064. Dream (2)

It might just be his simple desire.

Or perhaps, it could be a misunderstanding.

Maybe he thought this way because he loved her and hoped she felt the same, allowing his subjective view to color his thoughts.

While Owen tried to suppress all his desires for Lucia’s sake, it wasn’t that he had no desires of his own.

‘No. In fact, I have many.’

Owen silently mocked himself as he gazed at Lucia, who had just finished speaking, while gently stroking her hair.

The soft feel of her red hair against his fingertips was vivid.

“You’ve always been that way to me.”

Owen responded as he caressed Lucia’s hair, stroking it gently.

She shuddered slightly at his touch.

He then lowered his head and kissed the hair he held in his hand before continuing.

“Lucia, to me, you are both my goal and my desire. You are my longing.”

“Longing… That’s not what I would call it.”

Lucia responded to Owen’s words.

Her response made Owen chuckle softly.

“I’m glad you think so.”

“Of course I do.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. If it weren’t natural, would you think the same of me? Would you consider my desire for you as mere longing?”

At her words, Owen shook his head.

“That’s impossible.”

“Exactly. So it can’t be longing. It’s just something I want.”

Owen remained silent.

The longing she spoke of and the longing he spoke of were different.

From Lucia’s perspective, it might have seemed natural for Owen, the head of the Verdun Duchy, to desire the Lady of the Edelte family.

But for Owen, it wasn’t the same.

To him, Lucia had always been like a dream, a person who existed only in his imagination.

But one day, he saw her with his own eyes, and he wanted to be the person she desired.

In such a situation, to wish for more would be greed.

‘…Still, I’d be happy if Lucia loved me too.’

Though he knew it was greed, he was only human.

He couldn’t help but wish for it.

“If you wish for it, will you grant it?”

And so, he asked her this question.

Just in case, just in hope.

“If I wish for it, would you willingly look only at me?”

At his question, laden with desire, Lucia blinked in surprise.

Just as Owen was about to retract his words, thinking he had made a mistake, Lucia’s laughter filled the air.

“Of course.”

Her answer, which came with a lighthearted laugh, made his heart feel like it was sinking.

“It’s not a difficult thing. What can’t I do for you?”

The problem was how easily she said it.

How effortlessly…

“I’ve been chasing after you for a long time anyway. It’d be ridiculous to start looking for someone else now. There probably isn’t anyone as perfect as you.”

Yes, to Lucia, Owen was that kind of person.

Perfect and complete.

Moreover, to her, obsession and possessiveness were probably the easiest things to indulge in.

In this world, there was no one who could catch her eye more than Owen, so she wasn’t wrong.

“Even without that, I told you, didn’t I? You’re an exceptional person.”

Just as he was about to resign himself to reality, she spoke again.

His heart pounded loudly once more.

He found himself hoping all too easily.

“There’s no one as selfless and kind as you, Owen. If I let you go, I wouldn’t be able to see anyone else. That won’t happen.”

Her words, spoken with firm resolve, left a significant impact.

Lucia never spoke falsehoods.

So, the words she uttered now were sincere promises.

“…I see.”

Though he had decided to give himself to her willingly, it would be a lie to say he wasn’t afraid of being abandoned.

Lucia was someone who easily grew tired of things.

Although she might not be able to truly discard him after they were engaged and married, she could still lose interest in him, as she had with others.

Owen had imagined that day would come eventually.

After all, it wasn’t as though he was completely immune to negative thoughts.

“So don’t worry.”

Perhaps she noticed the darkness clouding his face.

Lucia quickly read his emotions and began to comfort him.

Her hand, which had been gently stroking his hair, soon moved to his back.

She pulled Owen close, hugging him tightly.

Although Owen’s body was much larger, making it seem like she was the one being held, it was clear who was comforting whom.

“I know what you’re worried about, but it won’t happen. I promise. I won’t ever abandon you.”

Her whispered words in his ear were sweet.

Owen, resting his head on Lucia’s shoulder, nodded.

“Yes.”

“I told you, you’re an exceptional person. You should be prepared. I’m never letting you go.”

Lucia’s voice was filled with a chilling possessiveness.

These intense emotions were very familiar to Owen.

Oddly enough, they reassured him.

“Then do as you wish.”

“Isn’t that too easy a response? I’m planning to own you for the rest of your life.”

As he nodded, Lucia asked him that question.

Owen responded without hesitation.

“Because that’s what I want.”

“…You’re really different from me, Owen.”

Lucia murmured softly, her hand brushing over Owen’s neck as she continued speaking.

“Don’t run away, okay? I’m scarier than you think.”

“There’s no way I would.”

“I’m really scarier than you think. Even if you tell me you don’t love me anymore, I won’t let you go.”

“There’s no way I wouldn’t love you.”

Owen declared with conviction.

Lucia let out a small, bitter laugh.

“You’re so sure of your feelings.”

“Because they’re clear.”

“I’m envious. I’m never sure.”

Lucia’s voice trailed off as she watched Owen, who seemed so confident in his emotions.

