I Picked Up My Father Who Left Home 91
“I think I’m in pain. It seems like I’m hurt.”
Jeshuan mumbled in a small voice with a pitiful expression.
Yes, that statement wasn’t a lie. His heart was aching because of his jealousy toward Cassian.
And honestly, saying that his face was looks like that because he was jealous of that irritable Grand Duke would have been worse for his image than saying he was in pain.
Though he had no intention of using sympathy to keep her by his side as he did in the past, he still wanted to show her only the best version of himself.
At Jeshuan’s answer, Lia made a sorrowful face.
Just when she had barely relaxed, Jeshuan said he was in pain the moment they met again.
“So, Lia… hold my hand.”
He said that because when she held his hand, his twisted emotions, which were standing up like thorns, would become as tame as a lamb.
At those words, Lia obediently reached out and took his hand.
Jeshuan, not missing the opportunity, grabbed her hand tightly as if snatching prey.
He gave off the atmosphere of a predator marking its territory.
“Are you feeling a bit better now?”
Lia cautiously asked, seeing Jeshuan’s expression gradually soften as soon as she held his hand.
“…Yes, I feel a little better.”
Jeshuan’s voice had returned to its usual softness.
Though just holding her hand wasn’t enough to completely erase his jealousy toward Cassian, it was enough to soothe the rebellious emotions trying to rise within him.
Although he still didn’t like Cassian, and the fact that Cassian was spending time with Lia bothered him, at least right now, Lia was with him.
She was within his sight, sending him a concerned look and kindly holding his hand.
Feeling the warmth steadily filling his heart, Jeshuan found himself feeling drowsy.
“Then… let go of my hand now…”
“No, I still need it.”
He didn’t want to let go of the hand he’d barely grabbed.
Just holding her hand for a few minutes wasn’t enough to ease the longing he had been feeling.
Especially since the moment he held her hand, the comfort that embraced him was incomparable to when he was touching the pendant she had given him.
Although the energy wasn’t as wild as usual, moving restlessly as if waiting for an opportunity, it calmed down like a gentle lamb the moment he held Lia’s hand.
Jeshuan wanted to feel this sensation a little longer.
He wanted to enjoy the peace that felt like he had been thrown into the clouds for just a while more.
Seeing Jeshuan’s pleading expression, Lia decided to keep holding his hand for a little longer.
She couldn’t bring herself to coldly say, ‘Let go of my hand,’ after seeing the desperate look on his face.
Yes, it wasn’t the first time they had held hands, and holding hands between friends shouldn’t be that difficult.
Besides, it had been longer than usual since they last met due to the demon-subjugation mission.
Thinking of all the hardships he had gone through, this much she could gladly accept.
“But today, it’s the garden, not the room?”
Lia said, looking at Jeshuan, who was holding her hand as if it were the most precious treasure in the world and smiling happily.
“If we spent all our time in the room, you’d feel stifled.”
That was why.
For the first time, Jeshuan, who usually disliked leaving the room, wanted to meet Lia in a different place.
Even though it was just a light tea time in the palace garden, it was still a big step for him.
“You must feel more stifled than I do, Jeshuan.”
Lia spoke, knowing how busy he was, not even having time for a simple walk.
However, it wasn’t as if he could go out whenever he wanted.
But Jeshuan… He himself avoided going outside.
Since she had a rough idea of why, Lia couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
How hard must it have been?
How many wounds must he have endured?
Even a passing thorn can hurt, but Jeshuan always had to face the thorny gaze of people.
It wasn’t just the nobles they had encountered who reacted that way.
It wasn’t just because of one person that Jeshuan had secluded himself in his room as if he were a sinner.
Didn’t she find it strange from the start? How he always moved alone without keeping anyone by his side.
Jeshuan, who had been hurt by many people, had locked himself away to the point where he didn’t even want to have a maid near him.
Lia felt a small sense of joy that she could be a friend to someone like him.
At least, Jeshuan was no longer alone. He had her by his side.
Even though it couldn’t heal all the wounds he had suffered until now, it offered a small comfort.
“I’m fine. I’ve gotten used to it. And… I have you, Lia, who comes to see me.”
