I Don’t Trust My Twin Sister

Anyway, since marriage was being discussed, it was not unusual for Ersia, my family, to meet Ian. But what did I see and what did I do? Should I introduce Ersia to him?

“But…”

“Don’t you like it?”

“Yes?”

The slightly surprised expression was excellent.

“Do you hate me marrying Ian?”

It was funny how she stayed silent. Why? She couldn’t say no, and couldn’t say yes, even if she died?

“I am…”

Ersia’s mouth, which had been silent for a moment, slowly opened. I listened while wondering what dog shit she would say.

“I’m worried about my sister!”

I was dumbfounded and almost laughed out loud for a moment. Did she care about me? It was the most absurd, funny, and close to bullshit I’ve heard lately. I wondered what kind of expression I should give. Should I laugh? Shall I burst into laughter? Or would I put on a pitiful expression like a good sister. I pondered for a while, then slightly pulled the corners of my mouth.

“How can it be, Ersia. Are you worried about me?”

“Yes, it’s because I’m worried about the guy you’re dating, because I don’t know if he’s a good guy or if he has bad intentions.”

“Bad intentions. Why do you think so?”

She must be thinking that way because she was that kind of person. But I managed my expression, pretending to ask Ercia’s opinion.

“My sister told me. There are many people with nefarious purposes targeting the family fortune, so you should always be careful, sister.”

Yeah, I said that. The problem was that she didn’t realize the intention. It was absurd when you think about it. I always told Ersia that she should be careful of men and be wary of people. I said that people who approached the family line should be distinguished. How she must have laughed when she saw me like that. After giving her advice until my lips were worn out, I was the one who suffered. It must have been pretty funny. Looking at that look, I thought of what she thought, and my insides turned upside down.

“Ian is not that kind of guy. We have a strong relationship.”

“No. I don’t believe it.”

“Why do you think so? Is there any basis?”

Ersia was a bit troubled by my question, and then she said confidently.

“I heard. Rumors about him, that he likes men. Besides, they said that the family was in debt after spending money recklessly.”

“I’ve heard that too. But sometimes the things I believe to be true aren’t true. He doesn’t like men, and he’s not promiscuous. It’s just a rumor that people spread because they were jealous of him. I believe in Ian.”

“But…”

“It’s strange, Ersia.”

The younger sister who did not know how to give up was about to get bored. It was fun to see her panicking once or twice, but it wasn’t very good if it continued. I had a lot to care about, and my tiring work was a lot, but I couldn’t help but be annoyed with her because she kept being caught. I saw her flinch as I called her name, brushing her hair.

“Your sister says it’s okay, but you keep insisting that it’s not. As long as there’s some solid basis I will listen, but believing in false rumors and continuing to slander this idea, even for me is a little displeased.”

I hardened my expression slightly to end this barren conversation.

“I know the rumors about Ian are false. And it’s true that I have a good relationship with Ian, and it’s nice that you’re worried about me, Ercia, but I think you’re being too intrusive.”

“Sister…”

I was so tired of hearing the word ‘sister’ any more. My eyes were tired, so I pressed my eyelids together and opened my mouth slowly.

“And to be honest, I don’t know why you asked me to introduce him. If you’ve never met him, you might not know, but haven’t you seen him before?”

“At that time, I was so embarrassed…”

“Despite being flustered, his expression looked relaxed and his actions seemed comfortable.”

When I lowered my waist to meet her eye level, I could clearly see Ersia’s pupils. Yes, she must have despised and ignored me with these eyes.

“Ersia, to be honest, Ian doesn’t like you very much.”

“Uh, why is that?”

Why did he need a reason?

“To be precise, I would have to say that I don’t hate him either.”

“Yeah, it can’t be.”

No way? Displeasure came up at one word that seemed insignificant. With what kind of confidence did she say those words? Wasn’t that something only someone who was sure that Ian would at least have a crush on her? I could feel my expression hardening even without being aware of it. The corners of my mouth came down and drew a straight line.

“…What did you mean by those words, Ersia?”

“Yes? Oh, no. Just…”

“You and I are twins, so you made it an established fact that he might like you just because you and I look alike?”

“Sister, no. I simply haven’t met and had an in-depth conversation yet, but he’s interested in me…”

“There’s no need to have a deep conversation. You’re just my younger sister, and if you’re younger, Ian should be interested in you unconditionally. Why? Is that possible because we’re twins?”

Ersia bit her lip hard. The redness of her face made her look like someone who had been stabbed to the point. But isn’t that too blatant? You can’t deal with me if the mask comes off so easily.

“It’s me who meets Ian, and I’m the one who shows interest in him. So regardless of whether you get attention from Ian or not, it’s me who can monopolize his love.”

“Sister…”

“So I’ll say it just once. Listen carefully.”

I opened my mouth coldly, looking down at my sister with my arms crossed.

