“I thought you had no intention of ever seeing me again. That you lied from the beginning with that intention…”
“…….”
Truth be told, that was somewhat accurate.
But I couldn’t bring myself to admit it as a fact, nor could I deny it outright. So, I just stayed silent.
As the time we spent holding each other grew longer, a belated sense of awkwardness crept in.
“Aren’t you going to eat more? You said it was delicious. Eat some more. You used to finish off a whole pie in no time back then.”
I tried to pull away from Clyde as I said this. However, he didn’t release his tight grip on me.
“Later.”
“…….”
Lately, whenever I visited Clyde, he would always hold me like this at least once a day. It felt like he was using my own words against me, the ones where I said it’s okay as long as he holds me quietly.
Every time he held me, Clyde would stay silent and hold his breath.
It felt like he was concentrating on the fact that he was holding me, paying attention to the sensation of our bodies against each other.
However, I never once thought that Clyde seemed comfortable. He always appeared desperate and urgent.
It was as if a person drowning in water was clinging to someone rescuing them, desperately trying to stop the passage of time at this very moment.
With Clyde being like that, I couldn’t help but surrender my body gently to him.
But that didn’t mean I could just be there without any thoughts. Since last time, I had become more conscious of Clyde as a man than ever before.
The sensations of his touch and the feel of his lips against my skin were vividly engraved in my mind. Being so close to Clyde like this, I couldn’t help but be acutely aware of that past event.
“You smell nice, Ruby.”
“Oh? Is that so?”
“Yeah. It’s a sweet smell.”
Clyde leaned in, pressing his cheek against mine and took a deep breath. An instant tingling sensation mixed with a shiver ran up my spine.
I awkwardly smiled and tried to brush it off, saying,
“Maybe it’s the smell of pie, since I baked it just before I got here….”
“No, it’s your scent.”
“…….”
In response to his lazy yet deliberate whisper, my face heated up uncontrollably.
“After all, your sense of smell seems to have fully returned. I’m really glad. But why is your eyesight still not back yet….”
“Yeah, that’s true. But it doesn’t really matter.”
“What do you mean? It doesn’t matter? You can’t live like this forever.”
“Then you can keep coming to visit me like this.”
“…….”
It didn’t sound like a joke at all. It was undoubtedly sincere.
“…I’ll keep coming back even after your eyesight returns. Didn’t I promise you the other day that I’d never leave you alone again?”
“…….”
Clyde didn’t say anything, but somehow, I felt like I knew what he was thinking.
I had broken a promise to Clyde once before. It wasn’t unreasonable for him to have trouble trusting me.
That’s why he held me desperately in every moment, as if it were his last.
“…Alright stop and eat the pie now, Clyde. It’s getting cold.”
Thanks to the warming spell I cast on the basket, the pie was still warm as if it had just been baked. But now, as time passed, it was clearly starting to cool.
“Come on. Don’t you think it wouldn’t taste that great if you didn’t eat it now?”
At my words, Clyde pulled away from me.
His slightly lowered pupils looked so lonely that I had to fight the impulse to hug him again.
“If you want to eat something other than pumpkin pie, just let me know. I’ll make it for you.”
“You’ve become a cooking master in the past seven years.”
“No. The only thing I still know how to make is pumpkin pie. But well, what’s the big deal? Cooking is all the same. Prepare the ingredients, bake, steam, or boil, and it’s done.”
Clyde smirked at my confident statement. Seeing his smile, I was surprised at how much relief I felt.
“So? Do you have any other favorite foods besides pumpkin pie?”
Clyde thought for a moment and then slowly spoke up.
“…roasted chicken, maybe.”
“Roasted chicken?”
“Yeah. Roasted chicken with butter spread over it. My mom used to make it for me every birthday.”
I nodded quickly. I wasn’t well-versed in cooking, but it didn’t seem too complicated.
“Do you have any more information about the dish? Any additional ingredients or spices?”
“I’m not sure about that. I think there was pepper. And it was a bit tangy, so probably salt…”
“Silly. Of course, salt would be used. What dish doesn’t have salt?”
“Well, other than that, I don’t know… Oh.”
“Did you remember something? What is it?”
