I Picked Up My Father Who Left Home 41
“I’m a bit worried.”
Jeshuan, suppressing his complicated emotions, casually remarked.
“Worried? About what?”
“I’m concerned that the relationship between Shulia and your guardian might be strained because of me. After all, the guardian might not be pleased that Shulia is coming to see me.”
“If my relationship is fragile to that extent, it would have strained sooner or later, not just this time. Besides… Anyway, he gave his permission.”
It was a strange conviction.
A conviction that her relationship with Cassian couldn’t be strained to this degree.
In reality, even if it strained, their relationship was based on a transaction. What she sought from Cassian was just the nominal role of a guardian, and Cassian had set staying in the Duke’s mansion as a condition.
Of course, their current relationship seemed affectionate and close for such an arrangement.
“Permission… he gave?”
“Yes, well, he got a little upset, but he managed to calm down, so it’s fine.”
Jeshuan had a peculiar expression at Lia’s response.
Although he hadn’t directly observed the two, Lia’s reaction when mentioning the guardian hinted at a quite close relationship between them.
In that case, Lia wouldn’t be allowed to come to see him.
Lia might be oblivious, but the guardian wasn’t.
Especially if the guardian was the Grand Duke… there was even less chance of permission.
Considering the Grand Duke’s personality, he wouldn’t simply let someone act against his will.
In that sense, his earlier speculation seemed to be off the mark.
Moreover… the phrase ‘got upset.’
It was a term completely incompatible with the Grand Duke.
He was far from such expressions. If he didn’t like something, he would simply break it, but ‘getting upset’…
‘It’s fortunate for me.’
If Lia’s guardian turned out to be the Grand Duke, Jeshuan would be in a bit of a predicament as well.
Getting involved with the Grand Duke was uncomfortable for Jeshuan too.
Especially considering the Grand Duke’s personality, if he found out someone was trying to use someone dear to him, he wouldn’t stand idly by.
Dealing with the Grand Duke was difficult even for Jeshuan, and he didn’t want to engage with the Grand Duke in that manner.
“Well, that’s fortunate. Shulia wouldn’t want to be in trouble because of me.”
More precisely, the situation where he could no longer keep her by his side.
“You don’t need to worry, Jeshuan. In the end, it was my choice. So, I’ll have to bear the consequences.”
Although it might sound somewhat cold, Lia was just stating her thoughts.
Jeshuan didn’t force her; even the Emperor had given her a clear choice.
He promised an attractive reward to ensure that she would fulfill his request, but it was still a choice.
Nevertheless, even if that’s the case, she could have refused if she disliked it.
“… Maybe you’ll come to regret that choice.”
Jeshuan unconsciously spoke these words.
It wasn’t that he now wished for her to let go of his hand.
It wasn’t that he no longer wanted her by his side.
Just looking into her clear, honest eyes made him feel a bit… sorry. She cared.
Lia stepping into his swamp without knowing anything.
That’s why.
What he said impulsively was somewhat to justify his own actions.
Perhaps it was a cowardly act to rationalize his own behavior.
When the day comes that she regrets her choice, it could be a way to say, ‘Didn’t I tell you so?’ to withdraw.
“That’s something we don’t know. And even if I regrets it, every choice comes with regrets, no matter what you choose.”
Conversely, even if she had refused the Emperor’s request, she might have regretted it due to the unsatisfactory compensation offered.
That’s why Lia wasn’t afraid of regret. She didn’t worry about regretting her choice.
“Shulia is strong.”
Truly upright.
Even if he didn’t know she was the granddaughter of the Shubaren family, she naturally resembled and reminded him of them.
“It’s better to hear than the word ‘weak.'”
In Jeshuan’s admiring muttering, Lia responded with a slightly satisfied smile. Despite acknowledging her weakness, she was the head of a household with responsibilities.
There was nothing good about appearing weak to others.
Her weakness wouldn’t be of any help in protecting the family.
“Shulia will truly become an excellent head of the family. She’s already the head of family, but…”
Someone so upright, facing her situation with dignity, couldn’t become anything but an outstanding family head.
Choosing a guardian and carrying on the family must have been quite a struggle.
At the age of twelve, fulfilling the duties of the family head was no easy task.
Nevertheless, she achieved it. She was making an effort for him.
“Thank you. Rather than that, I should start heading back to the dukedom now.”
They thought they had chatted briefly, but quite a bit of time had passed.
