I Picked Up My Father Who Left Home 57
Jeshuan couldn’t understand Lia’s conviction.
There was no falsehood in his attitude towards her.
Even if he deliberately tried to win her favor by wearing a mask, his feelings towards her were sincere.
He just employed a little trickery to approach her more efficiently.
However, just because it was sincere, it couldn’t be the reason for certainty.
Because he can’t know what she’s thinking, and she won’t know what he’s thinking.
“Your eyes, Jeshuan. And the appearance you just showed.”
Lia, swallowing a bit of rudeness, confronted Jeshuan directly, locking eyes with him.
Sharp enough to penetrate the intentions of the other party, yet honest and clear-eyed.
“Jeshuan, you didn’t get angry even at Count Kiehran’s rudeness. You endured it. So when did you get angry? It was when Count Kiehran ignored me.”
How can someone who gets angry not for themselves, but for others, be dangerous person or a bad person?
Even if it could be deceit for deceiving oneself, for one’s own favor, Lia didn’t think so.
Jeshuan was truly angry at that moment.
Lia was neither naive nor dull enough to not know that.
Jeshuan remained silent. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything to Lia’s transparent and clear eyes, which seemed to contain even his most deeply hidden feelings. He felt that if he opened his mouth, it would reveal his dangerous inner thoughts.
“I know that Jeshuan is hiding something from me. I have that much perception.”
As the head of a household, she should have that level of perception.
Especially Lia, who had a particularly keen sense of people. Despite disguising themselves as good-natured outwardly, she was agile enough to perceive their true intentions.
Moreover, the other party didn’t completely hide the fact that they were hiding something.
As if it were the least bit of conscience.
So, even if she didn’t want to notice, she couldn’t help but notice.
“Yet you don’t think I’m the dangerous one? That secret might be important evidence that I’m a dangerous person.”
Jeshuan asked as if testing Lia’s sincerity.
However, deep within him lay a desperate desire to grasp the last lifeline given to him.
“Whatever the secret, I still believe that Jeshuan is not a dangerous person.”
Lia said firmly, without a hint of hesitation.
Lia spoke decisively, her tone showing no trace of wavering.
Who in the world is without secrets?
Moreover, they had only met four times so far.
There was no obligation for him to confess any secrets to someone like her.
And whatever the secret was, Lia trusted him as she had seen him.
If he was truly as dangerous as Count Kiehran claimed, she wouldn’t have overlooked his rudeness.
Nor would he have restrained himself as he did.
Especially the attitude he showed on the first day they met.
Even though it might seem threatening at first glance, his attitude that day was not intended to harm others.
It was merely to protect himself.
At that time, he seemed to be afraid of something. She couldn’t know what he was afraid of, but if Count Kiehran’s words were true, it was obvious what it might be.
Perhaps he feared making someone else in danger.
How could someone like that be dangerous?
If he were truly dangerous, he wouldn’t fear harming others. Instead, he would enjoy it and wield it like a weapon.
“I’m not the good person that Lia thinks I am.”
In the face of Lia’s unwavering conviction and the trust she radiated, Jeshuan spoke with a hesitant expression.
He wanted to tell her everything.
Why he wanted to keep her by his side.
What he was hiding for her sake.
He hadn’t corrected misunderstandings on purpose to keep her close, rather he had been using them.
How could he be a good person with such actions?
Moreover, the secret he kept was related to her safety.
Of course, if she wanted to know, she could.
It was already known to most nobles.
So, Jeshuan tried not to feel guilty.
He had simply not spoken.
But facing Lia’s sincere gaze, his heart wavered.
“From the start, there are no good people to everyone. And good isn’t always right. Regardless of how others or even you, Jeshuan, view yourself, my opinion remains unchanged. And… your attitude towards me was clearly sincere.”
“…I didn’t keep Lia by my side because I really needed a friend.”
With a wavering heart, unable to easily make a decision, Jeshuan finally spoke those words.
