As he stared at me and came closer, I took a step back without realizing it. Pervin came striding towards me. Before I knew it, I felt a cold wall against my back. Finally he stopped and fixed his eyes on my face. Feeling burdened by his hot gaze, I glanced over his body for no reason. The dark blue uniform he wore tastefully matched his brilliant platinum-blonde hair, making him dazzling. But I didn’t really have time to admire his beauty for long. Me and him in my bedroom, just the two of us. We’re not a good couple, what kind of situation is this? I swallowed my saliva without realizing it and whispered.
“Excuse me… You have to go down and take a look…”
“I think this is more urgent.”
He bit his lip as if he was frustrated. He glanced down at me with a lazy gaze. The heat filled with light green eyes was a strangeness that could not be interpreted at all. I bit my lip without realizing it. He reached out his hand to me. The moment I reflexively raised my arm and kicked him away without realizing it. Pervin, who was hit by me for no reason, opened his mouth as if he was dumbfounded.
“Is this your true intention? Did you want to hit me?”
“It’s because you look at me like that.”
“Your hair was falling down and I was trying to hand it over.”
Without saying a word, Pervin moved a long strand of hair from my face and behind my ear. I got my hair done with Mrs. Tilly’s help, but I guess it was a little disheveled from practicing singing so passionately. Oh, it’s embarrassing. Pervin looked at my embarrassed face and laughed. He laughed… He laughed? That cold-hearted man laughed in front of me?
“What were you imagining?”
“No, I… What did you do?”
“I just relieved some tension. Of course, there’s no way a woman like you would be nervous…”
We’re not a couple who gets along well enough to ease the tension, right? No, can we assume that he is starting to change now? As I stared at him, Pervin tilted his head slightly to the side.
“Is it okay to think that you have adapted to my changed appearance? Yes?”
In response to my question, he cleared his throat. His ears were slightly red.
“Let’s go. Everyone is waiting for you.”
His voice sounded slightly cracked. Seeing that he didn’t answer and was busy walking towards the door, it seems like he still keeps a distance from me. I slowly followed him, holding the hem of his long dress.
* * *
I wanted to hurry down the long hallway, but the dress that hung down to my toes was holding me back. When I reached the stairs going down to the first floor, my foot caught on the hem of my dress and I stumbled. The moment I struggled with my arms to keep my balance, he held my hand. With his firm hand, I quickly regained my balance. Pervin looked at me and asked indifferently.
“Are you really nervous?”
“I told you before, I’m really nervous.”
“I think it’s just singing a song. You’re not close to all of them, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if you don’t do it.”
He spoke so casually that I felt a little disappointed. I stopped him and looked at him as if asking why, but I spoke clearly to him.
“The song I will sing today is entirely for you, Pervin. So, of course I’m nervous.”
“A song just for me?”
“Yes, this song is just for you, no one else. So please listen carefully and don’t ignore it.”
I bit my lip and blinked as I stared at him. Since he didn’t respond, I tilted his head slightly to the side and took a step closer. He just flinched and looked down at me. It’s a bit disappointing that I confessed my sincerity as best as I could, but there was no response. As I puffed out my cheeks and gave him an excited expression, Pervin’s face froze for a moment.
“No matter how much you don’t have expectations, I said I prepared a song just for you, so you don’t have anything to say? I’m sad, really.”
Only then did Pervin open his mouth. It was quite suspicious that she took a step away from me and covered half of her face with her large hands. I don’t know why my ears are red.
“Don’t let anyone else see you like this.”
“What does it look like?”
“Anyway, what I’m saying is that you should only show a pretentious side of yourself in front of others, not an honest side. Because this is enough for me.”
Pervin scolded her and grabbed the hem of her dress. Now even his ears are red and he doesn’t even look at my face. Did I overdo it? Anyway, I feel more and more confused because I feel like I’m feeling this way and that, I’m feeling good and bad, and my tone is kind and then blunt and then jumping around. I carefully came down, holding Pervin’s hand lightly. It was only after the tension had subsided that I realized that his hand holding my hand was quite gentle.
