Theodore responded in a tone that seemed almost pathetic.
“You must have heard yesterday that the Grand Duke has advanced to Serojan. Surely you were also informed that His Majesty ordered all churches in the empire to pray for victory in this war…”
“Is he alive?”
The princess suddenly lifted her head. Her blue eyes, which had been trembling unstably, now rippled with an indescribable emotion. This caused Theodore to involuntarily stiffen his shoulders.
When an immediate answer didn’t come, she lunged at the man much larger than herself and grabbed him by the collar.
“Answer me! Is he alive?!”
Her voice was sharp enough to tear. Theodore’s gaze briefly flickered to the fragile hands gripping his collar, then he laughed as if in disbelief, “Oh, come on.”
“Yes, yes. Of course he’s alive. Who do you think he is? He’s the empire’s great hero, isn’t he? He’s surely doing well. The whole empire is in an uproar because the army he leads has finally reached the borders of Serojan.”
He spoke in a voice that clearly showed his annoyance. Having been by the princess’s side since his days as an apprentice knight, he was already as familiar as he could be with her various misdeeds.
Theodore was the only person who could handle her, and yet also the only one who didn’t despise her.
He realized that he had just uttered something quite disrespectful. And the princess was not a master generous enough to overlook insubordination.
He was certain that soon the princess would either slap him across the face or that the mirror precariously standing in the corner of the room would finally be completely broken.
However, for quite a while, there was no reaction from Sienna. She didn’t burst out in anger like before, nor did she slap him for being disrespectful as usual. She just dropped her hand with a blank face.
“He’s alive…”
At this dazed murmur, Theodore looked at her with a puzzled expression.
“Your Highness…?”
The princess’s face contorted strangely.
She tried to accept this ridiculous situation as rationally as possible. But there was nothing she could comprehend in this current situation.
The familiar scenery of the room. Her body, as if bones and flesh had newly sprouted. And two, no, three lives that should have long been dead, breathing.
All circumstances pointed to one fact. That an impossible thing had happened to her.
Only then did she recall what Theodore had just said. He clearly stated that the army led by the Grand Duke had successfully advanced to Serojan.
And the historic great victory of the Battle of Serojan was also the last war her husband fought before stepping down from all his titles by marrying her.
So that means…
‘Did I really return to the past?’
Trembling hands clutched at her skirt. Questions like ‘why?’ and ‘how?’ floated around in her head.
The urge to grab someone and scream rose violently.
She had never wished for such a miracle. She had only wanted to go to her daughter’s side… to return to the side of those she loved…
Theodore worriedly looked at the princess’s face, which was turning bluish beyond pale.
“Your Highness, are you alright?”
The blue eyes, frozen in fear, turned towards him. And slowly, they scanned him from head to toe.
Soft tawny hair and olive eyes. An absurdly large body and an impertinent gaze unbefitting a servant – it was undoubtedly that Theodore Monches.
Instead of answering, she hurriedly reached out and touched his Adam’s apple. Theodore flinched slightly but didn’t resist. The pulsing heartbeat beneath the hot temperature was clearly transmitted to her palm.
‘This is not a dream.’
Her impertinent knight. The only one who was on her side. Theodore Monches was truly alive and breathing. That proved this entire situation.
Only then did Sienna finally accept the situation. She hadn’t died. Moreover, she had returned to a distant past.
A hollow laugh escaped between her lips. How desperately she had lived until just before her life ended. And now she has to do it all over again?
Sienna withdrew her hand from Theodore’s neck.
“…There’s no reason not to be fine.”
Sienna replied calmly, barely suppressing the turmoil of anger and shock inside her.
Yes. Perhaps there’s no reason not to be fine. Looking at it differently, this could be a chance to change her life.
If she had really returned to the past, then what happens from now on would be up to her. The marriage that was like a pit of misery. That man’s death. She could change everything.
But…
‘That child will now truly exist only in my head.’
Sienna’s expression darkened.
Even the father who had cherished the child so much would have forgotten her now. The seven years the man had raised the child with blind love had all disappeared into thin air. Now, she was the only one who remembered Soliet’s short life.
