Thank you Not a Cofee Lover for the coffee.
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“What’s that… So you did not lose interest in me? And said those things and left back then…”
At my words, Clyde faintly furrowed his brow and eventually let out a bitter smile.
“…How much easier everything would have been if that had been the case.”
“…….”
I unconsciously held my breath at his self-deprecating words.
“Actually, there were plenty of good reasons. You lied to me. You broke your promises. You deceived me over and over and over again…. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let go of you, I couldn’t forget you. I couldn’t do that, so I spent nine years clinging to you, and this is the result.”
“…….”
I found it hard to breathe under his intense gaze.
“So don’t even think about running away this time. I won’t let you go, no matter what excuses you come up with.”
“…….”
I bit my lip in silence.
“Even so, did it really have to be this way? Surely there was another way; I told you I would come find you if you waited.”
“How could I trust your words?”
“…Clyde.”
Clyde’s gaze remained as icy as before.
“You’ve betrayed me twice. First, you made me wait for seven years, and now, for two years. When are you planning to find me? Did you really intend to find me? In the end, would we have ever crossed paths again if I hadn’t come looking for you?”
“No, Clyde. This time, I really…”
“You’re all talk. It’s always been me who’s missing you, always clinging to you, never able to get through an hour without you; it’s all me. Just me.”
“…….”
No, that wasn’t true. I missed him the whole time. I couldn’t count how many times in the past two years I had dreamt of him.
But in Clyde’s eyes, there was no trace of trust left for me.
I couldn’t bring myself to be indignant or feel unjust about it.
Whatever the reason, I had repeatedly lied to Clyde and deceived him. That was an undeniable fact.
“But… I still don’t understand. Did so many people have to die because of me? Couldn’t you have come to find me secretly like you did two years ago?”
“It couldn’t be done that way. I confirmed that back then. I didn’t want to repeat the same mistake.”
“…….”
“And there were no casualties.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I didn’t kill a single person on my way here.”
I couldn’t help but be taken aback by his words.
“No one died? How…?”
“It’s the same as when I went to find you at the ruins before. I just incapacitated them, but I didn’t kill them. Of course, some of them who resisted or tried to escape were summarily executed, but at least I didn’t personally kill anyone.”
“…Is that true?”
“Yes.”
“Is it because of the promise we made before?”
“Yes, as foolish as it sounds.”
I shook my head vigorously in response to Clyde’s muttered words.
“No, you’re not. Thank you, Clyde. I really appreciate it.”
“If you come with me, the army will immediately withdraw. I’ll release all the captives. Then there will never be more unnecessary victims like your worries.”
“…….”
I hesitated and couldn’t respond right away.
Then Clyde chuckled.
“No need to hesitate. This isn’t a suggestion., I’m never going to let you go.”
“…….”
As if Clyde had nothing more to say, he got up from his seat.
“Wait, Clyde.”
I urgently called out to him.
“Okay, I’ll do as you say. But before that, please let me go home once so I can say goodbye to my family, even if it’s the last time…”
“No.”
“It won’t take long; I can use the teleportation spell and be back in no time. Please, Clyde.”
“I said no.”
“Clyde, please. My family doesn’t even know I’m here. They’ll worry if I suddenly disappear. Please. I’ll definitely come back, just one last time…”
“No. I don’t believe your promises anymore.”
“…….”
I couldn’t say anything, feeling my heart clench in my chest.
Clyde walked over to a corner of the tent and retrieved something from a large box.
When he came back, he held a black metal ring in his hand.
“Clyde, what’s that….”
Before I could finish my sentence, Clyde placed it around my neck. It clicked and locked behind my neck.
“What, what are you doing, Clyde… Ugh!”
In an instant, I felt a sensation as if all the strength in my body was being drained by the choker. I staggered, and Clyde caught me.
“It’s a binding that seals your magic; you won’t be able to use any magic now.”
As Clyde said, I could feel that the mana circulation within my body was completely blocked.
