I Don't Want To Attack You!

5. After that day

 

The nightmare from last night left deep traces. The sensation of the bodily fluids stuck to Ashur’s body, the slightly damp feeling of the sheets, and the lingering pleasure that still felt delicate and exquisite.

 

Innocence was lost.

 

He didn’t want to think of it as reality. To have mixed his body like a ravenous beast with a woman he barely knew, colliding flesh with bare skin. He had a splitting headache, as if his head would shatter.

 

Sunlight poured in through the gap in the curtains. The thick clouds that had been hanging low had cleared. But the sun, returning after a long absence, wasn’t welcoming at all. It was because it vividly reminded him of the messy affair from the previous night.

 

A sense of hollow loss filled his chest.

 

Yet, amidst the frustration of losing his innocence, another unfortunate thought began to creep into his mind.

 

The tears he thought he had already shed welled up once again. Ashur wiped his wet hair and lowered his head.

 

‘Couldn’t we have just kissed?’

 

It was a thorough plundering of his body, only to be abandoned afterward. Even though they had shared quite a bit of conversation, couldn’t she have been a bit gentle, considering it was his first time? Such selfish thoughts surfaced.

 

But the woman who had turned his night into chaos was nowhere to be found the next morning. He had restrained his urge to satisfy his lust further with the unconscious Heather during sex. While he was heating the bathwater, Heather disappeared.

 

After washing her with the fragrance he liked, Ashur had intended to ask her about the night’s events.

 

It was an excessive plan.

 

Heather, who had taken his innocence, relieved her pent-up lust and left without a trace. To Heather, he was just that disposable. A doll to use and discard.

 

A feeling of loss spread over his chest. To avoid being consumed by melancholy, Ashur got up from the bed. He immersed himself in the already cold bathtub and calmly erased the traces of last night. The stinging sensation in his eyes would fade with time.

 

* * *

 

Having lived for twenty-five years, there had never been a day as refreshing as today. There was a twinge between her legs, and her pelvis and waist ached, but it was nothing. She felt so elated, it was as if her mood would fly away.

 

“Little elephant, goodbye forever!”

 

After the sex with Ashur, that damn Poring was completely gone from her sight. Although she had been caught by Ashur, thanks to that, they could now return to their daily lives. Hooray, hooray!

 

Rolling on the cozy bed, I felt a pang of pain in my lower back and had to moan for a moment. But even this pain was good. Like a war hero proudly bearing his battle scars.

 

After Poring disappeared, she couldn’t see Ashur two or three times a day anymore. She realized that it was all because of Poring that their paths had crossed so frequently in this vast temple.

 

“I wonder if he’s doing well.”

 

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t curious. The next day, I was on the verge of dying from muscle pain, but was Ashur’s body okay? No, was his mind more okay than his body? I wanted to check. However, even by chance, we didn’t cross paths, and looking for Ashur felt awkward.

 

“Heather, looks like you’re free.”

 

Ben tapped my table with his fingers. I pulled the handkerchief I had lowered below my chin back up to my nose.

 

“Why can’t I concentrate these days? There are only two days left until the promised date.”

 

It had been just over ten days since I spent the night with Ashur. During that time, I had immersed myself in my work as a seamstress. The priest’s robe was almost complete. It was also a reminder that there were only two days left to stay at the temple. In four days, I would bid Ashur farewell forever.

 

Before that, it would have been nice to see his face at least once. I pushed my regret into the sewing machine and sewed it up so that it couldn’t leak out.

 

“Are you asking me to go up to the platform? Why me of all people?”

 

I was packing my belongings to return to the dressing room. Ben had come early in the morning to try and pass on the annoying task to me.

 

“Because you have the most seniority among the seamstresses. We can’t promote newcomers.”

 

Starting today, the temple priests would wear new priestly robes. The traditional black fabric that had been used for decades was discarded, transformed into pure white attire. Rumors had already spread that newspaper reporters had arrived at the temple. They were probably planning to take pictures of Ashur in his new priestly outfit.

