“Episode 37”
Kendal is dead. Because of the herb I gave him. I never imagined there would be a poisonous herb that horses raised in the north couldn’t eat. It was all because of my stupidity as a master.
I am pathetic, Erena Walter. I am nothing but a pile of ashes, covering my face, a foolish and useless woman.
“P-please, go back. It’s okay. I-I’ll take care of Kendal’s funeral…”
As Erena cried with her face covered, the light summoned by Lucian faded away, and darkness enveloped them again.
In that dark silence, Lucian knelt down.
At the thought of daring to make the emperor kneel, Erena hastily tried to get up. But as she barely managed to stand, she found herself being embraced by Lucian for the first time.
“…!”
Trembling, she buried her face in his chest.
Is this a dream? Am I going insane from crying too much? Amidst these thoughts, Lucian spoke.
“Empress.”
“…Y-yes?”
“I was never afraid of the empress. I was always afraid of myself.”
“…?”
In the darkness, Erena looked up at Lucian, who was barely visible. His golden, mysterious eyes and mischievous smile were invisible in this darkness. She strained to meet his unseen gaze.
Then, a faint sound of laughter came from the darkness. And his lips, filled with warm breath, met her tear-stained cheek.
“!”
Erena froze at this simple expression of affection, usually reserved for friends or children.
To her, every expression of affection from Lucian was a first.
Why is he like this? His hands that embraced me are so big and strong, but why is he trembling like this…?
Erena didn’t know what to say. Eventually, she raised her small hand and hugged Lucian as tightly as she could.
After the embrace, the two of them buried Kendal in the empress’s palace garden without any help, just as they wanted, a quiet funeral.
* * *
After Kendal’s funeral, Erena was able to calm down and organize her thoughts a bit.
Why did a deadly poison mix into the feed I always prepared? Of course, it could have been an accident since I’ve only been in the capital for a year and don’t know what grows here.
However, Erena trusted her instincts. That woman must have been involved. Otherwise, why would she bring up Kendal’s death first during the time and place she was with the Countess? Despite being in the palace for only seven days, Erena disliked her for subtly insulting her and acting as if she was naive about worldly affairs.
That woman mocked everything. Though unbelievable, the Emperor was fascinated by her power. It was Lucian who allowed her to stay in the palace villa, giving her a strange foothold in the palace.
Although she never opposed his decisions, Erena was determined. She told Lucian with a melancholy face:
“Y-you know, elegant people don’t, don’t behave like that. If she were a lady, she wouldn’t do such things. She and the Countess suddenly appeared at a gathering where the guest and the Countess were supposed to be separate…”
Trying to push away the sudden past thoughts, Erena struggled to speak:
“But I couldn’t help it. I felt… malicious intent. Her attitude, as if standing above the palace law… But Kendal’s incident was also my mistake. I’m the only one who feeds him. But that woman seemed to know about Kendal’s incident. As if she knew he would die…”
“Do you want to say that the woman who killed Kendal is the palace guest, Empress?”
Lucian was neither affirming nor denying as he looked at his wife.
Standing above him, her feet on the mysterious golden platform, Erena met his gaze directly.
His calling her by name was incredibly endearing. She struggled to respond, fearing she might lose her resolve:
“I…I felt…malicious intent. She… used your wish to concoct evil deeds!”
“Erena?”
“If you don’t trust her, don’t trust the power she gives you!”
“Erena?”
Using the power of the mysterious treasure called Ariaakne from beyond dimensions, the Emperor succeeded in inheriting the power. But as time went on, the more powerful his body and magic became, the weaker his mind became. The people of the empire thought succession to the throne was just something the emperor should do, and the nobles saw the succession to the throne using the treasure of Ariaakne as a plausible act.
It was just a story to be worshipped without any thoughts. To the subjugated, it was a natural consequence to endure the pain of the ruler.
But Erena was different.
Because she loved the ruler.
With a sincere heart, Empress Erena approached the Emperor step by step. And she grabbed his hand as if catching a precious treasure.
His hand, big and firm, was as warm as if made of pure gold. To grasp it firmly, she had to stretch out both hands. But she held it tightly.
