“Episode 11”
What’s on your mind?”
“Well… How could you guess the worries of a duchess with refined hobbies like reading humanities books?”
“But, the book I got for you isn’t a humanities book—”
As Yuliana widened her eyes, Anna quickly lowered her head. The hierarchical society made things a bit easier.
Suppressing Anna in one fell swoop, Yuliana sobbed and buried her face in the pillow, then unfolded the book she had started reading since yesterday. The book with folded marks had a stiff texture and a fresh book smell.
“Anna.”
“Yes?”
Anna, who had turned back with the intention of bringing tea to replace the shattered teacup, sparkled with her eyes. Yuliana, still looking through the book, spoke.
“Did anyone try to manipulate you through me?”
“Oh….”
Anna was taken aback and hunched her shoulders.
She didn’t tell the Duchess, but honestly, there were more than a few people trying to get to the Duchess through the maids and manservants of the ducal estate.
But the current Duchess was different from before. In the past, she might have enjoyed and utilized such attention, but now she hated such attentions.
After pondering for a while to choose her words carefully, Anna pursed her lips.
“Well, there were quite a few people like that. It seems rumors spread because of my presence by the Duchess’s side.”
“Isn’t that strange? I, who barely even stroll around the palace, a common—, ah. Maybe not at a common level, but anyway, I used to just enjoy leisurely activities. But rumors spreading about who I’m with? And using that person to get to me. It’s just a way of showing they like me.”
Yuliana frowned, resenting her past self who had chosen to be engulfed in flames along with the relentless moths.
She wasn’t expecting Anna’s response. She felt uneasy about the overwhelmingly unwelcome popularity that had even reached the newspapers. She felt like if she didn’t say something, her anxiety wouldn’t be relieved.
However, unexpectedly, Anna responded clearly.
“Yes. You’re right. It’s strange. The Duchess’s past, um—. What should I call it?”
“Yeah. I was a bit thoughtless.”
Yuliana admitted briskly before Anna could make a melodious sound from her mouth.
Perhaps because of that honest answer, Anna poured out her sincere feelings as if from a well.
“B-but it’s not like that anymore, right? You don’t want that attention anymore—. It’s strange that those people who keep insisting even though you don’t like them anymore. It’s like the situation with the Duchess of Ethalya in ‘Noble Divorce.'”
“Ah. That humanities book you mentioned?”
“That’s a romance novel.”
“…You really don’t say anything, maid.”
Pretending not to hear, Anna continued, “The Duchess of Ethalya was like that too. She had many followers and enjoyed that attention. But later, she tried to get rid of them to find true love. But she couldn’t.”
“What happened to the Duchess of Ethalya?”
Yuliana asked, resting her chin and pretending to be quite casual. Anna lowered her head, then spoke with a trembling voice.
“She died. Because of those men who chased after her.”
Later, when Anna said it was just a romance novel, Yuliana couldn’t shake off the eerie feeling.
—
“Oh! Let’s praise the Sun God!”
“Oh!”
Everyone in the temple raised their hands towards the statue of the Sun God.
A priest, dragging his loose sleeves, sprinkled holy water towards the crowd. Thanks to him, Yuliana, who had pushed herself out of bed, almost got hit by that holy water.
But thanks to Evan, who embraced her protectively, the noble standing beside Yuliana took the hit instead.
The noble, with holy water splattered on him, didn’t seem pleased. However, pretending not to notice the resentful gaze directed at her, Yuliana got caught up in the fervor of the singing crowd and waved her fan like a fluttering bird.
“How’s your body?”
Evan glanced at Yuliana, whispering in her ear. Yuliana muttered softly, fearing the priest might notice.
“I’m fine.”
“I didn’t expect you to get up from your sickbed and come straight to the temple.”
“Oh. It’s natural for devout citizens of the Empire. They come to listen to their husbands preach the doctrine. How appropriate.”
“….”
Evan narrowed his eyes and looked down at Yuliana.