“If there is any jewelry you want, I will bring it to you. If there is a dress you want, I will order it for you. If there is a job you want to do, I will actively support you.”

I spoke the last words while looking into the eyes of my younger sister, who looked just like me but could only think of her as my enemy.

“Even if you covet everything, you can’t covet my man. So don’t covet Ian, sister.”

* * *

The conversation ended with that. I left Ersia by saying that I was tired and making a hand gesture to draw a line. I was annoyed by my younger sister’s persistent behavior that held me until the end, but fortunately I was able to take a break before it was revealed. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes for a while. I thought I was tired, so I tried to rest for a bit, but it was evening, so I felt strange.

Have you ever had a day like this? I couldn’t remember the last time I took a good nap.

Since my grandfather passed away, I had always been busy. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had a proper rest, let alone a nap. Because I always thought I had to live fiercely. The inside of my mouth was dry. His slightly dry lips twitched slightly. The moment I got out of bed and moved my body to look for cosmetics, someone knocked on the door. Who at this time…

“Are you there, Roa?”

Grandfather? It felt like my hazy mind returned in an instant. The moment I heard my grandfather’s voice, anxiety rose in an instant. I swallowed once, feeling saliva welling up in my mouth. I hurriedly approached the door and twisted the handle to open it. The bright light in the hallway disturbed my vision, but my grandfather’s figure came in intact. It was a slightly haggard face.

“Yes, Grandpa.”

“Do you have a moment to talk?”

I nodded. I opened the door wide and turned around to turn on the light. When the warmth of the fire reached the dark room, light penetrated everywhere. After removing a chair from the tea table on one side of the room and making a table for my grandfather, I sat down on the other side too. Maybe it was because I had just woken up, I felt a bit down, so I didn’t feel the need to open my mouth first. So I waited for his grandfather’s words.

Fortunately, my grandfather started the conversation slowly.

“…You had a lot of trouble today.”

What did it mean? When I thought about it, there were a few things I could guess, but after thinking for a while, I nodded.

“No. Grandpa.”

I came to the conclusion that I should be genuinely grateful for the compliment without saying much. In fact, I was even more sorry. It occurred to me that my grandfather had taken out the wounds he had buried in his heart, scratched them, and patched them up again. What if I had the pendant by myself yesterday? If that were the case, Grandpa would have gone on as usual and he wouldn’t have had to look so sad, but it was a decision that left only regrets. After returning to the past, the promise not to leave anything to regret was useless. I did something I would regret again and there was no going back on that decision. I had to ask for forgiveness. 

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry for hurting you once again and making you suffer, I had to do that.’

But it didn’t come off quickly. That’s why I applied strength to my fingernails and forcibly pressed down on my flesh, only hesitating, but no more voices came. My grandfather seemed lost in thought for a moment, then bent his head and stared at the ceiling. Was it raining outside? For some reason, I thought I could hear the sound of water, so I turned his head and glanced out the window. But the window didn’t get wet. With my eyes slightly lowered, I pondered how to end this long silence. What did I want to do? Why did I hand him the pendant without thinking? Didn’t I know that the pendant could be a symbol of misfortune? Getting older didn’t make you wiser after all. That’s why I was making the same mistake. Frustration washed over me. I couldn’t say anything. An apology and a request for forgiveness. But after the silence, my grandfather’s voice softly landed on my head.

“…thanks.”

Thank you…?

When I raised my face, my grandfather’s face came into view. Although not clear, a faint smile lifted my heart. It was my first time to smile like this.

“I ran away for a long time. It’s been over 10 years. It’s already been 10 years since those children left me. I foolishly rejected reality and ruined it without bumping into it.”

“You didn’t run away. Grandpa gave me strength more than anyone else.”

“No, this is something anyone can do. If you are the head of a family, it’s something you have to do for the sake of your family and countless people in your territory. It would have been the same for you as well.”

“That can’t be… Grandpa, that was only possible because you were there. I’m just a failure, Grandpa. I couldn’t protect it. I’m just trying to settle my past here as if I had a chance, embracing regret and loss. Besides, I made up my mind not to do anything I would regret, and then I made another mistake again.”

“No, Roa. If you stand here, you will understand me too. It is not an easy task to endure for many years, bearing the pressure and weight of a seat. But, Roa, you will be able to.”

My heart ached. I couldn’t stand it. I was a foolish granddaughter who lost everything in the name of betrayal. As I lowered my head, a warm hand touched me. I raised my eyes slightly and saw my grandfather’s arm stroking my hair.

“Raise your head, Roa. My granddaughter… My dearest family and my treasure. I believe in your worth and ability. So don’t lower your head in disbelief yourself. You are brave. “

I couldn’t bear to let go of my mouth, so I pressed my lips together for no reason. Like dandelion seeds flying softly, a warm word soaked my heart. Somehow, I felt like I was about to shed tears.

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