* * *
On the first floor, invited royal family members and nobles stood admiring the Carlyle Mansion, which they had visited for the first time in a long time. It was a mansion that Erwin Carlisle, the 6th-great-great-grandfather of the current Duke of Carlisle, who was the youngest son of the imperial family, received as a gift from the imperial family and has continued to this day. The Duke’s residence’s antique exterior and magnificent interior gave off an atmosphere that could not be compared to any other mansion in the capital. People who came here for the first time and those who visited after a long time were amazed and admired the surroundings.
“Nothing has changed here. It’s the same as it was during the time of the previous Duke of Carlisle.”
“I guess the current Duchess hasn’t really tried her hand at it.”
“It looks like you have no interest in doing housework at all.”
“Anyway, when on earth are the Duke and Duchess coming down? I want to see with my own eyes how much the Duchess has changed.”
“That goes for me too. Plus, they said they were singing today. I heard it’s a difficult song that goes up three octaves.”
“You mean the Duchess sang that well? But I don’t know why the cultural festival is being held here now.”
“I think they are probably trying to help the Duke of Carlisle in earnest. Look, the noble Duchess of Carlisle is giving a performance, so she even came to see the Duke of Sibel Rome.”
“She wouldn’t have come if she had seen the Duke of Carlisle, but the Duchess is very powerful.”
The nobles, who were served by servants and eating refreshments prepared in advance, talked for a long time about the ‘rumored Duchess of Carlisle.’ Even as they talked as if they were familiar, their eyes kept turning to the stairs. It was a historic day for the Duchess of Carlisle to finally make her appearance today. She did not do any of her duties as a duchess, but stayed at her mansion in Carlisle for four years, and only rumors abounded. Irwen Lillias, a vicious wife who verbally abuses her servants, spews out cruel words to her husband, the Duke of Carlisle, and even assaults her. Of course, this is just a hypothesis that no one at Carlisle Manor has ever acknowledged. The duchess’s condition was not spoken of by the faithful servants of Carlisle Manor. However, such rumors were spread by merchants, workers, or messengers who frequented Carlisle Manor. Although it was an unofficial rumor, it was true that the Duchess of Carlisle was a very evil wife. So I was even more curious. Looking at the opening of the cultural festival this time, it is clear that there has been a big change in the Duchess’s feelings… How on earth did the Duchess change? The emperor looked around him expectantly. She frowned as she looked at her only brother, the Duke of Sibelom, who was enjoying his fifth pre-dinner drink next to the Empress. He came on his own initiative, even though he wasn’t invited, and was the one who once pushed for marriage with Irwen. The Duke of Carlisle quickly married Irwen, shattering his grand ambition to have Verma’s famous beau by his side. Sibelom, with her handsome face and impressive thick silver hair, had been asking her maids when the Duchess would come down, and he had made the emperor frown by making an outrageous remark asking if he could be the escort.
“The banquet hasn’t even started yet, so you’re drinking so much. Sibelom, please show some manners.”
“Your Majesty, a banquet is meant to be enjoyed, and isn’t today especially a historic day when the Duchess of Carlisle makes her first appearance in society? Pervin that guy, when was she happy that she took Verma’s flower, I guess she didn’t know that she would be such a bad girl. She is also performing today, it must be a plot planned by that woman to lower Pervin’s prestige!”
“Sibelom, be quiet. Look, Pervin and his wife are coming down.”
Everyone’s attention was focused on Irwen, who was carefully coming down the stairs from the second floor, escorted by Fervin. All the guests were surprised to see the two. Marchioness Celestine blinked at Irwen’s appearance, seeing her for the first time since her wedding.
“Oh my god… It can’t be that beautiful!”
The Emperor smiled strangely at Pervin’s subtly affectionate gaze. She whispered to him as if the Empress agreed by her side.
“I heard that her wife has been suffering for a while, but the Duke of Carlisle’s attitude towards her is not very good.”
“Clearly, the relationship between the two was so cold that it was thought that it was a war zone during the wedding. But, it seems like things are better now. It’s really strange…”
The Emperor stroked her chin and gazed at Pervin. When Pervin whispered something about her to Irwen, Irwen was startled and put her hands together. Pervin smiled faintly at that sight. The Emperor tilted his head as if he was puzzled. It was truly strange to her that Pervin could have such warm eyes.
