Retina chose to stay at an inn frequented by travelers instead of going to the imperial residence. Although some people recognized her, they didn’t approach closely, likely due to the presence of her escort knights.
Retina endured the inconvenience of attracting attention and being recognized in order to make a small but significant change in how people perceived her. She hoped that by being seen in public, she could help alter any lingering negative perceptions.
In a similar vein, she had not rented the entire inn but only two rooms for herself and her knights. As a result, the sounds of hearty laughter from the other guests on the first floor filled the air.
“This is the charm of Hedon,” she thought.
Sitting at the bar and sipping on the innkeeper’s homemade liquor, Retina couldn’t help but smile.
The voices of the men, which might have seemed loud and disruptive elsewhere, were part of the charm of Heddon. Here, people would share drinks and stories as if meeting a long-lost friend, and they were incredibly kind to curious children. With open hearts, the people of Heddon maintained their vibrant energy even after many years.
“Landlord, another drink, please.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize the high-spirited Duke enjoyed such strong liquor. It’s quite potent for a lady.”
“Perhaps it’s because I’ve met such good people that it goes down well.”
Retina lifted a mug as big as her face, using it to cover her flushed cheeks from the drink. Having just come from chatting with travelers, she leaned her arms on the bar.
“Ahh.”
As she took a deep breath and exhaled, she felt the warmth spreading through her.
“I’ll have one more drink and then head upstairs,” Retina thought to herself. After her visit to her mother, she had felt a mix of relief and loneliness. Drawn down by the sounds of the travelers, she found some solace in the noisy crowd of bards and various people, though it only seemed to amplify her inner turmoil.
“It’s gotten even more complicated.”
Now, she couldn’t even understand her own wavering heart. She thought it was over, yet she couldn’t shake off her lingering feelings. It was she who had pushed him away with tears in her eyes. Despite knowing that the crown prince would never love her again after she had rejected him, she couldn’t bring herself to let go.
“No, it’s over. I ended it myself. What am I doing?”
Retina steeled herself, trying to control her conflicted emotions. She had ended things with the crown prince, so to return and declare her love once more would be pitiful.
“He said he couldn’t live without me, but he seems to be doing just fine.”
The last time she saw him, he remained unmoved despite her presence. If the people around her hadn’t been there, she might have approached him, but she didn’t.
She was overwhelmed with questions: Was he okay? Was he sleeping well? Was he eating all his meals? Did he still love her? It took a great deal of effort to keep her trembling lips from betraying her concern.
“I’m not a fool.”
With a sigh, Retina picked up the new drink the innkeeper had brought her. Normally, she would have been tipsy by now, but today, no matter how much she drank, her mind stayed clear. She tipped the glass of translucent amber liquid to her lips and swallowed. Glug, glug. Her throat moved as she quickly emptied the glass.
Just as the liquid reached halfway down, someone took the glass from her hand and placed it on the counter.
“Stop drinking and go upstairs.”
Retina’s eyes darted to the stranger who had approached her without fear. Her guards were supposed to keep anyone from getting close. She glared at the man in a robe, whose face was obscured.
“Didn’t I say to drink only enough to get tipsy while I’m around?”
Yet, the voice sounded oddly familiar. With the noise from behind her, it was difficult to discern.
Retina raised her hand to call her guards. She was about to reprimand them for allowing an unknown person to approach her when they should have been keeping everyone at a distance. If she were fully alert, it would have been one thing, but she was in no condition to handle such a situation.
“That’s enough. I’ll handle this. You all go upstairs and rest.”
However, the man gave the guards a command as if it were entirely normal. The more absurd part was that the guards, who were supposed to protect her, were following someone else’s orders instead of hers.
“There are many eyes on us, so go quietly upstairs before you attract too much attention.”
At that moment, a hunter who had climbed onto a table and was singing loudly drew everyone’s attention away from Retina. As she stood up from her seat, she wobbled and struggled to keep her balance.
The man, who skillfully wrapped his arm around Retina’s shoulders, helped her up the stairs to the third floor where she had rented a room.
