now?”
“Ah, um, it’s not that.”
Startled, Retina was pulled in front of Herald. As her weight shifted, Retina, who leaned forward, was held by Herald to prevent her from falling. Herald’s hand, intending to grasp the sofa, was not only filling the frame but also poking out to the side, resting on Herald’s chest.
Herald spread his fingers wide, looking at the hand resting on his chest, and smiled.
“No, um, that’s not my intention. Your chest is just too broad!”
“Broad chest, huh? You use quite specialized terms. So, you don’t like it?”
“It’s not that I don’t like it, but…”
Retina, struggling to meet Herald’s teasing, slapped his chest. Even after being hit, he couldn’t take his eyes off Retina, who was laughing and making a twisted expression.
“Who goes around looking this pretty.”
Herald brushed aside the fallen hair, saying, “Anyone you want to look good for?”
“Yes. Of course.”
“Who? Tell me their name right now.”
His voice lowered as he tightened his grip on Retina. Even though she naturally thought of herself, someone came to mind, and unknowingly, Retina was being interrogated.
“Who could it be? It’s the damn Herald Rudenheim who promised to come see me and didn’t even show his face once.”
“Damn?”
“Yes, damn.”
“Oh. I seem to have acquired a first name without even realizing it.”
Even with Retina’s critical words preceding the name that escaped her lips, Herald tilted his head back, delighted. He gently pulled Retina’s back, laying her on his chest. Feeling the warmth spreading across his chest, he sighed with contentment.
There was no need for many words. Even this brief exchange of banter with Retina felt like compensation for the time they had been apart.
“I feel like I’ll go crazy just looking at this much distance. I feel like I need to see you every day to be satisfied.”
Herald patted her back gently so as not to hurt her. He wished this moment could last forever, that time would stop. He hoped the reality of having to leave this room and each going their separate ways wouldn’t come back.
“I don’t want to be apart, I want to be together for a lifetime. How about you?”
Retina, who was listening to the sound of his heartbeat with her ear against his chest, smiled gently. She, too, wanted to spend her life with him, creating a simple but harmonious life, marrying and having children, a dream she hadn’t considered before in her life.
“…Me too.”
Retina immediately responded to his question. However, her face, which seemed happy at first glance, did not look entirely content.
‘But can that really happen? If the Prince and I each get married and go to the North. We might never meet again. But I miss him so much.’
To hide her worries, Retina drew a line along the golden embroidery on his formal suit with her finger. She wanted to think only of good thoughts when she was with him, but the reality obscured by longing kept haunting her.
The person she had missed so much was right in front of her. However, the uncertainty of when they would meet again preoccupied her. Even if she put aside concerns about other people, she wanted to resolve the issues between them.
“Your Highness.”
“Herald.”
Retina sat up, looking down at the prince. Herald, who had been gently stroking her hair, met her gaze with a curious and affectionate look. When the cloth draped over her shoulders slipped down under her arm, Herald, unable to hold it back, supported her back and rose with her.
“Your Highness, are we dating, or are we just sharing our bodies?”
Retina covered the Prince’s cheeks with her hands, ensuring he couldn’t evade her gaze, and asked straightforwardly. Even though she regretted it immediately, fearing he might choose the latter, the words had already left her mouth.
“What are you talking about? Did you think all this time that we were just sharing our bodies?”
Herald, who had been silently staring at Retina, blurted out the question.
“I didn’t think we were just sharing our bodies, but…”
Even though she didn’t think of it as just a physical relationship, the feeling of being a lover was also absent. From the beginning, she and he were in a position where they couldn’t have the serious relationship that other nobles had. It was correct to say that she never expected that.
‘Really?’
Herald, reading sincerity in Retina’s wavering eyes, wrinkled his nose. Realizing that something was wrong, he couldn’t find the right words and hesitated to speak.
“There has never been a time when I haven’t been sincere with you. The age of having childish feelings has passed. I just postponed the confession to make all the preparations, and I didn’t know you would be uneasy about it.”
‘Somehow I felt like I was drawing a line,’ Retina thought.
When predicting the future, he always stumbled on his words, and he now understood the reason. As the feeling of love grew, it became impossible to conceal an anxious heart. Especially when he saw Retina not calling her name unless it was a request, the feeling intensified.
The unstable situation seemed to reflect on her actions. She had treated Retina as a lover for a long time in her heart. However, from her position, where marriage was also valued, it was impossible to enter into matrimony based solely on emotions. To marry Retina, she needed her to take the Deneuve name or, at the very least, to have a sufficient background, not just a last name.
‘Did I… seem like I didn’t love you? I would gladly give you everything, and what’s mine is yours.’
Herald pulled Retina closer, embracing her. It was all his fault. When he saw the news about the Princess Consort, he should have explained it to Retina first. It felt pathetic to say he would protect her without knowing the anxiety she harbored.
He feared Retina, who couldn’t be sure of him, would leave.
