I Became the Mother-in-law of the Regretful Female Lead

The long-awaited victory banquet finally ended.

I returned straight to the mansion with Jeremyon.

Today was quite a satisfying day.

After all, the major mission I set out for—transforming Lilliana—was a success.

Thanks to Jeremyon stepping in at just the right moments, I achieved even greater results than I expected.

‘That guy… asking her to dance at that exact moment—he really has a sense for these things.’

Although it wasn’t entirely planned, I had a feeling it might happen.

Jeremyon surely couldn’t have passed by Lilliana, who looked so lovely tonight.

‘She seemed truly happy earlier.’

I felt relieved, as it seemed like many of the misunderstandings that had piled up between them had finally unraveled.

Yawn.

Suddenly, I let out a yawn.

Perhaps because I had been on edge all day, my body felt heavier than I thought.

Dragging my exhausted self, I headed for the bathroom.

The maids had already prepared the bathwater; the tub was filled with warm water. Dark red rose petals floated on the surface, as if to suit my tastes.

Slowly, I stepped in, starting with my feet.

Soon, the warm water gently enveloped me up to my chest.

I closed my eyes as the rising steam wrapped around me.

It was only then that I truly felt the day was coming to an end.

‘I’ve completed everything I needed to do today.’

I had finished everything I planned. It was time to move on to the next steps.

So, I knew I needed to set my mind afresh and prepare for tomorrow… yet I couldn’t shake off the lingering memories of the victory banquet.

Perhaps it was because the scent from the bath was similar to the rose scent that had filled the balcony?

As I closed my eyes, I felt as if I was back on that night’s balcony.

I was here in the bath… yet my emotions still felt trapped, as if lost in a maze, unable to escape.

“…Tristan.”

In the solitude of the bath, I whispered his name softly.

The name of the person who had impacted my life the most.

The very name of the man I once vowed I’d never let affect me again.

Feeling strangely miserable, I lowered my head.

‘Yes, I’d felt uneasy since the day we reunited.’

At the moment I faced him again, I think I knew deep down.

No matter how much I tried to push him away, we would somehow end up like this again.

…Whenever I was with him, things never went the way I wanted.

Thinking back, it was that way from the very start.

I’d thought he was just a fleeting acquaintance.

Yet, that little boy had effortlessly broken down my defenses and had somehow become a precious presence in my life.

‘I shared so many memories with Tristan.’

After our first meeting, I never thought I’d see him again… but a few days later, he approached me, confessed he was studying abroad, and asked me to look after him from then on.

On the nights of the banquets, we would sneak away to the balcony and chat until dawn.

Even after he returned to his homeland three years later, he continued to write me letters full of affection without pause.

I thought a young boy’s love would be fickle and unpredictable. I figured it wouldn’t be strange if his feelings cooled at any time.

But Tristan surpassed my expectations. He poured his unwavering love on me throughout those long years.

I was grateful for his existence.

His letters gradually became my only refuge in an otherwise solitary life.

Though I repeatedly rejected his marriage proposals, promising to talk again once I was of age, I had already opened my heart to him.

‘Sometime… if you still feel the same even when we’re both fully grown, then…’

I thought, “I could be happy with you.”

Yes, I’m sure I had days when I truly believed that.

But now…

“I can’t do that anymore.”

No matter what my past feelings were or how my heart is now… I couldn’t accept him.

No, it’s more accurate to say I couldn’t possibly allow it.

Things were different now—I was a widow, already having married once, and I’d become a woman scorned who would only bring dishonor to anyone I was with. No one would welcome our relationship now.

I had once rejected Tristan’s heart with all sorts of excuses, but now that I have admitted my attraction to him, I can say it. All of it was merely an excuse.

In truth, I was simply afraid — afraid of opening my heart to him completely once again.

And it was because… I had come to realize that eternal and absolute love was nothing more than an illusion.

A person’s heart is not an unchanging truth. No matter how passionate and sincere it may be, if weighed down and scarred repeatedly, it eventually wears away.

Just as Tristan, who once whispered eternity, ultimately gave up on me.

Recalling the past, which I had buried deep within my subconscious to avoid remembering, tightened my chest painfully.

It was on that very day when my father, the king, informed me of my marriage to the Count of Winder.

The letter I sent to Tristan contained not just the news of my marriage.

[I’m sorry, Tristan.

It seems I won’t be able to keep my promise.

I’m marrying someone else.

I know saying it wasn’t my choice… would only sound like an excuse.

I didn’t want to hurt you.

I’m truly sorry. Please forget about me.]

Delivering the marriage news as though it were a mere announcement, I knew I should have ended it there. Yet, I added a few more lines at the bottom, pouring out my desperate feelings.

[I know this is the right path. But honestly… it’s not what I want.

So if you feel the same as I do, then let’s run away together.]

I knew it was an absurd suggestion.

Tristan was the heir to the Duchy of Locke.

A man as responsible as him would never abandon his family and choose me.

Despite being aware of this, I still proposed running away, because I was just as desperate.

In the 22 years of my life, he was my only refuge.

The letter, sent with a trembling heart. I waited anxiously every night, wondering what response might come.

Would he feel betrayed by my marriage news? Would he resent me for forcing a choice on him? I was overwhelmed with countless worries and fears.

Still, I waited quietly for the first few days. After all, he would need time to think. I was anxious but managed to be patient.

But even after half a month, there was no reply. Yes, he must hate me. He must be struggling with this. I tried to understand the long silence.

However, even after a month passed, there was no contact from him.

Had my letter been lost somehow?

But that didn’t seem to be the case.

Seeing that even his usual letters had completely stopped.

Stupidly, I only realized it after waiting a whole month. That torturous month was his answer.

Even though I continued to wait, just in case… Tristan never sent me a letter, not even on the day I left for the empire for my marriage to the Count of Winder.

‘I don’t believe that the love he showed me in the past was a lie.’

I knew his feelings had been genuine. Every sweet word he’d said to me was sincere.

I was simply… insignificant compared to other things in his life.

‘Still, he could have at least sent a rejection.’

The Tristan I knew wasn’t someone who would leave someone in agony with false hope like this. Perhaps he had come to resent me, too, for forcing such an impossible choice on him.

‘I didn’t expect him to actually follow through on such a hopeless suggestion. I just… no, I don’t know anymore.’

I don’t hold a grudge. But I felt miserable.

Because I had come to understand the true nature of a love I had once believed to be eternal and unbreakable.

So even now, after much time has passed and things have settled, I cannot accept his feelings.

Of course, I’m grateful that he still shows interest in me, as he did back then. If I’m being honest, it makes me happy. I’ve been drawn to him for a long time, and I still feel that pull.

But that’s not enough reason to accept his heart. I simply don’t want to experience that same despair ever again.

‘I know that things are different now from the past. Maybe, without any issues, we could live happily together.’

But… if, like before, the day comes when he must weigh me against something else.

And if, once again, he chooses something other than me…

I might never be able to rise again.

‘So I just can’t bring myself to accept him.’

Even if I were to fall in love with him.