 

The seamstresses who had personally made the clothes needed to ensure that the priests wearing the new garments were comfortable during their activities. Especially during prayer times, the seamstresses needed to pay special attention. If the clothes were too cumbersome and obstructive during prayers, the ability to make real-time adjustments was also required. In other words, asking me to go up to the platform was for this purpose.

 

“Um…, alright.”

 

“For once, you’re accepting an annoying task without complaint.”

 

Normally, I would have refused and gotten annoyed. But today was my last chance to get a close look at Ashur. I wanted to see him offering prayers on the platform rather than observing from a distance. I wanted to see if his expression was alright too.

 

Today, the prayer session was held in the “Chamber of Sanctity” instead of the outdoor prayer room. Some reporters who had obtained permission from the temple had arrived early and were setting up their cameras.

 

As the priest leading the prayer ascended the platform, Ashur took his seat behind. The atmosphere was charged the moment Ashur appeared. Even in my eyes, dressed in the fresh white priestly robe, he looked like an angel who could ascend to the heavens at any moment. His skin, as smooth as pottery, appeared even more exquisite under the white fabric. His lips and hair felt unusually intense. He seemed to radiate an aura that only illuminated him.

 

If only the temple rules hadn’t forbidden photography during prayer sessions, the reporters would have been relentless with their shutters. His enchanting beauty captivated everyone’s attention. I was no exception. However, I noticed that the shoulder seam of Ashur’s priestly robe had loosened. This priestly robe was designed for the comfort of the priests who would wear it all day. The traditional thick fabric that didn’t allow for ventilation had been replaced with a thin, lightweight fabric folded in three layers. But somehow, one of the layers of fabric had come loose, like the shedding of a snake’s skin.

 

I quietly approached, suppressing any sound of my footsteps. My plan was to pull that fluttering piece of cloth away before the photographers started shooting. The moment I lightly grasped the fabric, hanging like a flag under Ashur’s elbow…

 

Whooosh—

 

A familiar sound cut through the gentle, resonating voices. Eerie silence spread between the voices. I lowered my gaze to the fabric drooping from my hand, which looked like shed skin. My heart seemed to plummet to the ground, and a sense of foreboding crept in.

 

“Ah…”

 

A breathless hush followed. As if by instinct, one of the reporters pressed the camera shutter. Click. The sound seemed to signal others, and shutters started going off all around. The buzzing noise grew louder.

 

Ashur’s body was completely stripped, leaving only his underwear.

 

“Ah… um, no, this isn’t what it looks like, really.”

 

I wanted to throw the white priestly robe, no, the piece of fabric in my hands, away. How, how did this happen! Why does something like this always happen…!

 

**

 

Pink smoke rose above Ashur’s head. With a sense of disbelief, I stared at it. The smoke grew larger like a cumulus cloud, and amidst it, a violet curtain suddenly popped out.

 

Poring?!

 

While I was still in astonishment, I saw his shoulders and back muscles trembling visibly, expanding broadly. An unfathomable chill radiated from around him. It was so unjust that after not seeing each other for so long, this was how we were meeting again.

 

“I just touched it lightly, I didn’t expect it to tear like this…”

 

But whatever I said, Ashur, who had proudly displayed his backside and thong in front of thousands of people, wouldn’t hear me.

 

I’m not the one who did that, it’s that crazy pink elephant!

 

Ashur turned his head slightly and looked at me. The corners of his eyes were tinged with red. My startled face was clearly captured in his large pupils.

 

The image of Ashur’s naked body spread like wildfire in the newspapers. The demand was so explosive that the popular newspapers had to go through emergency reprinting not once, but twice.

 

As people’s attention was drawn to Ashur’s well-toned backside, there were voices criticizing Euphgeny Dressing Room at the same time. Rumors circulated that they had used cheap fabric to save on costs, that the skills of the seamstresses were lacking, and so on. Those were rumors that ignited our anger. Fortunately, with the swift intervention of the Arjehum Temple, with which our dress room had a long-standing relationship, the rumors subsided before they could escalate into a bigger controversy.

