Chapter 50
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Arden stopped in his tracks and wore a flustered expression.
“… What did you just say?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Are you sure you didn’t say something?”
“No. You must have heard wrong.”
He muttered so quietly that he could hardly hear it. It was unclear whether he had unusually sharp hearing or if he was just attentive to even the smallest sounds. Leticia couldn’t hide her flustered feelings and looked up at him without thinking of hiding them.
Again, that look.
It’s her who wants to die, so why does Arden have the face of someone representing her feelings? Fear clouded his blue eyes. Her heart ached with a prickling sensation from the anxiety of potentially losing something.
“I’m tired. I want to sleep.”
“Sleep later. We have things to discuss.”
“I have nothing to discuss.”
“I do. So even if you don’t want to, talk to me.”
He turned away from the direction of his room and headed towards the greenhouse by the corridor. Leticia became more anxious at his stern expression. What kind of conversation could he possibly want to have?
‘Could he have realized something about the baby?’
She had even spilled some blood on the blanket without the maids noticing. Even though it was irregular, it would be strange not to have it for too long. Leticia was anxious that her meticulous plan might have fallen apart.
There’s no way he could have noticed something that others don’t even know about!
She glanced at Arden’s face and suppressed her nervousness. He probably wanted to ask about recent events. Perhaps he was displeased with how she was behaving differently from what he expected.
If he asked whether there was something to discuss other than those events, there wasn’t. Compared to her, Arden really seemed to have a lot to say.
It was surprising that there was still something to discuss between them. No, it was amazing that he was even willing to have a conversation. She watched Arden, who acted stubbornly, silently. Even if she scratched his back and yelled that she didn’t want to, he would remain resolute.
Rather than wasting energy in vain, it was easier to just do as he wished. If she didn’t want to talk, she could just remain silent.
When they arrived at the greenhouse, Arden seated her in a chair. After locking the door firmly, he sat facing her and exhaled deeply. His efforts to maintain composure made her burst into laughter repeatedly.
“Why are you laughing? It seems like making me go mad is making you laugh.”
He looked at Leticia as if he couldn’t understand. Her smile didn’t fade despite the sigh in his voice. It wasn’t that she was laughing out of joy. The unexpected situation made her chuckle involuntarily.
“It’s awkward seeing you like this. That’s why I keep laughing.”
“Feel free to mock me.”
“I’m not mocking you. I just tried to brush it off with laughter because it’s awkward.”
“…What are you even…”
Leticia shrugged with a neutral expression.
“If you have something to say, just say it.”
She tilted her head as if challenging him to try. His proactive stance must have been because he had something to ask. Since the conversation about Orbo had already concluded earlier, it likely wasn’t related to that.
Sitting in the chair and lifting her head, she saw the blooming flowers smiling warmly at her. She stared at the shoes she had left on the floor. Her swollen feet wouldn’t fit into the shoes anyway, so she decided to go barefoot.
The energy from the grass touching her soles flowed into her body.
‘Is this what Cardinal Kavita was talking about?’
He had mentioned that there were ways to obtain something from nature. Although she hadn’t heard the exact method due to the frequent misunderstandings, she had a vague idea. Leticia felt the strength flowing into her body and stared directly at Arden.
Seeing her unexpectedly pleased appearance, Arden made a complex expression. Realizing that he was completely losing his composure, he lowered his head and took a moment to compose himself.
‘It seems like the medication has kicked in.’
Leticia felt even more pleased with Arden’s behavior. Each time he was shaken by her, it made her feel like she was not insignificant. Even if it was just self-justification, that was okay.
He brushed his hair back and managed his expression. Though his blue eyes still gleamed, there was no trace of confusion left on his face.
She wanted to applaud how quickly he hid his emotions.
“Tell me what I should do. You said it before. If I knew, it would be good.”
“…There are things that can and cannot be achieved through effort.”
“There’s nothing that can’t be achieved through effort.”
“There is.”
It’s the heart that can’t be changed by effort.
She smiled gently at Arden and said, “I’ve told you repeatedly. I’ve even shown you. It’s your love that I need. I need your love.”
“……”
“And I already got the answer to that, didn’t I?”
Arden furrowed his brow in frustration and said, “We want different things. Didn’t you say before that I should keep the promise and speak up? You said that you started to sleep because of me. If that’s the case, then it’s only fair that I now express my dissatisfaction with this contractual marriage, isn’t it?”
Arden’s eyes wavered with anxiety. She smiled brightly at him and said, “I want a divorce. Don’t say it’s not possible. This isn’t a request; it’s a notification.”
“Do as you please. It won’t work out as you want.”
The conversation between them ended abruptly. Leticia didn’t care. She had no desire to converse with him from the start. She wanted to distance herself from someone who didn’t know how to shake her up with words.
In the end, Leticia was once again ignored. Arden sighed at her words and left the greenhouse. Although he seemed to have many things to say, he chose to remain silent.
Left alone in the greenhouse, Leticia mulled over Arden’s expression.
‘If he won’t grant a divorce… then it can’t be helped.’
The paperwork was not important. If she disappeared from here, there would eventually be those who would question her qualifications. Being deposed didn’t matter. It was never a position she desired in the first place.
What she wanted was only one thing:
Initially, to find her mother. And then, to gain his love.
Leticia pounded her chest with her hand. The throbbing pain was still unfamiliar, and she wanted to eliminate the discomfort, even if just this way.
The face that fell into despair when she said she wanted love kept coming to mind. Was it such a difficult thing? She hadn’t realized that what she wished for would be so burdensome for someone.
Still, weren’t they married?
She couldn’t understand. At first, she thought she could continue their relationship without love. How arrogant that thought had been! If she could go back to the past, she might have scolded herself. She would have questioned whether she truly believed it, whether it was possible not to fall for a man with such a beautiful face. His vast blue eyes, broad shoulders, and radiant golden hair.
The occasional smile on his lips was more than enough to make anyone fall in love.
Begging and pleading with him yielded the same result: rejection. Leticia had to make a decision.
The baby wouldn’t wait indefinitely. It continued to grow inside her womb. The physical changes would only become more uncontrollable.
Leticia needed to find a way to protect the baby.
“Hmm?”
Suddenly, green light gathered around her. As if comforting her, the light swirled around, emitting a warm energy. In an instant, a sense of fulfillment spread throughout her body.
“Ah…”
With the surge of emotions and the life force flowing within her, the voice of the dense forest seemed to encourage her. – You can do it. Don’t give up. – We are with you.
Perhaps this was the power flowing through nature. Though she hadn’t fully become a spirit, the sacred energy they imparted to her. Gradually, she began to see a glimmer of hope.
Maybe it was possible to live without his love. Perhaps she could see the baby grow without clinging miserably. To do that, she needed to leave this place.
To somewhere his hands could not reach. To a place where she wouldn’t be swayed any longer.
She wanted to escape to a place where she could hide and where he couldn’t find her. When Arden was off guard, when he believed she would no longer run from his side, that would be the right time. There would be no second chances. So, she carefully planned her next steps.
‘First, finish the tasks at hand.’
After Cadious returned to the Empire and lost interest in her, she needed to disappear, deceiving others’ eyes.
Since the Emperor showed interest in her, Arden would become even more wary. Once there was no one to check him, it would become more dangerous than now. It might be a fleeting moment.
When Arden, without any suspicion, felt at ease, that would be the opportunity for her.
