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Upon returning to the Dicarsignac mansion, Dolorosa did not go straight inside but sat on the steps at the entrance to the mansion. As she wrapped her arms around her knees, she thought about Rachel’s embrace for a long time.
‘Soft, fluffy, sweet scent, kind voice, kind words. Is dad like this too?’
She knew he wasn’t, but still wanted to compare, so she waited patiently for Cian to return.
‘I thought I didn’t need a mom, but I envy Graham. Why are moms and dads so different? Why don’t I have a mom?’
The seven-year-old’s head was thinking so hard it was practically steaming.
‘Graham says he doesn’t have a dad, but if I have a mom, does that mean I have to give up my dad? ‘No, lots of kids have both moms and dads.’
Dolorosa wished for something she’d never wished for before.
‘I wish I had a mommy, too. It’d make me so happy to rub my cheek against her soft arms every day, just like Graham does. Should I tell Daddy? He listens to anything I want. Yes, I think I will.’
By the time Dolorosa made up her mind, Cian had returned to the mansion. Dressed in pristine clothes, he stepped out of the carriage and was surprised to see his daughter sitting on the steps.
“Dolly, what are you doing here?”
“Dad, I’ve been waiting for you!”
Dolorosa jumped up from her seat and ran to hug Cian.
The sight of his daughter running up and hugging him as soon as he got home was lovelier anything. Cian closed his eyes and smiled brightly. He lifted his daughter high into the air, holding onto his waist, embracing her tightly in his arms.
Dolorosa giggled and clung to her father’s neck.
This was good. Her dad was the best in the world, whether it was his gentle laughter, his occasional scolding, his soothing hugs, or his strong embrace.
‘But… It’s different. Lady Rachel’s neck and shoulders aren’t as firm. Dad smells like wood, but Lady Rachel smells like sweet sugar cookies.’
She hugged her father’s neck tighter than usual in her distress.
Cian patted Dolorosa on the back.
“Dolly, what’s wrong? Did something bad happen today?”
“…Dad.”
“Yeah.”
“Dolly likes cherries.”
“…”
It was a code that was only for Cian and Dolorosa. It was a cute promise to tell a secret.
Cian quickly dismissed the carriage and servant and went to the garden with Dolorosa. Sitting down in the center of the sunset garden, he spoke quietly to his daughter, who was clinging to his neck, not letting go.
“Cian likes raspberries.”
“You know, Dad…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Why don’t I have a mother?”
“…”
He was speechless.
How could he tell her that her mother was a maid who served His Majesty the Emperor and ran away as soon as she gave birth to her?
Cian didn’t even know if the maid was dead or alive. If it were Sigar, there was a good chance she wouldn’t have been left alive. He didn’t look into it because he didn’t want to know.
Why was she suddenly looking for her mom?
She’d never asked about her mother’s existence before…
‘Dolly likes her dad the most! All I need is Dad!’
Cian was a good father. He did his best for Dolorosa, he was affectionate and showered her with love.
But there were many things he couldn’t do for her because he was alone, because he was too busy, even two bodies wouldn’t be enough. He couldn’t be there for all the small, but important, activities like shopping, picking out a dress, and enjoying tea time.
He didn’t know how to answer, so he pursed his lips and then asked a difficult question.
“Why are you asking about your mom all of a sudden?”
“Because I met Lady Rachel earlier today.”
…Rachel?
Why did Rachel’s name come up?
He tried to control his wildly pounding heart and listened to Dolorosa as she spoke.
“I just happened to be held in her arms, and she smelled sweet and was fluffy and felt so good. Graham always brags about how he likes his mom better than his dad… So, I got curious.”
“I see.”
“Daddy, I want a mom too, so please get me one.”
Cian smiled bitterly at the request.
“What do I do? I’m sorry, but I can’t get you a mom.”
“Why?”
” Well… Because to be Dolorosa’s mom, she’d have to marry Dad, and Dad can’t marry.”
“You can’t get married? Why not? Anyone can get married if they love someone!”
“Is that so?”
Sigar was blocking Cian’s path completely. He wasn’t the kind of person who’d allow Cian to expand his power through marriage.
Maybe he was thinking about pairing him up with a nameless noble or commoner from the countryside.
However, Cian did not honestly reveal the whole situation to his daughter.
“I’ll do my best to quickly find someone I love so we can get Dolly a mom.”
“Wow, really? Thank you! Dad really is the best after all!”
Dolorosa’s face lit up with pure joy and she hugged him tightly.
After dinner, Cian put Dolorosa to bed and went into his office. He was lost in thought for a while as he touched his pink diamond cufflinks.
‘I want a mom too.’
