When I glanced at Pervin’s unexpected remark, his face turned red. He bites his lip for no reason and the eyes that look at me are full of power. The green eyes that had not left me shook greatly. It was strange. Why does he look angry after saying such a thing?
-Honestly, I want to keep this side of you to myself.
When I remembered his languid voice again, I was confused. I know for sure that you hate me, but why are you saying that now? And why are you giving me flowers on the way? Why are you kissing the back of my hand? Why are you holding my hand? Why do you act like you do to your beloved wife, man? In the original work, why are you doing romantic things to me that you would only do to the female protagonist, when you don’t have any feelings for me at all? I wanted to tell him these things right now, but I couldn’t help but notice the people talking to us next to us.
‘Oh my, it looks like the Duke of Carlisle is in love with his wife. Well, how touched must you be that such a beautiful song is dedicated only to the Duke.’
‘What a chivalrous spirit, kissing the back of the hand and offering flowers! Normally, you would treat a woman like a stone, but was it just a paving stone to do this to her wife?’
‘That person can smile like that… It is truly a masterpiece, a masterpiece. I’ve always been jealous, but right now, I’m really jealous of the Duchess of Carlisle.’
‘I can’t believe you are a duke who behaves like that in public in front of others. I can’t even imagine the cold face I saw in the imperial palace.’
‘As expected, I was impressed that the Duchess presented an outstanding performance to the Duke. Your efforts were not in vain.’
Everyone was looking at us as if they were expecting the sweetness of a married couple. At this time, when the ladies and the royal family were staring at us, I couldn’t break the mood. I decided to put off what I wanted to say until later. I grinned and gently pushed his hand aside.
“I will listen to this song again if I have a good opportunity.”
“…”
Pervin looks at my hand that was thrown away from his, and for a moment he looks at me. Would it be an illusion if he seemed to be somewhat disappointed when he was clenching his teeth? I thought he was just leaving, but he stood next to me and politely raised his voice in front of the invited guests.
“Everyone, please give a big round of applause to my wife, who showed a brilliant performance today.”
Loud applause broke out as if they had been waiting for it. I was proud and proud of their sincere reactions, but the most important thing was Pervin’s reaction. Still, when I saw people praising my performance in front of others, I thought it wasn’t a bad thing. Of course, he said some strange things earlier, like wanting to monopolize me.
* * *
After the performance, it was time for many guests to freely socialize. The Marchioness Celestine, who was with the Empress, was seen waving her hand and gesturing for her to come this way. I was about to go there, but someone grabbed my hand. Pervin, who was guarding next to me, was looking down at me as if asking where I was going. Come to think of it, he hasn’t left my surroundings since a while ago. I shook his hand hard as if to let him go, but he kept tying me tightly with his hands clasped together. Those long, pretty fingers tied me like a chain. Just as I was about to open my mouth to ask why I was like this, he spoke quickly.
“I’m anxious to be left alone.”
“I feel better now, and there are many other people here.”
He seemed speechless for a moment at my answer, but then quickly rolled his eyes. I could see the fingers intertwined on my hand folding and opening for no reason. Angry tendons stood out on the backs of his white hands. Soon an overly firm voice was heard.
“Didn’t you say that you would fulfill your duties as a duchess? Then, I think we should show our natural appearance in front of people.”
It seemed like a forced reason, but I couldn’t help but nod at the sorrowful expressions on the faces of the women calling me from the other side. And, as he said, it was a good thing for me to be seen as a good couple in front of people.
“That’s right.”
At my answer, he gave me an arrogant look and held my hand tightly. In the end, I walked around the halls holding hands with him throughout the banquet. There was some awkwardness when we first clasped hands, but he didn’t take my hand away until the end. His hands were calloused and hard, perhaps because he had been working with a sword all his life, but the feel of his slender fingers wrapping around me was extremely soft. From time to time, I would ignore him and hang out with other women naturally, but every time I did that, he would stand by my side. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that bad with Pervin by my side. The Duke of Sibelom, who was always looking for my side, did not dare to approach me, and the noble ladies who saw Pervin, who followed me around and took care of me in many ways, dismissed all rumors of a discord between my husband and me as nonsense. They clasped their hands together and served, and now, from somewhere, they brought round chocolates piled in rustling wrappers. He held a round piece of chocolate between his thumb and index finger and held it out to me.