* * *
Pervin, who I thought would escort me and go off to her own group, unexpectedly introduced me to several people. With his help, she greeted the ladies, and she exchanged warm greetings with the Marquis de Celestin and his wife. Marquis Celestine, a close friend of Pervin, looked at me and whispered something to Pervin excitedly. When I said sorry and thanked the Marchioness for hosting the cultural festival every time it was my turn, the kind-hearted woman smiled generously and held my hand tightly. Rather, she was sorry that she had not been able to approach me with interest and only followed orders, and she was the one who said this to me.
“If I had known she was such a lovely person, I would have become friends with her a long time ago.”
After a pleasant greeting, I went to say hello to the royal family. In fact, he was supposed to greet the royal family first, but Pervin had been putting it off for some unknown reason, and now it was time to do it.
“I meet His Majesty the Emperor, His Majesty the Empress, and His Royal Highness the Duke of Sibelom.”
“This is the first time since the wedding, it’s been a long time.”
The dark blonde haired empress gave me a curious look and spoke kindly. I nodded my head quietly. The emperor next to him spoke in a heavy voice.
“I was worried that his health may have suffered because he has not been seen in the imperial palace or social circles for four years, but I am glad that his face does not seem to have suffered much. I heard you fainted. Is there anything wrong with your health?”
“Yes that’s right.”
“Then, from now on, please hold these meetings more often, and especially attend the dance with Pervin. She felt so pitiful when she saw Pervin alone and lonely…”
“Your majesty!”
Pervin seemed embarrassed and silenced the Emperor. Duke Sibelom, who was next to him, chimed in.
“He went out of his way to take the princess of Verma as his wife, but was unable to accompany her to the ball or attend social gatherings with her. It’s a shame, Lord Carlisle, to take her just because of her title. It would have been better if I had taken him…”
A man named Duke Sibelom who glances at my body and speaks. I had the feeling that Pervin was trying to defend me by pulling me to him. Since he was a character who did not have much description in the original work, I was wary of him. But one thing is certain: Although he is handsome, he is grumpy and rude, and somehow he seems like someone you should not get close to. I looked the Emperor in the eyes and spoke politely.
“I am truly sorry for not being able to fulfill my responsibilities and duties over the past four years. But now I will do my best as Duchess. As the first example, I will show you a performance today, so please look forward to it.”
“Ma’am, I’m ready!”
The pianist waved at me in front of the grand piano. I left Pervin’s side and headed to the piano. The guests’ eyes turned to us. I cleared my throat and spoke to the audience.
“Thank you so much to everyone who came here. The song I will sing today is called ‘I can’t help but feel sorry for you who left’. My husband…”
Pervin, who was standing next to the emperor, focused his eyes on me.
“…This is a song dedicated to Pervin. Then let’s begin.”
The ladies whispered with expectant eyes.
“Did the Duchess have a talent for singing?”
“I’ve never even heard a voice properly, but when have we ever heard a song?”
“I asked the people who use it earlier, and they said that you are really good at it. It is a voice from heaven.”
The pianist’s intro was faintly played. I looked at Pervin and began to sing the song.
“He went away from me. He knows why he left, it’s all my fault, I didn’t show him the truth.”
People around me who were listening to the lyrics of the song looked surprised and started whispering.
“Are you saying you convey your feelings through singing? It’s a novel method.”
“More than that, you’re really good at singing, right? It’s like paying money to see a performance.”
There were more positive reactions from people around me than I expected, so I gained strength and continued singing. I glanced at Pervin to see how he would react, but his face seemed to be getting redder for some reason. When the Marquis Celestine next to her says something to him as if it’s funny, Per Vin is seen shaking her head hastily. If you’re feeling embarrassed, I’d say put that shame away a long time ago. Because there are still highlights.
“But that’s just me in the past, and I’m different now. You must have been hurt and hurt by my past mistakes. I, who have completely changed, will heal your wounds, so I will treat you well. You left me, but I want to catch you. Please look back at me, who has completely changed, oh, oh, oh!”
Shouting three high-pitched notes with all her might, she fell to her knees in front of Pervin. His face turned red, as if he was embarrassed, but I continued to sing. Not only are you ashamed, I am also ashamed. However, it is more important for Pervin to have a change of heart after hearing my song than to be embarrassed in front of many people. He knelt down, put his hands together, sang earnestly as if he were praying, and looked at Pervin. He tried to lift me up, but I shook his head and continued singing while kneeling near him. The passionate song was almost over, and I repeated the last part, sobbing.
