036. Oceane (6)

When the story about the Saint came up, her mood sank unbelievably fast.

Lucia found herself reacting in an unfamiliar way.

But that wasn’t the important thing.

She wanted to keep Owen away from this story immediately.

She didn’t want rumors mentioning both the Saint and Owen to even reach his ears.

She hoped he wouldn’t pay attention to those rumors.

No, it would be best if he didn’t know at all.

Although he might already know to some extent…

She still hoped.

She wished he didn’t know.

Even though it was a trivial rumor, she didn’t want his attention to shift elsewhere.

She wanted his interest, his gaze, to be directed only at her.

Originally, he was a man who only focused on work.

She became greedy, wanting everything about him, aside from his work, to belong to her.

So, she insisted they go inside.

Yet Owen nodded without any particular response.

– Shall we?

She liked his compliance.

His willingness to answer her demands readily, without a single rebuttal, excited her.

His attitude of acting as if anything she wanted was fine made her greedy.

‘I wonder what I should do.’

She was certain that he liked her.

However, if he didn’t realize his feelings, if he didn’t become aware of them, it would be difficult to call him entirely hers.

It wasn’t easy to directly ask, ‘Do you like me?’

He might frown and leave her if she did.

Just as he lost his parents, Owen didn’t believe in love.

In the same way that she thought love was unnecessary, he didn’t believe in love.

That was an unchangeable truth.

How could she make someone who didn’t believe in love realize it?

It was difficult for her as she didn’t fully understand love either.

“…Owen.”

Lucia quietly called his name.

The two, having returned to the villa, were sitting opposite each other in the reception room.

It was the same place they had tea together yesterday.

Today, as well, there was well-brewed tea and a few types of finger foods on the table.

“What do you like, Owen?”

The emotion closest to love must be ‘liking’.

Although ‘liking’ might feel quite different from romantic emotions, it was still the closest, she thought.

After much contemplation, she finally asked, and Owen tilted his head slightly.

After thinking for a long time, he looked straight at her and spoke.

“As I mentioned before, I like roses. I also like the color red.”

“….”

Everything he mentioned was still related to her.

Lucia, left with nothing to say, closed her mouth.

She felt that by now, he should surely know.

He said he liked everything about her, yet didn’t know if he liked her.

It even made her think he might be a master at this kind of trick.

“And…”

As Lucia remained silent, lost in her thoughts, Owen absentmindedly tapped the table, seemingly pondering deeply himself.

What do I like?

There were things other than roses and the color red. There were flowers she had given him, ties she had gifted him. If not those, then there were the gloves and cufflinks she had presented him with. And more…

Continuing his thoughts, Owen sighed. It wasn’t something he could list one by one. If he did, Lucia would surely look at him in bewilderment. She would be even more surprised to know that he had a cabinet where he carefully kept those items.

‘What did I really like?’

He tried to shift his thoughts, which had been reaching toward the sky. He genuinely attempted to recall things he liked, but it wasn’t easy. His preferences or likes weren’t very clear. He wasn’t the type to particularly like or dislike something.

Just like Owen himself.

‘…If I had to pinpoint, I hated poverty.’

If he had to choose, he disliked poverty. He hated a life where, no matter how hard he worked, there was always a shortage of money. A life of constant labor felt suffocating.

‘Yet here I am, living a life of work again. If there’s a god in this world, that god must be a devil.’

Owen decided that as soon as he returned, he would wrap up his business affairs. If he sorted out everything except for a few important matters, it wouldn’t affect their livelihood or the ducal house significantly.

“Owen?”

How much time had passed? Lucia called Owen’s name with a puzzled look. It was only when she spoke that Owen remembered he hadn’t finished his sentence.

“Hmm.”

But he still hadn’t found a clear answer. He made a sound as if pondering, then spoke evasively.

“I think I also liked books.”

More precisely, novels. But did it matter much? Not really, he thought.

He had few likes or dislikes, but one thing was certain. Owen liked <The Flower of the Empire>. Among all, he cherished Lucia the most and had a fondness for the secondary male character, Kyle.

“…”

Owen stopped mid-thought and closed his mouth. There must have been a reason Lucia brought up such a question. By clearly naming it as ‘something you like,’ she must have been seeking his confession.

Lucia had her reasons for being so meticulous in her intentions.

Owen had never had a lover, and his parents had died horribly. He was emotionally indifferent. He didn’t know love and didn’t believe in love. While it was common in noble society to engage in relationships and marriages without love, that wasn’t what Lucia truly desired.

