Chapter 53
Arden did not understand.
The smile that had been on her face when she was happily laughing vanished as soon as he appeared, as if it had never existed.
“Raymond, you son of a bitch.”
They said women would faint at the sight of flowers, but it was clearly a lie. Leticia did not look happy at all. Instead, other people at the gathering seemed to brighten up with his arrival.
He glanced at Leticia, who was walking with a bouquet in her hand.
“Why don’t you ask what you’re being forgiven for?”
“What do you want to be forgiven for?”
“…It seems you’re not curious anymore. Let’s have a meal together.”
“Alright.”
“You didn’t even say you don’t want to.”
“Even if I said no, you would drag me anyway, wouldn’t you?”
“…”
Arden shut his mouth as he tried to refute. As she said, even if he said no, he had planned to eat together. He loosened his cravat and took a deep breath in frustration.
“Did you want to see how I would handle it?”
“I told you earlier. I came because I was worried about you. I was anxious about whether they would properly apologize.”
“…I see.”
“What exactly are you dissatisfied with?”
He stopped walking, narrowed his brows irritably, and then grabbed her arm to stop her. As a result, Leticia dropped the bouquet she was holding.
“Ah…!”
Leticia sighed briefly. But by then, the beautiful bouquet had already fallen and become shabby. The petals scattered around, creating a spectacular scene.
The vibrant and bright flowers, which had flaunted their vitality, were now in ruins. She looked sadly at the fate of the once brilliant flowers.
Arden’s mouth felt dry. Her golden eyes shifted from the fallen flowers on the floor to his hand holding her wrist.
Her red lips moved and she spoke in a clear, crisp voice.
“This.”
“What?”
“This is what I’m dissatisfied with. This attitude of being unreasonable. I dislike this attitude of not respecting me.”
At her clear and firm response, Arden’s eyes wavered.
For some time now, she had been expressing negative sentiments towards him. “I dislike it. I resent it. I hate it. I don’t love you.”
The shy smile she once had for him was gone. The gap was too vast and unfamiliar. He still wanted to recover the old version of her.
“Please let go.”
She reiterated her opinion to Arden. Her golden eyes were full of strength. She looked him straight in the eye and tried to break free from his hand.
“You said you were repentant. Do you know what repentance means? When I talk with His Majesty every day, I feel like I’m becoming tattered like that bouquet.”
Leticia bit her lip tightly. Her eyes were red, suggesting she was trying to hold back tears.
‘I won’t cry.’
She stubbornly resisted. She didn’t want to cry in front of him anymore.
“How much more should I feel this misery? Do I have to become a mess like that discarded flower before you stop? You said you’d take even a shell, but you don’t need a withered heart. It seems you only want a complete shell. It seems you can’t even look at a shell that’s barely worth seeing…!”
Leticia’s voice rose. She clenched her fists to suppress her surging emotions. Her body trembled violently, and Arden could feel it through his hand. He was at a loss for words, unable to respond to her desperate struggle.
She gasped for breath.
“When that time comes… will you let me go? If not, let go now. It’s not hard to become broken.”
Her once sweet eyes now looked as chilling as the edge of a blade. Arden felt a wave of emptiness as he saw his reflection in her gaze.
His uncontrollable desire, flowing out like a beast, was the result of her constant rejection. She refused to talk and pushed him away, which led to his desperate actions.
He still didn’t understand.
‘Why now?’
Could it be that she can no longer endure it? Or is she truly trying to leave him for somewhere else?
Whatever the case, Arden had no intention of letting her go. He didn’t want to. He was still puzzled by the sudden change in her attitude. Was being by his side a form of hell for her? He couldn’t understand why she was suffering so much. But one thing was certain: Leticia no longer loved him.
Realizing this made his chest ache.
She, who had always looked only at him, was now asking to be let go. Her voice, which had once spoken of wanting to die, resurfaced, and Arden felt fear.
He didn’t want to see another person close to him die.
The strength in the hand holding her wrist loosened. The hand, now powerless, fell to the floor beside his leg.
Leticia immediately walked past him and went into the room.
“Someone who isn’t even in a position to ask for forgiveness, what right do they have to ask for it?”
Her cold voice pierced like a dagger. Arden stared silently at her back with empty eyes.
Leticia fled into the room and locked the door behind her. Her heart was pounding as if it would burst, and she felt like she might stop breathing. She hunched over, wrapping her arms around her knees, and buried her head. Her wrist throbbed, but she didn’t feel the pain.
There was a different, deeper pain.
She couldn’t even cry. She bit her lip and suppressed her emotions. She hoped that her tightly held feelings and sorrow would not burst forth. After all, her emotions would be felt by the child too.
She wanted the child to grow up happily. So she chanted to herself that she was okay, trying to control her emotions.
“It’s alright. I’m okay.”
I’m used to it. It doesn’t hurt. I’m not sad. It’s actually a good thing.
Arden’s face, which looked shocked, flickered before her eyes. Had he just now felt his own feelings? Maybe it’s okay to hold onto a little hope. Maybe he will help her escape from this hellish place.
He wasn’t someone so wicked that he would keep her by his side to the point of making her wish to die. Leticia lifted her head, leaned against the door, and closed her eyes. She wrapped her hands around her belly, trying to control her emotions.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Your Majesty, the Queen. This is Luena. Are you alright? Your Majesty! If you’re feeling unwell, I’ll call the court physician!”
Hearing the maid’s voice outside the door, Leticia sighed softly. She responded in a calm voice and stared blankly at the locked door.
“I’m fine, so don’t call the physician. I want to be alone, so please come back later.”
“But… you looked very unwell earlier.”
“It’s because I had a quarrel with His Majesty. Even couples argue sometimes.”
“Oh…!”
“I don’t want to show a disgraceful appearance to the servants.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think it through. Please call me if you need anything.”
Leticia felt relieved only after hearing Luena’s footsteps receding from the door. She leaned her forehead against the door and tried to organize her thoughts, when suddenly an idea struck her.
She couldn’t stay like this.
She staggered toward her private room.
Sitting at the table, she took out a letter and quickly wrote down her thoughts. There was only one person who could help her and pull her out of this hell. If he understood her situation, he might offer assistance.
Leticia did not leave her private room for a long time. After writing the secret letter, she placed it in an envelope and sealed it with wax. Without hesitation, she pulled the string and called for the maid.
In less than a few minutes, Luena’s voice was heard.
“Did Your Majesty call for me?”
Leticia opened the door and handed her the letter.
“This is a letter to the Pope of Arcelion. I received his blessing, but I haven’t properly thanked him.”
Luena looked puzzled by the idea of sending a letter under these circumstances. Leticia smiled gently and patted her hand twice.
“It’s a quarrel with His Majesty, but I must fulfill my duties. It would be difficult if people think poorly of Brivant, wouldn’t it? However, sending a letter to the Pope right after a quarrel with His Majesty would not look good. I’m not sure if His Majesty will understand.”
Leticia placed her hand on her cheek, tilting her head to the side as if in trouble. Seeing her in distress, Luena waved her hand reassuringly and said,
“Don’t worry. It would be problematic if the Brivant Kingdom were to fall out of favor! I’ll make sure to send the letter discreetly so that His Majesty’s mood isn’t disturbed.”
“Oh, would you do that? Since you’re sending it, please make it an urgent delivery. The longer it takes, the worse it will be.”
Luena nodded. After tucking the letter into her bosom, she bowed to Leticia and immediately set off to send the telegram before anyone else could see it.
She hurried away, unaware of the contents of the letter the Queen was sending to the Pope.