“Oh, do it.”
Contrary to his friendly behavior, his eyebrows were tense and his face was very red. Of course, on the surface it was an extremely romantic act. But in my opinion, it’s just embarrassing. Why are we doing something we never used to do today, just like a couple who got along well? Despite my embarrassed expression, Pervin didn’t care and held out the chocolate. I couldn’t just pass by. The women next to us were all laughing and paying attention to us.
“You must be embarrassed, Duke. Please eat it quickly, madam.”
Eventually, he opened his mouth and took the chocolate and ate it. As I was pursing his mouth full of doubt, Pervin lifted his slender fingers and cupped my face.
“Huh?”
“It’s on your lips.”
He wiped my lips with the thumbs of both hands. The chocolate powder on the outside of the chocolate must have been on his lips, or you can see the chocolate powder on his white fingers. He casually licked the chocolate off his fingers and then looked at me again. When he meets my suspicious eyes, he looks away again. There is nothing better than winning an award. Why does someone who doesn’t even like me that much, someone who said they would just watch over me, do this in front of other people? Why are you cooperating with me?
* * *
While chatting with the women, the husbands took them away one by one, and the place was empty. Before we knew it, it was just the two of us left. As I remained with Pervin in a crowded place, I became nervous. So she quietly spoke to the man next to her.
“Now you can leave too. You’ve been by my side for too long.”
“I will stay by your side until the end.”
She was even more confused when she saw him speaking without a second’s hesitation. The eyes watching from the side have disappeared, so why stick by my side? After thinking for a while about why he was so attached to me, I came to my own conclusion. Just by being with him, I was already receiving favorable attention from people. Whatever his true intentions, I was grateful for the moment. I spoke carefully, paying attention.
“Pervin, thank you so much for today. For staying with me and praising me in front of others.”
He turned at the sound of my voice. He blinked in surprise and responded in a dry voice.
“It was just a momentary whim.”
“They say that if a whim continues, it becomes routine. Can I expect a little from you?”
“Don’t expect anything from me, Irwen. I can’t promise you anything differently. Especially in the current situation.”
“Why? You were so nice to me today.”
I sat closer to his overly stiff response. As my body touched his thigh, I felt his body become solid. It seemed like uncontrollable heat was flowing out of his body. This wasn’t the kindness of giving me chocolate to show off to others, or the gesture of holding me affectionately. Pervin gritted his teeth and growled in a patient voice.
“It was a whim that came out without me knowing, Irwen.”
I raised my hands in response to his stubborn attitude. But it’s really strange. His entire body is armed with the sharpness of a wolf with its teeth bared, but I don’t know why his eyes are shaking like that when he looks at me.
“But it wasn’t without sincerity.”
“Yes?”
I suddenly turned my head at the words that passed quickly from his lips. I couldn’t understand because he spoke in passing, so I stared at him. Pervin’s face was very red.
* * *
When the banquet ended, it was already dark outside.
“I enjoyed watching this great performance, Duchess.”
“Your singing skills were as outstanding as that of a rare singer, Lady Carlisle. I wish I could see you more often in social circles, especially with your singing ability that touches the heart like this.”
“Thank you.”
Every time I saw off a departing guest, they repeatedly praised my singing skills. In particular, the emperor and his wife said they were so moved that they shed tears after hearing my song. The Empress holds my hand and earnestly asks me to attend the noble ladies’ tea parties from now on, and the Emperor even invites me to a ball held at the imperial court.
“Next time, I think it would be a good idea to attend the ball held at the imperial palace and sing a song. No, rather, I need to get confirmation from your wife that she will be attending the ball. It is a loss for the country that such a beautiful and active woman who is also great at singing is not active.”
I was embarrassed by the emperor’s sudden invitation, so I trailed off.
“Ah, but I haven’t been active in social circles…”
I had plans to continue showing my changed side to the social world, but what was important first was my relationship with Pervin. I had to check first whether what I wanted to convey my sincerity through this performance worked. Our relationship needs to be restored before we can engage in social activities. However, the Emperor was a person with stronger drive than expected.