Yuliana boldly met her husband’s gaze. In response, Evan smiled and said, “The Sun God must be pleased. You’ve proven the sanctity of our marriage.”
“Is that so?”
“No. I lied. The deity who validated our marriage is Yurie, the goddess of marriage and purity.”
“Hmm… I don’t remember that. Of course, I remember.”
The nobleman who had been hit by holy water glanced at them as they whispered to each other.
Yuliana remained silent for a moment. Then, when the hymn ended and the priest began delivering a tedious sermon, she spoke calmly.
“Thanks to your concern, my body has recovered. I appreciate it.”
“Did you not know that your faithful maid rejected my visit in a revolutionary way?”
“Oh my! Who rejected it? I was so exhausted that I fell asleep as soon as I collapsed, so I didn’t know you were planning to visit.”
“Madam had sweat on her feet, heat on her face, and was swollen…. If you see her now, you might mistake her for Lady Polacia flower rather than the Madam. She had various excuses if you analyze each one.”
‘Anna…’
Yuliana loosened the muffler around her neck, feeling frustrated.
She was supposed to ignore it, but Anna’s words seemed to say, “All my words are excuses, so just ignore them.”
Moreover, comparing her to a Polacian flower was outrageous. It was a flower that existed across the continent, with human faces imprinted on its petals. To liken her to such a monstrous flower was a jab at both her and her mistress. Indeed, Anna was not an ordinary maid in any sense.
Yuliana glanced briefly at her husband and whispered again.
“I see. I didn’t know I was that ill.”
“I heard you didn’t even put down your books during that illness.”
“Is that so?”
“What? Were you laying in bed to avoid seeing me, or were you reading?”
“I… I was really in pain! Don’t you believe me?”
She truly was in pain for about two days. That was genuine. Yuliana unintentionally raised her voice for a moment, then glanced at the bedside. Soon, she squirmed uncomfortably and buried her face between the folds of her muffler.
It wasn’t just her who was chattering; the pesky priest was glaring menacingly at Yuliana alone. Finally relenting from fervently preaching the doctrine, the priest turned his gaze away from Yuliana’s surveillance and began shouting at other worshippers.
“Praise be to the Lamb of God!”
“If I were a lamb, I’d probably have turned into lamb chops by now.”
Yuliana moped, but soon lifted her head. Her husband’s gaze was fervent, after all.
Ignoring the sermon and boldly meeting her husband’s gaze, Yuliana whispered.
“It’s natural for you not to trust me. You’ve seen the foolish admirers in the newspapers, right? How could you not think poorly of me? Oh! I have a brilliant idea. How about divorcing this pathetic wife? This is the perfect opportunity.”
Yuliana subtly proposed divorce, and Evan chuckled.
“How can you think of yourself as pathetic? They’re the pathetic ones. I told you, didn’t I? If you agree, I’ll take care of them.”
“That’s a death sentence, isn’t it?”
“Didn’t I say my temperament is vile?”
“…Tsk.”
Yuliana swallowed a lump in her throat and coughed hoarsely.
After the brief coughing fit, Yuliana attempted to speak again, but the priest started urging the worshippers to join hands and exclaimed, “Come on! Let us join hands!” In response, Yuliana awkwardly reached out her hand, feigning compliance with the priest’s directive, even if it meant engaging in the peculiar act of bowing to the statue.
The majestic statue merely gazed indifferently at the people praying to it. Yuliana sighed deeply as she glanced briefly at the statue. The priest, lost in his own fervor, closed his eyes and rambled on about something.
Meanwhile, Evan quietly grasped Yuliana’s hand without hesitation and spoke softly.
“Yuliana.”
His words intermingled with the noise of the priest’s speech. Despite the priest’s ramblings sounding like background noise, Evan calmly continued to speak.
