How to Perfectly Break Up with You

In that sense, the reason he made his will public was clear. If it had secretly fallen into the Emperor’s hands first, the gamble he staked his life on would have been in vain.

Considering my brother’s utterly despicable nature, it was more than enough reason.

Joseph wavered until just before my husband’s funeral, only releasing me on that day. It wasn’t a full pardon, as the condition was that I would be exiled outside the capital immediately after the Grand Duke’s funeral ended.

I had to be grateful even for that, since I wasn’t able to attend my child’s funeral.

Once my release was ordered, I was transferred to the Grand Duke’s residence by soldiers. Following the Emperor’s order to watch me closely until the funeral was perfectly conducted, they followed me like shadows.

The Grand Duke’s residence was in disarray due to his sudden death. Even amidst the busy funeral preparations, the atmosphere was gloomy. Perhaps that’s why the gazes of the servants looking at me were sharper than before.

‘They must think it’s because of me.’

Although my husband took his own life, I was the one who drove him to that point, so I couldn’t be free from responsibility for his death. Moreover, considering that he died an dishonorable death while taking on my charges, it was even more so.

At the very least, there was no doubt that I had completely ruined his life.

I just kept my gaze lowered and went where the soldiers led me.

The time given wasn’t much. When dawn breaks, the funeral will begin. While the Emperor was deliberating on my punishment, all preparations had already been completed, leaving only the final review by the bereaved family.

Since I was the only one who could be called family to the deceased, all funeral procedures had to go through my review. It was an unavoidable custom.

The physician had finished examining the body, and the procedures for donating his minor possessions to the imperial family according to his will had been completed. The person in charge of organizing these things was Count Monches, the most trusted confidant of my husband when he was alive.

After the physician who had arrived early and waited explained the cause of my husband’s death to me and left, Count Monches, who had been standing by the wall, approached me. Then he handed a white envelope to me, who was standing there in a daze.

“This is what His Grace left behind.”

At those words, my gaze struck the envelope like lightning. My heart started pounding. I wondered if it might be a letter he left for me. I hastily opened the envelope and unfolded it.

However, what was inside was not a letter, but a single check. A large sum was printed on the smooth paper, but it wasn’t what I had hoped for.

Perhaps misinterpreting my face crumbling miserably, the Count spoke stiffly.

“The last thing he asked me to do was to sell His Grace’s ring to a jeweler. Since all the assets of the Grand Duke’s residence were donated to the imperial family, I suppose it was to prepare some money to set aside for Your Highness.”

As if even uttering the words was regrettable and painful, a deep shadow fell across his face. But it was only for a brief moment. It soon disappeared without a trace.

“Due to the sudden disposal, we couldn’t get full value for it, but it should be enough for you to live on your own without much difficulty.”

He added bluntly, and then withdrew his hand without any lingering attachment, as if he had done all he needed to do. There wasn’t even a trace of sympathy.

He had always disapproved of me.

He was the one who tried to persuade my husband to cancel the wedding right up until the ceremony. He even said to my face that getting involved with a woman the Emperor saw as a thorn in his side would not end well.

I didn’t like him much either, but I knew better than anyone how truly loyal he was to my husband.

The Count, in stark contrast to his efforts to maintain composure until now, added in a devastated voice.

“Everyone had expected it would end like this someday. Wasn’t it a fact everyone anticipated that the end of your relationship would not be good?”

“……”

“His Grace was too good for you, madam.”

With those final words, the Count turned his back on me, but I remained standing there for a long time, just staring blankly at the envelope.

I too knew that he was a man too good for me.

But what meaning does that have now?

****

The Grand Duke’s funeral was conducted with grandeur almost rivaling that of the late Emperor. People dressed in mourning clothes and flocked to the church to honor him. Not only high nobles but even common people gathered in front of the church where the funeral was held to mourn him.

The cathedral in the capital specially sent an Archbishop to pray for his repose, and the Emperor had the imperial orchestra play the requiem.

It was a treatment befitting a man who had brought unprecedented glory to the empire. Although his end was not honorable, he was still a hero.

“…The Grand Duke brought us victory in countless wars… He was not only a hero of the empire but also an excellent father…”

Due to the vastness of the church interior, the Archbishop’s grand speech echoed throughout. Even though it was just reciting his life, there were quite a few people wiping away tears. Everyone wore expressions of grief without exception.