Cian had let Dolorosa live freely, but it was the first time the child had ever left the mansion alone. Perhaps because the mansion was only right across the street she was able to gather up her courage.
The person Dolorosa, who was obedient and kind, left the mansion alone to go see, was Lady Rachel. When she came home after seeing her, she even asked about her mom, something she’d never done before.
‘Are you thinking about your mom because of Rachel, whom you’ve only met a few times? She’s a thoughtful child.’
He was both happy and bitter. She was finally acting like a child, but it was Rachel, not Cian himself, who made Dolorosa behave that way.
Rachel.
The more he met her, the more he thought about her, the stranger she seemed.
Before he met her, he’d thought she was beautiful but lacked the ability to think.
After talking to her in person, he was intrigued because she was smarter than he’d thought.
Rachel was one of the most talented strategists Cian had ever met.
He wanted to get his hands on her. He approached her intentionally because he wanted to make her one of his people.
As they continued to meet, he realized that behind her smart demeanor was a surprisingly vulnerable side.
How she was surprised when she witnessed her husband’s affair, and the way she placed her goals ahead of her own happiness.
He also learned that she was trying to raise her child properly, without the help of her husband. His heart broke for her as he knew how hard that was.
His desire to just be there and work with her gradually grew. He felt sorry for them. He wanted to protect them, He wanted to help them.
Even though he knew this wasn’t like him, he stepped forward in everything related to Rachel.
He’d been kind to her, hoping to win her trust and keep her under his command.
He sighed as he looked at the letter from Bishop Lylus next to him.
After hearing the news about Rachel, Lylus said he wanted to do something for her and asked Cian for help.
It wasn’t necessary for him to help, but once again, Cian jumped at the chance.
‘Why do I keep doing this?’
For the first time he was experiencing a desire that confused him. His head didn’t understand his emotions and his heart couldn’t explain it rationally.
‘Would it be better to keep my distance from Rachel?’
It was his head that raised the question, but it was his heart that answered.
‘Away from her… Would I even be able to do it?’
Cian already knew it would be impossible. He wasn’t generous enough to let someone so intelligent go.
Even though he was overwhelmed with emotions, he didn’t want to let go of Rachel.
Why?
Cian didn’t know the answer yet.
* * *
Theodore hid under the shadow of the huge wall and peeked into the mansion. Indeed, as the guild’s informant said, security was tight.
‘Just a little bit longer, then it’ll be noon, right?’
It was hard to crouch for so long with legs that became swollen after Berengella’s beating, but there was no other choice. As long as he was able to meet Rachel again, everything would be fine!
At 12 o’clock, the knights began their shift change and the person guarding the hole under the wall disappeared. Rachel and Cian had deliberately left the hole open.
Oblivious to everything, Theodore hurriedly crawled across the ground and passed through the wall. His clothes becoming covered in dirt.
As soon as he entered the mansion, he saw Rachel. She was drinking tea in a beautiful garden.
Theodore approached Rachel as if in a trance.
“Hello, Rachel. I’ve missed you.”
Rachel didn’t look back at Theodore, just sipping her tea in silence.
‘I thought she’d be so happy she’d shed tears when we met again.’
Theodore was at a loss, unfamiliar with Rachel treating him as if he were invisible.
“Rachel. Are you mad because it took me so long to come and see you? I couldn’t help it. It was hard to find you since you moved to this place.”
“…”
“Ah! Are you ignoring me because of all the rumors that I’m planning a rebellion? It’s all just a misunderstanding. I was having an affair, not planning a rebellion. I’ll prove it!”
“You’ll prove it?”
Rachel, who’d been silent the entire time, spoke for the first time. She looked back at Theodore, eyes cold.
“How are you going to prove that you were having an affair?”
Theodore smiled brightly, not realizing how ridiculous the question sounded.
“There are letters from Jane at the Elrosa mansion. It’ll prove that my going out at night and spending money was not a rebellion but an affair!”
“Are you talking about these?”
Rachel lifted the basket she’d set down next to her chair. It contained hundreds of letters. Theodore and Jane’s love letters, which she’d taken with her when she left the mansion.
[Dear Brother Theo,
It’s already been over 100 days since we became lovers.
There are too many insurmountable walls between us. Things like status and age differences. But still, I swear that I will always love you.
Brother will soon marry another woman…]
Theodore checked the letter and jumped up and down with joy.
“Yes! This is it! It’s the one I received right before we got married! Now, with this, my affair is proven!”
“Are you okay with your affair being confirmed?”
“Of course!”
Rachel raised one corner of her mouth and smiled, dumbfounded, splashing the tea from the teacup she was holding onto Theodore.
Slosh!
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