I Picked Up My Father Who Left Home 60
The Emperor felt hurt by Jeshuan’s attitude.
It seemed like his only son, his precious son, didn’t trust him.
Yet, he didn’t show it.
The one who suffered the most hurt was none other than his own son.
To him, he couldn’t impose anything, for fear it might cause more pain.
Even that could become a wound for him.
Even that could become shackles for him.
So, the Emperor pretended not to notice Jeshuan’s suppressed words this time as well.
He didn’t ask what Jeshuan was thinking.
If he didn’t want to speak, he would just wait.
Until he chose to open up. Until he felt like speaking to him.
That’s why when Jeshuan expressed his desire to keep Lia by his side, he didn’t inquire about the reasons.
Knowing that his son’s response wasn’t everything, the Emperor refrained from probing further.
Not wanting to spend the time with his son in silence, the Emperor brought up another topic.
“Today… I heard a story about you coincidentally meeting Count Kiehran while taking a walk.”
“…Yes, that’s right.”
He hoped the Emperor wouldn’t know. But it was unavoidable. How could the Emperor not know what was happening in the palace?
Moreover, despite pretending otherwise, his father was more interested in him than anyone else.
“Are you alright?”
Suppressing countless words that surged up to his throat, the Emperor asked.
The Emperor knew well. What the nobles thought of Jeshuan.
How could he not know?
They were the ones who constantly petitioned to depose Jeshuan in favor of a new prince, claiming that the Emperor should bring forth a new heir through the Empress.
The intention behind those petitions was singular.
It was to depose the current Crown Prince Jeshuan and elevate a new prince to that position.
Among them, Count Kiehran was the one who least favored Jeshuan.
Regardless of Jeshuan’s situation, he still maintained the minimum courtesy expected of a crown prince. However, Jeshuan was not oblivious to Count Kiehran’s intentions, even though they were not openly expressed. Jeshuan was more perceptive than most, so he worried.
He worried that Jeshuan might be hurt again by Count Kiehran’s attitude, or that the count might say something cutting to Jeshuan once more.
“I’m fine.”
Jeshuan replied, though it was nothing new, and he felt no excitement anymore.
“My dear, my only son.”
The Emperor said, looking at Jeshuan with a pained expression.
If only his son were a bit less naive, a bit less immature, then maybe Jeshuan wouldn’t have to endure this pain. If only Jeshuan had confronted them instead of bottling it up, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.
But his son didn’t. He hoped his son wouldn’t clash with the nobles.
Jeshuan hoped that his existence wouldn’t burden his father, the Emperor.
“I’m really fine. So please don’t worry too much.”
Jeshuan tried to reassure, his voice choking.
Jeshuan could read the guilt on his father’s face, making it harder for him to claim he was okay.
But before he could speak, a sudden wave of pain engulfed him.
Without a chance to stifle a groan, the immense agony swallowed Jeshuan whole, like a raging tidal wave.
The calm he felt with Lia vanished as soon as he was alone, replaced by intense, violent spasms.
It seemed more brutal than usual.
Jeshuan couldn’t think; he could only focus on trying to breathe through the suffocating pain.
Enduring didn’t alleviate the pain.
Jeshuan struggled to maintain his balance, his body finally giving way and collapsing.
The Emperor reached out to help, but Jeshuan harshly refused.
Jeshuan crumpled to the ground, enduring the torment for what felt like an eternity.
He clawed at the floor, his nails breaking, and bit his lip until it bled.
The Emperor could only watch helplessly.
With each agonizing moment, Jeshuan’s pain seemed to intensify.
The Emperor could do nothing but witness his son’s suffering.
He wanted to hold Jeshuan, to alleviate even a fraction of his pain.
But the Emperor could do nothing.
All he could do was stay by his side and watch.
“G-go, go… away.”
Jeshuan didn’t want his father to see him like this, to see the guilt etched on his face.
He didn’t want his father to blame himself for his condition.
Jeshuan knew his father wasn’t to blame for his birth.
If anything, it was Jeshuan who caused his father the most hardship.
His mother passed away giving birth to him.
And since his birth, Jeshuan had continually clashed with the nobles.
He didn’t want to burden his father any further.
He wished his father wouldn’t suffer because of him anymore.
