HPBUY Chapter 108

“Did you come looking for me?”

Sienna realized immediately that it was a meaningless question and muttered to herself.

“You’ve done something unnecessary.”

“That’s my specialty.”

Sienna unexpectedly laughed at his self-deprecating response.

“I know. You’re kind.”

A lightning-like gaze turned toward her again. While quietly observing him, Sienna slowly approached and grabbed his arm. Though his clothes were soaked with rain, she didn’t mind. She pulled him with her slight strength.

Declan obediently entered the cave as she pulled. Water dripping from the edge of his robe left tracks wherever he went.

The distance between the two narrowed at a slow pace. The rainwater falling from him gradually soaked her garments. Despite having taken shelter from the rain, her clothes became just as wet as his.

“I also know that you’re not hard-hearted enough to turn away someone in trouble,” Sienna said softly.

He remained standing still even after entering the cave.

While meeting his intense gaze, the memory that unexpectedly came to mind was of him appearing like a savior at Lopwell. It was a memory she couldn’t erase, even as their relationship hopelessly plummeted.

Sienna smiled bitterly.

I suppose my heart was too starved. All those things you habitually gave seemed sweet and ecstatic.

Do you know? There was a time when I didn’t know hunger. Just as abundance feels strange to those accustomed to starvation, someone who has lived through winter winds year-round doesn’t know the warmth of spring sunshine.

I wish I had never known it. If I hadn’t known from the beginning, I wouldn’t feel so ugly.

“After the hunting festival, when everything about this matter is revealed before all the nobles, I’ll leave for Parma. I’ll never return to the Empire again.”

“…”

“It will be a complete goodbye between us too.”

Declan let out a laugh close to a sneer at her resolute declaration.

“Who asked you not to go?”

“Do you wish for me not to leave?”

His face hardened at her blunt question. Their gazes locked intensely in the empty space between them.

Sienna was the first to look away. A flash of lightning from outside momentarily diverted her gaze. His eyes, which had been watching her without wavering, sank gloomily.

“I wanted you to be mine.”

The low voice flowing into her ears was chilling. Her gaze turned back to him.

“So if you’re looking for the cause of your misfortune, find it in me.”

They were close enough to feel each other’s breath. The low voice flowing between them almost seemed like a whisper.

“There’s no need to blame yourself. No need to look back at the past anymore.”

“…”

“Because you’ll have a better future ahead.”

Sienna slightly furrowed her brow.

He was saying he wanted her to be his, yet rather than holding her back, he was pushing her away. At this point, it was a perfectly reasonable thing to say, and considering his personality, expecting him to hold her back would be more absurd.

The rain poured down as if to bring down the world. The deafening sound of the downpour filled the silence that had settled between them. The sound filling their ears gave the feeling of being cut off from the world.

A droplet of water that had formed on his straight forehead slid down. It seemed as though the sound of the falling droplet could be clearly heard even amidst the pouring rain.

Declan’s gaze, which had lingered on her for a long time, finally left. At last, Sienna’s lips parted.

“I loved you.”

A voice devoid of warmth flowed out. Purple eyes tinged with gray slowly turned toward her.

“Very much.”

The words confessing love were like declaring farewell.

She had denied it all along, but she actually knew. Even if someone other than him had rescued her from Lopwell, they would never have been like him.

Now that the end is in sight, it’s a feeling she can’t control.

After uttering the confession, which felt like a confession to a priest, Sienna withdrew her hand that had been holding his arm. At that moment, he reached out and embraced her waist. The distance the two had firmly maintained collapsed in an instant.

“Just until the rain stops.”

Sienna’s twisting movements ceased.

“I won’t ask for more than that…”

What came from above her head was a desperate plea.

For some unknown reason, her breathing quickened. Her chest repeatedly expanded and collapsed greatly. Each time this happened, the firm embrace holding her tightly became more distinctly felt. His body was very broad and hot.

Sienna didn’t push him away, but she didn’t embrace him back either. Her arms remained awkwardly frozen in the air for a while before carefully embracing his back.

She could feel his hand, which was wrapped around her waist, slowly moving and twisting the strings of her dress with his fingers. Yet he ultimately couldn’t untie them. Sienna blinked quietly while in his embrace.

This was ultimately what a relationship with an end in sight was like. Even knowing they desired each other, they couldn’t cross the line.

When she slightly separated her upper body, his arms tightly squeezing her waist loosened. While their eyes, bearing the same heat, contained each other, no words were exchanged. He tilted his head as if asking for permission. Instead of answering, Sienna lowered her gaze.

That alone was enough conversation.

Lips that had only been exhaling heated breaths while maintaining silence slowly collided. As he twisted his chin, his tongue invaded deeper.

A relationship with no way back. She knew that making an exception today was merely a capricious impulse. Nevertheless, the secluded cave in the forest and the sound of rain pouring outside, as if cutting them off from the world, made it easy to rationalize the situation.

She could feel his large hand stroking her thigh and lifting her skirt. Sienna closed her eyes quietly with her arms wrapped around his neck.

Let’s make today an exception. After all, we’ll soon face our farewell.

****

Autumn passed slowly.

Everything was proceeding smoothly. Dahlia’s ankle had healed, and an invitation to the hunting festival from the imperial palace had arrived not long ago. Now only the final hurdle remained.

After finishing his official duties, Declan headed not directly to his bedroom but to the terrace of the hall. He leaned against the railing and put a cigar in his mouth. It was at the same time that Sienna, who had awakened, came down to the terrace.

In the late night, when all the servants were asleep, the two meeting on the terrace was purely a coincidence.

Sienna, who was coming down the stairs, froze upon seeing him by the window, but she didn’t turn back. After pausing momentarily, she slowly continued down the stairs.

He too silently watched as she approached. The cigar in his mouth remained unlit as his purple eyes followed her movements.

Sienna stood at the pillar facing him. Declan put his cigar away again.

Despite how they had desired each other in the cave days ago as if they were the only man and woman in the world, the distance between the two standing on the terrace was now immense.

Come to think of it, this is where it all began.

On this terrace, in this hall, the two of them traversed the space every dawn, holding hands under the pretext of preparing for the ball. They laughed breathlessly at unremarkable conversations and felt a constricting pain in their chests at smiles that would soon disappear.

Now it truly felt like the past life, but there was definitely a time when they were like ordinary lovers. Even if it was just for a moment.

Sienna slowly parted her lips.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“…”

“There’s still plenty of time until winter.”

Despite being the first to speak, Sienna’s gaze was directed not at him but at the empty space. She hesitantly continued.

“So I’d like to just follow our hearts.”

Her gentle voice settled on the quiet dawn air. Only then did her blue eyes turn toward him.

After all, there was no absolute emotion in this relationship. Whatever it might be, the most important thing was that there was a desire for each other within it.

Sienna curved her lips and whispered quietly.

“When autumn ends, the end will come anyway. Isn’t it too wasteful to let the remaining time slip away like this?”

Busy upholding her pride, she had already missed many things.

The moments when she could have fixed their twisted relationship and the moments when she could have prevented Soliet’s death. Many parts of the past were regrettable, but now she didn’t want to waste time suffering over spilled milk.

If their hearts are the same, what reason is there to hesitate?

She didn’t mind if the ending was predetermined. After all, the end hasn’t arrived yet.

Declan silently just smiled. He slowly took a step. Even so, his tall legs reached her in just two steps.

Sienna didn’t have the courage to face him directly and stubbornly stared at the firm chest in front of her. Eventually, warm arms embraced her.

She could understand the answer without hearing it.

Sienna smiled faintly and embraced him back.