I Don’t Trust My Twin Sister

“I never told Ersia not to eat candy or sweet food. Within that short time, Ersia treated me as a harsh older sister and sought sympathy from you. Rich, right?”

There was a stir at his awkward behavior. He tried to keep his composure, but the moment his emotions hit the floor in an instant, his reason was shaken. Why did you say that? I’d rather just let it feel good. Let it be misunderstood. Despite my shortened and sharpened voice, he did not point out or interrupt. He just looked at me quietly.

“Yes… I was happy. There are people like this in the world, my grandfather always recommended me to make concessions. But you rejected Ercia’s request with a single knife and said that you trusted me.”

Those words… Do you know how precious those words were to me? My stomach rumbled again. These days, whenever I did it, a rumbling rim came up. Was something not good?

“I’d rather not say that. Don’t confuse people.”

Somehow I lost my strength. It felt like the turbulent waves of emotions were calming down. Just a moment ago it seemed like a storm was raging, but now it had subsided again. Laughter came out. Yes, that’s right, support me no matter how long we’ve met. Of course. If you met Ersia instead of me, you would have become closer. You just did that.

“You’d rather say it as it is. Then you wouldn’t have put on such an arrogant expression. It must have been fun. Watching you misunderstand and be happy by yourself.”

When I raised my face, I saw Ian with his head bowed with a strange expression. He frowned in disbelief and opened his mouth slowly.

“…There seems to be a misunderstanding.”

“I think I’ve heard that before.”

“It was a misunderstanding even then.”

“Rather than a misunderstanding…”

“Anyway.”

He cut me off and took a step out. His neck snapped at the sudden glance, and it hurt.

“That’s why I like direct conversations.”

“What…?”

“Hey, Lawrence. I don’t know what you’re misunderstanding, but it’s true that everything I said is true. You know that too, don’t you?”

I nodded my head helplessly. The word truth was very heavy. As I lowered my gaze, his hand came up, grabbed my chin, and pushed me up. Ian took a step back and leveled his eyes with me.

“But why do you listen negatively when you know it’s true?”

I rolled my eyes. I wanted to avoid it, I didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s true that I didn’t give it to her because I didn’t have any more candy. But if she asked me if I would have given it to her if I had another candy, I wouldn’t. Why? Everything I said is true.”

What did he mean? He grabbed his chin and lifted his forced gaze.

“It’s true that I trust you. I don’t think you heard me. At least I’ve always been true to you, as it was before and just now.”

His eyes widened. What could I say now…!

“I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone like you again.”

When I opened my eyes, red eyes were looking down at me seriously. He was too close. I thought this was dangerous…

“Besides, it’s also true that anyone else would be able to pass on to your younger sister. She was very clever. The women I’ve met have used her strengths so well that they can’t compare.”

“What strength?”

“Okay. That hurts. Can you be a little sympathetic?”

It’s something I’d always thought about. Others are just sympathetic, but I did’t think so. They were dazzled by Ersia’s appearance.

“But it doesn’t work on me. She doesn’t look particularly sick, but she laughs and talks well, is she sick? I’m starting to doubt her.”

He grinned. The look was fresh. I had never heard anything like this from anyone else. While living as her stupid older sister, she was alone and suffered from anxiety. Words that no one could relate to, now this man took them out of his mouth first.

“Besides, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but am I really the one who should be angry?”

“Why are you angry?”

It was absurd. No, what did he do to get angry? My eyes narrowed.

“Think again about what I said yesterday.”

Yesterday? I didn’t even have to think about it again.

“You said you were interested in me. You said you were thinking about dating seriously with me. Why is that?”

“Hhaha…”

Ian frowned and laughed with the sound of air escaping.

“I don’t know why you’re saying that now. To be honest, I was a little taken aback when I heard that yesterday. I think I was confessed to by you, but now that I think about it, you like men. I’m not a man, so I thought about it again. What does interest, profit, and serious encounter mean?”

He clicked his chin, asking me to say more.

“Then the answer came. In fact, your attitude is so sincere that I thought a lot of strange things, but I realized that it was nothing. You and I signed a contract. That’s the point. It’s beneficial for the two of us to date. Through this, you can solve the financial problem and dispel rumors. You can keep me as your nominal wife and live as you have, right?”

“What kind of bullshit…”

“And our dates benefit me too. With you, I can do my job without having to get involved with Beralt or any other men. How is it, I guessed well, right?”

“Ha ha ha…”

Ian laughed again, seemingly in vain. He loosened his hand from supporting my chin and giggled like someone possessed by something.

I looked at him quietly and narrowed my brows. Why was he laughing? Was he crazy?