“It was crispy on the outside and moist on the inside.”
“…….”
Of course, it would be like that for roast chicken.
“Don’t worry so much, it’s not a complicated dish. I’m sure you can make it roughly.”
“What are you saying? I’m going to make it for you, Clyde. How could I make it roughly?”
I frowned and said,
“Moreover, if possible, I want to capture the taste your mother used to make as much as I can. That’s how it will have meaning.”
“…….”
Clyde’s crimson eyes held a strange glint.
“Don’t say things like that.”
“What? Why?”
“Because when you say that, it makes me want to hold you again.”
“…….”
“Is it okay if I hug you?”
“Huh? No, just a moment….”
But before I could finish my sentence, Clyde hugged me again.
“Ruby.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re all I have.”
“…….”
I gasped in his arms, not knowing what to do.
As if measuring his position, he gently touched my cheek and then kissed me. Unintentionally, I tensed and my shoulders shot up.
“C-Clyde.”
“I know. I won’t do anything more than that. Just this much.”
“…….”
Saying he wouldn’t do more, he continued to stroke my hair and cheek slowly. With each touch near my neck and ear, I involuntarily stiffened.
While Clyde might be touching me innocently with pure affection, like he would with a puppy or a doll, I couldn’t draw a line and just simply accept it.
‘At this rate, I might lose control and attack first…’
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Just before Eila left that day, Clyde said, “Actually, my birthday is next month.”
“Really? When is it?”
Eila asked, her eyes widening.
“October 12th.”
“Great. Then, I’ll make roast chicken for that day. We’ll have a party. Your birthday party.”
“Can you take a day off that day?”
“Yeah. There’s still plenty of time left, so it should be okay if we discuss it in advance.”
Even though it wasn’t her own birthday, Eila seemed more excited than Clyde.
“What should we do that day? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do? Oh, maybe we should go out?”
“… Do I have to transform into a woman again for that?”
“I guess so, huh?”
“Never mind then, I’ll just stay home.”
“Oh come on. I like you even in your female form. You’re pretty.”
“…I don’t like it.”
When Clyde muttered with a grumpy expression, Eila chuckled as if finding it amusing.
“If you want something as a gift, think about it in advance.”
Eila left with an even more excited demeanor than usual.
In truth, there was only one thing Clyde wanted from Eila, then and now. However, no matter how affectionate and lenient Eila was towards Clyde, it seemed that she wouldn’t allow that.
Left alone, Clyde closed his eyes and thought of Eila.
He remembered the sensation of her soft body and the way his face turned red as if surprised every time he touched her. As he thought about it, he could feel his body getting warmer.
He wondered how long he could hold out.
As each day passed, it became increasingly difficult to suppress the desire to take everything from her.
But he couldn’t do that. No matter how I got her back, I couldn’t ruin it. Never….
Clyde opened his eyes and looked at his own hands.
Unlike when he was with Eila earlier, his pupils were focused and clear.
His vision had been fully restored for quite a while now.
It had come back around the same time as his other senses.
But he pretended otherwise. He acted as if he still couldn’t see, especially in front of Eila.
He was confident that as long as he appeared not fully recovered, she would stay by his side.
Conversely, it also meant that without his own shortcomings, he wouldn’t have anything to keep Eila with him.
No matter how many promises Eila made to not leave, and no matter how tightly he held her as if trying to fuse with her, he couldn’t let go of the fear that he might lose her again someday.
So he had to endure.
He couldn’t be greedy anymore.
If he became more demanding, he might end up losing everything he had now.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A few days later.
During the daily meeting where all the members of the research team gathered, Lord Colliwood spoke up.
“I have received word that His Highness the Crown Prince is planning to visit Andela next month. It seems he intends to inspect the ruins personally and encourage the research team.”
Among the research team members, there was a small stir.
Andela was a city that was a two-week journey one way from the capital, Trachen. The round trip took a whole month. The idea of a royal figure like the Crown Prince visiting for mere encouragement was quite daunting.
So, among the research team members, there were various expressions showing their contemplation of the true purpose of this visit. I was no exception.
However, my thoughts were completely different.
‘…Could it be that he’s coming because of me?’
𝑺𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒐-𝒇𝒊