 

Blamed as the culprit for everything, I was dragged around by Ben and had to listen to his grumbling all day. Rather than scolding me, it was more like he was whining about what to do. Sweating profusely, I managed to squeeze out a single sentence to Ben.

 

“This must be a curse.”

 

The fearful Ben asked me if I had done something sacrilegious in the temple.

 

“Until half a day ago, the clothes were perfectly fine. It’s strange that they were torn to shreds like this. And it wasn’t even along a seam.”

 

“Yeah. It tore so neatly and perfectly. If a stranger had seen it, they would have thought it was a strip show.”

 

“Exactly! That’s what’s weird about it. Unless this is some sort of divine punishment, how could something like this happen? We can’t leave it like this, Heather. Follow me.”

 

Ben started dragging me, insisting that I needed to repent immediately. However, I planted my feet firmly and resisted. I clasped my palm over Ben’s furry hand and looked up at him quietly.

 

“Oh, how great it would be if this curse could be resolved through repentance.”

 

My voice faded weakly, like smoke disappearing into the air.

 

“Heather…”

 

“I’ll go. I haven’t finished packing my belongings yet.”

 

As I was returning to the bedroom with a sense of dejection, Ben suddenly shouted loudly from behind.

 

“Don’t come to work tomorrow, take an extra day off! Mister Martani is really furious!”

 

Even though the temple might have defended me, Martani wouldn’t just let the incident go quietly. He was the kind of guy who always seized on every opportunity to nitpick, claiming my personality was far from divine. Ever since he started dating Leica, he had made it his mission to torment me relentlessly.

 

It felt like I was already hearing the peculiar tone of his barking, like a hunting dog. He never altered the accent from his homeland on the mainland. He used to be a prominent designer back in the mainland, or so he claimed. But who could believe that? Why would a successful designer come all the way to another country to be a dressing room manager?

 

“Ugh, this is so frustrating…”

 

Just thinking about Martani was giving me a splitting headache, but I had a much bigger problem. A disaster-like problem that couldn’t be compared to someone like Martani.

 

I stared at my bedroom door, which I had opened and closed countless times over the past month, with a frustrated sigh. I pulled the latch, and suddenly, a burst of multicolored flower petals exploded over my head. I struck the petals with my fist, annoyed.

 

– I wanted to see you, Heather!

 

“Are you kidding me right now?!”

 

– Why are you getting angry?

 

“You wanted Ashur and I to be together. But why did you reappear? Do you have any idea how awkward things have become between me, that priest, and Ashur because of this Poring?!”

 

After spending the night with Ashur, neither the Poring nor Ashur were to be seen, and Ashur didn’t seem to have a problem with what happened that night. Naturally, I thought it was all over. Just like any other protagonist who overcomes adversity and struggles, I had managed to tie up everything and found solace in my peace. But just when I let my guard down, the Poring appeared like a ghost. In this situation that I didn’t want to believe in, I couldn’t maintain my composure.

 

– Heather, when signing a contract, you should read the back thoroughly.

 

The tone was extremely odd. Poring flew away like a breeze and filled a cup with water. I ignored the cup of water being offered to me and retorted.

 

“What’s all this sudden talk?”

 

A sense of foreboding started creeping over me. It felt like the tense anticipation before encountering a ghost.

 

– I never said it just once.

 

* * *

 

Suddenly, I had this thought. God isn’t an absolute good and acts on their own accord with humans. Even though I, who had only lived for twenty-five years, couldn’t possibly understand the existence of a god who had experienced a life as long as the age of stars, my thoughts were like this.

 

If God only acted for justice and goodness, then the mere existence of humans defying God’s will is already strange.

 

Didn’t some ancient king receive a prophecy that he would marry his mother and kill his father? God had created fates that messed with humans like this. In front of such a God, all I could do was give up trying to understand and just accept it. I was just one of those unlucky humans. Compared to the ancient king, my fate wasn’t that tragic, right? It wasn’t a big deal.

 

“Ugh!”

 

…I tried to assert myself with this thought, but it was futile. After trying all day to calm my roiling emotions, I realized that I couldn’t win. I tried talking to the confession room, reading classical myths in the library, but it was all in vain. I really wanted to win. To escape from this damn curse and achieve a true victory in reclaiming my life!

