Episode 47. Heart of Love

The refreshing sound of laughter, which seemed unlikely to be heard from Retina’s room, flowed out. The laughter echoing intermittently outside the room was so cheerful that even Lena, who was eavesdropping at the door, felt happy.

The Crown Prince, who was thought to be indifferent to everything, did not hide his emotions from the woman he loved. Initially hesitant in the face of unfamiliar affection, Retina eventually melted into his persistent gestures of love.

Running her fingers through his hair, which she had always wanted to touch, Retina, in the end, gave up pushing Herald away and, for the first time, planted a kiss on his cheek.

“?”

“I kept receiving, so I thought, whether it’s love or revenge, you should give back as much as you receive.”

In response to this unexpected expression of affection, Herald wrapped his cheek and looked at Retina with a surprising gaze. After providing a one-sided kiss for a while, he seemed determined not to forget the sensation of the soft touch on his cheek.

Seeing him like this, one might think he’s truly pure in love. Retina, who once thought the Crown Prince was incapable of feeling emotions, erased her prejudices. Living with a secret that should not be revealed, he likely learned to suppress his emotions rather than show them to others. Born as a Crown Prince and raised to become an Emperor, he simply couldn’t express his emotions freely.

Then, did he have someone he liked? Retina lifted her head, locking eyes with Herald. If he had been dating with her brothers, he probably wouldn’t have avoided meeting women.

“I have something I’m curious about. May I ask?”

“Feel free.”

“If you’re a first-timer, why did you get the nickname ‘Playboy’? It’s not like you’ve met many women like my brothers.”

“Are you curious about the women I’ve met?” Herald responded while generously letting one of his arms yield to Retina, caressing her soft cheek without letting go.

“If you want, I can tell you all their names. But most of them are hard to find in social circles now because they got married and devoted themselves to parenting.”

“I’m not curious about that part…”

“The women I met were more like users than lovers. Prince makes a good target in social circles. Of course, there were those who harbored feelings for me, but I never seriously dated any of them.”

Even during his time at the relatively free academy, or during the stormy period when Deneuves became adults, Herald showed no interest in romantic relationships. More precisely, women in finely tailored dresses with strong perfume, their hair done up like noble birds, didn’t appeal to him romantically.

“Rumors of being a playboy stuck to me because the partners I had on the surface changed every time. I never actively pushed away approaching women, but I also never held onto those who were leaving. Most of them circled around me for a while and then met other suitors, getting married. Every time I met someone, it never progressed into a serious relationship, and I didn’t have much interest in nighttime activities either.”

“Rumors about being a playboy just naturally stuck to me,” Herald explained. He didn’t push away approaching women, but he also didn’t try to hold onto those who were leaving. Most of them stayed around for a while and then met other suitors, eventually getting married. Each time he met someone, it never progressed into a serious relationship, and he didn’t have much interest in nighttime activities either.

“I never wanted to whisper false love to a woman without genuine feelings,” he concluded.

Various scandalous stories rampant in men-only clubs couldn’t capture his interest. If being with a woman might trigger madness, causing headaches, he preferred not to create situations where problems would arise in the first place.

That’s why, when he spent the night with a woman and woke up, he couldn’t help but be surprised. No matter how tormented by madness he was, he had never embraced a woman before.

Herald looked at his companion. From their first meeting, Retina had been someone special to him. A presence he couldn’t help but fall for.

“I have something I’m curious about too.”

“Me? What is it?”

Translators: Stardust. Read on moonlight novels only

“Have you met someone before?”

Herald asked nonchalantly, as if he were just asking out of curiosity. However, his eyes gleamed fiercely as he wrote down the names Retina mentioned, as if intending to create a hit list.

“No, I didn’t. Until I liked you, I had no thoughts of dating or marriage. As you can see, with a mind like mine… I didn’t want to meet someone by deceiving them. I didn’t interact much with people from the village, so I didn’t have many close relationships.”

Retina stretched out her words, seemingly shy to say the words of affection in front of Herald. She hadn’t built many human connections while living in the estate. When she lived with her mother, she interacted with the people in the village, but after living alone, she led an isolated life.