“How can I… leave you…”
The Emperor couldn’t finish his sentence.
It hurt too much.
He felt powerless, like someone was stabbing his heart with a sharp spear.
It felt like everything was closing in on him, blinding him and muffling his senses.
How could his son suffer like this?
What had he done wrong? What sin had he committed?
Jeshuan tightly shut his eyes.
He couldn’t bear to look at his father’s face, distorted because of him.
“…Ple… Please, go away.”
“My son…”
“…Ple… Please… I begging you!”
Jeshuan cried out, his voice strained, as if grasping for breath.
As he expressed his emotions, the energy that had been contained within him began to seep out.
It was not a good sign.
The Emperor’s expression hardened as he noticed this.
“…Father.”
Jeshuan, barely opening his eyes, looked at the Emperor with a pleading gaze.
The Emperor remained silent. There was nothing he could do.
“……”
With a sense of helplessness, the Emperor wore a bitter expression.
Then, he quietly turned and left the room, feeling desolate.
There was nothing more he could do.
It was all the Emperor could do for his son, just leaving the room as his son wished.
After the Emperor left, Jeshuan tried to suppress the urge to explode immediately.
But it wasn’t easy.
Somehow, the intensity of his emotions seemed stronger than usual.
Jeshuan simply closed his eyes and waited for it all to be over.
In the midst of it, he suddenly thought of Lia.
‘Why?’
It was clear that the concern on his father’s face was worry and pity towards him.
It was the same for Lia.
Lia’s expression as she watched him struggling in pain wouldn’t be much different from the Emperor’s.
But facing Lia’s concern brought him some small comfort.
Knowing there was someone who cared about him, who worried about him, gave him a strange sense of satisfaction.
Yet, he didn’t feel the same way about the Emperor’s concern.
It just made him uncomfortable.
What was different after all?
Then Jeshuan realized one thing.
The Emperor’s face wasn’t just filled with concern and pity towards him.
There was also guilt, remorse towards himself.
Yes, he didn’t like that.
It wasn’t the Emperor’s fault at all.
His father loved and cherished him enough.
The fact that he felt those emotions was entirely because of him.
And that realization sank Jeshuan’s mood even further.
Perhaps he even began to wonder if his own existence was a mistake.
So he deliberately avoided the Emperor more, keeping his distance.
But Lia was different.
Lia didn’t feel any guilt or remorse about his situation. There was no reason for her to do so in the first place.
That’s why.
He could accept her concerns without twisting them, purely.
‘And…’
Only she could help him escape this hellish moment.
At this moment, Jeshuan missed Lia so much.
He longed for the warmth she used to give him.
He wanted to hold her hand again.
He wanted to look into her transparent, clear eyes.
But Lia wasn’t here now.
There was only himself, suffering in acute pain.
‘…Lia.’
As if desperately calling her would bring her, amidst the consuming agony, Jeshuan thought only of Lia.
But maybe it was fortunate.
Thinking of Lia, the excruciating pain that felt like tearing his body apart just moments ago dulled slightly.
Perhaps if it hadn’t, he might have been unable to bear it any longer and resorted to the potion Cassian, the court alchemist, had given him.
But that couldn’t happen.
It was meant to be used for Lia when she truly needed it.
Not now.
After all, Cassian had given it to him for Lia’s sake.
***
What was supposed to be a week-long expedition to suppress the demons had suddenly become just three days away.
During this time, Lia had been tirelessly dedicated to her work without a moment’s rest.
With the need to be absent for a while, there wasn’t enough time in the day to prepare for the upcoming events.
Along with it, Cassian’s dissatisfaction was mounting.
Worries arose because, despite the need to conserve energy for the demon suppression schedule, Lia was buried in work, leaving no time for rest.
Hence, Cassian decided on drastic measures.
Since Lia wouldn’t listen to advice to rest, he had to enforce it, even if forcefully.
Well, he might have to nag Lia a bit, but it was all for her own good.
For her sake, Cassian quietly prepared a few things.
The preparation period wasn’t long. There wasn’t anything extravagant planned from the start.
With everything ready, Cassian discreetly moved, ensuring nobody would catch wind of it.
Shortly after, Lia’s radiant voice echoed throughout the mansion.