“If you no longer want their attention, I can help. Whenever you want, gladly. Unfortunately, I don’t know why you’re hesitating, but—”
Upon hearing Evan’s words, Yuliana sighed inwardly and thought, ‘You know, I found out two months ago that I’ve been reincarnated, and of all things, as an extra in a novel set to be killed off. The main character will appear in a few months, and the guys bothering me will start causing trouble. Before that happens, I need to deal with the guys following me around and neatly sort out our relationship. Can you help?’
Lost in thought, Yuliana finally spoke, but it sounded like she was talking nonsense with a straight face.
“Well, you can’t help me. Not the way things are going.”
“Yuliana.”
He furrowed his brows, then gently led Yuliana’s hand towards himself.
“I wish I knew what’s going through your mind.”
He said grimly over the back of her hand. Yuliana detected a hint of melancholy in his tone and quickly pulled back, feeling a pang of guilt.
It had been two months since she found out about her reincarnation. His sincerity came straight at her, but she couldn’t accept his feelings entirely.
In the spoiler-filled ending, “Yuliana Oben” never appears. She dies before the happy ending.
Yuliana murmured, “Help me, please.”
“I want to help. In my own way. In my way, I can’t just discard you like a used thing. You know? Yuliana Oben.”
He smirked with one corner of his mouth raised and memorized only the last verse of the prayer when the priest began the oath ceremony.
It was a prayer of submission to the gods. The oath he uttered didn’t sound common coming from the priest’s mouth. Instead, he seemed almost like a priest receiving blessings from the gods.
Yuliana shook her head, but Evan persistently followed her gaze and kissed the back of her hand.
—
On the way back to the carriage, Evan remained silent, seeming angry. For the first time, he gazed outside with a chilly air about him.
He stared outside, unmoving, his silence creating a tense atmosphere. The night breeze blew in through the open window, messing up the muffler. Yuliana quietly endured the flapping muffler, simply adjusting it with the breeze and maintaining her silence.
After a while, Evan spoke up.
“When you were unwell for those two days. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to stay by your side. I might have been better at serving you than a newly employed maid.”
Standing by the window with one hand resting on the frame, he continued speaking softly.
“I can be more valuable to you than anything else by your side. Have I ever been useless to you?”
“You’re very valuable. That’s why I feel sorry.”
Yuliana replied, her eyebrows showing determination.
“I know what I read since I was stuck in bed. It’s the book Anna secretly brought in.”
Yuliana pulled out a book from her bag. It was a satirical novel mocking noble divorces. Perhaps that’s why its reputation among the nobility was spreading like wildfire.
It also introduced methods of ‘divorce’ in the Ariaqne Empire. For this reason, Yuliana intended to casually refer to it as a reference.
However, upon reading it, she couldn’t finish it again because the process of mutual divorce seemed too one-sidedly hurtful.
Why couldn’t she read a novel where one party is hurt again?
Yuliana sensed that her feelings had changed. Unlike in the past when it was easy to hurt Evan, she couldn’t do it nowadays.
But even so, she couldn’t genuinely trust him. Two months after realizing her past life, she couldn’t fully believe and love him.
She just wanted to run away. The thought of dying unable to escape from her harsh past life couldn’t be erased.
—
Yuliana was a 20-year-old who had lived two lives, so she was quite tired.
How could she explain all of this? If she said such things, could you still love me?
Maybe as a confident person, you don’t know if you love me because I haven’t fully accepted you. If I do, I’ll be swept away by the original heroine who will soon appear.
“I don’t want to consider divorce in such a childish way portrayed here. It’s too childish, isn’t it?”
“Do you still think I’m not enough for you?”
Evan reached one hand out beyond the window, letting it brush against the night breeze.
He furrowed his left eyebrow slightly. Was it because of the skin that appeared bluish-green under the moonlight? He seemed more like a god than the statue he saw in the temple.
Yuliana tried her best to appear as she did in the past, swallowing hard to hide her emotions.
“Of course.”
“Hmm.”
Despite the swaying of the carriage, Evan effortlessly shifted to the other side without any disturbance. Yuliana pressed herself against the carriage wall as his knee came close, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
“W-What are you doing?”
