[I think, therefore I am]
I don’t why I keep thinking about this particularly famous quote when all I want to do is get rid of my thoughts and disappear.
‘How did this happen?’
I sat with my arms folded and tilted my head.
All of this happened after I read a book.
I used to live in an era with 1 million unemployed young adults in which, I, an ordinary job seeker, also belonged. But my future looked duller than the others.
And since I was an orphan and only graduated from high school, getting a job was as hard as picking the stars. Even without having a family or a decent and solid academic background.
I luckily got a job at a small company. The salary was not high, but I was still a full-time worker with all four major insurances policies. And when I started to think that I finally found stability, the company suddenly went bankrupt. To be more precise, the CEO’s partner ran away with all the company funds.
And because I was also taking care of the orphanage, in fear of worrying them, I couldn’t let the news reach them.
In fact, as an adult, I did no longer belong to the orphanage.
I could’ve easily left and not looked back like others but I couldn’t turn a blind eye to the remaining children that I would leave in that dangerous place. It felt like I was leaving them in place similar to my previous home.
So, I desperately hid my unemployment and made it look like I was still working when I was in fact looking for a new job.
I wandered from place to place trying to find a job.
However, regardless of my efforts, the orphanage got shut down and the children were left alone in the streets.
I was pretty relieved when the number of mouths to feed decreased but it didn’t make me feel any less lost or helpless.
I must have felt that was because of the unconscious guilt of not being able to help them.
Since there was no reason for me to make money, I wandered around the streets without working.
At that time, there was a, 24 hours open, comic book store where I use to spend most of my time. There I was able to both sleep and eat while reading with just a small amount of money.
I would sit there to eat and read all day long.
One day, after getting sick of reading comics, one novel caught my eye. It was an unfamiliar genre but I enjoyed reading it.
Its title was “ The Indelible Scar.”
Unlike the abstract title, the content of the book was quite familiar, as it had the typical cliché plot.
The male and female leads were from the same orphanage, and the director of that orphanage was tremendously evil. Not only bullying the children but also making them take part in crimes.
The scar mentioned in the title actually referred to the one the female lead had on her thigh, caused by the head of the orphanage.
Ironically, the scar was the initiator of the novel’s plot and allowed the male lead, who had been away from her, to recognize her.
And because he was the male lead, after he rebelled and had become the emperor, he looked for the director so he could take his revenge.
In the end, the head of the orphanage got dragged to the palace and torn into pieces in front of the female lead.
Upon reading how she died, I frowned at the detailed description. Yes, she did unforgivable things but her death was close to barbarity if not wickedness.
The story finished with the main characters happily ever after.
That is all I remember.
‘I’m doomed.’
Undoubtedly, it was a great book, but…maybe it was because I read it? Sitll…
“Why I did end up becoming the head of the orphanage?”
I couldn’t remember how I happened to end up in the book. I only remember running out of money and leaving the bookstore screaming but nothing comes to mind after that.
‘Did I die while screaming on the street?’
Since I had stopped working and working for my goals. I wasn’t expecting my end to be good, but dying while screaming was a bit much. I thought that I was going to die alone and starving which, to be honest, I would’ve chosen.
‘I should actually be glad that my death was painless?!’
Well, I was thankful since even if I would’ve accepted a lonely and starving death, I wouldn’t want a painful one.
‘Anyway, it’s not currently my biggest concern. Because now I’m destined to be torn into pieces by the male lead.’
Am I cursed?!
How could I reincarnate into a novel character that is as good as dead?!
I literally just died, I’m not letting this happen again! So I’ll have to make sure not to die in the future.
‘I won’t let what happened in the original story occur!’
As I was thinking of a plan for the future, the clock announced 12 pm.
I got up from my seat.
It was time for the kids to eat.
