Chapter 36
I don’t know if it was his whispered voice or his hand still playing with my hair, but a tickle ran down my spine.
… Can I just let go of this?
The words I couldn’t bring myself to say stuck in my mouth.
My suspicions deepened as I realized that even if I did, they wouldn’t listen to me if I asked them to send me back to Ashtad.
‘Besides, even if they did, they’d be too stingy.’
My mind was definitely leaning toward not telling them, especially since I knew that if I asked for money, they’d probably find out what I was going to do with it, so it was better to keep my mouth shut than to make a fool of myself.
“So… Do you think I can get in touch with the family I told you about?”
I thought for a moment, then opened my mouth cautiously. I was glad he’d mentioned the wager we’d made at the hunting festival.
“Contact with family?”
Thierry’s face stiffened slightly. It was as if he’d heard something he didn’t want to hear.
He ran his hand through his hair, as if avoiding my gaze, and then slowly withdrew it.
Just in time, a gust of wind shot through the trees, causing the bushes to sway.
As the ends of my hair, finally free of his grasp, sailed backward in the wind, I grabbed the brim of my bonnet, which was swaying slightly less than it had a moment before, and steadied it.
Opening my eyes, which I’d squeezed shut for a moment to avoid the wind blowing straight at me, I saw Thierry’s regretful face through the flickering light.
I closed and opened my eyes to make sure I was seeing things correctly.
‘Why does he have that look on his face?’
I wasn’t mistaken. For a moment, he had a look of unease on his face.
“You want to reach out?”
After a brief pause, the words came out hesitantly. The mood was unnerving, but he’d told me to say what I wanted, and he’d mentioned a bet, and it was something I’d have to say at some point, so I gathered my courage and opened my mouth cautiously.
“I just thought it would be nice to say hello, since they probably worried.”
He’s not an adolescent boy, and I didn’t want to make things difficult for him with his overly dynamic mood swings.
I prayed that my words sounded gruff and kind.
“…”
I felt the silence fill the air.
‘I can’t tell him what I want if he’s going to hate it so much. I can’t really deal with his moodiness…’
I glanced at him nervously, worried about his humanity and then his moody personality. There’s no reason to be stubborn when he’s not in a positive mood, and I’m just going to tell him that I’m done. I was about to open my mouth to say something when
“…!”
Suddenly, Thierry grabbed my fingertips like he was starving. His grip was tenuous, like his mood, neither firm nor loose.
“If you want to contact them, you can, but I can’t let you go.”
… Suddenly?
Was he really this nervous that I was going to ask him to send me back to Ashtad now?
I swallowed a sigh, feeling a little out of sorts. Well, maybe I was overreacting, but Thierry could see a lot of things he could use me for, and he didn’t want to put me in a position where he’d have to send me back.
‘I wasn’t going to ask him to let me go anyway, so I’ll just go over…’
I wasn’t going to force myself to go back to Ashtad anyway; I only wanted to leave Podia because of the situation that threatened my life, and if that wasn’t enough, I didn’t mind staying in Podia.
In fact, I’m more familiar with Podia than Ashtad.
I’ve only lived in Podia for six years… Nevertheless, my memories of Korea, where I lived for a long time in my previous life, were already fading. To a certain extent, even when I tried to recall my family’s faces, they were now blurred.
At first, when I realized this, I was saddened by this fact and missed my family.
But I was dead anyway. Holding on to the memories of my past life would only make it harder for me.
That’s why I focused on my life with Thierry, deliberately trying to forget about it. Of course, it allowed me to slowly let them go from my mind. Now all I want is for them to be happy.
‘…That’s weird. Why am I suddenly thinking about this?’
I shrugged and turned to Thierry, who was waiting impatiently for my answer, familiarly pushing aside the ruminations of my old life.
“I know my place, and I would never do anything to offend His Majesty.”
Thierry’s jaw dropped at my weak words. His lips curled into a fat smile, and for some reason, I felt like he was looking at me.
There was a moment of silence, and I could feel Rudd’s eyes on my leg. He laid down on the ground and wagged his tail gently as if to wait patiently.
Strangely, I kept seeing Rudd and Thierry overlapping, and it was almost embarrassing.
As I frowned, not knowing what was going on, a small sigh escaped Thierry’s lips.