“Wow, Lawrence. No, Lady Lawrence. I knew you were a really great young lady, but I didn’t know that you were such a single-minded lady. I never thought you would take what I said that way. That’s amazing. Accept it that way…”

Ian shook his head, let out a deep sigh, and nodded this time as if he understood.

“Let me ask something.”

“What?”

“Why do you think I kissed you then?”

At a party? For public display? What should I say…?

“Well, in a broad sense, wouldn’t it be safe to say it’s a kiss between friends? A sign of friendship?”

“A sign of friendship…”

He smiled bitterly and licked his lips. Why was he like that? He had to open his mouth again to his seemingly incomprehensible words and actions. The conversation wasn’t over before. I wanted to bring out the words that had upset and confused me and give me another shot. However, the words that were trying to come out of my open mouth did not come out as before. No, to be precise, it was after my mouth was blocked by Ian’s lips that approached me in an instant.

What was this now? My hair turned white. No matter how much you think it’s okay to think of it as a kiss between friends of the same sex, this wasn’t it. I was not saying he could kiss me every now and then!

Contrary to my thoughts, however, my body was still. I just froze until Ian took his lips first and looked down. It seemed that my breath had stopped. The second kiss after yesterday, what does this mean? Yesterday was a performance to become the main character, then today…?

“How is it? Do you think you kissed with a friend?”

“Then isn’t it?”

“No. I’m just getting mad.”

“Why…?”

Ian stroked his lips again and slowly let go of the rhyme with those red lips.

“This man is angry with you for dismissing the courageous confession as trivial.”

“…Courage? Confession?”

My head was pounding. I couldn’t understand what I was just hearing. Why was the conversation going like this?

“In addition to that, I hope you think of it as a small complaint about not being able to sleep because of the confession I made yesterday.”

After he finished his last words, he hugged me and kissed my lips. It was a passionate and different kiss than before.

Strong… Third… I stopped thinking.

* * *

My heart skipped a beat at Ian’s unexpected action. Should I say I was surprised? Even though I knew that Ian liked men, I liked his unique warmth. For example, the kindness of hugging me. I hasn’t been hugged by anyone since my grandfather passed away. As a result, I naturally forgot about human warmth.

People felt sorry for the young aristocrat who carried the family, especially the noble lady. Leading a family at a young age was never easy. Also, people sympathized with the burden of carrying my sick younger sister, even superficially.

However, there were also overflowing people who wanted to use me. While pretending to help on the outside, if they pry behind me, sure enough, they were preparing to stab me in the back. Fraud and embezzlement were basic, so the contract had to be thorough. There were also overflowing clauses that could cause great damage if they were clumsy. Even though I studied under my grandfather for a long time, the moment I met them, all I could do was become colder.

It was a very habitual tactic to appeal to me as a young woman with feelings and sympathy. Families, friends, acquaintances, and those who emphasized their circumstances were caught cold. Then, the title “cold-blooded” was attached. The contract also had to be confirmed by Sana Hall. It has been reviewed and re-examined in various ways. As the wait got longer, more people cursed at me and criticized me. It was clear that most of those people had done something wrong with the contract, so they didn’t carry on with the deal anymore.

In addition to sexual harassment, there were also obscene people who demanded a bed under the pretext of contract. Even more surprising was the fact that there were women among the humans who said such things. I knew there were a lot of crazy people in the world, but I couldn’t understand how these guys could be nobles and do business. Of course, there were far more people who had good deals and contracts than these people. However, one by one, people became unable to trust others, and people left in deep-rooted doubts.

I was marginalized little by little. Beralt and Ersia, the only family I thought I could lean on, criticized and insulted me behind the scenes, destroying the family. I was standing alone in the harsh wind on a desolate cliff without a place to rest. Believing that there will be hope for me when this wild storm is over. But that hope was shattered miserably. In the words of a foolish woman, it is indeed miserable. After waking up again on the hills of Forlil and facing my grandfather, I made up my mind. I said I wouldn’t trust anyone. I thought that I would keep this position even stronger without trusting anyone, and that I did not need anyone’s help or reliance. However, it seemed as if my promise came to a halt the moment I was embraced by Ian’s warm arms. As if the driving force that moved me and the power to live on had stopped working, I could only feel Ian’s trembling and body temperature.

Why was I trembling like this? I couldn’t understand. I remembered his confident and relaxed smile.

Ian liked men. So I chose him.

I couldn’t trust men, no people. Therefore, I considered it impossible to even have a relationship, let alone a relationship. So Ian was perfect. He wouldn’t want love from me, and I wouldn’t love him either.

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