I had lived my entire life as a mage. Magic was both my weapon and my defense, as well as an essential tool for my daily life. Therefore, I couldn’t help but feel a level of fear and powerlessness similar to losing one’s freedom, just like an ordinary person.
I hurriedly felt the back of my neck, but there was no clasp or latch on the choker.
“…Why…why would you do this to me….”
“Because I don’t know when you’ll try to get away from me. Whether it’s teleportation magic, transformation magic, or invisibility, I’ve just preemptively blocked your means to deceive and elude me.”
“No, Clyde. You didn’t have to go this far…”
“I told you. I don’t trust you anymore.”
“…….”
Unable to endure it any longer, tears welled up in an instant. I lowered my head and let the tears fall.
Clyde’s expression contorted.
“Don’t cry.”
“Ugh, h-hic…”
“I said don’t cry!”
Clyde rushed toward me. I collapsed onto the bed, with him grabbing my shoulders.
“C-Clyde… it hurts!”
“You brought this on yourself. If you hadn’t deceived me, if you hadn’t left me without a word, I wouldn’t have had to go this far!”
“Clyde… hic…”
I turned my head away, as if avoiding Clyde. He grabbed my chin and forcibly made me meet his gaze.
Closing my eyes tightly, the teardrops that had been clinging to my eyelashes rolled down to my ear.
“…I told you not to cry, damn it….”
Clyde stared at me, his face a mess, and then, out of nowhere, he kissed me.
It was a kiss that felt like it would swallow not just my lips, but all of me.
“No… please…”
Clyde’s hot tongue parted my lips, invading the depths of my mouth and tangling with my own tongue as if to draw it out of hiding.
It was a kiss that was both passionate and desperate. It felt like if I didn’t comply, I would die right there, like a person who had been wandering the desert for days, on the brink of dehydration. I could do nothing but sob, unable to resist him, unable to respond.
The tears wouldn’t stop.
I couldn’t erase the thought that Clyde had become like this because of me, just as he had said.
I kept pushing Clyde away, and that’s why he had become so desperate.
In truth, I didn’t want this either. I didn’t want to lie to him; I didn’t want to leave him.
I wanted Clyde, too. Every time he held me close and looked at me with warm eyes, every time he gently caressed my body with careful and affectionate touches, deep in my heart, I hoped for more.
That’s why I couldn’t bear the sadness we were feeling now.
I didn’t want my first kiss with Clyde to be like this.
Clyde, who had persistently explored my lips, finally pulled away from me. I jerked my chin up and let out a sharp breath.
I felt a warm sensation near my abdomen. Before I knew it, Clyde’s hand was under my chemise.
“No, Clyde, stop…!”
I tried to push Clyde away in shock, but he seized both of my wrists with one hand and pushed my arms above my head, leaving me unable to resist his other hand exploring my body.
“Ahhh…!”
Underneath my clothes, his rough hand grazed my skin, causing me to arch my back and twist involuntarily.
“No, please, stop…!”
Clyde silenced me with another kiss, and the unfamiliar yet sensitive sensations running up and down my body made me feel like I was losing my mind.
At some point, my chemise curled up almost to my chest.
“Ugh… Ah, please…”
I turned my head to the side and sobbed quietly.
“…….”
Eventually, I felt the hand that had been holding my wrist slowly let go.
Guys… I don’t know what to think about all this? Man I’m sad about how their romance is unfolding… I was really looking forward to seeing the romance… then it became scary ;-; I want to cry for the protagonist and because he is so broken
Fr. I vv dislike how Clyde’s blaming it all on her because even though she had been hot and cold towards him, we can’t erase the fact that she had done so much for Clyde, and it’s just sad how our MC just turned into a back burner that constantly thinks all of it was her fault, and imo the biggest drive why she wants to stay with Clyde is because he felt pity for him.
Our MC kept giving but Clyde’s just always kept on taking, and couldn’t even fathom the sacrifices that MC had done for him, and almost always he didn’t do anything that could help her situation.