“Yuliana, do you know about it?”
“Know about what?”
Yuliana quickly turned her head. A corner of the crumpled muffler brushed against Evan’s cheek.
Why?
In her blurry vision, he buried his face in the muffler, smiling with a smirk.
“The Blue Rose Tournament is coming up soon. It’s a foolish archery competition where noble fools compete with both feet and hands. You know why, right? Knights riding on magnificent horses. Willing to pierce their hearts to offer rose flowers to idolized ladies.”
“Is that so?”
“Pretending not to know, huh? I know you received many rose flowers at the last tournament.”
“As you said, it’s all meaningless.”
Yuliana awkwardly smiled and shifted her gaze to the aristocratic manor outside the window. Even though she didn’t look at him, Evan responded.
“I know. It’s all meaningless. That’s why you haven’t participated so far. Just because they stab their hearts with arrows doesn’t mean they can win your beggar-like love.”
“I see.”
“But…”
Evan carefully grasped the fluttering end of the muffler and continued speaking.
“Even so, we can’t miss the opportunity to legally deal with those scoundrels who bother you. Since you’re publicly accompanying me, you have to strike a balance and keep them in check, right?”
“…I knew that.”
Yuliana forced herself to speak with a forced tone of indifference.
Normally, she wouldn’t have felt any hesitation about using him, but things were different now.
Yuliana tried to ignore the throbbing ache in her heart as Evan draped the fluttering muffler over her shoulders.
“Yuliana.”
“…”
Yuliana cautiously lifted her head at the sound of her name being called.
Her pupils trembled with fear. Unable to discern where that fear came from or if it would ever dissipate, Evan simply gazed at her and whispered softly.
“It’s okay to use me. But don’t try to use me with the intention of leaving me behind.”
As soon as he finished speaking, he let out a sigh he had been holding back forcibly. At the same time, Yuliana bit down on her lower lip firmly. Evan felt a sense of anxiety as he greedily admired her chubby lower lip, which showed signs of being pressed.
The anxious tension was oddly satisfying. Yuliana Oborn wouldn’t know that even if he got angry and anxious, it wasn’t too bad in front of her.
It didn’t matter.
This level of secret was worth keeping.
—
After digesting what happened at Lady Elcelli’s mansion, Yuliana, feeling completely refreshed, set foot into the duke’s study for the first time.
The study, passed down through generations, contained many rare books that were difficult to find even in the royal library. There were many magic books that Yuliana, a mage herself, had never seen before.
Thanks to the numerous dukes proficient in both swordsmanship and magic, the study housed an immense amount of books, covering various fields.
Looking up at the high ceiling of the grand study, Yuliana exclaimed, “I’ve lived for two years and never visited here. Past me was truly remarkable.”
Of course, there were many reasons why she wasn’t close to the study.
Although she was a mage, Yuliana wasn’t the type to put in much effort. Born with a body familiar with magical power from birth, she naturally absorbed mana from the air without much effort.
It was easier than running. So, Yuliana was inherently different from others who became mages through sweaty efforts and hard work.
“…I was born with a silver spoon as a mage.”
Yuliana muttered to herself as she reached for a nearby bookshelf and casually flipped through a book.
It was a magic textbook she had seen when she was five. While other academies in different countries boasted that high school students studied this level of theory, for young Yuliana, the content of this book was child’s play.
Yuliana casually shoved the book she wasn’t interested in back onto the shelf.
“Where is it?”
Putting aside childhood memories, she left the section with magic books to search for the “history” section.
Luckily, there was a book titled “Empire’s History and Adventures” nearby. It was a book well-known to Yuliana, who had been taught by a private tutor at home instead of attending an academy.
Unfortunately, due to her lack of interest in studies other than magic, Yuliana was ignorant of other fields of study.
“Cough cough!”
As soon as she took out a heavy book from the shelf, a cloud of dust billowed out. Yuliana carried the book to a secluded corner and sat down.