“Give me one chance, please forgive me.”
Some people covered their faces with fans as if they were embarrassed, and some men were suppressing laughter without even realizing it. But most of them glanced back and forth between Pervin and me.
“Oh my god… Please forgive me for doing something like that.”
“By the way, did the Duchess sing that well? I can’t believe he pulled out those high notes effortlessly and refreshingly. Even the best singers in the empire can’t sing like that.”
“The delivery of the lyrics is also excellent. It’s like a song dedicated to the Duke of Carlisle, and the lyrics are very detailed in every line.”
“You sing really well. How did you manage to hide such skills?”
“Anyway, it seems like your wife has really changed.”
The reactions of those around me are okay, but what about Pervin? At first he looked confused and didn’t know what to do, but now he was showing an incomprehensible and complex expression.
* * *
The Duchess of Carlisle passionately sings a heartfelt song. And her eyes are lost in her Pervin’s staring intensely at her. The Emperor looked at Pervin with amusement and bent her body towards her.
“It’s almost embarrassing to be here listening to such high-quality songs for free, Pervin. Moreover, I think it was an excellent choice for her wife to convey her feelings through her song. At least all of our hearts were touched. But what do you think?”
“I’m just worried that Irwen’s performance might be rude when His Majesty is here.”
“How can you be so stubborn? Shouldn’t we at least admit that her wife’s performance was objectively very good? Who told me earlier that she had been working hard for this stage for weeks, and she puts in that kind of effort like no one does.”
“Yes, I guess so…”
“You’re so obsessed with your wife that you don’t even listen to what I say. Okay, enjoy it.”
It had been a long time since all of Pervin’s attention had been turned to Irwen, to the point where the emperor’s words were in one ear. As the stage continued, various emotions swept over him. At first, there is worry and disbelief that Irwen sings only for himself, in the middle there is emotion and worry that Irwen sings with all his might, and at the end, Irwen gets down on his knees and sings sobbing. When I saw Irwen…
‘I want to hold her in my arms and comfort her right now.’
The passionate look of her wife begging for forgiveness, and the husband desperately wanting to hug her. That was what Perwin and Irwen were like now. I wanted to lift Irwen up from her floor and hug her, but she refused the favor and continued her song, kneeling on her floor. Pervin could not stop his wife’s passion. As she clenched and unclenched her fists, I could see her pale green eyes repeatedly getting darker as she suppressed her instincts. At that time, Duke Sibelom, who was listening to Irwen’s song next to Pervin, was heard muttering.
“A beautiful flower adds the scent of a song… As expected, I want it.”
She said she muttered quietly so that no one could hear, but Pervin, who had sharp ears, heard her. Pervin’s eyes responded indifferently. Sparks flew in the dark green. At the end of the song, Irwen got up from the floor and adjusted her dress. When Duke Sibelom was seen leaning forward to hand the rose in her arms to Irwen, Pervin jumped up and approached Irwen. He took out from his chest a bunch of lily of the valley flowers he had picked at dawn. The moment when everyone’s attention was focused. Pervin placed a lily of the valley in Irwen’s hand. Giving flowers to a woman means courtship and…
“I enjoyed the song, Irwen.”
“Thank you.”
When Irwen was taken aback, as if he hadn’t expected such a reaction, he went one step further. She kissed the back of Irwen’s hand as he gave her the lily of the valley. He added sweetly, not paying attention to the fact that Duke Sibelom’s face had turned red, and only staring into Irwen’s shaking walls.
“But, I’d like you to sing this song again when you’re alone with me.”
When Irwen looked at him in bewilderment, as if asking why he was like this, he shamelessly added one word.
“Honestly, I want to keep this side of you to myself.”
It had been a long time since his mouth was controlled by his heart, not his mind. His passionate feelings for Irwen, which he thought had been sealed and frozen a long time ago.
—————————————————————
Translator Note:
Hello there! This is RJR. I hope you liked it <3
If you like my work please support me with Ko-fi or Patreon. Next post will be released on November, 11.
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