Of course, as a last resort, she might consider such a route.

But she genuinely wanted Owen to be hers.

Not due to external pressure or just a relationship on paper, but she wanted Owen to be truly hers.

“…Lucia.”

Owen knew this as well.

He knew it, but the words didn’t come easily.

Even though he was willing to do anything she wanted.

His mouth felt heavy, like someone forcibly trying to uncover a secret.

“I still don’t know.”

He was simply confused.

In this world, his life existed solely for her.

He had looked at her for a very long time and prayed for her happiness.

And so he….

“I need a bit more time.”

Do I like her?

Not like a fan or an admiration, but do I truly love Lucia?

His heart pounded loudly.

Owen closed his eyes against the pounding sound echoing in his ears.

The trembling was unfamiliar.

Strange.

From the moment he first saw her in person, his heart had pounded wildly.

The beating was so clear and unfamiliar as if it would be etched into his memory.

Its sound, its speed.

It was vivid enough to be engraved in his memory.

“So, give me time.”

Honest words flowed out.

Unconsciously, that was how it was.

There was no lie in what he had spoken.

Owen was confused and didn’t know anything clearly.

What his current feelings were, what his emotions toward Lucia were, what he wanted to do….

Even though none of it was clear, Owen spoke.

“I need certainty about myself.”

He needed certainty.

He needed to understand this trembling.

To understand the subtle colors of this emotion that wasn’t just fan admiration.

Because he didn’t know what love was, what the feeling of liking someone was.

Because he had never lived with enough leisure to like someone.

He needed time to understand himself.

* * *

The schedule in Oceane concluded peacefully.

As Lucia had hoped, the rumors of her and Owen being a couple spread even more.

The small spark spread like wildfire, making it laughable to deny.

Everything was going perfectly according to plan.

Even in a situation where everything was going as planned, Lucia couldn’t remain calm.

– I need certainty about myself.

The confusion in his eyes when he said those words was unmistakable. He was questioning his own feelings. Yes, he was.

– I hope it becomes such a place for you too. So that it can remain in your memory for a long time.

Why did that night keep coming to mind? The image of him reciting words against the backdrop of a night sky with a silver moon was still vivid.

“Lady.”

As Lucia was recalling Owen from that night, Marie knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Lady, the Duke has summoned you.”

Upon hearing Lucia’s permission, Marie entered and delivered the message immediately.

“My father?”

“Yes. He has asked you to come to his office.”

Lucia was puzzled by the sudden summons from her father. What reason could he have to call her? She hadn’t made any extravagant purchases recently, nor could she recall causing any trouble. There had been no scandals or incidents in the social circles either. Though she couldn’t think of a plausible reason, she couldn’t ignore his call. Lucia stood up and headed to Duke Edelte’s office with Marie.

“Duke, the Lady is here.”

When they reached the office, the waiting attendant announced their arrival.

“Let her in.”

“You may enter.”

The office door opened, revealing Duke Edelte, who was buried under a pile of paperwork on his desk.

“… Louis?”

Her half-brother was also present, seated on a sofa in the office. Lucia’s curiosity grew even stronger. What could the three of them need to discuss together?

She glanced at the Duke and greeted him.

“I heard you called for me, Father.”

“Yes. First, have a seat.”

“Yes.”

A conversation that required her to sit down. She still had no idea what it could be about.

“Louis told me.”

As she held the teacup, filled with questions, the Duke began to speak.

“He said you’ve been seeing Duke Verdun.”

“…Yes.”

Although it wasn’t true, Lucia lied. After all, it was a lie the world already believed. She didn’t know why Louis would bring up such a story, but there seemed to be no harm in affirming it.

“I see. So it’s true….”

Having confirmed it, the Duke stroked his chin. He dragged out his words as if contemplating something, then spoke again.

“You’re of age now, aren’t you? This year, you’re….”

“Twenty-one.”

“Yes. That’s old enough for marriage.”

Lucia flinched internally at the mention of marriage. The Duke’s words weren’t wrong. Typically, nobles got engaged in their mid to late teens and married in their early twenties. Most were married by their mid-twenties at the latest.

“Duke Verdun is twenty-four this year, isn’t he? It’s time for him to marry by next year too.”

Mentioning Owen’s age, Lucia could easily predict the Duke’s next words.

Surely, he would say…

“There shouldn’t be any issue if you’re seeing each other. How about considering marriage?”