Chapter 17
“Aaah!”
Jin Eun-sol trampled on my foot cruelly. I screamed at the sight of the bizarre foot shape that wasn’t facing straight ahead. The scream was followed by excruciating pain. I heard a ringing in my ears, and Jin Eun-sol laughed like a madman as he watched me suffer. He was completely out of his mind. I writhed in pain from the moment he tore out my hair. I was like a bug to him. Like an earthworm that had been stepped on by his foot.
After Jin Eun-sol had pulled my hair out, my scalp stung so much that it wouldn’t have been strange if blood had come out, but it was nothing compared to my broken foot. On the contrary, no tears came out. This horrible feeling and pain were something I never wanted to experience again.
And Jin Eun-sol took me to the hospital without any delay. Even in the midst of all that, I kept making excuses to Jin Eun-sol.
“I… I… I’m doing this because I miss my mom. I didn’t run away. I didn’t even think about that.”
When I said that before going into surgery, Jin Eun-sol didn’t even respond. It seemed like he didn’t even want to hear my story about leaving the mansion without saying anything and heading to Busan. Anyway, after that moment of freedom, I felt like I was going to be locked in a cage. It was a perfectly good omen for Jin Eun-sol.
I couldn’t understand. Even I was acting like his dog.
But whenever I came across Jin Eun-sol, I stupidly realized it at that moment,
“Ah.”
I am afraid of Jin Eun-sol. I was afraid of Jin Eun-sol. What scares me is that Jin Eun-sol is obsessed with me more than I could ever imagine, to the point where it’s eating away at the feelings of hatred that I had for him.
Jin Eun-sol had closed the door of the main house in front of me that winter as we headed back home from the hospital.
What…?
My whole body was trembling. I just had a surgery and was about to go back home after being discharged from the hospital.
“Ugh, Eun-sol!”
At that moment, I knocked on the door cowardly. Then I heard laughter from inside, as he said,
“You can just go to your mom’s house.”
Phew, phew.
All the warmth escaped with my exhaled breath. I couldn’t even think of anything to say back to that guy. Really, did I miss my mom so much? Jin Eun-sol’s words made me start to regret my actions.
Oh, no. I just… I just… I made up the excuse about my mom because I wanted to get away from you even for a bit. That’s what it was.
Where can I go now when I leave your house? I didn’t even graduate from high school, and the only thing I’m good at is studying. It was scary to think of myself limping through the streets this winter.
“I won’t do it again.”
I spoke to him in a desperate, pleading tone. It was so cold outside. It was a kind of weather that I couldn’t survive. Not yet. I had no intention of leaving Jin Eun-sol’s house this early. I was so stupid. I guess I’m really stupid.
However, Jin Eun-sol’s voice could not be heard as he had already left the main door.
“I really won’t do that!”
It was so cold.
It was so cold outside that my broken bones felt like they would fall off like icicles in the cold.
The cold enveloped my whole body, and I shivered. Although I still had a lot of pocket money in my coat, I waited there, shivering.
I couldn’t understand.
Maybe I could wait while drinking a warm beverage at a convenience store or something.
No… then Jin Eun-sol would cause trouble again. Well, then maybe I should just cut off my foot now.
I waited outside the front door for a not-so-short ten minutes that day, and only after that did Jin Eun-sol open the door. It was so cold that I ran towards Jin Eun-sol. When I held his hand, he didn’t move from his spot, and his hand was cold like mine. No, I don’t know because our hands were cold to begin with. Is it cold or warm? I just took his pale hand.
“I won’t do it again.”
Jin Eun-sol looked at my blue lips and reluctantly said,
“…Okay.”
At that moment, it started snowing.
On the way back towards the room, I glanced at the place where the dogs were, wondering what was going on.
Was it because the dogs, who would have immediately wagged their tails and barked loudly if Jin Eun-sol had been in the yard, were quiet? They say curiosity killed the cat.
The wide bars where the dogs were supposed to be were empty, as if there had never been anything there before. Only after checking all that did I swallow.
I don’t want to know.
I didn’t want to know the inside story anymore. I just limped and followed Jin Eun-sol into his parents’ house. That was it. While being hit by the falling snow.
Kim Eun-ah suddenly saw me coming into the house with a broken leg and asked what was happening, and Jin Eun-sol went into the room without saying a word.
I just hung around.
I said that I misstepped and fell down the stairs. The cast felt tight around my leg and uncomfortable as I limped along. Then, Kim Eun-ah said,
“Oh! Then the sound that came around dawn was by you Hyun-ji?” And I made an incomprehensible expression.
After that, I didn’t talk to anyone working at Jin Eun-sol’s house. Not even the common greeting of “hello.”