Among them, I was like an unwelcome guest. Although sitting closest to the coffin, I was an alien presence.

My black hair was unkempt and disheveled, and my face, unwashed for days, was in an indescribable state.

According to the empire’s etiquette, a widow who had lost her husband should wear a black veil over her head and be dressed in black mourning clothes, but I was a person who had just been released from prison before being a widow.

While all those who respected and loved the Grand Duke gathered to shed tears in unison, it was not so for his widow who was left alone. They occasionally revealed their hatred and contempt for me openly.

–’If it weren’t for that woman, the Grand Duke wouldn’t have died.’

–’Shh. She might hear.’

–’So what? Like mother, like daughter… Look at her not shedding a single tear. It’s chilling.’

–’Still, at least the Empress didn’t try to kill her own daughter.’

The whispers from not too far away flowed into my ears unfiltered. But I had no strength left to show any reaction. I just traced the face of the man in the coffin with a blank stare.

For a gun suicide, the body was clean. They said that, true to his excellent marksmanship, the bullet had cleanly penetrated his head.

Typical gun suicides usually result in a horrific sight with the head blown apart, but the physician said I was lucky. I didn’t know whether to truly consider it fortunate or to be sad.

But really. The man in the coffin didn’t look dead.

It seemed like he would open his eyes at any moment if I spoke to him. With trembling hands, I traced the face of the man lying peacefully in the coffin.

The touch on my fingertips was extremely cold. So cold that the hot sensation that had touched me a few days ago felt like a lie…

“Declan.”

I whispered his name, but he gave no answer. So I called him again, raising my voice a little more.

“Darling.”

“Be quiet.”

The Archbishop, unable to bear it any longer, gave me a harsh rebuke.

The muscles in my face contorted as if about to burst into tears, then immediately broke into laughter. I cried again, then laughed as if I had lost my mind. The Archbishop’s speech was abruptly cut off by my increasingly loud laughter.

Marianne, sitting not far from me as the Emperor’s representative, glared at me with a truly disgusted face and signaled to the soldiers standing in the church.

At this, soldiers dressed in black uniforms forcibly lifted me up and dragged me out of the funeral hall.

The strong grip was no different from handling a ruffian. Still, no one sympathized with me. The gazes of people watching me being dragged away with my arms restrained were filled only with contempt.

–’After causing the Grand Duke’s death, is she now losing her mind at ease?’

Even without speaking it aloud, their expressions said as much. I gritted my teeth as I was helplessly dragged away.

‘I didn’t kill Declan.’

As soon as I tried this self-affirmation, a question abruptly arose from within my chest.

Is it really true that I didn’t kill him?

‘If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t have died. Count Monches’ words weren’t wrong.’

The guilt I had been avoiding until now began to consume me again. My neck, which had been stiffly upright, drooped down.

Yes. In the end, it’s all because of me.

A sound that was indistinguishable between crying and laughter escaped my lips. At this sound, like that of an animal, people looked at me as if I were a mad woman. Contempt and disgust. These were the gazes I had faced throughout my life.

Those gathered here had lost the same person, and their shared emotions would be similar, but my emotions were mine alone. No one sympathized with me.

The soldiers dragged me out of the church and carelessly threw me onto the street. I fell face-first onto the hard stone pavement. As I reflexively tried to brace myself against the ground, my wrist area throbbed, perhaps from putting too much force on it.

Before I could even scream, a soldier’s harsh voice was heard above my head.

“His Majesty the Emperor commands that you never set foot in the capital again. He said there will be no second clemency.”

“……”

“All the soldiers guarding the gates to the capital know your face, so if you disobey His Majesty’s order, your head will be cut off immediately. Do you understand?”

I didn’t answer.

The other party didn’t seem to particularly expect an answer from me, as they turned their back without hesitation. As they entered the church, the funeral resumed. Not long after, the Archbishop’s speech could be heard again.

I listened to it blankly before staggering to my feet. Anyway, I had no reason to stay in the capital any longer.

I immediately left the capital and walked towards the south. The Grand Duke family’s cemetery was located in Monferrato, the Grand Duchy land directly attached to the south of the capital.