Chapter 17
A large hand, big enough to cover her whole face, rested gently without any force. Perhaps because there was no coercion, Beloni found it strangely difficult to lift her head. She looked down at her hands fidgeting in her lap and took a deep breath.
Then, Shanur spoke again.
“Look at me, Beloni.”
As if under a spell, Beloni dazedly lifted her head. It didn’t make sense, but his voice carried a faint trace of desperation that she couldn’t ignore.
“Don’t lower your head.”
Shanur had moved closer without her noticing and was now sitting on the table in front of her, locking eyes with her. His golden eyes, dazzling and intense enough to blind, held only her in their gaze.
“Don’t bow to anyone. Not even me.”
His hand, still cradling her cheek, shifted slightly as his thumb brushed against her lips. For a moment, his gaze followed the path of his thumb before slowly returning to meet her blue eyes.
“Especially, don’t avoid my eyes.”
Whenever Beloni hesitated to speak, Shanur felt a surge of anger toward Ian. But seeing Beloni glancing nervously at him extinguished his anger, leaving only concern for her.
Why was she watching his reactions so cautiously?
The question arose, but before he could dwell on it, Beloni lowered her gaze again, making him push the thought aside.
Shanur liked Beloni’s eyes. Clear, pure, and untouched by the world’s darkness, her blue-gray eyes were a stark contrast to his blood-stained existence. He realized this when he found himself constantly seeking her gaze.
At first, the realization startled him, but Shanur didn’t bother denying it. He liked her eyes.
Not being able to see them now felt like his heart was sinking. Without thinking, he cradled her face in his hand.
Shanur had the power to force her to look at him, and he knew she would obey if he commanded it. But he didn’t want that.
He wanted her to look at him of her own will.
“When you look away…”
His forefinger brushed gently along her eye, making her thick lashes quiver. It sent a tingling sensation from his hand to his heart.
“I don’t know what to do.”
It felt like fire was burning under his feet, making him restless. These unfamiliar emotions overwhelmed him, and Shanur couldn’t predict what he might do next.
“So always look at me with these eyes.”
Lock eyes with me, follow me, and don’t let anyone else occupy your gaze.
“Because that’s what I want.”
Beloni closed her confused eyes briefly, then opened them again. Her gaze, still clear and pure, met his.
“…I will.”
Her quiet agreement made Shanur realize his body had been tense all along. He released her cheek, leaning back slightly, but kept his eyes on her.
“From now on, keep Nosel by your side. That way, today’s incident won’t happen again.”
“Yes.” Beloni nodded.
Satisfied, Shanur straightened his large frame. Beloni was still trapped between his legs, unable to move. He liked it for some reason but pretended not to notice as he continued.
“Oh, and thank you for telling me.”
It was the first time he had expressed gratitude so directly. Clearing his throat, Shanur’s words made Beloni blink rapidly, her tension fading as her usual bright expression returned.
“If you’re grateful… can you grant me a small favor?”
“Go ahead.”
He nodded before realizing he had agreed too quickly.
“Can I tie your hair?”
The request caught him off guard. Shanur instinctively touched the long hair trailing behind his neck. He usually ignored it until it got too long and had to be cut short, a habit unchanged during his five years of isolation.
“Lady Rosalyn said you were planning to cut it soon. Before you do, I’d like to try tying it.”
“My hair?”
“Yes.”
Shanur found the idea puzzling but couldn’t take back his agreement now. He didn’t want to, either.
Beloni stood behind him. Since Shanur was sitting at the table, their eye level was perfectly aligned.
“The hair tie…”
“Oh, Andria sent me some after I mentioned liking the one you used last time. I’ll use one of those.”
She rummaged through her things as Shanur felt her delicate hands on his hair. His shoulders flinched at the unexpected touch. Her hands were careful and soft, a stark contrast to his own large, calloused ones.
“…Did you like the hair tie you got before?”
“Yes, wasn’t it pretty?”
He recalled the black hair tie she had used. He hadn’t thought much of it, but Beloni wearing it had been quite charming.
“Oh, yes. It was pretty.”
“Ah! Don’t nod!”
His movement had undone her progress, and Beloni sighed, starting over. That’s when Shanur realized that moving would make her take longer.
Afterward, he deliberately tilted his head a few times, forcing her to redo the tie.
Beloni didn’t seem annoyed. On the contrary, she seemed to enjoy it. His hair was softer and more captivating than she had expected, making her reluctant to stop touching it.
For Shanur, having someone touch his hair—a vulnerable part of himself—felt surprisingly natural. Without realizing it, he didn’t want her to stop, even contemplating leaving his hair uncut.
“All done.”
Beloni finally finished. Shanur reached back to touch the neatly tied hair.
Her fingers brushed against his hand, and neither pulled away. Her small, soft hand intrigued him, reminding him of how fragile yet capable it was.
Beloni gently guided his hand to the tied hair.
“What do you think?”
“I can’t see it, but it seems well done.”
Beloni smiled softly and stepped back.
“I’m glad I could do this before you cut it. Thank you, Your Grace.”
“It’s nothing.”
“I’ll take my leave now.”
As Beloni hurried out of the office, Shanur watched her retreating figure.
Once she was out of sight, he stood, feeling the exposed back of his neck. Turning slightly toward the window, he saw his reflection.
The hair tie, a delicate blue with small lace details, reminded him of someone’s eyes.
Clearing his throat, Shanur lowered his hand, his fingertips still warm from the memory of her touch.
