Chapter 4
The bus rattled quietly as it rolled along.
A vibration buzzed from inside my pocket.
I shifted the shopping bag to one hand and pulled out my phone.
Jin Eun-sol.
Of course. Probably calling just to check if I’d picked up.
I pressed the call button and brought the phone to my ear.
“Hello?”
— [Where are you?]
Sounded like he’d already arrived at the hospital.
“Me? Uh… I’m at the Electronic Land intersection right now,” I said, glancing out the window.
He sighed on the other end—a slow, bored exhale.
As if he was already tired of waiting.
He could’ve gone ahead and gotten treated. But he didn’t.
— [When are you coming?]
I almost blurted out How would I know?, but stopped myself.
“I still have to transfer buses one more time.”
I heard him brush his hair back, the irritation crackling through the line.
Maybe he was regretting what he did now. A little.
“Does your palm hurt a lot?” I asked, softening my voice as if to coax a child.
— […No.]
There was hesitation before he replied, like he was debating whether to admit it that it was hurting him.
As if it was beneath him to need comfort.
The bus rocked again, a little harder this time.
Jin Eun-sol hated being sick. Maybe because he’d been sick his whole life.
He hated it enough that he wanted to die.
I lowered my gaze and asked again, quietly:
“Why… did you do it?”
— [What?]
“…Your palm.”
A pause.
Then he replied, like it didn’t matter.
— [My sister was laughing like an idiot.]
…What?
The bus shuddered as new passengers got on, shaking my hair slightly.
— [I just didn’t want to hear it.]
My mouth clamped shut.
The quiet bus filled with noise—boys joking, swearing, heading downtown. But between Jin Eun-sol and me, the silence remained suffocating.
I didn’t know what to say.
Did I really laugh out loud?
At most, maybe the corner of my mouth twitched.
That was enough to make him bleed?
What he really meant was this:
Even if I’m about to die, I don’t want to see you happy.
As if I were a stray dog wagging its tail for someone else—and that alone was enough reason to put his mood down.
I still remember that favorite dog of him which was eventually sold off.
I remembered it clearly—how I’d handed that dog over to a meat dealer without a second thought.
[What are you doing? It’s suddenly so noisy.]
While I silently picked at the clothes on my lap, his voice cut through the line, sharper than before.
“Ah, just… there are some kids on the bus,” I said casually, glancing outside the window.
[Noisy.]
That word again. Jin Eun-sol sounded annoyed.
I flinched without realizing it and instinctively cupped my palm over the receiver.
“Sorry. There are just… a lot of kids.”
[I told you it was noisy.]
I bit my lower lip hard. From his end, I heard a faint click—the sound of his teeth clenching.
I straightened my back and pressed the stop bell. It didn’t matter where I got off—there’d be another bus to the hospital anyway.
“I’ll get off here soon.”
[Take a taxi.]
Click.
He hung up.
I stared down at the phone. The call hadn’t even lasted four minutes, but I felt wrung out. Completely drained.
My face, pale and tired, reflected faintly on the darkened phone screen.
I got off the bus, not forgetting the shopping bag. As the bus pulled away, hot wind swept over me. I stood there for a second longer, numb, then flagged down a taxi. Luckily, it didn’t take long—just a few steps closer to the city center, and one pulled up.
I gave the driver the hospital name and leaned back on the seat.
If you’d just let me ride with you in the first place… none of this would’ve happened.
Just then—as if he were waiting—my phone rang again.
Jin Eun-sol.
I furrowed my brows slightly, stared at the screen for a second, then answered.
“Yeah, Eunsol.”
[Where are you?]
His voice sounded different this time—less irritated, like the earlier call hadn’t happened. Maybe he liked that it was quiet now.
“I think I’m almost at the hospital.”
[Oh. I’m staying overnight today.]
My brow twitched again, involuntarily.
“Is it… serious enough to need hospitalization?”
[No. I’m just tired.]
“Ah… okay.”
Despite the scowl tugging at my face, my voice came out sweetly. Too sweet.
I almost laughed at myself. A soft breath of disbelief escaped me.
It was ridiculous—getting angry when he was cold, but scared of what might happen if he smiled.
The call ended again, abruptly.
“Ha…”
I sighed and stuffed my phone back in my pocket.
Well, guess I’ll have to wake up early tomorrow and go to school.
Jin Eun-sol had notoriously low blood pressure. Waking up in the morning was practically a battle for her.
I wish I had two bodies.
When not at the hospital, Jin Eun-sol lived in a separate building anyway, so she didn’t have to take care of him until the morning, but it was different in the hospital room.
Just thinking about it made me tired.
I have to take care of that kid, wake up at dawn, go to school, change clothes, and go back to the hospital.
Thinking that I arrived at the hospital quickly.
* * *
Jin Eun-sol still couldn’t look at the nurse while she was treating him and started vomiting.