“You can do that from now on! Come on, Pervin! Now, don’t come to the ball alone and show off, take your wife with you.”
Now, at the Emperor’s suggestion to attack Pervin, I turned my head. He was looking at me with an embarrassed expression. The emperor next to him asked him again.
“Pervin, it would be better to give confirmation here.”
“…yes?”
He had been just looking at me from earlier, and ended up missing the Emperor’s words. When he slowly turned his head, the emperor shrugged his shoulders.
“I told you to bring your wife to the next ball.”
The moment Pervin made eye contact with me, he quickly turned his pale green eyes. He tried to act calm, as if he didn’t want me to know he was looking at me. He quickly answered the Emperor with a pale face.
“I didn’t hear you clearly, Your Majesty.”
“How about coming to the royal ball next week with the Duchess? I told you how much I felt because you always attended alone.”
Pervin glanced at me. Because his expression was so relaxed, he put his hands together without realizing it and his eyes sparkled as if he was asking for help. Soon, Pervin’s low voice, almost like a growl, was heard.
“Anyway, Irwen doesn’t know anyone there, and even if he goes out, he’ll feel a lot of awkwardness because he hasn’t been out in social circles for a while. I don’t want to encourage him to go out if he doesn’t want to.”
At that time, the silver-haired Duke Sibelom spoke to me and opened his mouth.
“Don’t worry, Duke Carlisle. I will take charge of Lady Irwen and greet everyone, so you don’t have to worry.”
The Emperor interjected with a sigh.
“Sibelom, don’t do anything presumptuous. Why are you doing this when you are not my husband?”
“Your Majesty, the Duke of Carlisle doesn’t know anything, so I’m giving him advice.”
As if not noticing that the emperor was trying to stop his younger brother with a frustrated expression, Sibel Rom took a step closer to me and said,
“Lady Irwen. Do you know how many aristocratic children and ladies were worried that you, who were called the flower of the Principality of Verma, did not appear in the social circles here? I hope you can quickly show your beautiful face in the social world and let everyone hear your beautiful songs.”
“No, I…”
“It is by His Majesty’s command that you return to society, Lady Irwen.”
Sibelom placed his broad, toad-like hand on me. A blush appeared on Pervin’s white face for an instant. I don’t know if it’s excitement or anger. He swatted away Sibelom’s hand, which was gently grabbing my hand. In an instant, the back of Sibelom’s white hand turned bright red. Sibelom huffed as if he was dumbfounded.
“Pervin, what are you doing, hitting people arbitrarily!”
“Stop because there are annoying bugs. Please forgive my rudeness.”
Pervin held my hand tightly and spoke arrogantly. As he was the Emperor’s right-hand man, it was impossible to mess with him carelessly, so Duke Sibelom just huffed. Pervin, who was holding my hand tightly, had a strong possessive desire in his eyes for an instant. He spoke politely to the emperor, but as if giving a final notice.
“Then I will go to the prom next week with his wife.”
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you then!”
The last guests, the Emperor and his wife, and the Duke of Sibelom left. I stood at a distance from Pervin and saw them off. I smiled kindly at them all the way. Pervin’s lips twitched. The huge door closed, and we were left alone in the entrance hall. I could hear the workers on the other side busily clearing away the remains of the banquet and the sound of cheerful laughter, but this place was frozen and thin. I had to attack this place head on. Since Pervin had answered that he would go with me to the emperor’s ball, I had to hear his answer. I had to decide whether our relationship had actually improved. Did he really listen to my song? Did you understand my sincerity? He definitely gave me flowers earlier, kissed the back of my hand, held my hand, and fed me dessert. It was clearly not a bad reaction. But it was impossible to guess what he was thinking from Pervin’s pale face. He was good at acting like a sweet husband in front of people, but when the two of us were together, he returned to his original cold self. He spoke in a polite but cold voice that seemed to be suppressing something.
“You had a hard time today, then.”
Just as Pervin turned his body and took a step up the stairs. I immediately grabbed his hand and turned him around.
“How was my song today? I put my heart into the lyrics, but I want to hear your honest feelings.”