 

– Shh. You’ll get caught.

 

Poring said in a secretive tone. Staring down the empty corridor was no different than stoking the fire of my anger. Actually, I didn’t care if I got caught or not!

 

I stood in front of the door that I thought I would never have to face again. The door leading to Ashur’s bedroom. I hesitated to open the door and go in. No matter how I thought about it, this was just too much. I had to confront Ashur again…

 

“It’s too much to ask to have sex every 15 days.”

 

I gathered my knees and sat down with a thump. I could feel Poring using my forehead as a substitute for a chair.

 

– Think positively. If you have sex once, nothing will happen to Ashur for the next 15 days.

 

I didn’t want to believe that Poring would appear again in 15 days, but the words that came out of his mouth were even more astonishing.

 

The essence of the blessing wasn’t physical contact but rather love. In other words, without love, the 15-day respite would only mean that the blessing hadn’t been fully completed.

 

“But why specifically 15 days? It could be 150 days!”

 

– If you keep mixing bodies every two weeks, wouldn’t you start developing feelings even if they weren’t there before?

 

So I found myself in a position where I had to confront him again. There was no time to calm my bewildered mind. I had to leave the temple tomorrow, and today was the last chance to easily infiltrate.

 

I decided it was better to deal with Ashur today and then figure out a plan during the 15-day grace period.

 

“Are you going to spend the night here?”

 

I knew what I had to do, but my body didn’t move as my mind dictated. It felt like my conscience inside me was dying a smothered death. I shook my head vigorously. Poring bounced away to the side.

 

“Remember when the priest woke up while you were absorbing him?”

 

– Oh, right.

 

“You said he wouldn’t wake up! What do we do if he wakes up again today?!”

 

-Ashur’s divine power pushed my power away. You just have to absorb him before my power completely dissipates. Since you’ve done it once, you can finish it faster, can’t you?

 

Poring spoke with its pitch-black eyes gleaming. It spoke lewdly without a care in the world, with a face like a fairy that could appear in a fairy tale. What annoyed me more than this incongruity was its nonchalant attitude, as if it were watching a fire across the river. It set the fire and then…!!

 

Inside me, anger was boiling, but what infuriated me the most was that I couldn’t vent it out on Poring. Well, there’s no point in getting annoyed here. I just need to finish this before it gets bright outside.

 

“Sigh…”

 

After getting up, I grabbed the doorknob. Instinctively, I hesitated a bit, then exerted force and opened the door. As soon as I stepped in, I could smell a faint floral scent. It seemed like something I hadn’t smelled before.

 

Only the candles around Ashur’s bedroom were brightly illuminating the surroundings. As I looked at the candlestick decorations surrounding the door, I suddenly felt a certain mood. Maybe like a warrior before going to subdue a demon. Alright… I’m going to fight with a dragon that has no fur but has pretty colors. It won’t be an easy battle, but I’ve won once before, so there’s nothing to fear.

 

With my fist clenched tightly, I bravely opened the door to Ashur’s bedroom.

 

* * *

 

‘What should I do, priest?’

 

“….”

 

‘I fucked a priest.’

 

There was no doubt that the worshiper present at the confession chamber believed Heather. The thick, red lips visible beyond the partition, the resonant voice that pounded at the heart. Despite not being prone to sweating, Ashur strangely felt sweat collecting behind the thin partition as he realized Heather was there. Ashur had to wipe his damp palms on his priestly robe.

 

‘I have to visit that priest’s room again today.’

 

As her confession continued, Ashur almost vomited out what he had eaten that morning. Even though Heather was calmly announcing her own crime, Ashur couldn’t stop her. He couldn’t understand why he had sat there so quietly, even now.

 

After finishing his final prayer, Ashur sat on the bed in a daze. A reddish energy hovered above his pale and fluffy cheek. Despite taking a bath after dinner, his body felt uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe because he had sweated a lot after a long time. Ashur wiped his cheek. Even though his skin was smooth without any blemishes, it felt strangely spongy to himself. He decided that taking another bath would be a good idea.