We entered high school. Fortunately, the cast was able to be removed before entering school, and my leg did not limp.
Running wasn’t difficult either. Jin Eun-sol and I were assigned to the same class, as if it was a given. Seats were assigned in the order in which students arrive. As it happened, the last two seats were empty, so the two of us sat there.
The classroom was quiet and noisy at times, as if a new semester was just beginning. Jin Eun-sol always took out his phone and played a game with an indifferent expression, no matter what.
Me, too. I just laid my head down on the desk. I felt like I was being sucked by gravity from my head to my feet. But whenever I felt that way, the annoyingly small sound of Jin Eun-sol’s game would always be heard. This was proof that I hadn’t collapsed.
Then, strangely, sleep came over me. Jin Eun-sol’s chair creaked slightly, and he placed his cell phone down on the desk. And I felt Jin Eun-sol’s gaze on my face. Just as I was starting to feel uncomfortable with his gaze, his large hand brushed the back of my neck. My eyes shot open for a moment, and I put my hand on the back of my neck.
The stiff collar of the uniform had been touched by him.
Jin Eun-sol furrowed his brows.
A displeased expression took over Jin Eun-sol’s face. Then he was seen nervously picking up his phone again and starting to play a game.
I rubbed the back of my neck, where goosebumps were rising. I thought those graceful, long fingers I knew were strangling me. I was about to say sorry, but then I stopped myself. I wasn’t slumped over my desk anymore.
After some time had passed, the classroom was almost full. The children were already gathered in groups of three or five. In fact, there were some kids who pretended to know Jin Eun-sol first.
“Uh? Eun-sol!”
Every time that happened, Jin Eun-sol would say, “Huh,” and give a vague reply.
The guy had friends, and it was just a little strange. I wondered if someone would follow that beggarly personality of him. Then, when a slightly cheerful guy pretended to know him more, Jin Eun-sol smiled slightly. My fingers trembled. It was my first time seeing something like that. And then I pretended not to see it and looked outside the window.
Most of the time, Jin Eun-sol would respond, and most of the guys he talked to were kids who didn’t even pay attention to me. I wondered if there were any rules. I knew I didn’t have any friends, so I wouldn’t talk to them anyway. I didn’t even expect it. Even when I was in middle school, I didn’t have any friends.
I glanced at Jin Eun-sol again. This time, he was talking to a kid I was close with, even putting down the game he was playing on his phone. If you looked at it that way, Jin Eun-sol still looked young, like other kids his age. No one would know that a dark devil was growing inside.
“Oh, I heard he came to this school too,” Jin Eun-sol muttered, as if he had just remembered his friend.
Jin Eun-sol was seen tilting his head and narrowing his eyebrows, as if he had no idea what was going on.
“You know, Irohan.”
This is it. Who is it? It was a name I’d never heard before. On the other hand, Jin Eun-sol is someone I know quite well.
“Ah.”
He let out a dry sound. My body tensed a little at that sound. Because I knew that the more dry he was on the outside, the more he would boil inside. It seemed like Jin Eun-sol was a child who held grudges, even when something happened. Poor guy. If that person gets caught… I felt a sense of kinship with the child whose face I didn’t even know.
“What class?”
“Uh? Well, I think it’s Class 3?”
Class 3. Jin Eun-sol muttered, following the boy’s words. I felt like his voice was engraved in me, as if it was something I would remember for a long time. My class was Class 7. Since there are bathrooms on both sides, I don’t think we’ll see each other often, but when I glanced at Jin Eun-sol, our eyes met right away.
Uh.
When I looked at Jin Eun-sol in surprise, he quickly turned his head away, as if he had never even looked at me in the first place. I felt a chill run down my spine. And the discomfort began to build. I rubbed my cheek for no reason at the gaze that didn’t even reach me.
“Okay.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll contact you later.”
Jin Eun-sol still didn’t even respond. Instead of picking up his phone again, he looked at me with a mysterious expression. Then he quickly turned his gaze outside the window. The classroom was still noisy. The two of us stayed there quietly, without saying a word.
Friends constantly came and went around Jin Eun-sol. Almost all of them had bad-looking faces. There was also a faint smell of cigarette smoke. So I vaguely thought that Jin Eun-sol might smoke too. I hadn’t smelled cigarette smoke yet, though. As ot is common for typical boys, the conversation they were having was childish. The conversations were things like, “Come here because I’ve created a hideout,” or “I bought a bike without telling my father.” Jin Eun-sol just smiled and said he understood. Even though they were reporting to Jin Eun-sol, their boastful tone seemed somewhat excited. That was the part I couldn’t understand.
