Chapter 4
After spending the whole night thinking, I headed to the broadcasting station for a meeting with the writer without telling my family.
Not too long ago, this place had been familiar to me, but today it felt oddly distant.
There were many people inside the station, and I instinctively pulled my cap down lower to avoid drawing attention.
While turning my head to look for the writer, a woman dressed in a simple shirt and jeans caught my eye.
‘That must be her.’
“Hello.”
I carefully approached and greeted her.
“Oh. Yoonseul, you’re here.”
The writer greeted me with a bright smile.
“Let’s head inside first.”
“Sure.”
I followed her to an office room.
“Here we are.”
When we entered, there was a small table and a few chairs scattered around.
“You’re here?”
A person who looked like the PD waved at me.
“Hello, I’m Seo Yoonseul.”
I bowed politely.
“Take a seat.”
“Thank you.”
The PD and the writer sat side by side, and I took a seat across from them.
I was so nervous that my throat felt parched.
“You don’t drink coffee, so I brought iced chocolate. Is that okay?”
“Oh, thank you.”
The writer brought over coffee and iced chocolate from the corner—probably something she had prepared in advance.
“Let’s just talk casually while enjoying the drinks.”
“Okay.”
That small gesture of consideration, preparing something other than coffee just for me, helped ease my nerves.
Even my company had never shown me such kindness.
‘Back then, they just told me to drink an Americano and stop worrying about calories. Thinking about it now, they probably didn’t even want to waste money on coffee for me.’
As I took a sip of the iced chocolate, the PD spoke again.
“We watched all of your videos, Yoonseul. Even your live stream.”
That one sentence carried a lot of weight.
Unlike the other contestants who had zero background or recognition, I came with negative public opinion.
That could be a double-edged sword for the show.
Since I was somewhat known, I’d naturally attract attention. But that also meant people might bring their negative feelings toward me into the show.
I knew that. And surely, the staff here did too.
‘I thought this might be my last chance… but maybe even that’s slipping away.’
“So we actually did some digging into your background, and we found out that in school, you were just a student focused on soccer. You liked sweets so much that you wouldn’t even drink coffee, and you never touched alcohol.”
“Sorry? Ah, yes. That’s right.”
I expected them to start with an apology or rejection, but they started listing things they’d learned about me instead. It was a bit surprising.
“Honestly, we were lacking someone to push as the main vocalist, and then we saw you. So we thought it over and realized—there’s no reason we should say no. We’d love to have you on the show. By the way, what’s your contract status with your former agency?”
“It ended. No penalties involved, but I agreed not to mention the company publicly.”
The PD’s expression shifted into one of disbelief.
“They’re seriously awful.”
“Pardon?”
“I mean, with a name like Gangster M, you must’ve already finished all your financial settlements, right?”
I gave a small nod. I had indeed received my final payments.
“They terminated your contract just because they couldn’t manipulate you the way they wanted. And the real reason for termination was totally on them.”
“Exactly.”
The PD and writer started getting worked up, as if this were happening to them.
“They really need to stop playing around with these kids’ careers.”
“There have always been rumors that LM sees artists as nothing more than money-makers.”
“Um, excuse me…”
I gently interrupted their ranting.
“Yes? Do you want to say something?”
“So… does that mean I can join the show?”
“That’s what we want to ask you. The situation being what it is, if you join this program, there’s bound to be a lot of talk. Can you handle it? I can’t protect you unconditionally for the sake of the show. You know how people talk about ‘evil editing’ these days. That’s something we might have to do.”
Rather than being disappointed, I appreciated the honesty.
People always say, “We won’t include that,” or “It won’t be shown on the broadcast,” but once the show airs, they never keep their word.
So when I got contacted, I was already prepared for the possibility of being “edited into a villain.”
“I’m okay with it. Public opinion has always been bad since our leader left, so I’m used to it. Honestly… I’ve never even been cheered for once.”
I gave a bitter smile.
The public had never been kind to me.
There were always harsh words—never anything warm.
That’s when I learned that even writing could carry malice.
“You haven’t checked online lately, have you?”
“Sorry?”
I hadn’t looked up anything on purpose, afraid of what I might see.
Even the DM from the writer—if I hadn’t been using my phone at the time—I probably wouldn’t have checked it until much later.
“I don’t want to spoil it, so take a look when you get home. I think it’ll mean more if you see it yourself.”
“Alright.”
I didn’t really get what they meant, but since I wasn’t about to check my phone right now anyway, I could only nod.
“You’ll join the show, right?”
“Yes. I want to.”
“Great. Our first shoot is in a month. You’ll need to pass a skill evaluation, so bring a prepared song and dance. We’ll send you a self-introduction form today, so please fill it out by hand and send it back.”
“Okay.”
“Then we’ll also show you the contract—take your time reading it.”
Without even getting a chance to tell my family, I signed the contract and headed home.
I didn’t want to let this chance slip away—thinking of it as my last.
‘But what did they mean by telling me to check the internet myself?’
I had purposely avoided SNS, expecting it to be filled with the usual mockery. But now I was curious.
‘Just once. Let me check it just once.’
To be honest, a small part of me was hoping.
The PD hadn’t reacted negatively when bringing it up… so maybe, just maybe…
[Wow. Seo Yoonseul is really doing the most. Just say you still want to be an idol.]
↳ Lololol my thoughts exactly.
↳ Agreed 100%.
[Hahaha what a legendary livestream. Both the company and Yoonseul are a joke. But hey, look at him smoothly promoting himself.]
↳ For real lol. He’s saying he’s never dated or drank. Anyone can say that.
It was the same as always.
Mocking, criticizing words filled the comments.
‘What was I even hoping for?’
Just one more scroll, I told myself.
[Summary of Seo Yoonseul’s live stream:]
– Company told him to apologize, but he didn’t because he did nothing wrong.
– Regarding leader Park Suhyeol’s school bullying scandal: if he had known, he would’ve stopped the debut. Said he seemed like a good guy.
– Main dancer Yoo Jinhyung: Said he couldn’t control personal lives, only told him to be discreet for the team’s sake.
– Youngest Choi Junseong: Said even with a tracking app, he couldn’t stop him from doing drugs at a party. Trusted him because he wore a suit and talked about family. But this was the result.
– Seo Yoonseul: Doesn’t even drink coffee, let alone alcohol. Rarely leaves the house. Claims to be a forever single. Said he only practiced and never dated. Was a regular friendly student at school.
Isn’t that the kind of idol you feel safe supporting?
↳ Thanks for the detailed summary. Was curious but didn’t want to watch.
↳ This company is messed up. Why make the innocent member apologize?
↳ Right? Suhyeol leaves, Jinhyung leads an apology stream. Then Jinhyung leaves, and now Yoonseul has to apologize? Why is the one who did nothing wrong the one apologizing?
It was a detailed post summarizing my livestream.
The replies… were different this time.
They were trying to understand me.
[Looks like Seo Yoonseul left his agency.]
↳ ????
↳ Huh?
[His name disappeared from the company website. I double-checked—it’s not a glitch. They deleted it.]
It had only been a day since I left.
‘They deleted it right after I walked out of the CEO’s office.’
[Confirmed. His name’s gone from the agency site. And get this—they posted today that they’re debuting a new idol group. Not a girl group—a boy group.]
↳ What?
↳ Already?
That agency… really had no loyalty to the end.
‘The new boy idols debuting… It’s probably them.’
Those who debuted with me…