 

Impulsively, Ashur burned a scented candle after taking another hour-long bath. As the pure white smoke billowed and the floral scent filled the air…

 

‘What am I doing?’

 

It was a scented candle that Ashur had never taken out since receiving it from Archbishop Svetlana. Ashur was feeling inflammation over all the hobbies of his parents, who had enjoyed a luxurious life. When he lived in his family home, the scents of various candles vibrated throughout the entire mansion. Those memories were imprinted unfavorably, and Ashur disliked artificial scents invading his personal space.

 

But he didn’t know why he himself was lighting a scented candle without drying his hair. Ashur tiptoed around the candle while drying his hair with a towel, and finally turned off the candle when the scent had fully spread.

 

“Haah…”

 

Lying on the bed in a fetal position, he gazed at the ceiling where the light flickered. He hadn’t slept a wink yesterday, and sleep still eluded him today. No, since losing his virginity, he hadn’t slept for more than five hours a day for the past two weeks. It was all because of that woman, Heather Geline.

 

Whether he opened his eyes or closed them, even in his dreams, Heather tormented Ashur. She would tease him as she pleased, and after satisfying her desires, she would discard him like trash.

 

Even during prayers, Heather’s face would appear inside his eyelids, which was a grave problem. Ashur had suffered in silence for a while and had eventually confessed everything to Priest Berti.

 

“…I broke my vow of chastity.”

 

Priest Berti, who was eating, spat out the food he was chewing.

 

“That’s disgusting.”’

 

Ashur recoiled, covering his mouth and nose with a handkerchief. But to Berti, the half-eaten, chewed mushroom dish scattered on his priestly robe wasn’t the important issue. Berti pushed the plate aside and pulled his chair closer.

 

“Breaking your vow of chastity means…”

 

“Yes. That seamstress made me like this.”

 

“But how on earth…? You must have had access to the temple to do that.”

 

Ashur shook his head. In fact, he wasn’t particularly curious about how Heather had gotten into his bedroom. It would be more accurate to say that he hadn’t even considered the possibility. The sensation of their fervent mingling from last night and the sensation of his whole body tingling from the pleasure, along with the voice that called his name, were all etched vividly in his mind.

 

“That seamstress, she’s more wicked and cunning than she looks. She must have used tricks to get an access pass. She’s someone who wouldn’t hesitate to harass, and she probably brazenly deceived the mansion staff by pretending to be something she wasn’t.”

 

“…But, Priest…”

 

Berti belatedly seemed concerned about Ashur’s condition. Looking at him carefully, he noticed that the corners of his eyes were slightly red. He grasped his chest as he saw him looking so vulnerable that he seemed about to burst into tears.

 

“To think our priest would end up like this… That seamstress is guilty. She deserves punishment. Just the fact that she intruded into the priest’s quarters without permission is a serious offense. Don’t worry. I will make sure that audacious criminal who stole your chastity pays the price.”

 

“No, you can’t.”

 

“I should immediately inform the Temple Knights… What? What did you say?”

 

“I don’t want to report it. I just want to know why she did it.”

 

“Why… Do you need to ask? Our priest is so beautiful. Moreover, he took a vow of chastity. If someone is open about their desires, of course they would want to be intimate with the priest. It’s like seeing an unattended gemstone right in front of you; no one would just pass by without taking a look.”

 

“Is that really the only reason?”

 

Berti couldn’t quite fathom what Ashur was trying to say. Was there some special reason that the seamstress attacked Ashur? No matter how hard she tried to think, nothing came to mind. As Berti struggled to find the words, Ashur opened his mouth in a somber tone.

 

“Did she really just want my body without any emotional attachment?”

 

“Wait, hold on…”

 

The situation was taking an odd turn. Ashur seemed to be focusing more on Heather’s emotions than the fact that his chastity had been taken. Berti couldn’t comprehend what he was getting at. Did that seamstress have a particular reason for attacking him? Even though Berti racked his brain, nothing came to mind. When Berti was struggling to find words, Ashur spoke up in a despondent voice.