His large shadow shimmered in the candles placed all over the stairs.
* * *
Pervin held Irwen’s hand and looked down at his wife. Irwen’s confident appearance from beginning to end in the banquet hall was still the same. The way he tackled things head-on was so different from before, when he would always avoid them. He also wanted to be honest with Irwen. He walked firmly, and the lock on her heart had long since been unlocked, and he wanted to tell her that it was only a matter of time before he could get to her. However, the hurt feelings of the past caught up with him. Although he thinks every moment that she is lovely, that she is pretty, that he wants to hug her, the moment he sees her calm face, she always arms herself with this hard mask.
“Let me recognize your efforts. I guess my voice was sore from shouting like that for four years, and it resonated loudly throughout the large banquet hall. It’s not drowned out by the piano sound at all.”
As if this was an unexpected answer, Irwen’s expression suddenly hardened. Pervin’s face distorted at the sight of her disappointment. Her words came out randomly again. It was fortunate that the shadows covered my face thanks to the dim lighting. Because I was too embarrassed to show my joy at Irwen’s every action.
“I want you to look at the lyrics, not the technique of the song, Pervin. I know I did something wrong over the past four years, but that was just because I was crazy from the loneliness of coming from a foreign country. So, in order to devote myself to my duties as a duchess for the remaining year, I expressed my feelings through a song. Do you really not know how I feel?”
“You said you would ask for my forgiveness, that you would hold on to me for leaving… Are you serious?”
“I’m serious.”
Irwen’s powerful and sincere voice filled my ears. Pervin let out a deep breath as her blue eyes sparkled in the dark. Even if I was crazy, I was definitely crazy. For the past four years, she had suffered so much because of Irwen, and she couldn’t believe she was falling in love with her again. No, she may have already fallen for it. Brilliant platinum hair fell over her forehead. He pushed his hair back as if he was tired and opened his mouth. Sharp words that went against her feelings poured out.
“It’s impossible for a person to change in an instant.”
I’m actually hoping that you’ve changed.
“For the past four years, I have been patient and patient. And I hoped that there would be fervent sincerity in your dagger-like venom.”
It was natural for me to be patient and bear with you for the past four years, because you are the person I love, and I believed that if I show my sincerity, you will show my sincerity as well.
“But you never showed me your sincerity. And it’s still the same now. “Even now, it seems like they’re just putting on a show.”
It’s true that I was hurt by the sharp emotions you showed me, so I ignored you all this time. But I’m still shaken by every little thing you do, so I want to believe that your actions are sincere. Pervin, who spoke words that were contrary to his feelings, regretted it at that moment. She heard Irwen answer in her calm tone.
“I think so… Yes, I admit it. Your opinion of me can’t change in an instant.”
After what she said, Pervin felt that she had gone too far, so he hurriedly looked at her. She was worried that Irwen might have been hurt by her harsh words that went against her true feelings. Unexpectedly, Irwen had a calm face and opened her mouth.
“People can’t change in an instant, so I didn’t want you to change drastically. Still, I was really thankful for today, Pervin. Okay then, let’s go and rest.”
A blush appeared on Pervin’s pale face. Are you giving up on me already, Irwen? You can’t back away this easily, you have to hold on to me more. You have to show your true sweet self in front of people and ask them why they show a sharp attitude that you don’t even know they have in front of you. As Irwen passed him, she heard the hem of her long dress being dragged. Pervin’s lips trembled as he looked at her back. She shouldn’t keep showing her greed. The moment she lets out her lust, she becomes unable to control herself from lusting for her. She will become obsessed with her. It was her future, her present in progress, from the moment I first saw her. Pervin hurried up her stairs and dragged her by the waist around the corner of her hallway.
“Don’t go, Irwen.”
The moment when her body spins and settles into her own arms. With his hands wrapped tightly around her head and waist, Pervin buried his face in her luscious hair. It must have been an accidental accident, but I just caught her to tell her what she couldn’t say. She found herself digging deeper into her.
—————————————————————
Translator Note:
Hello there! This is RJR. I hope you liked it <3
If you like my work please support me with Ko-fi or Patreon. Next post will be released on November, 14.
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