She hadn’t even imagined forming a deep relationship with someone who wasn’t family. Occasionally, when overhearing conversations about babies born with silver hair, she felt a sense of defeat. The more a village clung to the old Ludenheim beliefs, the more people feared and avoided those with silver hair.

She didn’t have the confidence to endure the gaze of people who would scorn and disdain her after getting close to them. And the desire not to be hurt kept her isolating herself. If she didn’t form deep connections, she wouldn’t be abandoned by someone she liked.

Herald tenderly caressed Retina’s back as it slumped inward. Having lived a life carrying a secret that should not be revealed made him better understand the kind of life lived, concealed from others.

“You did well. You led a commendable life. You saved the lives of some men who will lead the empire.”

He consoled Retina with a half-joking remark. He regretted not showing interest in her a little earlier. If he had, perhaps Retina wouldn’t have suffered the same wounds. Regardless of when and where they met, if he were the one to fall in love with her, he would have alleviated her deficiencies.

“Had there been a man other than me who spent the night with you, I would have cut off his eyes, ears, and hands. It would have been a sin to see, hear, and touch you, the one I couldn’t see. If I had spent the night, I might have gone as far as killing him.”

“You’re making quite a harsh joke, considering it’s about the Crown Prince, aren’t you?”

“It’s not a joke. If I knew who it was, I would have visited them immediately.”

“…Even if there were, it’s better to say there wasn’t.”

His persistent obsession seemed to extend to the past. Retina’s arm, embracing the Crown Prince, stealthily retreated. Did she choose the wrong person to like? A woman’s intuition was warning her of danger.

“As much as you like.”

Herald, who had been gently stroking the frightened Retina, pulled her, who had distanced herself, closer. He expressed the feelings he had wanted to convey but couldn’t until now.

The two, who had known each other’s feelings but had hurriedly hidden them, rapidly drew closer as they confirmed that their feelings were reciprocated. They weren’t worried that pouring out their emotions from the beginning would make them cool off quickly. They had an implicit understanding that their feelings would only deepen over time.

“I never expected His Highness to be like this.”

“I’m surprised too. Even saying these words doesn’t feel awkward, but you’re the first one to not feel strange.”

Herald confidently spoke, not bothering to hide the brazen expression. While the situation of a Crown Prince whispering love might be good, Retina, unaccustomed to it, only listened and pressed her lips together.

She still couldn’t believe that he, who she thought only loved Marie, had misunderstood everything and that he was the first to fall in love with her. Even now, lying in bed with the Crown Prince, she couldn’t believe that he loved her.

‘I thought I would live alone forever.’

Translators: Stardust. Read on moonlight novels only

Although she couldn’t make it too obvious in front of the Crown Prince, it was one of the happiest moments of her life. She had refrained from showing her affection from the beginning, afraid that she might become greedy and not be able to control herself.

‘I wonder what will happen if I become more greedy.’

Retina, who stared fixedly at Herald, buried her face in his chest. The Crown Prince had many responsibilities and obligations that prevented him from acting according to his feelings.

She knew that the Crown Prince intended to pursue a Crown Princess during this social season before his coronation. She also knew that she wouldn’t be the one to take that place. The joy of realizing that the person she liked had the same feelings was accompanied by a series of worries.

“Why all of a sudden? Do you have some troubling thoughts?”

“It’s nothing. I just… can’t believe I’m like this with Your Highness.”

However, Retina didn’t reveal her own worries to Herald. After enduring her emotions for days, she now just wanted to enjoy the happiness she found.

‘Marriage is a reality.’

She had always held onto the thought of giving up on her feelings for him. Even though Retina had expressed her feelings honestly, now she just wanted to bask in happiness.

She nestled into Herald’s broad chest, her heart overflowing with feelings for him. Inwardly, she made a promise to herself. Even if he married another noblewoman, she would sincerely wish for his happiness without lingering regrets.

With her face against Herald’s, Retina gazed at him with a gentle smile. Now was the time to honestly express her feelings.

“I like you too, Your Highness.”

 

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