Leaning on my arm, he vomited into the envelope I handed him.
As soon as the treatment was over, I changed him into the clothes I had brought for him.
Jin Eun-sol’s hand, which had been treated simply, was covered with a gauze that was the size of a palm.
I probably would have to come to the hospital often to change the gauze, but the doctor, who knows us well, must have felt bad for Jin Eun-sol who vomits every time, so he gave me separate instructions on how to change the gauze.
For dinner, I simply ate something from the restaurant attached to the hospital.
I didn’t eat it there, I just got it packed and ate it in Jin Eun-sol’s hospital room.
Anyway, as soon as I arrived at the hospital, I contacted Kim Eun-ah.
As if Jin Sol had already said that I was going to sleep at the hospital, Kim Eun Ah asked me to take good care of him.
After finishing my call with Kim Eun-ah, I went into the hospital room.
“Where have you been?”
Jin Eun-sol asked without taking his eyes off the game on his phone.
“I had a quick conversation with your mother.”
Jin Sol seemed uninterested in my answer and went back to focusing on the game.
I looked at Jin Sol like that and then slowly went to my seat.
Before dinner, I sat down at the table where my school uniform, bag, and homework were piled up, which I had hastily brought.
Jin Eun-sol played the game quietly, and I did my homework quietly.
The sound of a ballpoint pen clicking and silence echoed throughout the hospital room.
The stuffy air and the suffocating silence were all from my end.
On the contrary, Jin Eun-sol had a much more comfortable face than at home.
“Why?”
Jin Eun-sol felt the gaze of her that was watching him and lifted head from his game to ask.
His wit was damn fast.
I pressed the drafting pencil hard with my finger.
“Oh, nothing. If you’re sleepy, just tell me. I can do my homework outside.”
He glanced at his phone and saw that it was past 10 o’clock.
“It’s okay.”
Jin Eun-sol frowned slightly at my words, wondering what was wrong again, and continued playing the game.
Yeah, there’s not much homework left anyway.
I banged my head back on the table like Jin Eun-sol.
When I finished my homework, Jin Eun-sol was asleep with the blanket pulled over her head.
I told him to tell me when he was sleepy.
I clicked my tongue inwardly and looked at Jin Eun-sol with a pitiful expression.
I finally got everything prepared for the school tomorrow, washed up in the bathroom near the lobby, and took out the cot.
Then I turned off the lights and laid down.
“Oh, alarm.”
I set my alarm for 5 and 6 o’clock right before I went to bed.
Strangely, whenever I came to the hospital, I didn’t hear the 5 o’clock alarm.
I placed my cell phone on the nightstand and closed my eyes with my back to Jin Eun-sol.
* * *
What time is it?
I blinked my slowly opening eyes.
The surroundings were still dark, as if dawn was approaching.
Ah, it’s been a while since I slept in the hospital room, so I must have woken up before the alarm went off.
I tried to get up.
If only I hadn’t felt a small breath on the back of my neck.
I froze at the feeling of a large lump behind my back.
What is this?
My mind, just about to wake up, suddenly snapped as if it had touched cold water.
My eyes rolled without any reason.
I wanted to get up right away, but my body was paralyzed by the poison and I couldn’t move easily.
That was the moment.
The alarm on my phone that I had set for 5 o’clock started ringing.
What do I do?
Should I get up?
What do I do?
At that moment, a large, thick arm came down in front of my eyes.
My body was frozen solid, and I rolled my eyes along that forearm.
A hand wrapped in gauze grabbed the cell phone that was placed on the bedside table.
It was Jin Eun-sol’s hand.
There was a rustling sound behind me, and the breath I had felt near the back of my neck disappeared.
And the alarm that had been blaring loudly went off.
It was faint, like a thread suffocating.
Jin Eun-sol turned off the alarm.
Why is he behind me…?
Even though I wanted to swallow, it wouldn’t go down my throat because of the tight tension.
“Sol…….”
Jin Eun-sol muttered above my head.
My heart started pounding like crazy.
I closed my eyes tightly.
That was the name under which I saved Jin Eun-sol’s phone number.
Are you looking at my phone right now?
Why?
“… …She still won’t change it.”
Jin Eun-sol’s voice, without any highs or lows, came out meaninglessly.
And then again, Jin Sol shut his mouth and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of him searching through my cell phone.
As time passed, my throat became tight and constricted.
I felt like a rat was crawling out of my body.
How much time has passed?
I heard the sound of Jin Eun-sol putting my phone back down, as if he had finished his business on my phone.
Only then did I feel like I could breathe a little easier.
There was a rustling sound of clothes behind me and far away, i could hear the sound of a spring sinking from Jin Eun-sol’s bed.
And I could even hear the sound of his body crawling between the blankets.
I blinked again.
* * *