“It’s not that…”
He mumbled to himself, then lowered his gaze as if he had no choice but to take a step back.
“I’ll let you get in contact with…”
“Thank you!”
I couldn’t help but smile. He must have been nervous.
I was glad to be able to say hello, even if it meant I had to keep using this body for the rest of my life. I may be possessed, but I have responsibilities.
“I’ll tell Bakken.”
Thierry’s eyes flashed with bitterness as he rose from the floor.
“Speaking of which, how are your preparations for the Debutante coming along?”
“Ah… The dress you gave me before is good enough, and I was just trying to choose between them.”
The bitterness in my tone was almost like resentment, so I was about to take a closer look when the topic changed. I quickly responded to the change of subject, and Thierry seemed unconcerned.
“If you need anything, tell Bakken. No, I’ll take care of it myself.”
“What? You don’t have to do that!”
“… Why. Because you don’t want to?”
For a moment, he mocked coldly, the sharp edge he’d forgotten in his friendly demeanor returning.
“No, it’s nothing like that…”
“Take it if you don’t want to, because I’m the Princess’s partner for the day.”
“His Majesty?”
His smile faded slowly.
“Yep. You’ll be with me.”
His voice was firm. His dark eyes, sunken into a face that refused to budge, flashed back for a moment.
I looked up at him, puzzled, and was met with a pair of deep, unreadable eyes. Their gazes locked, and for a moment, it was impossible to break.
***
I started to get busy preparing for the Debutante, and I saw Maud several times in between.
We didn’t say much, just greeted each other and talked about our daily lives. But that alone made me feel like I was closing the distance between us.
It wasn’t just me, though, because her stern, stern face started to smile at me.
I wondered if she was sensing some sort of childhood nostalgia in me, and whenever she gave me a wistful look, I had the urge to blurt out, “Lari!”
“Princess, your dress designer, Valentina, has arrived.”
“Yes, let her in.”
After taking my measurements and showing me several dresses to get a feel for my taste, Valentina brought me the finished product in just three days.
“May I see the Princess?”
“Welcome, I know it must have been hard for you with the tight deadline.”
As if she’d been gnawing on herself, Valentina’s cheeks had grown hollow in the intervening days. However, she smiles fondly, her eyes shining with determination, unlike my concern.
“Not at all,” she said, “I’ve been happily working away, oblivious to the passage of time, and if not now, when else could I make a dress for my muse!”
Indeed. Valentina was literally ecstatic as soon as she saw me during our first meeting. Like I was some kind of Princess she’d been dreaming about her whole life.
The more she looked at me, the more she realized that I was the model she had always envisioned, and she was happier than she had been in a long time.
Marie had heard that Valentina was the most famous designer in the Empire, and that she was not always available when noblemen wanted to book her, so it was no wonder that her dresses, which were also fiercely fought over in social circles, became the envy of girls about to make their debut.
‘It’s nice to wear a pretty dress, but it’s all because of Thierry’s breath, so the rumors about me will be worse… I’m going to attract more and more attention…?’
It was the worst thing that could happen to me, because I had to hide myself as much as possible.
‘I wonder if I’ll be okay as it is…’
I put on a coy smile on the outside, but inside I was in tears.
“Princess, I’ve got all the accessories to match your dress, take your time looking at it.”
“Oh, really, you don’t just do dresses, do you?”
“Yes, I do just dresses, but sometimes there are exceptions, and that’s when I have someone as special as you, Princess!”
Valentina clasped her hands together, a dreamy look on her face. I didn’t even have time to respond.
“In fact, before I left the palace last time, I asked His Majesty to allow me to be in charge of the Princess’s grooming, and he graciously agreed, saying he had an eye for it!”
What? That’s a weird thing to say… Thierry said something like that?
“Then he encouraged me to do whatever I wanted, never mind the budget! Ohhhhh… His Majesty must care a lot about you, you’re so beautiful!”
“I… Madame Valentina, there must be some misunderstanding, His Majesty and I don’t have such a close relationship.”
I waved my hands frantically, as if afraid of who might hear. But Valentina seemed to understand my reaction, and she cocked an eyebrow, then snorted.
“Don’t worry, this Valentina’s mouth is the heaviest in the Empire, enough to hang my best dresses on!”
“No, that’s not really true.”
“Ugh… I know all about it.”
I don’t think… knows anything.
