I Lied to the Male Lead with My Pinky Finger on the Line

 

 

“I did feel some resentment. But it wasn’t because of that. It was because you didn’t keep your promise to meet me again.”

 

“…I couldn’t help it. At that time, even if I did not lie, I really didn’t have the means to come see you, Clyde.”

 

“There could have been a way for us to meet again.”

 

“That was impossible. I couldn’t even go out in front of my house without permission, let alone travel all the way to Heremos. And you coming back to Trachen would have been risky…”

 

“…….”

 

Clyde kept his gaze fixed on the fireplace and remained silent.

 

Come to think of it, today he hadn’t turned to look at me even once.

 

『Because you’re so beautiful. I just can’t help but want to hold you, touch you… I can’t control myself. That’s why.』

 

‘Could it be that he’s deliberately avoiding looking at me because of that? I did tell him not to say such things again…’

 

Of course, I was still transforming into my thirteen-year-old self, as I always did.

 

But if Clyde was truly avoiding my gaze for that reason, I felt so sorry for him.

 

My heart ached with remorse and regret.

 

But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to look at me.

 

Those words would imply that it’s okay to hug and touch me.

 

I didn’t want to hurt him like that anymore.

 

“…Clyde.”

 

“Why?”

 

“About your mother… Is she really safe and well?”

 

“Why do you suddenly bring that up?”

 

“I’m just worried about her… Is she okay on her own while you’re so far away?”

 

Clyde fell silent for a moment, then spoke slowly.

 

“You don’t have to worry about that. Heremos is a peaceful place, and its inhabitants are all good people.”

 

Even in the original story, Heremos was described as a friendly and tranquil village. It’s a place where everyone has a story, and Sylphia was accepted with no questions asked about her identity.

 

If Clyde and Hena had spent happy days there, it would have been truly wonderful. If he had a place to return to after leaving me, there was nothing more I could ask for.

 

However, despite this, I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that Clyde might be lying.

 

‘If only I could go to Heremos with Clyde….’

 

If I could see Hena’s face in person, I would feel reassured. I also had a desire to meet her again, if possible.

 

But Heremos was far away from here in Andela, nearly a month’s journey one way.

 

In fact, the opportunity to come to Andela was almost like a miracle. Hoping for a similar chance again seemed like unreasonable greed.

 

“And anyway, I plan to return soon.”

 

My eyes widened at the unexpected words.

 

“…Huh? Really?”

 

“Yeah. Like you said, I can’t leave my mother alone forever. I plan to depart sometime in mid-September, at the latest.”

 

September is just around the corner, less than a week away.

 

“…are you sure? Are you really… going?”

 

“Yeah. Why? Are you disappointed?”

 

“…….”

 

I couldn’t quite express the strange mix of emotions I was feeling.

 

In truth, from my perspective, this should have been a piece of good news. It should have been welcomed.

 

If Clyde returned to Heremos, the risk of him encountering my father would disappear naturally.

 

I no longer needed to worry about my feelings or how to keep Clyde away from me.

 

However, the reason I couldn’t shake off my uncertainty was that I found it hard to believe that he would leave me so easily.

 

『So don’t go anywhere now. You’re all I have.』

 

I could still hear the words echoing in my head as Clyde hugged me and whispered them.

 

It wasn’t just the words; it was the look in his eyes, the expression on his face, and the strength in his arms as he held me tightly as if he would never let go.

 

I could feel how much Clyde had missed me over the past seven years, how desperately he wanted me.

 

It couldn’t have been an illusion.

 

It was the same even now.

 

When I returned to my twenty-year-old self, he confessed so passionately, saying my twenty-year-old self was so beautiful, and that’s why he couldn’t control his emotions.

 

‘…Could it be because I rejected him back then…?’

 

Was the reason he avoided looking at me today and suddenly mentioned returning to Heremos all because of that?

 

Was he giving up on me because I rejected him?