It was Jeshuan’s best and courage.
“But it’s true that I need a friend too.”
Lia was never foolish or naive.
So, when she received the Emperor’s proposal, she didn’t take his words at face value.
If Jeshuan really needed a friend, it was simply a matter of making space for him, not such a deal.
But the Emperor didn’t see it that way.
It seemed like there were other considerations.
Yet, Leah accepted the Emperor’s proposal not only because the reward he offered was tempting but also because the Emperor’s words weren’t entirely false.
At least, it was true that Jeshuan had been lonely without anyone to confide in all this time.
Moreover, whatever hidden depths there were, Jeshuan was undoubtedly physically weak.
Even though others might not think so, anyone enduring such painful times, just by looking at them, couldn’t be considered not weak.
Physical pain often gnawed at the mind.
How could anyone say he wasn’t weak?
So, whatever the reason Jeshuan wanted her by his side for, and whatever the Emperor desired, Lia intended to be his friend as agreed upon with the Emperor.
The fact that it was him who made such a proposal meant that he needed it, not someone else.
It was fine to keep that purpose hidden to the end.
As long as it didn’t harm her family, she could pretend not to know to that extent.
After all, she hadn’t simply accepted the Emperor’s proposal out of kindness either.
“I… don’t need a friend.”
It seemed absurd to say such a thing now, after asking to be friends, but Jeshuan said it nonetheless.
Yes, what he need now isn’t a friend but a sedative to calm his impending outburst.
Jeshuan saw that potential in Lia and only wanted to keep her tied to him under the guise of friendship for that reason.
“If Jeshuan says so, then it must be true.”
Lia didn’t bother to refute Jeshuan’s words.
She couldn’t help but recognize the myriad of emotions hidden in his efforts to assert himself.
In truth, he didn’t need a friend, but he believed he didn’t. However, even if she told him now, he wouldn’t easily accept it.
“…….”
With a casual yet dignified tone, Lia’s words were uttered, Jeshuan simply remained silent.
“But even if that’s the case, I’m willing to try being Jeshuan’s friend. You said it yourself, we’re each other’s first friends.”
“…Yes, we were.”
Jeshuan quietly acquiesced, his face betraying the complexity of his emotions.
“Under the name ‘friend,’ it doesn’t matter what we’re hiding. Anyway, friendship… naturally evolves, doesn’t it? Whether our relationship will simply be a friendship born out of a transaction or become a true bond where we can share our hearts depends on Jeshuan.”
Wasn’t that what relationships were originally about?
When hearts connect, when there is sincerity, relationships naturally form and flourish.
“Won’t you regret becoming friends with me?”
“As I’ve said before, there’s no life without regrets. Everyone regrets.”
Living life by repeating regrets over choices made or the unknown future due to choices not taken, isn’t that life?
“It might not be a good choice for you. The title of Crown Prince is but an empty name. Instead, there’s a high possibility it will burden you and your family.”
Because many nobles harbored resentment towards her for being friendly towards him and for being close to him.
The dissatisfaction of such nobles had a high potential to hinder Lia’s future endeavors.
“Friendship isn’t about weighing benefits. At least, not for me. So… everything depends on Jeshuan.”
Whether it will be a friendship based on such profit-seeking or become a true friend who will stand by each other, even enduring trials.
Jeshuan remained silent at Lia’s words.
Thus, the two remained silent until they arrived at the Star Palace.
***
After possibly tumultuous times, Lia boarded the carriage to return to the ducal estate.
However, there was someone already seated in the carriage before Lia took her place.
“Khal?”
Lia looked at Cassian with a slightly puzzled and bewildered expression as he sat confidently in what seemed to be her carriage.
“You’re late.”
Cassian said somewhat petulantly.
He had been sitting in the carriage, waiting to go back with Lia, for quite some time.
Just before he got tired of waiting and decided to come fetch Lia himself.
What on earth could that annoying little brat have to talk about so much?