The child’s laughter, scattered in the wind, echoed emptily in her ears like an auditory hallucination. Sienna clenched her fist tightly. Her unmanicured nails dug into her flesh.
‘Perhaps it’s for the best. Rather than being born to a mother like me and experiencing such unhappiness again, it might be better not to exist at all.’
She would have to live with the child buried alone in her heart, but by doing so, the man’s last wish would be fulfilled. The lives of the two people that had headed towards ruin due to their marriage would now finally find their proper paths.
Sienna made a promise to herself. If this was really an opportunity given to her, she would live differently from her foolish past self.
She would not be greedy for the undeserved position of Grand Duchess. She wouldn’t dream of revenge against those who insulted her. She wouldn’t even resent the man who didn’t love her.
She would never repeat her past mistakes again.
****
“There’s some good news.”
She had just taken the first spoonful of the wheat porridge that the priests had distributed for breakfast.
Although it was something she had already experienced, the poor treatment was striking anew. Sienna, who had been looking down at the porridge mixed with plenty of sand with a grimace, sighed deeply and put her spoon back down.
“Will there at least be proper food for dinner?”
“Something even better than that might be coming.”
Theo seemed to be in a much better mood than usual. Sienna’s indifferent gaze turned to him, seeing his rarely excited appearance.
“The army returning from the border is stopping by here.”
But it wasn’t much of a news for him to look so triumphant, so she replied curtly.
“How is that such great news?”
“It is great news. The atmosphere outside is already as if they’re about to hold a welcoming feast.”
At the mention of a feast, Sienna scoffed dryly.
“A feast, you say. I wonder if they’re not going to serve this sandy porridge to the soldiers who risked their lives for the empire.”
“Surely not. Seeing how the abbot’s face is improving day by day, it seems like they have some hidden food stashed away somewhere.”
Both of them had already anticipated that the abbot had hidden food separately.
Having witnessed people starving to death nearby, it was clearly distinguishable to the naked eye how the abbot’s complexion was improving day by day in comparison.
“Anyway, the army stopping here might be a good thing for us too, Your Highness.”
“I’m sure you’d be happy to meet your older brother after a long time.”
In her previous life, Theodore’s brother, Count Monches, had quite a distaste for her.
Partly because he regretted that the once dynamic Grand Duke had given up all his power and settled down in a mansion because of her. And partly because she had repeatedly tarnished the Grand Duke’s honor even after he had given up everything for her.
Decisively, after her marriage, when Theodore returned to the Imperial Knights and lost his life in the war he participated in, the Count openly expressed his resentment.
So, Sienna understood to some extent why the Count viewed her unfavorably, regardless of her own not-so-positive feelings towards him.
If it weren’t for her, the Grand Duke wouldn’t have had to endure unnecessary humiliation, and Theo wouldn’t have died so futilely.
Seeing Sienna’s unenthusiastic attitude, Theodore scratched his cheek awkwardly before speaking again with a determined attitude.
“Not just my brother, but the Grand Duke will also be coming here. Isn’t that the most important fact?”
Sienna didn’t particularly respond to his following words. So Theodore added more elaborately.
“In this vast continent, he’s the only one that even the Emperor can’t treat carelessly. With this war, he’s greatly expanded the northern territory, so when he returns to the capital, his status will become even more formidable.”
“We’re about to starve to death here, and you think that’s important right now?”
Despite her irritated reply, Theodore shrugged nonchalantly.
“That’s why this is good news for us, isn’t it? The Emperor won’t ignore His Grace the Grand Duke’s request, so this time we could…”
“Theo.”
Sienna looked at him seriously.
“Let me tell you in advance, don’t do anything unnecessary. I know you and your brother are close to the Grand Duke, but I have no intention of getting involved with him.”
“Getting involved? Rather, if the Grand Duke were to ignore Your Highness’s situation, wouldn’t that go against chivalry?”
“Whatever…”
Strictly speaking, he wasn’t even a knight, but it was bothersome to point that out. Instead of speaking further, Sienna sighed with an exasperated expression.
Thanks for the chapter