I Don't Want To Attack You!

3. Ashur Renver

‘My treasure, my angel. Happy birthday, my beloved baby deer!’

Above the head of a boy wearing a hat, colorful fireworks burst into the air. As his parents each kissed his cheeks, the attendants applauded as if they had been waiting. It was a birthday party filled with blessings, but the protagonist, Ashur, only stared blankly with an uninterested face. The appearance of an ordinary child celebrating his tenth birthday was not there.

With his parents holding Ashur’s small right hand together, they forced him to cut the cake. As the four-tiered cake was sliced, more fireworks exploded. The next order of events was to open the gifts sent from outside. Attendants appeared with a cart filled with gifts. That was when Ashur showed his first sign of emotion.

How bothersome.

A servant wearing white gloves carefully placed one of the gift boxes on the cart in front of Ashur.

‘It must be from Lady Belash. Shouldn’t we open it to see if it’s a gift that our baby deer would like?’

Ashur lightly disregarded his father’s words. Since they had cut the cake, he obliged and sat with his parents. Sitting with an indifferent expression all day, Ashur jumped off his chair.

‘Oh, Ashur! Let’s open the gifts!’

The boy’s deer-like large eyes fell upon the cart. How tiresome. Who celebrates their birthday party for nine consecutive days? Ashur felt deep disgust at his ninth eleventh birthday party. With a gesture from Ashur’s parents, the cart containing the gifts was moved aside.

‘Well, let’s finish the ninth birthday party here and enjoy the tenth birthday party.’

And when he came to his senses, Ashur found himself in the village of “Vales,” wearing a pink rabbit mask on his face.

‘At Agripada’s festival, you have to cover your face with a mask. Today, Ashur, you should become a cute rabbit instead of a baby deer. The god of love will help you meet your destined partner.’

Ashur didn’t want to become a deer or a rabbit. He wanted to escape from this square, where noisy music, loud laughter, and people who seemed drunk on moonlight or alcohol stuck to each other and danced.

The boy’s parents were people who liked people and traveling, and they were energetic individuals who thrived in a lively atmosphere. However, Ashur, their adopted son, was the opposite of them in temperament. But the world did not leave Ashur alone. The boy was a captivating figure wherever he went, a prodigy who showed talent in art, music, martial arts, and various fields of study.

Ashur found the attention surrounding him tiresome and bothersome, but there was nowhere he could escape from the attention. To the boy who always endured, the birthday party that had continued for nine days and the sudden festival on the tenth day were nothing short of torture. He wanted to disappear to a place where nobody knew him.

When his patience reached its limit, someone grabbed Ashur’s wrist firmly. And then, they started running somewhere while taking Ashur with them, away from the bustling square filled with music.

The place Ashur arrived at was behind Agripada’s temple. It was surrounded by lush grass and limestone walls that protected Ashur from the attention as if they were walls. The moon spread its cold light. And below it stood a girl wearing a beak mask. Her curly, red hair seemed to dance lightly on her round shoulders. The girl was much taller than Ashur. Was she an angel?

The girl looked at Ashur and spoke.

‘You don’t know how long I’ve been looking for you.’

Thump. A graceful voice like a harp melody pierced into Ashur’s heart. A storm of intense emotions, shocking enough for someone who had shown no interest in anything in the world, engulfed Ashur. He couldn’t take his eyes off the girl wearing the beak mask.

‘You mean me?’

‘Yeah.’

The girl inserted her fingers under the mask, and the beak mask slowly came off. Ashur stared at the girl without even remembering to breathe.

Thud. The poorly made mask fell to the ground.

‘Ah, finally, how refreshing. Please embrace me quickly.’

‘Ugh…’

Ashur woke up from the dream as if having a seizure. Now he was accustomed to the sight of the familiar white ceiling filling his vision. His heart pounded as if it would burst, and his dry mouth continued to swallow.

It was a nightmare. Not just an ordinary nightmare, but a horrific nightmare that made him want to extract his brain and wash it clean.

“Why does the face of that seamstress…?”

Struggling, Ashur closed his eyes and tried to calm his pounding heart. When his breathing gradually settled down, he realized that something was off with his body. With a skeptical mind, Ashur raised his upper body. When he lifted the blanket, he saw that the front of the bedsheet was damp.

“Ha…”

It was his first wet dream. It was the first time he had experienced such a thing at the age of twenty due to that seamstress.

“Unless I’ve lost my mind…”

Ashur couldn’t understand his body’s response. He was confused. A wet dream, really? Feeling sexual desire for that seamstress. Confusion, discomfort, and an indescribable longing boiled up simultaneously.

It was difficult for him to accept that his body was acting beyond his control. Ashur quickly washed his body with cold water, trying to clear his dizzy mind. Then, without having breakfast, he headed straight to the prayer room.

Ashen gray clouds covered the sky. It was a weather where a downpour wouldn’t be out of place. A gloomy energy flowed through the window and seeped into the prayer room. Sitting alone on the pew in the spacious prayer room, Ashur closed his eyes quietly. A faint golden rosary swayed over his gloved hands.

“Oh Lord, please take away the wicked desires that have tainted my body.”

A desperate voice echoed from Ashur in front of the giant statues of the five gods. Ten years ago, on the day he decided to become a priest, he swore that he would serve the gods with purity until his eternal companion appeared. And that vow had never wavered even once until that seamstress intervened.

“Unless I’ve gone mad…”

Ashur couldn’t understand his body’s reaction. It was bewildering. Rather than being afraid of humans who desired his body, they looked no different from scavengers. He found it disgusting to believe that they belonged to the same species with equal intelligence. Was it because of his upbringing? Ashur didn’t have a compulsive disorder, but he felt intense aversion when others touched his body. On days when someone accidentally brushed against him, even with just a fingertip, his skin turned red, and he washed his hands, considering it an impure act to serve the gods with carnal desires.

He didn’t swear chastity to serve the gods with a pure heart. However, as a result, he believed that because he had pledged chastity, he could become a priest without shame.

“Grant me the grace to suppress the sexual desires that dominate my body every day.”

Ashur was well aware that the gods had bestowed upon him more blessings than others. It was impossible not to know. His reversed fate was always the best, and he had exceptional learning and application skills no matter what he studied. Feeling the need for sowrdsman ship, Ashur laid down the scriptures and took up the sword, and he received a love call from the knight order of the entire continent. There was even a place that offered to establish a new knight order specifically for Ashur. However, apart from serving the gods, he had no interest or hobbies, so he completely ignored all the offers.

Although he had everything, he guarded against an extravagant life more than anyone else. He didn’t enjoy drinking, and besides reading the scriptures, he had no other hobbies. Some people called him a eunuch for not even engaging in romantic relationships. Ashur didn’t consider the rumors surrounding him to be completely false. After all, he had never felt sexual desire in his entire life. While it wasn’t an accurate diagnosis, he believed that if he truly was a eunuch, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

However, his conviction that he was a eunuch was an arrogant thought. Standing in front of the five statues of the gods, Ashur was praying with an erect phallus.

Hope you enjoy ♥️