 

It wouldn’t be incomprehensible if that were the case. I could imagine that he might do that.

 

But even though it made sense in my head, my heart couldn’t accept it.

 

I don’t know why. I was so confused.

 

‘Could it be that I just don’t want to admit it? …No, that’s not it. It can’t be.’

 

I wanted his feelings to remain unchanged, even though I knew I couldn’t reciprocate them.

 

He doesn’t deserve that.

 

“You’re not particularly disappointed.”

 

Clyde said in a low voice. It sounded somewhat playful, but there was a deep bitterness hidden behind his words.

 

“…Of course I am. I am disappointed.”

 

I said each word with all my strength, feeling a sense of regret inside.

 

“Well, whether you’re disappointed or not, we have nothing good between us. As you said, if you were to be found out by your father, it would be a big problem.”

 

“…….”

 

We couldn’t be together without consequences. It hurt so much to hear it from Clyde, even though it was obviously what I had said, and it was undoubtedly true.

 

“…later….”

 

I struggled to open my mouth, and my voice felt faint, as if it were locked away.

 

“Later, I’ll come to visit. I’m not sure when exactly it will be, but when things improve, I’ll definitely…”

 

“No, there’s no need for that.”

 

Before I could finish my sentence, Clyde spoke in a cold voice.

 

“If we do that, and by any chance, the existence of Heremos becomes known to the outside, it would be a big problem. It wouldn’t only affect us, but other residents as well.”

 

“…….”

 

He had a point.

 

Yes, it was the right decision.

 

We should part ways. It was better not to meet again forever. I knew it from the beginning. It was all me who wanted that…

 

“…Clyde.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Can’t you just…look at me once?”

 

In the end, I asked him.

 

I know we’re not meant to be together, and I know this isn’t the last time we’re going to see each other, but it’s still so painful to have this conversation and not be able to look him in the eye.

 

“…….”

 

“Clyde, if you say that there’s not much time left for us to be together like this, then at least… I hope we can spend it on good terms.”

 

Clyde didn’t answer.

 

With trembling lips, I looked at his face, which seemed unusually cold today.

 

“Clyde, please.”

 

“…….”

 

Finally, Clyde slowly turned to look at me.

 

His eyes were darker and colder than ever.

 

Feeling a lump in my throat, I impulsively reached for Clyde’s hand that was resting on the armrest.

 

But he didn’t even try to hold my hand, nor did he flinch.

 

“…….”

 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, and they fell uncontrollably. I quickly wiped away the tears with the back of my hand. I didn’t want Clyde to see me crying. I knew it would break his heart…..

 

I glanced over at Clyde, but his expression didn’t change at all. His face remained emotionless, as if I had nothing to do with him.

 

My heart felt cold for a moment. It wasn’t just because Clyde showed no reaction to my tears. It was because his gaze subtly avoided my face.

 

I reflexively turned my head to look away and then back at Clyde.

 

“…No way.”

 

I lifted my hand and brought it in front of his face. I waved my palm from side to side, as if to say hello.

 

But Clyde didn’t blink an eye.

 

“Clyde, you….”

 

I said in a shaky voice.

 

“Why?”

 

“You can’t… see?”

 

His face turned pale upon hearing my words. He instinctively moved his body backwards.

 

“Is it true? You really can’t see?”

 

“…….”

 

“Why? Since when? What happened? Did you get hurt? What happened while I was away? Answer me, Clyde!”

 

“…….”

 

Clyde, who had been biting his lip as if in agony, suddenly smiled slyly.

 

His expression changed so abruptly that it didn’t even feel disconcerting.

 

“I got caught.”

 

 

 

TL/N: ILML will not be dropped, BUT the translator will change. A good friend of mine has decided to continue translating the series because she is as into it as some of you guys are. Anyway, I have already translated up to chapter 65, so she’ll start translating from chapter 66. Thank you for all your support!!!!