In what had been ordinary, dreadful time, Lia had appeared.
At first, he had only tried to use her for his own sake, but now that was no longer the case.
Her very existence had become a great source of strength for him.
Lia brought a warmth that no one else had ever given him and made him understand the value of time.
Meeting her made his time special and allowed him to feel a bit of happiness.
That alone was a miraculous thing for Jeshuan.
“If I had a bit more free time, I could visit you more often than I do now…”
Even finding time to visit once a week wasn’t easy for Lia.
There were so many things to do, with piles of paperwork in the Duke’s household, as if they would never end.
Because of that, it was difficult to spare any more time.
“Instead, think of me. Even when we aren’t meeting, I hope you’ll think about me and miss me.”
Just as he did.
Jeshuan wished for his presence to occupy more space within her, just as she did in him.
He wanted to be someone special to her, just as she was to him.
It felt unfair and a little sad to be the only one who longed and pined so desperately.
“I already do.”
“…Really?”
Jeshuan’s eyes widened, as if hearing something unexpected.
“Yes, I’ve been thinking about you constantly. Wondering if you’re doing well, if you’re in pain when I’m not around. I’ve been worried.”
At Lia’s honest words, Jeshuan smiled brightly. It was a smile tinged with a bit of shyness.
Jeshuan was genuinely happy.
The fact that she had been thinking of him and worrying about him while they were apart.
Even if those feelings came from pity, it didn’t matter. Even if it was just simple concern, that was fine.
As long as she kept thinking of him, eventually, he would become someone important to her.
Eventually, he would take up more space in her heart.
“I always think of you, Lia. Sometimes, even when you’re not beside me, it feels like you’re still here with me.”
That was how much his time, and his thoughts, were completely filled with Lia.
She was present in all the moments when his pain had disappeared.
No, even in the midst of pain, Jeshuan only thought of Lia.
In the depths of his excruciating suffering, thinking of her made him feel much calmer, as if she were soothing him.
At Jeshuan’s words, Lia’s cheeks flushed slightly.
His words, spoken without averting his gaze, were filled with his honest feelings.
That’s why Lia felt embarrassed.
His affection had grown so deep that now it could completely envelop her.
It felt almost like a confession of love.
And just as she was thinking this, Jeshuan looked at her with the eyes of someone truly in love, gazing at her with tenderness.
From his gaze, affection poured out, making Lia feel somewhat awkward.
‘…But, I guess that’s fortunate.’
Jeshuan had always been kind toward her, but today he wasn’t hiding his affection or feelings.
It made her feel like they had become much closer.
And there was only one meaning behind this.
He was truly and sincerely starting to accept her.
That change in his heart was something she could sense from the way he acted, the closer distance between them.
“Did the pendant I lent you help at all, Jeshuan?”
Under the sweet, almost melting atmosphere, Lia asked with a still shy expression.
“Yes, it helped me endure. It wasn’t hard at all. And that’s all thanks to the pendant you lent me.”
During the time when Lia was absent, he couldn’t completely escape from the hellish moments. But even so, he was able to hold on to a thread of hope.
When things got too hard and he wanted to let go of everything, holding that pendant felt like a gentle spring breeze soothing and comforting him.
Perhaps it was just a sensation conjured up by his mind, but either way, Jeshuan felt it that way.
“If that’s true, I’m glad. But I think… it wasn’t because of the pendant.”
Even though it was a pendant precious to her, it was only because it held the warmth of someone dear. In the end, it was just an ordinary pendant.
It may have comforted his heart, but it couldn’t have actually eased his pain.
“It’s true. For some reason, whenever I held the pendant you lent me, everything felt like it would be okay. And… I hurt less than usual.”
“Really…?”
“Yes, and I’m grateful. You lent me something so precious for my sake. Thanks to that, I was able to endure.”
Jeshuan carefully took the pendant out from his pocket, as if it were the most precious treasure, and held it tenderly.
Seeing that, Lia hesitated for a moment.
It seemed that his words were true, and she felt conflicted about taking it back.
It appeared that the pendant had become just as special to him as it was to her.
But Lia’s hesitation didn’t last long.