There were still tasks to handle back at the dukedom, so it was time to return to the mansion.
If she returned late, there might be a whining young guardian waiting for her.
“Time has already flown by.”
Jeshuan’s face showed a hint of surprise.
Perhaps because their time together was so comfortable.
Jeshuan didn’t feel the passage of time.
So it was fascinating.
This was the first time he spent such a long time in conversation with someone without feeling uncomfortable.
“Yes, let’s meet again in a week.”
“Sure, take care, Shulia.”
Setting aside any regrets, Jeshuan calmly bid farewell to Lia.
But just as they exchanged greetings and Lia was about to turn away…
“Ugh.”
A suppressed groan escaped from Jeshuan’s lips. Red blood shimmered between tightly clenched lips.
“Jeshuan, are you alright?”
“… I’m okay.”
Jeshuan, swallowing down the welling blood with a pained expression, tried to appear unaffected. But Lia, who had already seen the blood between his lips, couldn’t accept that.
“You’re not fine! You were trying to vomit blood just now!”
“This is nothing.”
As if trying to calm Lia’s alarmed heart, Jeshuan spoke with a gentle voice. Even though blood continued to threaten to overflow from his throat, it was genuinely not a big deal.
“It’s okay at this level.”
Vomiting blood was within the realm of the ordinary for him.
In this context, it was remarkably calm.
‘Still, it seems to have helped.’
Judging by the fact that it stopped at this level.
Typically, he might have felt some forewarning, but until the blood surged, he felt no pain.
Experiencing the unique sensation of vomiting blood without the excruciating pain of his body being tormented and incinerated was intriguing for Jeshuan.
“It can’t be okay! I’ll call a healer right away!”
Speaking as if it were her duty, Lia, agitated, tried to call a healer urgently. But Jeshuan stopped her.
“No need for a healer. They won’t be able to help.”
It was a side effect of his overwhelmingly potent ability. Dealing with it was beyond the capabilities of a healer.
If a healer could have resolved it, he would have sought treatment long ago.
“But still, getting a diagnosis or something…”
“It’s useless. I know my condition well. And at this level… it’s bearable. I’m fine.”
Suppressing and swallowing the continuously rising blood made the metallic taste persist in Jeshuan’s mouth, but he was grateful for the fact that he could get through the day without any major issues.
“… Has it been like this often before?”
Lia, unable to ease her worries even with Jeshuan’s words, asked with a helpless expression.
“Yeah, from my very young days, so long ago that I can barely remember.”
In that gaze filled with concern and warmth, Jeshuan spoke as if seeking a fragment of her sympathy.
“Has your health always been weak since then?”
Lia asked, recalling the words she heard from the Emperor.
“… Probably. I can’t recall a single day in my memories without pain.”
Feeling a twinge of conscience even mentioning his frailty, Jeshuan expressed it indirectly.
“It must have been very difficult for you.”
Even expressing it as very difficult seemed insufficient.
If he had endured from the very first day of that agonizing pain she witnessed, words couldn’t truly capture the extent.
“One gets used to it. No, I’m already used to it.”
While it was difficult to fathom how one could get used to such pain, at least the familiarity with that situation was established.
Hence, he no longer harbored resentment towards anyone.
That was because he had become accustomed to that specific agony.
He had abandoned cursing unknown deities, not even knowing if they existed.
Now, even that was too exhausting for him.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Even if it was just holding hands like last time. Lia would willingly do so if it brought him even a bit of relief.
As someone who found it difficult to turn away from those in need, Lia’s personality made it challenging.
“Just stay by my side. Just a little.”
Merely spending the day with her had caused a shift in his usual symptoms. His condition was noticeably quieter than usual.
So, just her presence was bound to be helpful to him.
“Of course.”
Lia simply nodded and took a seat beside Jeshuan. She had decided to ignore propriety just for this moment.
“If it’s tough, lean on me.”
Sitting beside the Crown Prince without permission was impolite, but Lia chose to act ignorant this time.
She didn’t want to sit idly by, watching him in pain.
Jeshuan didn’t object to her actions, as there was no reason to refuse.
Soon, he leaned on her shoulder as Lia suggested.
Suppressing and swallowing the blood was a bit strenuous.
Feeling the warmth of another person, Jeshuan expressed a complex emotion that was hard to put into words.
It was like his face, hidden behind a mask, was slowly being revealed.
The mask he had worn for so long seemed to peel away, revealing a face with indescribable complexities.
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