“If you don’t trust that woman, don’t trust the power she gives you!”
“Erena?”
With determination, she tried to warn her husband.
During the three years when her father generously supported her modest education, she was able to study mathematics at the capital’s academy. Of course, it was sporadic learning. Her father deemed even the tuition fees for her entry into the academy as wasteful, especially considering their modest financial situation. Nevertheless, her limited financial circumstances also played a role. She had to struggle through each semester, one at a time.
Yet, even in such circumstances, her desire to pursue education in mathematics was not solely driven by a shameful passion for learning. She harbored a secret admiration for Lucian Bieu Ariacne, whom she had admired since her days as a ward of the imperial family, reading books in the academy library.
His golden locks shimmering in the breeze, his sharp eyes scanning through knowledge, and his ever-soft smile always loosely hanging on his lips—she cherished these aspects of him.
With cautiousness, Elerina brought up memories of her resurrected first love.
“Your Majesty… I mean, Lucian…”
“You can call me Lucian. Actually, you should have called me Lucian from the beginning.”
“Erm… Lucian.”
“Yes?”
Elerina nodded her head. His face was not clearly visible in the moonlight. Her lips trembled. Lucian… Lucian…
“Lucian, I think we need to expedite the decision of the temple. While the power of the Palace Guest is mysterious, it surely comes with its share of side effects. Like the power of Ariacne…”
“You’re right, Eren. Our mad ancestor used Ariacne’s power to pass down the imperial line. The emperors went insane because of it. Previous emperors maintained their sanity while passing down the power to their heirs, but I don’t want to maintain my sanity by passing such power down to my child.”
“Eren?”
In the midst of her complex thoughts, Elerina was amazed that Lucian knew her nickname. She struggled to maintain her composure as she looked directly at her husband. His response was surprisingly tender as he gently held her hand.
“How do you know my nickname?”
“What?”
Lucian spoke softly.
“There was a strange girl at the Ariacne Empire Academy. She said she was admitted into the empire’s family through the mercy of her father and was just passively complying with her position as a ward. She didn’t have any ambitions and spent her time trying to stop her two mischievous friends from arguing.”
As Lucian continued speaking, Elerina’s pupils widened.
“But that girl was acting strangely. She didn’t confess her feelings and didn’t follow me around like the other girls did. Gradually, I realized that the girl with the big brown eyes was not just absent-mindedly wandering around the library. But, surely, she didn’t appear that often.”
“Well, she didn’t come that… well, of course, that girl isn’t me. You should hear her si… situation from her pe… perspective…”
Eventually, Elerina choked up.
…Unbelievable.
He remembered the girl who secretly followed the weak and unwell crown prince, just like those other girls who followed him, wanting to become the next empress.
Elerina raised her head firmly. She had to somehow deny that it was her!
Ignoring his wife’s confusion, Lucian smiled knowingly.
“The girl with big brown eyes and brown hair was so small and fragile, like a deer.”
Lucian whispered softly.
“People in the palace tend to be cautious around the fragile ones. If you’re not careful, they might explode like a bomb.”
Elerina trembled as she lowered her head, blushing like a ripe apple. She shivered as she placed her trembling hands in his, which he held firmly.
“At that time, I was busy taking care of my cousin’s younger sister. She was a ward of her father and we were close. However, the palace’s decision separated us. When my cousin’s male heir failed in the imperial succession, my cousin put her sister into the hands of the previous emperor.”
It was Lucian’s story. His wife’s embarrassment was less important than his story. She cautiously squeezed his hand. Thanks to her courageous act, her heart pounded louder than ever before.
Thankfully, Lucian accepted her gesture of holding hands. With a faint smile tinged with cloudy melancholy, he continued speaking.
“And I wanted to stay at the library during the vacation instead of returning to the palace. I wanted to read books and contemplate how I would die, whether I would go mad and be confined in loneliness, or whether I would become a mere tool in the pocket of the real emperor who would appear in the future.”
As Lucian’s story continued, his eyes, which had been dark with sorrow, regained a mischievous bright light in the next moment.
