I Picked Up My Father Who Left Home 67
When Lia opened the door and entered, she saw Jeshuan, looking as if he might collapse and disappear at any moment.
He lay with his eyes closed, asleep, as if the answer Lia had heard a while ago was just an illusion.
But even in his sleep, his appearance revealed just how much pain Jeshuan had been in.
Or perhaps, he was still suffering.
His sleeping face didn’t look peaceful or calm.
His bloodless, pale face, the cold sweat on his brow, and his hands, with veins bulging as if they might break, all told of his past struggles.
Lia felt a pang of sorrow in her heart.
She pitied Jeshuan.
He was usually someone who recovered quickly after suffering. But today, he seemed different.
According to the emperor, it seemed he had been sick for several days already.
Thinking of how Jeshuan had been enduring everything alone all that time made Lia’s heart ache even more.
‘How hard it must have been.’
How much he must have suffered.
Even a fleeting breeze would have been painful for him, yet he had been sick for so long.
Moreover, because of this, Jeshuan, despite being the crown prince, was not treated properly.
She had seen how other nobles treated Jeshuan when she met some of them briefly last time.
He must have been very lonely.
Because of his secret, he couldn’t keep anyone by his side and had to endure everything alone.
He had grown so accustomed to loneliness that he didn’t even realize he was lonely.
That’s why he had said he didn’t need friends.
Having never desired it from the beginning, he didn’t even know what he truly wanted.
“I wish Jeshuan wouldn’t be sick.”
Just seeing Jeshuan’s condition made Lia’s heart ache.
She didn’t understand why she was so concerned about him.
Though she was someone who cared for others, her heart was particularly drawn to Jeshuan.
So, Lia decided to stay a bit longer.
Though she had received permission to enter, Jeshuan wasn’t in a state to pay attention to anyone.
It would be better for his rest if she left, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave him alone.
How long did Lia quietly stay by Jeshuan’s side?
“…Lia…?”
Like petals blown by the wind, Jeshuan weakly lifted his eyelids.
He blinked in disbelief when he saw Lia by his side.
“Oh, you’re awake? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb your rest…”
Lia tried to be as quiet as possible, but she worried that she had woken him.
“…I’m… okay.”
Jeshuan’s voice was so broken and hoarse that it seemed it might give out at any moment.
He struggled to speak, panting heavily.
“You really don’t seem well.”
The hardships she had sensed while he was asleep became more apparent through his voice.
Once again, Lia felt sorrow.
Jeshuan, without saying a word, simply wore a fragile smile that seemed it might disappear.
“I was just worried about you. Please rest. I’ll be going now.”
Lia spoke cautiously, worried that her presence might be a burden to him.
Jeshuan quickly tried to sit up as if to stop her, but he lacked the strength and collapsed back.
“Jeshuan!”
Lia rushed to check on him.
Thankfully, since he had fallen back onto the bed, he wasn’t seriously hurt, but given his poor condition, she couldn’t be certain.
Jeshuan weakly reached out and grabbed Lia’s hand.
His grip was so frail that a light shake would break it, yet it was a desperate touch.
“…Don’t go. Stay… with me.”
Jeshuan pleaded with a desperate expression.
It was the first time.
The first time he had pleaded with someone like this.
The first time he had asked someone to stay by his side.
Jeshuan had always kept his distance, fearing that his condition might harm others.
He had tried so hard not to show his pain to others.
But now… he needed Lia. He wanted Lia to stay by his side.
Seeing him like this made Lia’s face twist in pain.
He looked so pitiful, so pitiable, that her heart felt like it was shedding tears.
“…Shall I hold your hand?”
As she sat back down, Lia asked gently.
There was nothing she could do for him.
All she could do was stay by his side and offer her hand.
But she wanted to do even that.
If it could help Jeshuan even a little.
“Yes.”
Jeshuan nodded without hesitation.
It was what he wanted most.
It was what he needed most.
How could he refuse?
With Jeshuan’s permission, Lia carefully reached out and held his hand. Jeshuan clung to her hand and rubbed his face against it.
Lia was his only salvation.
In this hellish time, only Lia could save him.
The faint hope he once had now became a certainty at this moment.
As soon as he held her hand, the seemingly endless hellish time began to disappear.
“…Since when have you been in pain?”
“…I’m not sure.”
Jeshuan smiled faintly.
Since when… Yes, since when had it been?
Jeshuan had been struggling in such pain that he couldn’t even feel the flow of time.
That time was so agonizing and painful that it couldn’t be described in words.
Just recalling it made it hard for him to breathe.
“Are you in a lot of pain?”
Lia’s expression darkened as she heard Jeshuan’s continuous labored breathing, as if even breathing was difficult for him.
“…It hurts, so much… It really hurts so much…”
It feels like dying.
Yes, it would have been better if I had just died. Then at least this hell would have ended.
I wouldn’t have to suffer or be in pain anymore.
But Jeshuan couldn’t do that.
He couldn’t because of his father.
His father, who had already lost a loved one once, could not go through that again.
Perhaps it was even harder for his father to see him suffering so much, but Jeshuan remembered his father pleading with him not to die, not to leave him.
Recalling how much pain it must have caused his father to say those words, Jeshuan couldn’t easily mention death.
Knowing how hard it was for his father, who tried not to burden him even a little, to say those words, Jeshuan couldn’t speak of death easily.
“…There hasn’t been a single day, not one day, when I wasn’t in pain. Every day, every moment, has been a terrible hell… for me.”
Although he was trying to speak casually, Jeshuan’s face showed many emotions.
All the emotions he had endured alone without showing them were revealed.
It was the first time.
The first time he had spoken so vulnerably to someone.
The first time he had honestly shared the pain he felt.
He had always been busy enduring it.
He thought he had to.
But he wanted to tell Lia. He wanted her to know him.
This wasn’t to evoke sympathy from her.
Jeshuan was at his limit to the point where he couldn’t afford to act for others anymore.
He simply couldn’t endure any longer.
He simply couldn’t hold on any longer.
For the past week, Jeshuan had been in hell.
The pain that came the night he parted from Lia had tormented him continuously until she came back today.
Is there no end to the bottom?
What he thought was already the lowest point was not the end. There was a deeper place.
Hell within hell.
No matter how much he wandered, he couldn’t see an exit. The exit he thought he found was just another pit.
Jeshuan had to spend an entire week in that state.
During that time, Jeshuan constantly thought of Lia.
Only thoughts of her filled his mind.
Even as he struggled in pain, thoughts of her never left.
In a mind where even breathing felt distant, only thoughts of Lia were clear.
How desperately he had called out to her.
How earnestly he had waited.
He missed her so much.
He felt that if only Lia were here, everything would be okay.
Jeshuan was not wrong.
The moment he felt her presence and the moment she held his hand, the fierce energy that seemed to constrict and explode everything began to calm.
“…Jeshuan.”
Lia could only feel pity as Jeshuan, who had finally revealed the emotions that had festered inside him, spoke.
What could she possibly say to him?
He said every day was like hell.
He said there wasn’t a single day of comfort.
Lia had never experienced such a time.
She had been greatly shocked by her grandfather’s death, but it wasn’t something she couldn’t overcome.
She had received enough affection from her grandfather to cover that pain, and it was the same even after his death.
So she could overcome it.
Sometimes she missed her grandfather and felt sad, but she wasn’t sad and in pain every day.
But Jeshuan was different.
She couldn’t compare his suffering to her situation, but he had been enduring unimaginable hardships every day.
