“I wish you could speak quickly.”
How adorable.
At this moment, I wish time would stand still forever, yet I’m overwhelmed thinking about how this child will chatter with her tiny mouth someday.
The fears I had before the child was born were such unnecessary emotional expenditure. Her tiny hands and feet, her large eyes – even her drooling mouth was cute.
But when Declan unexpectedly enters the child’s room, the sweet mother-daughter moment instantly turns cold.
The couple, encountering each other in their daughter’s room, look at each other as if facing unwelcome guests. They exchange a few perfunctory greetings and then, as if by mutual agreement, fall silent.
Through all this, Soliet remains bright. She doesn’t feel uncomfortable with the frigid atmosphere and seems purely delighted just to be with her mom and dad.
While gently nestled with Sienna, when Declan arrives, she begs to be taken by her father. Once placed in Declan’s arms, she immediately struggles to be returned to her mother. After repeating this several times, Soliet realized she was playing her own little game.
Declan seemed to find his daughter adorably charming, but Sienna found these “ordinary family” moments awkward and difficult. Not just because of discomfort, but perhaps due to adaptation issues.
Being parents was vastly different from their time as a couple. For Declan, who grew up in a close-knit family, it was a natural progression. But for Sienna, it was not.
Unresolved issues with Declan lingered like sand stuck in her mouth, making her uncomfortable.
She lacked the courage to confront these problems.
Therefore, while spending time daily beside Soliet, Sienna began avoiding the child’s room during times when Declan was present.
When she would go to Soliet’s room and hear Declan’s voice inside, she would freeze.
The tender and affectionate words he spoke to the baby who couldn’t even understand language – Sienna would unknowingly stand still for a long time, listening, before turning away.
He was very interested in childcare. Even with a nanny employed, on days without official duties, he would spend entire days with Soliet in his arms.
After hearing from the nanny that it was good for the child’s emotional development, he once bought an armful of fairy tale books. When Sienna heard he was reading fairy tales to the baby who couldn’t even understand proper words, she couldn’t help but give a bitter laugh.
“Will the baby remember?”
“Still, it’s good that he cherishes your daughter,” Christine said, smiling kindly, defending the Grand Duke’s doting nature.
His efforts soon bore fruit. The first word-like sound from Soliet’s babbling mouth was something resembling “daddy” – proof that Declan’s efforts had finally paid off. She heard he was so moved that his eyes were reddened.
This was unimaginable to Sienna.
It was rare. Typically, nobles would leave childcare to others even if they loved their children, but he was raising the child completely by himself from start to finish.
Perhaps because she hadn’t received paternal affection in her own childhood. Seeing her daughter receive overflowing love from Declan stirred complex feelings in her.
Sometimes it felt like compensation for what she hadn’t received in childhood. Yet, she felt dejected wondering why, despite loving his daughter so much, he showed not even a hint of affection towards her, the child’s mother.
Since Soliet’s birth, Sienna’s relationship with Declan had been completely severed. They exchanged no words and spent no time together.
The Grand Duke’s household ran smoothly without Sienna’s management. Moreover, the household staff no longer pressured her to fulfill any obligations. The employees no longer looked at her with disapproving eyes.
Everyone treated her with respect and served her attentively.
But the large hole in her heart remained unfillable.
While happy with Soliet, the moment she returned alone to her bedroom, that happiness would instantly dissipate.
And Sienna’s method of alleviating her emptiness remained the same. Like during her time in the imperial palace, she began indulging in luxury again, buying jewels and dresses she would never wear.
She could squander enough gold to buy a mansion in the capital, and not a single reproach would come from her husband. This only further provoked her defiance.
During this time, Soliet grew rapidly and, in the blink of an eye, turned five years old.
“Mom, look. Did Soli make candy?”
Soliet spread her hand before Sienna’s eyes. Sienna’s gaze fell on the small red clay lump in her tiny hand.
The child looked up with sparkling eyes, awaiting her reaction.
Sienna began showering her with praise to satisfy Soliet.
“How is my baby good at everything?”
With a moved expression, she crossed her hands over her chest. Soliet’s cheeks turned rosy. Then, as if suddenly remembering, she looked up and added:
“Actually, Dad helped me a bit.”
“Still, it’s impressive.”
Declan remained a gentle father. He would sit on the floor, pick up toys, match the child’s rhythm, and on nice days, take her horseback riding near the lake.
Sienna would wait at the mansion and not join the outings. When they returned, she would personally bathe Soliet. While her mother bathed her, Soliet would recount her entire day.
She’d talk about fishing with her dad and catching an incredibly large fish, or how the sea’s color was just like her mother’s eyes. These stories always ended the same way:
“It would have been better if Mom came too.”
When she muttered with a face full of regret, Sienna had no other words.
She only felt sorry towards Soliet.
As she grew older, the child seemed to sense that her parents’ relationship wasn’t typical. The only time they ate together as a family was Soliet’s birthday once a year – anything else would have been more surprising. Even then, they barely exchanged words.
They seemed to exist not as a couple, but merely as Soliet’s mother and father.
But now, she had no desire to repair her strained relationship with Declan. In fact, this current situation felt more stable compared to when she used to doubt his affection and question the reasons for their marriage.
Separately, Monferrato remained suffocating for her, so Sienna increasingly spent time away from the mansion.
She still enjoyed receiving subtle looks of jealousy and admiration from others.
Though their relationship was fundamentally flawed, no one outside knew this fact. To social circles, Sienna was still the protagonist of past scandals, the woman who had “captured the hero”.
At balls, some would occasionally approach her to subtly request favors regarding businesses owned by Declan. She would respond with a gentle smile and polite refusal, yet feel a sense of pride.
The satisfaction of having her vanity fulfilled was thrilling. The more this process repeated, the more Sienna became obsessed with how she appeared to others.
She would wear corsets she’d never even worn in her unmarried days and travel around the capital. Not content with that, she would skip meals despite her doctor’s warnings, instead keeping a cigarette in her mouth – solely to suppress her appetite.
However, while she would be highly energized during social events and parties, receiving extraordinary treatment, she would return home with intensified depression.
On nights when she would burn multiple sleeping aid candles yet couldn’t sleep, she would wander near her husband’s bedroom, but never find the courage to knock, often turning away. When she absolutely couldn’t bear it, she would go to Soliet’s room and fall asleep beside her child.
Soliet would unconsciously confirm her mother’s face and always embrace her. The warmth from the child’s small body was the only comfort permitted to Sienna.
“This is a happy life,” she would whisper to herself, holding Soliet preciously and falling asleep.
It was around this time that an invitation to the Empress’s tea party arrived at the Grand Duke’s residence.
As Leopold was focusing on heir training and would exceptionally attend, the invited nobles were rushing to the capital, bringing their children. They were eager to make an impression on the future emperor.
Sienna didn’t miss this opportunity. Normally, she would have been cautious due to Declan’s sensitivity about the child’s outings, but since Declan was away on business that day, she had no hesitation.
Her purpose was entirely different from other nobles – not to gain the imperial family’s favor, but solely to fulfill her own vanity.
Though it was essentially using her child for her own desires, she easily rationalized it.
As the Grand Duke’s eldest daughter, Soliet would inevitably live amidst numerous attentions. So, wouldn’t it be fine for her to start frequenting the imperial palace from a young age?
Her daughter would undoubtedly be the center of attention, second only to the Crown Prince. The mere thought made Sienna’s heart swell.