“Emotions are difficult. To be honest, I’ve never really tried to think deeply about them. I thought it was enough just to know when I’m happy, angry, sad, or having fun.”

Lucia’s life had been simple in a way.

Despite living a life more glamorous and noticed than anyone else’s, she had never received deep emotions or affection from anyone.

It was only natural that she couldn’t properly grasp the feelings she had never received.

She considered love unnecessary, just as she did with other emotions.

“Actually, that’s why I often don’t know what I really want to do with you, Owen. I only realized this because Mari pointed it out.”

Owen paused at Lucia’s candid confession.

“I thought I simply wanted to possess you, but Mari told me to think it over again. She asked me if that was truly what I wanted.”

Mari was likely Lucia’s personal maid.

She had been by Lucia’s side the longest and was also the person Lucia cherished most among all the things and people she desired.

‘For someone like Mari to say that, she must have realized something first.’

Owen was sure of this.

People who observe someone closely over a long time come to know them well.

Although Owen had known Lucia for a long time, he hadn’t observed her as intimately, so there were things he couldn’t fully grasp.

But Mari, who lived with Lucia every day, would know everything.

Especially since she’d been with Lucia since she was about twelve years old.

“After thinking hard about it, I realized that what I like most is your kindness.”

“…”

“Just that,” she said, as if it were something trivial.

Owen looked up at her silently.

Her hand continued to stroke the back of his neck, and she held him close.

For someone whose life had been filled with desires and dislikes, the conclusion that what she liked most was his kindness wasn’t an easy one to reach.

Of course, it might be because, out of everyone in her life, Owen was the kindest to her.

But still…

‘Mari must be just as kind.’

In a world filled with people who disliked Lucia, Mari was the only one who was truly hers.

So, it was certain that the maid was kind as well.

“And then I decided that instead of confessing, I would just demand it. But you went ahead and confessed first, so it was pointless.”

Indeed, that wasn’t quite like Lucia.

Owen understood why she had thought that way, but he also realized that if she had known it wouldn’t work, she would have demanded a confession outright.

That is, if she had been certain.

If she had been sure that he liked her.

Yet Lucia hadn’t done that.

As if she wanted him to realize it on his own.

“…Lucia.”

Owen felt a need to confirm something.

He wanted to know for sure what emotions she truly had.

There weren’t many ways to do that.

The possessiveness, obsession, and jealousy she had for him would render most methods useless.

So, what remained was…

“Can I kiss you?”

Physical intimacy.

Though kisses could be shared between people who weren’t in love, the reactions would differ.

“Uh…?”

Lucia seemed a bit surprised by the sudden question.

“Ah.”

Then, as if realizing something, she made a small sound.

She seemed to think that his request was prompted by the way she had embraced him and stroked his neck.

Even though it was Owen who had first kissed her hand, he decided to play along shamelessly.

If she misunderstood, it would work in his favor.

“…Alright.”

Finally, she gave her consent.

Owen gently supported her head as he leaned in.

Their lips met.

But neither of them closed their eyes.

A ripple passed through their connected gaze.

Lucia seemed surprised that Owen hadn’t closed his eyes.

It seemed she had expected him to close his eyes this time, as he had during their kiss in the carriage.

It appeared that she hadn’t closed her eyes then, either.

Judging by her expression now, she must have kept her eyes open back then.

Owen carefully observed her rose-colored eyes.

He needed to read the emotions within them.

However, perhaps due to the surprise of their eyes meeting, her emotions were not easily discernible.

Owen had no choice but to gently lick Lucia’s lower lip.

If a simple kiss wouldn’t be enough, he would have to do more.

“Mm.”

When he brushed her lips, Lucia’s mouth opened reflexively.

From their previous experience, Owen already knew how to kiss her.

He slipped his tongue through the parted lips, invading her mouth.

Their breaths mingled instantly.

The warmth of their shared gaze intensified.

The emotions in her red eyes became clearer.

Owen carefully examined each emotion that surfaced in her eyes.

There was possessiveness, obsession, and…

‘…Ah.’

Amid the usual emotions, there was something else.

It wasn’t jealousy.

It had a different form.

Like possessiveness, obsession, and jealousy, it was red and seemed to burn, but it was also hot and passionate.

[If love has a color, it must be bright red. Because nothing is as hot and passionate as love.]

The lyrics of a song came to mind.

It was from a song the heroine sang in *The Witch’s Man*.

The heroine had spoken of her love in those terms.

[I love you like that. Hot enough to burn and strong enough to sweep you away.]

Yes, it was undoubtedly love.

A love as hot as fire and as intense as the sun.

He could instinctively tell.

That color in her eyes must be named love.

It was different from the love he had, but it was still love.

Owen slowly pulled back from the kiss.

Perhaps because of the length of the kiss, Lucia was panting lightly.

Owen called out to her.

“Lucia.”

Her eyes met his.

The heat from the kiss still lingered, and the remnants of their emotions swirled within them.

As he faced them, Owen asked,

“Do you love me?”