“Are you planning to come into my room? I’m not drunk enough to let a stranger into my room. Please, let go now.”
Though her steps were slightly unsteady, Retina’s mind was clear enough that she turned her back to the door as she was about to enter her room. Her determination to not let a stranger inside was evident.
“Well, judging by the fact that you still don’t recognize me, it seems you’re quite drunk.”
However, the man in the robe did not step away from Retina. Instead, he leaned closer to her.
“Still, since you didn’t let a stranger into your room so easily, I’ll let it slide. If you had let me in, I would have had to intervene.”
As the man drew closer and his robe brushed against her face, Retina’s eyes widened in recognition.
The unexpected intrusion caused her to lean back against the door, and as she began to topple over, the man naturally guided her into the room and shut the door behind them. He then removed the robe that had covered his face.
“Your Highness…?”
“You recognized me quickly. How much have you had to drink that you couldn’t recognize me even with just a robe on?”
“I didn’t expect Your Highness to come all the way here…! But how did you find me?”
The pleasant, tipsy feeling that had been rising quickly dissipated.
“I asked Sat, and he told me you had gone to visit your old home. As soon as I arrived, I was informed of everything you had been doing.”
“W-who’s curious about that? What about the palace?”
Retina, momentarily shocked by the Crown Prince’s appearance, quickly began to question him. It seemed insane that someone who should have been dealing with nobles at the palace was here in Heddon, which was days away.
“You have to seize the opportunity now, or you might not get another chance.”
“But still, what if you get caught leaving your post?”
“You don’t need to worry about that. I locked myself in the Crown Prince’s quarters because of a relapse of my fever. Sat and Haint are guarding the palace in my place.”
Retina stared at the Crown Prince in disbelief, who was so nonchalant about deceiving everyone and leaving the capital. The person who caused the commotion was acting as if nothing was wrong.
“Are you really okay with leaving things as they are?”
Retina’s actions, aimed at sending Herald away from a place he should not be, came to a halt at his question. It was not okay. Since their separation, which had been filled with lingering regrets, Retina hadn’t had a single peaceful night.
Even when visiting her mother, Retina hadn’t been able to share her doubts about Herald. Her family had told her to choose according to her heart, but she still hesitated. She wasn’t sure if she was truly worthy of becoming a queen. And if not, she couldn’t be certain whether she could maintain a relationship with him if another woman became the queen.
Certainly, the latter was absolutely unacceptable.
Whatever the outcome of their relationship, misunderstandings needed to be cleared up. Unlike the last time, Retina now faced a rational Crown Prince. Though he had been engulfed in betrayal, anger, and despair before and was unwilling to listen, now he was the one seeking a conversation with her.
“I wanted to explain things to Your Highness before anyone else knew. It was clear that our circumstances would make it impossible for us to continue. But deciding on separation took me a long time, which is why I couldn’t speak up sooner. Then, discussions about my choice came up in the meeting.”
“Did you always think of breaking up with me? And just passively watch as another woman becomes the Crown Princess?”
“That’s…”
If it had been a thought, it was one Retina had had for a long time. From the moment she became aware of her feelings for the Crown Prince, Retina had thought she wasn’t the right woman for him. Though she once harbored a desire to be by his side, she ultimately felt that his place was not hers. This only reinforced her belief that the position next to him was not her rightful place.
“This story always hurts.”
Herald truly seemed to be in pain. Retina’s silence was a clear sign that she had been contemplating their separation for a long time.
“I felt pathetic for desperately trying to keep you by my side.”
Without realizing that, he had been doing everything he could to ensure that his ambiguous position would not become an obstacle when Retina married him.
“When I heard you suddenly talk about leaving, saying you needed to take responsibility, I felt like you didn’t truly love me. I believed that despite everything, you would choose me. Somewhere along the line, I had come to hold that vague belief.”
Herald gently wrapped his arms around Retina’s stiffened ones. Picking up where they left off in the garden, he wore a much more relaxed expression.
